Broken Angel
by Natalie River
Summary: Mello left Wammy's and Matt followed. He followed Mello through the Mafia ranks, he followed Mello through the Kira case. Now he's following Mello to his death.
1. Chapter 1

**Authors Note: This is set maybe a couple of months before Matt and Mello's untimely death. But this story isn't purely Matt/Mello. It also will include flashbacks, and fate. Some sad stories, and a little bit of romance. But this first chapter's a taster. I don't own death note, and sadly I doubt I ever will. However I do hope people will review, and give me some advice, criticism or praise if it's deserved. Thank you. **

"How the fuck did you get in here?" Mello asked gun barrel raised towards the teenager who stood in the doorway. He knew that if the teen, had decided to shoot it would have been too late. But he didn't intend to. Otherwise, he would have already done it when he had had the chance.  
>"Mello!" The teen shouted in a voice that obviously belonged to a child, trying to push past the mafia members who held him back. He pointed the gun at them, and gave an order. "Move."The mafia members didn't, they only took orders from one kid, and that sure as hell wasn't a redhead who didn't look old enough to drive. Besides, Mello would do more than shoot them if they disobeyed his orders.<br>"Answer me." The blonde shook his head as he spoke, and wondered how the boy knew his name. Was he a spy? He probably belonged to Near. He did sound young, maybe the same age as him "How?"  
>"Mello, please." Started Matt, pushing through more, as two men grabbed him knocking the gun to the floor. He had never actually intended on using it anyway. Why should he?<br>Mello sat up. "How the hell do you know my name?" He spat, abusively.  
>"Mello the world is quiet here." Mello was silent, it was the code he and..Matt had used. But that had been a long time ago. Mello wasn't sure what to do, a silence rang through his mind, echoing in the darkest corners. Someone who knew Matt's code. Still most of Wammy's kids used it, it could have been anyone. R or O even.<br>"Let him in!" Ordered Mello raising his voice. "I said move!" He shouted. The men scurried, letting the redhead slouch into the room, picking up the gun.  
>"God you guys! You gave me a bruise!" Matt pointed to a mark on his wrist, where the biggest man had grabbed him. He picked up his gun, and placed it back. Mello looked him over as he came to the couch, to sit down. He wore tight skinny jeans, in a bluish colour that matched his orange goggles badly.<br>He sat down on the couch, letting it absorb his weight. He tossed a chocolate bar to Mello. "This stuff is bad for you!" He remarked, as Mello took it ripping the foil off it and crunching it.  
>"And?" asked Mello chewing loudly. Sticky chocolate sticked to his teeth, making his mouth a cave of diamond teeth and muddy chocolate.<br>"And this is where you say well so's smoking." Prompted Matt.  
>"No I...should I?" asked Mello.<br>Behind them the mafia members talked. "Do they know each other?" asked one.  
>"They must." Muttered a dark haired man. "The whole code word thing.."<br>"He-ouch!" the last mafia member was promptly hit on the head by a book.  
>"Out!" Snarled Mello. "Me and my..guest need to be alone!"<br>"But Mello he has a gun!" started a man.  
>"He could be dangerous.."<br>"I have my own. I said out now!"  
>Matt sighed. "You never did change did you?" he asked, as the others filed out untidily, like naughty children sent away from the principals office. Matt grabbed the blondes head, fumbling with his hair and pulled him closer. He felt the others tongue collide with his own, and as Mello grabbed his waist a sharp jolt of excitement flew through him. He furiously tasted Mello's mouth, and could almost smell the chocolate still there. He felt as if he were trying to suck Mello's heart right out of him. Finally he pushed Mello away, even though he still wanted to hold him. He smiled. "Remember me now?" he asked.<br>"I-I.." Mello trailed off. "Why the hell shouldn't I kill you now?" demanded Mello, drawing his own gun.  
>"Because, I love you, Mihael Keehl ." Whispered Matt, as he pulled Mello's ear to his mouth.<br>"How? Matt!" And now Mello was smiling, he lunged forward hugging Matt with so much effort. Matt felt as if Mello was going to crush his bones. Mello smiled, showing pearly white teeth. "Matt! Oh my god! How did you..I..oh Matt!" Mello smiled. A truly proper smile. He leaned back, letting his arm droop lazily over Matt's shoulders. "You still didn't answer me." he demanded. "How the fuck did you get here? How do I know it's you Mattie? You could be Kira for all I know!"  
>"My name is Mail Jeevas. I used the code, the world is quiet here. And I love you." Matt said. Matt flinched back, as the cold arm touched his skin.<br>Mello smirked. "It really is you Mattie! Now talk." He kept the gun in plain sight.  
>"Please keep that thing. I hate it." Stated Matt.<br>"You carry too." Said Mello, smirking again. "Since when?"  
>"Since I left." Muttered Matt. "I-I need a job. But that's not why I came."<br>"And what reason would that be?" asked Mello. He turned his head so that Matt could see each eyelash outlined in the dim greary light.  
>"You." Smiled Matt. "You need me."<br>Mello shook his head. "I told you to stay behind."  
>"You need a hacker." Commanded Matt.<br>Mello hesitated, then decided to bluff it. "No, I don't. I have a perfectly high class hacker already."  
>Matt played along with it, toying with Mello's blonde locks. "Your hacker didn't defend the system that he built well. He used easily crackable codes, and the firewalls were pathetic. That's what made it easy to find." Matt looked smug.<br>"What the fuck? I didn't use bad codes. I thought I did a good job." Mello almost shouted, he'd always hated computers.  
>"Yeah well you're not as good as me. You need me Mello."<br>"Matt, you're good, I'll admit it. But go home."  
>Matt stopped leaning against Mello, and sat up. "Who the hell do you think you are? I'm sixteen now. I'm two whole years older than you were when you ran away. So you can't talk. Besides, you wouldn't really want me to join Near now would you?" He tickled Mello's ear gently.<br>"You wouldn't. Besides, he's what twelve?" Mello rolled his eyes.  
>"Acts it!"<br>"Yeah. You're almost seventeen. Most seventeen year olds still live with their parents." Muttered Mello.  
>"Yer, and I don't fancy living in a graveyard." Replied Matt.<br>"Matt, this isn't your fight. What are you a puppy dog?"  
>"You used to say I was." Retorted Matt. "You used to say a lot of things." His eyes had seemed large and unfocused. Mello felt like he really had just kicked a puppy.<br>"I'm sorry Matt. But it's true. So you threatened my men, and got in. What the hell did you expect to achieve? What if you didn't get the right place? Hm?"  
>Matt sighed, and looked at Mello. There were dark purple circles starting to form around his eyes, they were familiar in and outside Wammy's, as a trade mark of the famous detective L. Anyone who had even heard of him, had heard of the famous eyes. "I knew it was you. It took me so long of planning, so long of everything. Mells, why didn't you let me come with you?"<br>"I-I didn't want you to come. You shouldn't be here." Mello rolled his eyes.  
>"Well I am. And what are you going to do about it?" demanded the red head. "Mello I'm old enough to make my own decisions...I-I want to be here. I want to be w-with you."<br>Mello sighed, a tired sigh. "Fine." He paused. "Under one condition. You follow orders. I say run, you run. I say shoot, you shoot. You stay inside, and you do what I say. Understand?" he questioned.  
>"That's more than one condition." Started Matt.<br>"Matt, if you don't agree with them then I can have you locked up somewhere out of the way." Interrupted Mello.  
>Matt nodded. "Agreed, but I have a condition myself."<br>"You're in no place to make conditions Matt." Scowled Mello, furrowing two light brows.  
>"I'm not a kid." Answered Matt, as drew closer to Mello. He put his mouth very, very close to Mello's ear. So soft was his voice, that Mello could feel the tickle of breath on his ear. He suddenly remembered a long time ago, the last time Matt had been this close to him.<br>"I'm sorry. I'm tired." Mumbled Mello.  
>"Good. Where's your bed?" Whispered Matt. "Because tonight, I'm seme."<p> 


	2. Chapter 2

In the morning, after a pleasant shower Matt was up and ready for a good days work. He'd tried to drag Mello out of bed, but the boy, or should he say man, had refused. Mello was still the same Mello when it came to mornings. Finally, after Matt had been up for several hours, Mello finally submerged like a lake monster, from the bottom or a sewer filled lake. 

"You look like shit." Announced Matt. He had a laptop on his knee, and he curled up on a couch. It looked as if he was simply sitting at home browsing the internet, when in fact it was more like he was browsing top secret FBI files, which Mello doubted he wasn't. 

"Good morning yourself." Grumbled Mello. He looked tense. Then he forced a strained smile. "If someone hadn't used all the hot water, I'd have been fine." 

Matt laughed, and tossed a bar of chocolate at Mello. "I didn't. And I did offer that you share my shower." 

Mello caught the chocolate easily. "I'm still not sure you should be here. We're dealing with some pretty bad stuff." 

Matt sighed. "Kidnapping that Takimura? Really? Come on, we did some illegal stuff when we were younger." 

Mello looked at Matt. His red brown hair was still damp, and it hadn't been brushed. But he looked young, fresh and awake. Like he was still back at Wammy's. "Mattie, that stuff was tiny compared to this. We need the director, we can't do this otherwise. But this is serious, it

isn't a joke. Not like before." 

Matt laughed. "Come on Mells. We met Beyond Birthday!" 

"And we almost got Linda killed!" scowled Mello. He reached into his leather pants, to pull out his phone as it bleeped. 

"But she's fine. She had you me and Mason with her." Stated Matt, as he hit another key.

"Yes!" he shouted. Then he looked back at Mello. "Oh I'm in." 

"Hrm." Snorted Mello, as he snapped off a bit of the bar. Matt wondered why he didn't just shove the whole thing in his mouth. "In case you didn't notice Mason's dead. What happened is done. Now right now we need to concentrate on the director. Takimura will get us the notebook." 

"What's this for?" asked Matt. He looked at Mello. "Ahh. Yer, who would know they had this good security around Near, and the new L. But I'm almost in. What happens if you push Takimura too far?" 

"We won't." Mello said, uncertainty wavered in his voice. 

"Do you sometimes miss Wammy's?" asked Matt, a sort of sad tone lingered in his voice. 

"Never." Mello answered too quickly. He paused. "You just left didn't you?" 

"I left three months after you left. Had to wait a while, in case you came back. Like before."

Matt sighed. "Wammy's was different without you." 

Mello murmured. "Linda. Tell me about her, when was the last time you saw her?" 

"She was cut up, you know? Upset. Didn't understand why you left without telling her. Without telling me. Kept asking why. Thought she might have done something. She wondered why you left without us, without her. Lost her parents. Lost Mason. Then you." 

"And now you." Muttered Mello. 

"Yeah, well at least I said goodbye." Matt paused. "Mello, you're the only reason I'm alive. And you're the only reason this lot is alive." He referred to the mafia members. "You're not so bothered about keeping your new family alive." 

"Don't be stupid." Mello said. "It doesn't suit you Mattie. These idiots know that. Nothing happens unless it's planned." 

"But you got rid of the ones who annoyed you, didn't ya?" Asked Matt. He reached into a leather pouch and pulled out a packet of cigarettes. "You're playing god." 

"Those things are going to kill you. They're bad for you." 

"So's chocolate. I'm not dead yet. Why do you even care?" Matt reached for a lighter, and tried to force a flame out. "For fuck's sake! Stupid cheap lighter!" 

"What happened to the lighter I got you for your birthday?" asked Mello. It had been a beautiful lighter, with love from Mello engraved on it. It was emerald green and matched his eyes. It wasn't the kind of thing Matt used, but he kept it with him. 

"Linda has it. She was bad. Like I said. I gave it to her, to look after. She said I can have it back, when I come back with you. Both of us, in one piece. Not in body bags." He hesitated.

"Sorry." He muttered. 

"That was nice of you." Mello imagined Linda at Wammy's, flicking a lighter on and off. Waiting for them to come home. "Matt, I don't think either of us will be going home."  
>Matt nodded. "I know." He managed to get a flame to appear, and pulled the cigarette to his mouth. He inhaled, then breathed out puffing smoke into the room. <p>

"Can you smoke outside?" asked Mello. "I don't really want this place smelling like smoke." 

"Rod smokes." Complained Matt. 

"How the hell do you know that?" demanded Mello, wondering, how the hell he did. He'd only been there one night, and he'd briefly met Rod in the hall way. 

"Teeth. And smell. Marlbrolo I think." Matt didn't bother to tell Mello that this was one of the most popular brands, so it wasn't a hard guess. 

"You're more intelligent than I give you credit." Said Mello, smiling. "If you must, go ahead. You've already started anyway." 

"Near's got you down." Said Matt. He squiched closer to Mello, so that only a hairs width lay between them. The way you would sit with a very close friend. He lay his head on Mello's chest, and stared up into the misty eyes. Suddenly the vibrating of Mello's phone moved him. He could feel it through the tight leather. "Why do you still wear those? Denim's more

comfortable." 

Mello shushed him as he raised the phone to his ear. "Mello." Matt tried to listen in. Mello's eyes widened, and then he spoke in a quiet calm voice. "How the hell did you let this happen?...I'm holding each and every one of you accountable..do you understand me?" he asked. "I said do you understand me?" He bellowed. Matt could imagine the man at the other end of the phone nodding like a naughty school child. This idea of Mello as a teacher made him swear under his breath. "You had better be. Fine. Back here, one hour." 

He clicked off the phone, and threw it to the floor. "Mells!" Matt held his hands up, pushing the laptop of his lap and onto a small table. "What's up?" 

"What's up?" Matt asked, standing up. He held his hands out on Mello's chest, and could feel the boys heart racing through the skimpy leather vest. "Mello what's wrong?" 

"I fucked up Mattie that's what." Answered Mello. "The director's dead. Suicide. Now we have nothing. I fucked it up. Too concentrated on you, on myself. I fucked it up again." 

"Oh Mello. No you didn't." Matt hesitated. "It wouldn't have worked anyway. The director wouldn't have got you anywhere anyway." 

"What do you mean?" Hissed Mello, hand inching for gun. 

"Come on Mells. Put it away. You wouldn't shoot me." Matt said. 

"Why shouldn't I? I told you to stay behind. If you're in hospital then at least your safe." Mello demanded, shoving the barrel close to Matt's leg. 

"Because, if you did something that stupid, then you wouldn't know what could happen between us. You won't find me following you around like a puppy, and you won't know how good I can kiss. Plus, I'll just go join Near and die that way." Smirked Matt. Mello glared at him, and let him prop himself up onto his elbows. Even though Mello now leaned over him. "Mello I want to die with you." Said Matt. "Can I do something?" he asked suddenly. 

"What?" Asked Mello. "Why are you wearing those goggles?" he asked again, but was cut off when Matt pushed himself up higher, and kissed him. He was still for a moment, and Matt took this as an obvious sign that he wanted to continue. Matt wrapped his hand around Mello's thin petite waist, and eased him closer to him, deepening the kiss.  
>He ran his hand from Mello's waist, and further until he was running his hand through his hair. Mello returned the kiss, fumbling with Matt's red hair, and feeling it pass through his fingers. Mello pushed Matt down again, and then they were rolling over each other. Until Matt was nibbling Mello's ear, as Mello bit his neck. Their bodies felt as if they had been made to fit together, to become one. But the couch wasn't big enough for them for long, and suddenly Matt's face hit the table. <p>

"Shit!" Matt shouted. He put a hand to his lip, and felt the blood throbbing to the surface.  
>Mello swore to. "Bastard why the fuck did you kiss me?" he screeched, before storming out of the room. <p>

Matt scowled. "What's wrong with me?" he knew he shouldn't have kissed him at that precise moment, but Mello had kissed him back. Surely that accounted him for part of the blame. He stormed from the room after Mello, but didn't bother following him. Instead he headed to the bathroom. He hoped one of the mafia members cleaned it, because knowing Mello it was a mess. 

When he got out of the bathroom, he found Mello was shouting his head off at several mafia members. He was playing with his gun again, twirling it. Matt didn't like it, he was worried that Mello would shoot someone accidentally. Rod stood beside Mello, as if he was one of the teachers also. The other five lined up against the wall. 

"What happened?" asked Rod turning to Matt. "Mello? You're lucky you weren't killed for whatever the hell was that you did.." he started. 

"I didn't do anything!" Shouted Matt. "Well I did. But it wasn't Mello." 

"Hrm." Smirked Rod. Mello scowled at him, so he shut up. 

"What the hell did you guys fuck up on?" asked Mello. The mafia members looked at him. He managed to stare at each and everyone of them. 

"Sorry.." ventured one. "Mello you have no right to fucking shout at us." 

"Why the hell shouldn't I? Without that note each and every life of yours is in danger. Now I don't give a fuck about if I live or die. Because I know I'm dead soon. I'm not living to thirty, not in a world like this. But Kira is out there, and Kira is real. Now come on guys."

"We're sorry Mello." Muttered one, looking at his feet. 

"You're sorry? You should be. But we need a new plan. We need that note." 

"Sochiro Yagami." Said Matt slowly. He could taste the dry blood on his lip, he'd washed his mouth with water, but hadn't found anything sanitary. 

"Excuse me?" asked Mello. He wasn't used to being interrupted. 

"Sochiro Yagami. We need something he actually cares about. He had a daughter. Sayu Yagami." Repeated Matt. Then he swore. "Aw..crap." He realised what he had suggested, and now a teenage girl was going to get hurt because of him. 

"Oh this is good!" Muttered one of the men, shifting so he could lean against the dark wall.

He blended in with the black paint, because of his black leather. "He interrupted Mello.." 

"Shut up!" Commanded Mello. "He's onto something. Rodd have someone get to the girl. Today." 

"Are you sure?" asked Rod. 

"Do I look fucking sure?" asked Mello. "Exactly, now get to it!" The men nodded, and laughing they left the room. They finally had a plan. When they had Mello spoke again. "You should clean that cut." He muttered. 

"I did. There was no alcohol or anything. Well I co-" Matt was cut off because he watched as Mello disappeared into the kitchen, then returned with a bottle of rum, and some cleansing alcohol. Mello approached Matt, and pushed him onto the couch. 

"You can't clean it with ru-" Started Matt. "You son of a bitch!" hissed Matt, as Mello dabbed a piece of cotton wool soaked in alcohol to his lip. 

"Shut up." Said Mello, attempting to keep a monotone. It almost looked like he was enjoying watching Matt in pain. "The rums for when the boys get back." 

"What are they going to do to the girl?" asked Matt. Almost afraid. 

Mello raised an eyebrow. "Nothing. They won't hurt her. If she doesn't fight back." 

"Linda would fight back." Answered Matt sourly. "We'd do anything to help her." 

"Exactly." Answered Mello. "And Sochiro and Light Yagami will do anything for the girl." 

"Linda." Whispered Matt. Then he sighed, and grabbed the back of Mello's head, crashing their lips together. This time, Mello joined in, kissing him back. Because Mello never was one to apologise in words, he preferred to apologise using actions. Matt didn't object at all, it was how he showed he cared. Mello broke this kiss soon after their tongues collided. 

"Clean that stupid lip." Mello swore, as he wiped a tiny bit of Matt's blood from hi mouth. He dropped the cotton ball into Matt's hand. "I'm not doing it for you. And you taste like blood and medicine." 

"You never complained before." Muttered Matt.


	3. Chapter 3

The men got back quite late, quite soaked. They were all drenched, and Matt didn't wonder why. Outside it was blowing a horrible gale. Matt felt guilty, and queasy at the thought of what he had done. He didn't have a problem with kidnapping some director of some organisation. He didn't mind shooting someone, or torture. He didn't mind arson, he'd done that one, or theft. But kidnapping a teenage girl seemed wrong. It seemed wrong, and bad and something Watari would never condone. But they weren't at Wammy's anymore, they were in Mello's world.

Perhaps he should have been more clear when that came into the question. He had never meant kidnap, or hurting her. Just maybe holding a gun to her head, or something. He watched her from a security camera that the men had placed in the room they kept her in. It wasn't bad. There was a bed, a mirror. Even a curtain for some privacy when she changed. Matt didn't feel right watching her. Models, hell yeah, or someone accused of a crime. But an innocent teenage girl, that just seemed wrong.

"Matt?" asked Mello, approaching him. He'd been celebrating with the other men. "We need to sort some business out. Can you arrange a ransom call?" he asked. I need something of the girls, so we can show it to them. Understand?"

Matt nodded. He'd been expecting something like this, but he wasn't about to say. "Do I have to?" Was he? Instead he said. "On it." Mello patted him on the back, and stared out. Matt heard the sound of motorcycles, roaring into the distance.

He grabbed a key, and walked down the corridor, made of steel, towards the girls cell. Or room as Mello called it. He looked through a tiny window, and saw she was curled up on the bed, gag still in mouth, hands tied. She looked so helpless, and it looked as if she was crying. He wondered why Mello even had a cell in his hideout. What was the point? Then again Mello seemed to have everything. He pulled on the mask that Mello had given him, feeling quite ridiculous. He cautiously opened the door.

Sayu was standing, and she ran at him, knee raised and struck. Matt swore as many words as he could, and bent over. He straightened up, but the damage Sayu inflicted didn't stop him. Sayu shoved past him, hands still behind her back, and darted forward. It was obvious the girl had no clue where she was going, she reached the end of the corridor and turned left. Matt soon caught her, and as he was used to dealing with younger ones, he lifted her up, holding her like he had once held Linda, and carried her back. Had she not been struggling and attempting to bite him, it would have been quite nice.

He set her down inside the cell, and locked the door. Shit, he thought. Now I'm in a cell, with a girl who rightfully wants to murder me. He really hoped Mello hadn't left anything sharp laying around. Slowly but cautiously, he undid the gag that tied her mouth, she promptly tried to snap her fingers. "Bitch!" He swore, as she drew blood the second time.

"Queen Bitch to you." She spat. Kicking out with one foot. Matt backed away.

"I'm going to undo your hands alright? I'm not like the others ok?" he said, holding both hands in the air.

"Too right you're not!" Snarled Sayu, like a mad dog. "You weren't with them before. Why should I trust you?"

"Because I'm undoing your hands. Plus I have chocolate." Announced Matt. Sayu frowned at him, and slowly he undid her arms. "Don't do anything stupid." He warned, and pointed to the gun at his hip. "I move a lot faster than you do."

"Ok." Nodded Sayu. "My Dad's going to come for me. Understand?"

Matt nodded. "That's what I'm counting on." He paused. "What are you wearing?" he asked.

"What do you mean?" demanded Sayu. She covered herself with her arms.

"Tell me now!" ordered Matt.

"Jumper, T-shirt, Jeans." Said Sayu, pushing back on the bed, so she was as far away from him as she could possible get.

"All of it." ordered Matt. He hated playing the dominating role, unless it was with Mello. He figured he could overpower the girl if he had to.

"Bra, T-shirt, Jumper. Jeans panties socks trainers." Said Sayu. She looked scared and confused. Anyone in her situation would be.

"Take of your t-shirt." Ordered Matt.

"Wha? No." Begged Sayu. "Don't you have a little sister? A girlfriend? Anyone?" She begged.

Matt hesitated, and keeping his hand on his gun he dropped to the floor letting his knees buckle underneath him. "No. I don't." He said quietly.

"Don't you have a mother?" asked Sayu quietly, she was still shaking. Matt threw the blanket towards her. She hugged it around herself.

"Not any more." He sighed. "Sayu I don't want to do this."

"Then why are you doing it?" asked Sayu. "Let me go. I won't tell them who you are, any of you."

"Sayu I can't do that. Don't you understand what it's like to do anything for someone you love? You're willing to lie, to deceive? Just to please them. A friend, a brother, a boyfriend?"

Sayu let a single tear slide down her face. "Then you are no better than the rest of them." She answered but in her heart she agreed.

"There was once a girl I knew, and I loved her. But we weren't meant to be, only mates and nothing else. But I loved her like a sister. You remind me of her." Matt said coldly, simply stating a fact.

Sayu's answer sounder rehearsed, almost practised. As if she had been told how to bargain for her life if she was ever kidnapped. Perhaps she had been. It wasn't unlikely. She leaned forward and pulled the mask from his face, to reveal that he wore a pair of large orange goggles. "Then don't do this. There's another way out." She said coldly.

"Why the fuck did you do that?" Demanded Matt. "If Mello knew you'd seen my face he'd never be able to let you go alive. Didn't you think? You idiot! But don't worry, Near will know it's Mello. Even your father knows it's Mello." Shouted Matt.

The girl stayed calm though. She flicked bit of hair from her eyes, and rubbed her wrists. They were sore, and red.

"Think of this girl. What would you do to her? Please, don't hurt me. Please don't. Please!" She screamed, as Matt ripped her t-shirt from her. He had warned her, and now they would have something to send to the police force, a t-shirt stained with Sayu Yagami's blood. It had been Mello's idea. But now he wasn't sure why he was going through with it. Sayu pulled the blanket around her and redid her jumper up.

"I'm sorry." Said Matt slowly. "But I needed the t-shirt. Give me your arm." He commanded.  
>This time Sayu obeyed. Matt drew his blade, from his boot and drew it along her arm. Then, he held the t-shirt to it, and allowed it to seep up all the blood.<p>

"What happened to your face?" asked Sayu. In that moment, she looked so much like the young girl that Matt had once loved, he kissed her. Which was when Mello returned, gun in hand. And screamed.


	4. Chapter 4

Matt took his mind back to when Mello had left, the first week. He remembered walking in silence with Linda and Mark. There had been so many questions that Mark had wanted to ask, but he hadn't been able to chose the right one. It had been exactly a week since Mello had walked out, and a week since they had learnt of Watari's death. So now Roger was in charge, full time. Mark didn't have lessons with them, because he was only seven, but none of the teachers were trying hard to keep them under control. Let them have a week, one had said, a week to get over it.

Linda said nothing about Mello's absence, and neither had Matt. Mark wondered, perhaps Mello was in some different lesson. But by lunch he was no where to be seen, and Mark knew that no one else had seen him either.

"Where's Mello?" asked Mark. He flexed his fingers slowly.

Matt remembered looking at Mark, and wondering what to say. _I don't know or care_. Didn't sound quite right. "He's, he's gone away for a while."

"Is he ok?" asked Mark.

Linda shrugged, she had joined the line for lunch. It wasn't long, and no one seemed in the mood to eat. She grabbed a tray, that they used during school hours, and passed one to Matt and to Mark. "Come on," Said Matt, grabbing the younger boys arm. "Or there won't be much left."

"I liked Mello." Said Mark, he twisted a bit of dark hair. He'd always had very dark hair, and very, very pale skin.

"Yeah well so did I." Said Linda, helping herself to a hand full of grapes. She passed Matt a piece of chocolate cake. Mark helped himself to some too. The trio moved on to the hot food section.

"Where's he gone?" demanded the boy.

Matt shrugged this time. "Somewhere far away."

"And L and Watari have gone too." Said Mark in desperation.

Matt shook his head. "They haven't gone anywhere. L died. So did Watari."

Perhaps this was the wrong wording, but Mark didn't react. "Oh. Did their bodies stop working? Why did Roger lie then? He said that they'd gone away for a long time."

Matt frowned. He wandered why Roger kept it from them. Now they would always have hope that the two men would return. "Mello went away. But Watari's body was broken by Kira. So was L's."

Linda understood this. It was better to explain to a child why someone was dead, than to say they had gone to sleep. That was what the policeman had told Linda. They had said that her Mummy had gone to sleep, and for three years Linda had hardly slept.

"Why did Mello go?" asked Mark. "He really did run away?"

Matt shrugged again. "You're full of questions today aren't you Mark?" asked Linda.

"Mello went to catch Kira."

Mark shook his head, furiously. "No! Near is going to catch Kira. He says Mello ran away because he's sulking. Mello doesn't sulk. Does he Matt?"

Matt helped the boy reach the counter, because it was far too high up for him to reach. Matt laughed. "Mello doesn't sulk? Mello's the biggest kid here."

"Near still plays with toys!" Said Mark, his little mouth was wide open. He felt it had been quite necessary to point this out, in case someone had not noticed.

They located a table, and sat down. Linda didn't look interested in her food. But Matt and Mark tucked in. Matt wandered where Mello was, and what he was doing there. He'd ran away before, but a week seemed a long time. He had always been brought back, but this time it was obvious he had no intention of returning to Winchester . Unless it was in a body bag. Matt swallowed and attempted to dislodge the lump that had suddenly formed in his throat. He felt guilt that he hadn't gone with Mello, that he had let this happen.

"What's happened to your lip?" asked Matt.

Mark shrugged. "Don't know."

Linda hesitated, fork halfway to her mouth, she too had been thinking about Mello. It was hard to hear each other across the loud bubble of noise in the cafeteria. "Mark." She said sternly, and she sounded just like a mother in that moment. "Do not make me go ask Roger."

"Who cares about my stupid lip. Only Mello did." The boy pouted.

"Mark." Ordered Matt.

"One of the boys." Said Mark, as if this answered all.

"Which boy?" demanded Matt.

"Adam."

Matt tried to picture _Adam_ in his head. "Which one? How old is he?"

"He's in my class. He's nine."

"Why did he do that to your lip?" Demanded Linda.

"Because I could him a fucking idiot." Said Mark clearly.

Linda let out a tiny giggle, at the thought of such a serious boy swearing. "Where did you learn to say something like that?" she asked.

"Mello always said it to people he didn't like." Nodded Mark calmly.

"Why don't you like Adam?"

"Because he said Mello ran away and abandoned us. But Mello didn't did he? Mello's not a coward. Adam said Mello was afraid of being killed by Kira. But Kira can't get us can he? Can he Matt?"

Matt hadn't had an answer then, and he didn't have an answer now. As Mello paced the living room, swearing in as many languages as he could manage.

"What the hell do you think you were doing?" demanded Mello. "First you say she reminds you of Linda. Then you go and kiss her. I trusted you Matt. I left you here, alone. Because I fucking trusted you. And I find you sucking her lips?"

"You can't talk." Said Matt. "After you left us. Linda and Rhys were bumpy. I was a shoulder for her to cry on. And you know what, we got on. We got on really well."

"You fancied her when we were fifteen!" Shouted Mello. He fiddled with his gun by his side. "You got over her."

"Yeah well she never got over you." Matt spat. "At least I was there for her and Mark. At least I was there. You just ran away and hid."

"Is that what you think I've been doing for the past four years?" Bellowed Mello. "Hiding? Because I've been working my but off here. When you've been tucked up safe at Wammy's."

One of the mafia members stuck his head around the door. "Uh..Mello..?" he asked.

"OUT!" Screeched Mello. The man nodded, and hurriedly left. "Yeah at least I left. At least I left and ripped the bandage off, instead of teasing it off and opening an old wound."

"What the hell are you on about?" Matt's question hung in the air. Mello turned, and stared at him.

"I left, and didn't come back. I left, and made it clear I wasn't returning. But what did you do? You gave Linda hope. You gave her fucking hope, that you would stay. And then you left to be with me. How did she feel? Did you ever stop to think how she would feel? What about Mark? Did you promise him you wouldn't leave like nasty Mello did? Huh?"

"I-I never did that." Matt sighed.

"Yeah right! You went and made out with Linda a couple of times? Then you left her. Said you were over her. Come and find me. Tell me you want me and me alone. And I come back and find you kissing some Japanese chick?" Mello's eyes were wide and bloodshot. "And you can't even look me in the fucking eye. Because you're wearing those damn goggles. Do you ever take them off?"

"I didn't mean to kiss her. It's just. I don't know. Look man, I'm sorry." Matt hesitated, and stood up, venturing nearer to Mello. He walked in the way one would approach an angry animal, afraid it would bite but incredibly curious.

Mello pushed him away. "Why the hell do I trust you anymore?"

"Because I'm the only reason you're still alive?" Suggested Matt.

"Yeah well maybe you should have let me die." Mello flicked around. "You know what I mean?" He slouched onto the sofa opposite Matt's. "Maybe you should have let me die."

Matt shook his head. "No, Mells don't say that."

"Why the hell not?" demanded Mello. "Why not? You know what, I can understand how A felt. You know?"

"No you don't." Matt shook his head. "It didn't hurt anyone. The chick's fine. Linda's got Rhys. And Mark, he's what twelve, eleven now?"

"Twelve in January." Said Mello.

"Exactly. It's fine. I left, you left. Nothing matters, we're together. No one got hurt." Matt said calmly.

"No one got hurt?" Mello's eyes lit up. "What about me?" He put his hands to his face, then suddenly standing up took a swing at the wall. Perhaps it was not the cleverest thing to have done. But it was something that made him feel slightly better. He swore, as blood started rising to the surface of his fist. "Shit. That hurt."

"You know what Watari would have said?" asked Matt. "What did the wall do to you?"

"I imagined it like your face." Scowled Mello, clutching his bloody left hand in his right.

"Fair enough." Said Matt, he stood up and walked to the bathroom. Outside the door to the living room he found one of the men, his ear to the door. It was lucky that they had such thick walls in the hideout, but surely the man had heard something. "Mello said out!" Shouted Matt at the bewildered man. "Do not make me fetch him."

When Matt returned to the living room, Mello was nowhere to be seen. Matt decided that he had probably gone to the bedroom, so he headed off down the corridor, avoiding the locked room where Sayu was kept. He was right, and found Mello sitting on his bed, smiling slightly.

"Let's forget about this Mattie." He said. "Just for one night right? Let's forget about Near, and forget about L, and Watari and Kira. Even Kira has a night off once in a while, right Mattie? Right?" He laughed slightly. And held up a packet. "You smoke right?"

Matt shrugged uncertainly. "What is it?"

"Doesn't matter that much does it Mattie?" asked Mello. He took a long refreshing gulp of whatever the hell was in the bottle he gripped tightly. "Have some."

"I-I don't think will Mello. Not today. We'll all feel better in the morning right? You've made the call, and the father's agreed to come to LA. Right Mello?"

Mello didn't seem to hear his question. Instead he reached into a drawer, where he withdrew from it a revolver that Matt hadn't seen before. "You know Mattie, there have been so many times I've just wanted to give up." He said absentmindedly as he span the barrel.

"But then Near wins." Said Matt slowly.

"No Near doesn't. He won't ever win. No one wins. When my parents died, I was four. Four years old. And then, I went to that family. Except they obviously didn't want me that much. I thought they were my real family. Until Josh left. And then the woman I thought was my Mum, well she killed herself. Can you believe it Matt? Even she who loved me so much didn't want to be anywhere near me. She blamed me for him leaving. Because he didn't like me as much as she did. I killed her Mattie."

"Nah you didn't mate." Matt gently coaxed the gun from Mello's hand, but he snatched it back. "Why don't I put a bandage on your hand?"

"Why would you do that?" Mello cringed away from Matt. "My hand is fine as it is."

"Alright. But you need to get some sleep right Mello? Tomorrow we're hijacking a plane after all."

"You're not. This is my fight Mattie, mine. I don't want you or anyone else to take it. You know, I've already lost Mason. I can't lose you."

Matt shook his head. "But you're not going to lose me are you Mells?"

"I'm not letting that happen." Agreed Mello, shaking his head. "I didn't know he felt like that did I Matt? I was so preoccupied with Lisa. I didn't know he was so upset. I didn't know he worried so much about his ranking, and about the exams. How could I know that? I never knew that did I? We always got along us three. The three M's right?"

"No we weren't." Countered Matt. "It was always you and him. Never me."

"Why didn't I notice then Mattie? Why didn't I notice he was falling?" asked Mello quietly, he still span the barrel. "Why didn't I stop it Matt? Does that mean I'm going to hell? I don't want to go to hell. I let him die. I let him fall. Do you think he jumped? Do you think he killed himself because of me, because of what I did to him?"

Matt shook his head. "Mells, you didn't do anything to him. Just get some rest. You're going to hate yourself tomorrow for acting like this."

Mello laughed. "Yeah right. Matt I've hated myself since before I came to Wammy's." His body shook slightly, and a small tear left his eye. But he didn't cry, not properly.

"Why didn't you ever tell me?"

"Why should I have?" Mello questioned. "Rhys. What about Rhys? How's he? Is he ok? I was in an ambulance when his sister died. Matt I abandoned another friend."

"You couldn't have helped that Mello. As I remember I was in the ambulance with you." Matt hesitated, remembering.

"Rhys didn't even want to go to that party." Mello sighed. "He didn't even want to be there. We wanted to go though didn't we? And I almost got the rest of you killed again." He shook, as if he was cold.

"So? Rhys is fine now. He's dating Linda again."

"Matt you can't tell who's fine inside anymore. This world is just so fucked up. There are so many bad people, I'm one of them. You know, sometimes I agree with Kira. Sometimes I think he's right. I'm one of those bad people. I just don't want to go to hell. Please don't make me go there Matt! Please!" He begged, curling up on the bed. It looked like someone had changed the sheets since before, because now there was a blue cover on the duvet. It matched Mello's frightened cold eyes.

"But?" asked Matt, he hoped to hell there was a but coming along.

"But he killed L. He killed Watari!" Cried Mello. He flicked a blonde piece of damp hair out of his eyes. "He killed the only person who never left me. Perhaps they were right. Perhaps I should die. There's nothing here for me anymore. I'm always going to be second best. No one wants second. They always want the fucking winner!"

Matt wasn't sure what he should say. "Hey, dude. Come on, second out of the whole world ain't bad."

"Yes it is." Sobbed Mello. "Because B was second. Look what happened to him. A was first and she wasn't right , and she killed herself. Is that the only way out for Wammy's kids who aren't right? Is that the only thing I can do?"

Matt shook his head. "Mello, I'm sorry."

Mello turned to him, eyes flashing. In a shrill furious voice he accused Matt. "No you're fucking not!" He screeched. "You are the one thing I've ever loved. The one thing that's kept me here for so many years. And you know what. I've missed you so much. I've missed you, and then you came here back to me. And I find you kissing some bitch? I thought you loved me. I thought you loved me so much. Matt, you're the only reason I'm alive."

"Yeah, well it's because I know that I will never be number one to you. You've always been popular with girls and guys. So, the Kira case is solved. Whoop dee doo. And then you go off, find a nice prettier handsomer partner. Forget about me."

"That's never been true!" He spat. "Mattie, do you want to play a game?" Mello sounded, mellow and that was an incredibly rare occurrence. Especially for him to go between completely distressed and calm so suddenly.

"What kind of game?" asked Matt, wiping his mouth. He wasn't sure what Mello was on about.

"It doesn't matter. You won't want to play. You've never liked chance games." Replied Mello, smiling. He licked his lips, and span the barrel once more, and held the gun to his head.

Matt stared at him. "No! Mello don't you-"

But he heard the click of the gun, and Mello smiled. "Told you you wouldn't like it." He said calmly. He reloaded, and tried again. There was another click. He sighed. "It seems that even god doesn't want me to die."

Matt shook his head. "Come on Mells, this is stupid. You don't want to die."

Mello shook his head. "Come on Mattie. Russian roulette is not the same without a gun." He winked. "I've wanted to die for a very long time. But now seems right. Now I don't even have you."

Matt rushed forward and tried to yank the gun out of Mello's hand. It ended up in a squabble, the two men on the floor. "What the hell do you think you're doing?" demanded Mello.

Matt grabbed the gun, and held it to his own head. There was a click. "You can't play Russian roulette alone." He said.

Mello shook his head. "You're not dying on me Mail Jeevas!"

Matt shrugged. "Well you're not dying on me either."

As he talked Mello took the opportunity to grab the gun from him. He held it to his own head, and heard a click. He reloaded, and tried to pull the trigger again, but Matt had already tackled him to the floor. There was now only one blank space left. It was a fifty fifty chance. "Give the fucking gun to me!" Screeched Mello.

"Hell no. Mells you'll regret this so much in the morning." Matt hesitated, the sentence didn't seem right. "Mells you don't really want this. Sure life's been tough. But you need to keep going. Who'll finish this if you don't?" he demanded, kicking the gun away from Mello.

Mello reached for it, and at the same time so did Matt. "You know this won't work. Kira has won."

And then, there was a gunshot.


	5. Chapter 5

Matt had removed the gun from Mello's room. He had also attempted to remove the gun that Mello was used to using, however removing something from Mello without waking him up was quite hard.

The Mafia members had come running when they had heard the gunshot. Apparently they had taken bets before entering, upon which had shot the other. And where they still alive. When in fact, all they found, was a slightly dishevelled Mello sobbing. And Matt, holding one of his guns, and of course the bullet that had got stuck in the ceiling. But as Mat was holding his own gun, they had decided not to ask questions. Or at least, they wouldn't be asking questions until the next day.

Matt had put Mello to bed, covering him with the duvet. He had decided he would sleep on the floor that night, instead of sharing a bed. It just seemed, wrong under the circumstances. But he still wanted to be near Mello. He had provide the Mafia members with what they needed to know, and then he had sent them off to sleep. Told them they'd need a good rest for the next day. Because tomorrow everything was going to happen just like Mello had planned. They were going to get their hands on the notebook that Mello wanted. And they were going to still be alive. He had assured them that they would remain alive, only while Mello was with them.

Then they had left him with a scared childlike Mello. They said someone would get rid of the bullet without doing too much damage to the room. Matt couldn't care less about damage to the room at that moment. He couldn't care about a lot of stuff. But there was always tomorrow, and the day after. He set his alarm to eight am. This was a horrible lie in for Mello, but the man deserved it. Besides, by then Sochiro should have been leaving and heading straight for LA. Which was when the hijackers would arrange to hijack the plane. All that was left to do was take Sayu to the location where the plane would land, and they would hand her over. In return for the death note. If all went to plan, it would work perfectly.

But there were so many things that might not go to plan. And so many more to come. What if Kira really did win? What if they were all doomed to die. He'd known it was going to happen all along, but it just didn't seem right. It just wasn't what was planned. He'd never imagined himself getting to twenty years old. But here he was, and it looked like he was about to do just that.

Matt lay awake, trying to sleep but not succeeding. In his mind he replayed scenes from his and Mello's past. He remembered when they'd met, and when Mello had vowed they'd be best friends forever. He remembered when Mello found out he self harmed. He'd been pissed about that, but he'd still been Mello. He remembered when Mason turned up, and suddenly both he and Mello had realised that there were girls in the orphanage. And some of them were hot.

When Mason had turned up, it had been weird. Because the closer Mello had gotten to Mason, the further away he distanced himself from Matt. It was like to gain something Mello had to lose something. Matt had always tried to tag along with Mason, but it had never quite worked out properly. And then, suddenly they'd gone away on those three days. Just three days away, Mason Matt Mello Linda and Sara. It was amazing how three days could change your life so much. Because on the second, or maybe it was the third; you couldn't be sure, Mason had died. And ever since Matt had constantly wandered if he had fallen or jumped. The coroner had called it accidental death. But the thought was always trapped in Matt's mind.

After that Mello, Matt and the two girls had gotten closer. Much closer. And Linda had moved on, started dating some guy called Rhys. Well, she never truly moved on. Mason was always in their minds but they had had to accept that there were other things to life. They'd all spent a long time talking to J, the counsellor after the accident. He was worried about all of them. But then he'd finally admitted that they had lives and they had to live on.

Matt walked down his memories path, looking back at what had happened since he'd met Mello. After Mason's death they had all bonded so much. They'd gone to that party the first thing they'd left Wammy's for after his death. And that had ended horribly. Mello had been trapped in a walk in freezer until he almost died, Matt had been trapped and choked by fumes. But that too had only made them stronger. Mello had always been the dominator. Always so cool and calm and reserved. He'd never once been afraid or scared. Nor had he been in a situation where he hadn't been in control. But now here he was. And Matt definitely didn't think that Mello was in control.

He soon found himself drifting into a whimsical sleep. Letting the waves of nothingness wash over him, until finally all thoughts of Mello had left his mind. But no sooner than that had started, it ended abruptly when his alarm rang out. It echoed and screeched, Matt rolled over to flip open his phone and turn it off. Suddenly the night's events came flooding back to him. He stood up, and realised that he'd slept in his clothes. Not that it mattered, he didn't really care. Besides, he'd probably been too stressed out to bother changing. He'd just crashed like the lousy good for nothing computer he once had.

Standing up he found that Mello wasn't in bed. "Shit." He swore. He rushed out of the bedroom, and hurried towards the other rooms. He didn't need to look far, because Mello was already up and sitting in front of a screen. He had a mug of coffee in his hand, and a blanket wrapped around his shoulders. It looked as if he had a bad cold. He was changed from what he was wearing the day before, and now he sported even tighter leathers, and a black studded vest. His nose was slightly red, and he sniffed when Matt came in.

"You look like shit." Said Matt. He thought this was the best approach to Mello, it always was.

Mello smiled , his hair was still damp and he had appeared to have showered. He shivered slightly though the blanket looked quite warm. "Touché. I didn't want to wake you up."

"Where's everyone?" demanded Matt.

"Getting the note." Mello stated sourly. "According to them you threatened to shoot anyone who let me go with them."

"I did. And I would have." Said Matt calmly. "Besides looks as if you're taking part enough from here.

Mello was listening to one of the men speak. "Sochiro Yagami has boarded the flight we've hijacked, via gate 18." He told Matt.

"Right." Matt plonked down beside Mello.

"Last night didn't happen by the way. I was drunk." He stated clearly. Matt noticed a dark red gash on his right arm.

He grabbed the blondes arm, and dragged him into the light. "What the hell have you done?"

"Nothing." Muttered Mello. "It worked for you didn't it?" he demanded.

Matt pushed the laptop away from Mello so he could examine his arm in more detail. "_Mello, we have taken control of the plane. Sochiro Yagami is on board we have confirmed it. We will be landing shortly at the bunker._" Said one of the hijackers through his radio.

"Good work." Replied Mello ignoring Matt. He flicked his ear piece. "Ross can you hear me?" he demanded. "They will be landing with you soon. Get the girl ready."

_"Understood."_

Mello removed the ear piece. He looked up to Matt. "You could have fucked this whole thing up you know that right?"

Matt shook his head. "They aren't as clever as you. But they know what to do Mells. Besides, you already had this hooked up for me. And I sure as hell wasn't going to be using it." Mello took a sip of coffee and then a bite of chocolate, he chewed and mashed the two together before swallowing.

"You know they should make chocolate coffee. Have they done that already? It'd be awesome." Mello took another slurp. "Mhhm."

Matt thought of all the other noises Mello was capable of making. This made his insides sparkle and die slightly. "I think they have already done that Mells. The guy who did must have been a genius."

Mello sighed. "Perhaps it was Watari."

"Perhaps it was." Repeated Matt. Suddenly being alone in the hideout with Mello, was very, very awkward. "You used a razor?" asked Matt suddenly.

Mello had resumed typing. He looked up. "Hrm?" he questioned.

"You used a razor?" Matt asked again.

Mello nodded. He'd broken open a razor and drawn the blade along his arm, pressing down hard until it drew blood. "It's what you used to do. It helped."

"Shit Mells, no it doesn't."

Mello's hands were shaky as he typed. "It looks like Near's trying to locate where the flight's going. You managed to trace some of his research etc right Mattie?"

Matt sat beside Mello, and took over typing for a few moments. _"Mello we have landed. Sochiro Yagami has left the plane the missile is ready. We are ready for the exchange."_

"Good work guys." Mello repeated. "Tell me when you have the note."

"_Will do boss."_

Mello turned to Matt. "Yeah I can't hook his signal constantly but.." he hesitated, and flicked what seemed like random keys. "He seems to be trying to find satalite images of the bunker."

"Good thing it's underground them right?" asked Mello, grinning.

"Mhm." Matt agreed. Now it was a waiting game. Mello heard gunshots, and didn't flinch. But Matt did. "What the hell's going on Mells?" he demanded.

"Oh it's all part of the plan. Just to scare Sochiro a little. And the girl."

"She's only a bit older than Linda." Said Matt.

"Oh shut the fuck up Mattie." Ordered Mello. "Go get me something to eat."

Matt obeyed for some reason. _"We have the note!"_

"Great." Said Mello. "Test it." He commanded like a god.

"_Understood Mello._" Mello could hear scribbling. A few moments later, the man was back in contact. "_Oh my God!" _He gasped. "_It worked. The Death Note worked. Mello it's real!"_

"I know that idiot!" Mumbled Mello. "Release the girl."

_"But she saw Matt's face."_

"I keep my word. Unlike an albino sheep. Release her."

_"Done."_

"Now get the hell out of there!" Shouted Mello. Finally he was winning. He had the death note, and he knew that they needed it to find Kira. Because even if Near was number one, he wasn't a super human and he certainly wasn't L. Therefore he could not do it alone. Because Near was human. And Mello for once was winning.


	6. Chapter 6

**Authors Note: A little depressed today. Seems like no one's reviewing :'( Please make me happy and review. With one click of a button and a few typed words you can make a young girl very happy. Please, it doesn't cost you any money bar what you pay for internet acsess. All it means is that I smile, a true smile. I feel kind of like Mello today. You can always tell when I'm down, because my main charecters are too. Anyway enjoy-~-~-~-~**

Mello's smile was the fakest thing that Matt had ever seen. More fake fake tan. It wasn't a grin, or even a grimace or a smirk. It was an _I'm not at all suicidal_ smile. Plastered in fakeness with an extra sprinkle of fakeness inside it. He remembered when Linda had moped around wearing a smile that fake, it hadn't fooled anyone but Roger and Watari. Even L. But there were some things, that slightly less super humans could only know. And this was one of them. Matt almost wished that Mello was trying to shoot him again, instead of being so damn quiet.

"You blew up the helicopter?" asked Matt.

Mello shook his head, allowing a spark of sarcasm to return to him. "No Matt. Some other guy did."

"Are they on their way back?" demanded Matt.

"They're almost here." He looked up to a computer screen that he'd had Matt move. "Yep they're here." He pressed a button that released a door.

The men filed in, all smiling showing yellow teeth. "We got it Mello!"

"I noticed." Mello said. "Give it here."

"Wha?" demanded one of the men, he clutched it to his chest. He held gloves so as not to touch it directly.

"I said hand it over."

"'Course Mello. Thing is.." Pointed out one man, clad all in leather. He looked like it didn't suit him, but no one would say otherwise. "..we did all the work for it. So, I..I mean me and the guys..we think you owe us that information you promised us."

"You mean the rat you've got?" Mello asked, innocently. "The other one. Not the one you had killed earlier?" The men nodded. "Mattie, pass me that photograph." Matt passed it to him slowly. "Here you go." Said Mello. He handed it to the man. In exchange for the note. Mello took it carefully, not letting it touch his skin, instead using a piece of tissue that Matt had left lying around. "It's the real thing is it?" he asked.

Matt sat back, watching the show. "Yes Mello." Said Rod.

"Which one of you used it?" demanded Mello.

"I did." Jack spoke up. Not nervous, he was used to much worse than this.

"Jack right?" asked Mello. The man nodded. Mello didn't know all of their names, but he needed to remember this one. "Drug trafficking?"

"That's right." Laughed Jack.

"Good. Then I need you to prove it to me again. You've read the rules right?" Mello was flicking through it, careful not to let it touch him.

"No Mello." the man sounded like a school boy. It always amazed Matt, how they treated Mello with such respect. When it looked like these guys could beat him easily in any kind of fight. It made him wander what exactly Mello had done to gain that respect.

"If it's destroyed anyone who's touched it will die. And once you write one name, you have to carry or you'll die after thirteen days."

"Shit!" Swore Jack. "But you did tell me to right man?"

Mello shrugged. "I did indeed. Now, I want proof of this. Don't worry, I doubt you die. And if you do at least you'll die free."

"Proof?" asked the man. He was too young to die. "Why can't you write in it?"

"No point in us both dying is there?" asked Mello, he leaned back. "Besides, I'm sure my guest here has threatened to kill anyone who harms me. Don't worry he's timid as hell. Once a uke always a uke. Besides, I'm the dominant one who will cause the death of any single one of you who dares disobey me. Get it?" He shouted.

Roy felt as if he were about to put his hand up. But he didn't. He hated being scared of the kid, but things like _Death Notes_ were just to scary to be real. He knew he owed his life to Mello, and so he didn't complain. "Are you two..you know?"

"What?" asked Mello, snapping around. "Roy's the name right?"

"Yes Mello. Are you..you know..dating?"

"Mpht." Smirked Mello. "Wouldn't you like to know."

Jose felt like he should say something. "It's cool dude." He hissed around. "_Look what happened to Miller and the other guy!"_ He turned back to Mello. "We owe you man. So have you always known you were gay?"

"I'm not gay!" Countered Mello in his usual response. Matt smirked, this was so typical Mello. It was better than nothing. "Since I was fifteen." He added.

"'s cool."

There was a heavy awkwardness in the silence. Lingering in the air before falling. Jack spoke up again. "Mello you wanted proof right?"

"Yes." Mello became flustered, but regained his confidence quickly. "Well Jack, this is your lucky day. And by the way, I do know you're name's not actually Jack. But let's not trust each other yet ay Jacky boy?" He turned to the others. "I've given you the info, would you like to get on with whatever you're doing? I think I've had Mattie here include a little tinsy bit extra. Think of it, as a bonus. You'll find some nice stuff in there." He winked, and shooed them away. They looked like three year olds being handed a big bag of candy.

Mello sat down, still holding the note. He ripped the wrapper of a bar of chocolate with his teeth, and gave Jack a smile. "Now, Jack my boy. We're friends aren't we?"

Jack nodded. "Yes Mello."

"Good. Because we don't like it when accidents happen to our friends do we Jack?"

"No Mello." His voice was rough, and slightly more unsteady than he was aiming for.

"Exactly. Now you see here, I'm the genius here. How many unplanned for deaths have there been ever since I turned up?"

"None Mello."

"Exactly. How many times have we been caught since I arrived?"

"Never." Said Jack. "You said..you said you knew someone on the police force. That you got information from. Some annoying brat."

"Well got's the wrong word." Said Mello. "More like stole."

"I like that." Smiled Jack. He felt quite comfortable sitting beside Mello. Not as half as scared as he had been to start with. But with the computer geek sitting there, being very quiet now that was frightening. Jack preferred Mello who shouted, cause you knew where you were with a guy like that. But the redheaded geek, now he seemed intelligent. It was obvious that Mello was, but Matt. That guy was too quiet.

"Well the twat, sheep look alike that he is, has a team. And you see, it's hard for me to believe that's the real thing not knowing if it works. I know the names of that team. Are you thinking what I'm thinking?"

It finally dawned on Jack what Mello was suggesting. "You want me to-?"

"Good man Jack. Don't worry, accidents never happen to important people."

"Oh hell yeah. You're right man. Thanks."

"Your welcome. But first, I'd like you to deal with the hijackers." Mello prompted. He passed a piece of paper with faces and names.

"Oh you mean those guys.."

"Yeah I mean those guys..because they're.."

"..not very important." Finished Jack.

"Glad to see you're on the same page as me." Mello thanked. "So here you go." He handed the man a biro, and he started scribbling. He finished the hijackers, and took a look over the names. "You see-I've specified the causes of death too. That's what I want you to do. Understand? Remember face in your mind as you right."

"Got it Mello." Jack replied. His tongue stuck out of his mouth as he wrote. He looked up and handed it back to Mello. He took it using the edge of his sleeve to hold it.

"Great. Now get off with the other guys. There're some drinks in the fridge. If you want to go out for a night out it sounds good."

"Jeez, thanks Mello." Smiled Jack. "Mates right?"

"Yep Jack. Because you're one of the important ones."

Mello cascaded the death note so that it lay on one of the tables. Matt went to straighten it, but Mello stopped him. "Don't touch it right?" he asked. "I mean it seriously." He added. "Just in case."

"Fine." Matt stepped away hands raised. "You know, it's good to see you smile, you've got a nice one." He sat back on the couch.

"Thanks. No one's said that before."

Matt hesitated, he was sure he had. "Are you sure?"

Mello nodded. "Yep. Wait you once said that my smile was creepy."

Matt laughed. "I probably did." He shrugged his shoulders. Gently he reached over for the tv remote, before switching hands so that his arm was still wrapped around Mello's shoulder. Usually it was the other way around. "Even though it's probably fake." He added.

"What do you mean?" Demanded Mello, fitting his head onto Matt's chest.

"Remember when we both got referred to J, that first time?"

"Yeah. You were there for selfharm right?" asked Mello.

"Nah. Well yeah, but not anymore right?" he asked. He pulled up one sleeve where faint white lines crossed over the entire arm.

"Right." Sighed Mello. "What about it?"

"You always knew I cut. I cut because things happened, but slowly I started to cut to stop things happening. And slowly gradually I stopped. Even then I still cut when thinks happened, but at least I had reason then."

"Mhm?"

"Well why were you there?" asked Matt. Curiosity had gotten the better of him, he'd always known that Mello was meant to see the shrink, hadn't bothered turning up for Dr Povey, but when they had a new guy he and Mello had both been referred the first time he'd just gone once then not bothered a million other times.

"After Mason died, I went to him about some stuff. And then the whole Lisa's party." Mello tried to explain.

"No. All of us had to go then, but I mean why the first time. Why did you get referred?"

"Oh..it's nothing."

"You sure?" asked Matt. Though he knew Mello was lying.

"Yeah. I'm sure. He'd have a fit if he could see me now. God I got enough of that thick head doctor. Made me sit there for hours, had me shove Prozac down my throat and then let me get on with it."

"After Mason?" Matt prompted.

Mello looked up at him, and nodded. "I should have known Mattie."

"Me too."

"Do you ever just feel tired?"

Matt rested his chin on Mello's head kissing his forehead slightly. "No." He shook his head.

"I was fifteen." Mello frowned. "Only fifteen." He rolled his head back so he could look at Matt's face. "Do you know how many shrinks I've seen?"

"Well, I had five.." Started Matt.

"I've lost count. Every single home I've gone to. I've seen their shrink, or the school's shrink. And then I've been referred to another. It sucks."

"I know." Smiled Matt. "I know. I'm always here to talk to you if you need it."

Mello smiled a very, fake smile. He seemed good at them. "I know. Thanks."

"When you're ready."

"Matt?" asked Mello, curling a piece of the redhead's hair with his finger.

"What?" asked Matt. He liked being the strong one for once.

"Be quiet."

Matt frowned. He kissed Mello's neck gently. "I'll behave."

"Matt!" Mello ordered.

"I'll try." Matt pulled him into a quick kiss, and then leaned him back against him. Soon Mello was falling into sleep much quicker than he had before. In Matt's arms, being cradled softly. Because that's what best friends were for.


	7. Chapter 7

**Authors Note: A short update to keep you going..gotta love a free lessson. Sorry it's short, but reviews make me write longer! Love you all who reviewed!**

Mello hated feeling weak. He hated being second in command, he liked to be in charge. A born leader, except he just wasn't. When he led a group he needed a speech, something to say. Mason had always used his looks to get what he wanted, but Matt was the real born leader. Matt had everyone and every thing doing exactly as he'd asked. He didn't need to raise his voice or threaten anyone, because being quiet scared people.

It made people think he was planning something, or doing something. It made people afraid. Because gun shots were less scary than the silence the redheaded hacker greeted the mafia with each and every day. He was intriguing, and they still wondered who he was. He'd shot his way into the place, decorating the walls with bullets and had demanded to see Mello. But ever since that he'd become, just mellow. Every now and then they shot glances at him, wondering what he was up to. Mello simply said he was keeping their butts safe, so that was fine.

But four days later things changed. Mello had had many of the mafia members use the note book. Just to test it of course, but he wanted to know that the thirteen day rule was not true. Because if it was, then Jack was in trouble. He didn't want to risk someone more important though. They had been sitting around the table, plotting to work out what to do next when Matt had walked into the room with his laptop. He didn't look at the other men, or even Mello or Rod. Rod was the only one Matt had said more than a few words to. Rod had assumed this was because they both cared for Mello to some extent.

Mello bit a bit off the bar of chocolate that Matt threw at him. It had become a routine over the few days they had been together. Matt would emerge at some random time, and Mello would hold his hands up ready to catch the chocolate. Just like old times, except the times weren't old. Like Mello had said, they weren't at Wammy's anymore. His smile was still as lifeless as ever, no happiness in it. Still as fake as fake tan, or more so even. The smile a teenage girl gives her best friend when she's just been dumped by text, that kind of smile. The_ I'm fine but I'm really dying inside please hug me _smile.

Mello nodded to Matt. "Ta much."

"Do you have a phone?" asked Matt.

Mello shrugged. "Too easy to track. We use one call. Why?"

"I can send the trace to hell and back." Ventured Matt. "I need to make a phone call."

Mello sighed. "Right. My phone's not being used, only in emergencies. Anyone got a phone that Matt can use?"

No one answered. "Fine. I'll be out for a while alright Mell?"

"Be good." Mello didn't sound interested. Perhaps he had a lot on his mind.

On the way out Jose slipped his phone into Matt's hand. "Not meant to have it." He muttered, passing the mobile over. He glanced at Mello who seemed totally uninterested. "Between us too."

"Thanks."

Matt carried on walking, out of the front door. He didn't want to get Jose in trouble and he certainly wasn't having someone trace the call. He knew that Near was a genius, but he wasn't sure Mello would appreciate a knock on the door from the police. Besides, easier to have it traced to a park bench than to a secret location.

He walked through the busy street once he reached it, and smiled as he held the door for a woman with a pram. The baby giggled, trying to grab onto his hair. He just smiled, and continued to walk. He'd always been good with the little ones. Even at Wammy's. He could always stop them screaming and crying. He could even get Mark to stop crying better than Mello. Finally he found a park bench and sat down. The sun shone high in the sky, it was a truly beautiful day. Not that Mello would ever come out.

He picked up the phone, and dialled the number he'd researched found and remembered in his mind. His stomach churned like it's contents was butter. He felt ill, and nauseas. It took him a few moments to get through to the right line. He had to type a code in first, and not fall for the decoys. Finally an electronically altered voice answered. "This is N. M?" asked the voice.

"J." Replied Matt. So Near had been expecting a call from Mello.

"Mello you killed the members of my group." Said the altered voice again.

Matt protested. "It's Matt."

"Oh." The voice hesitated, you could hear the quaver in it. "Hello Matt." The electronic voice was removed, replaced by a young boys voice. "This is Near."

"I know." Said Matt.

"How did you find me?" demanded Near. Matt could almost see him fiddling with his hair, curling it around his fingers.

"You may be number one, but I'm not far behind." Smiled Matt. "I do know how to use a computer."

"You're being tracked." Near informed him.

"Oh I'm aware of that. Don't worry I'm not an idiot. I'm actually quite intelligent."

"Really?" asked Near. No sarcasm traced in his voice.

Matt gritted his teeth. "I'm not with Mello. So I can't lead you to him. What's wrong with me phoning an old friend from a public place?"

"I was never under the impression that we were friends."

"It was sarcasm."

"Oh." Near hesitated. Matt supposed he was now knocking down a tower of toys, or something along those lines. Toys always helped him think. Just like cigarettes, but healthier. If there was anything healthy about a teenager who played with toys. "I assume you have a reason to call me. Tell me, do you know where Mello is?"

"I-I..yes. I know where Mello is." Admitted Matt.

"Would you care to tell me that location?"

"Fuck no."

"I thought as much." Near sighed. "So you're phoning about Mello?"

Matt paused. "How the hell do you know?"

"I have my resources."

Matt realised why Mello hated Near so much.


	8. Chapter 8

Authors Note: Thank you all for your reviews! I love you all! I will give everyone chocolate..for reviewing! Especially if you review often. Because it's really horrible when your review once then give up..yah know? Anyway, here's an update. Three thousand words in a day..wow. Have fun and..review! Reviewing makes Mello happy and less depressed. Meeting with Near tomorrow.

"Well." Said Near, twirling a piece of hair around his thumb and forefinger. "What is it that you wanted?"

The boy at the other end sighed. Near looked up at the monitor, Matt was right. Near may have been a genius in all areas, but computers were something Matt had a gift with. It was as if he had the technological equivalent to green fingers. The trace was bouncing across the country, and if what Matt was saying was true then it wouldn't help to trace him. Near had no fight with Matt. "..you already know it's about Mello."

"Yes. I already know it's about Mello. Is not everything about Mello?" he paused. "That was sarcasm."

"Don't do it. It doesn't suit you." Matt muttered. Near let a tiny smile form.

"You've been with Mello for this long?" enquired Near. "Ever since you left?"

Matt shook his head. Then remembered he was on the phone. "No." He finally choked out. "I found him less than a week ago."

"Really he was that easy to find?" Asked Near. He smiled, thinking of Mello's ignorance at being found by someone weaker than him.

"No. But I've always had a kind of radar when it comes to Mello."

"Of course." Near smirked. Then he added. "Could you get to the reason for phoning me?"

"I-I.." Matt hated talking on phones.

"Where are you?" demanded Near.

"Trace it." Spat Matt.

Near sighed. "I do not have time for your childish games. Give me a name of a city that you can get to."

"Bell."

"But you're not there, am I correct?"

It was just starting to rain, and Matt continued to walk. He didn't want to sit there in the rain like an idiot. It would probably make Near happy. "You are correct. As always." Matt said, through gritted teeth.

"Is it raining?" asked Near. He could hear the raindrops hitting the curb. Or something similar to that.

"Yes." Smiled Matt, his hair was gluing itself to his head. "However I don't doubt it's raining in many towns at the moment. It doesn't help you."

"Indeed it doesn't. But you are getting wet?" asked Near.

Matt passed a man jogging, and wondered how on earth he could walk about in shorts when it was so cold. Matt was wearing skinny jeans and a long sleeved top with a waistcoat, and still he wasn't warm. He wished he'd brought a jacket. "Yes Near. I am getting wet." He wondered why Near had asked, but thought it best not to ask.

"Water won't go in your eyes though." Prompted Near. "The only water that comes from your eyes are tears."

"Your point being?" demanded Matt. He swore as he bumped his leg into a lamppost. He should really look where he was going.

"There is no point." Admitted Near.

"So when are we meeting?" asked Matt. He was standing in a bus shelter now, looking at the different times.

"Shouldn't it be where first?" asked Near. Matt could imagine him smiling smugly. "Besides, I may be a genius but I find it impossible to travel that far so soon. Tomorrow Matt. Tomorrow."

"When?" repeated Matt. The drizzle was coming down thicker, and all the shoppers had disappeared into their houses or shops to hide from it.

"How about mid day? Is that ok for you?"

Matt hated the way the boy seemed so sure of himself. As if he was cocky, but wasn't actually trying. It still amazed him that no one had strangled him yet. "Where?"

"Allow me one moment." Matt could hear clicking. "I have an associate there, who owns a somewhat disorderly house. In return for keeping her from the police interest she gives me places to stay when I need them." He recited an address that Matt knew he would remember.

"Thank you." Matt breathed. Then he added; "by the way, I think you should change your codes. TWloYWVsIEtlZWhs is such an obvious one. Mihael Keehl my friend? Really? 51 75 69 6c 69 73 68 20 57 61 6d 6d 79 for Watari's name? Anyone that knows you can get through them. They're simple binary codes, I'd expect better from you."

"Thank you." Near repeated. "I will take that into consideration."

"One more thing. How do you know Mello's real name?"

Near sighed. "Tomorrow." Suddenly there was a buzzing tone, meaning Near had put the phone down. Matt swore and redialled, but he simply got a no known number existed. He'd have to find Near's number again, and get through the codes first. He was ninety four percent sure that Mello would have a copy of it, but he didn't want to be asking him.

When Matt got back he was soaked through. He shivered as he headed to the bathroom grabbing a towel he headed toward the bedroom. He found Mello, sitting. That's right, just sitting. Not shouting, not working. It made Matt worry. But Mello was a strange boy, he always had been.

"Why are you alone?" asked Matt.

Mello shook his head. "I am not alone. God is with me." He smiled, a sad smile. "God is always with me."

Matt ploncked down on the bed beside him, tucking his feet up so he could lean his head on Mello's chest. "Can you prove that god exists?" he asked.

"Yes." Said Mello. He hesitated. "Proof needs axioms. For example 5 axioms are taken to be true by their virtue. Proof for other theories based on these. In a system god's existence can be seen as an axiom and be used to make an explanation for the universe. Or it can be proved using appropriate axioms."

"You believe in him? But using that theory I can prove that god doesn't exist." Matt sighed. He had never been religious, but Mello obviously was. Strange thing, Mello didn't seem the type.

"Using your take I can prove you don't exist Mattie. You're just another voice in my head." Mello rubbed Matt's hair with the towel. "You have lovely hair Matt. For a hallucination."

"But I know I exist." Countered Matt. "I have feelings, I know I exist."

"It might be an illusion." Mello winked. "A seductive one."

"Maybe." Matt sighed. "Don't do this. Right I think therefore I am."

"That's the same as people think and feel that God exists." Mello ventured. Matt just wouldn't understand.

"But you can't prove it." Matt said. He frowned, he was getting confused.

Mello addressed Matt like you would a toddler. "Proving that God exists is illogical in itself. Even Near couldn't do it."

"Not everything can be explained by logic." Matt tried. "Sometimes we think, and do things that don't seem sensible. But they make sense to yourself."

"What do you mean?" asked Mello. Matt's hair was almost dry, so he threw the towel to the floor.

Matt didn't say anything. Instead shaking his hair like a dog, he hopped off the bed. And started to strip. Mello let out a little gasp, but soon realised that Matt wasn't completely stripping. Finally after closing the door he hoped back into the bed, pulling the cover over him, and dragging Mello under it to. So that they were spooning again.

"Like you. You have no logical reason to die." Matt paused, brushing Mello's hair out of his eyes. In a very motherly way. He grabbed Mello's top and started to pull it off. Still open wounds ran across his chest and stomach. It looked like he'd been making them for a while. But the most recent ones were the still open ones, oozing slightly. Matt's trembling hand traced down them, the ice cold touch reminded Mello of the blade that made them. As Matt grabbed his wrist, it reminded Mello of the task he had come so close to doing. But he hadn't. He would continue to live as long as Matt did. "Shit." Swore Matt. He traced them again with his fingers. Hands on Mello's chest, looking up at the older boy.

"I-I don't want to die." Mello smiled his _I'm so not suicidal_. But it was true. He didn't want to die, just not to live. "If I did I'd be slitting my wrists. Come on Mattie, you know me. If I really want something I get it."

"Apart from first place."

"Apart from first place." Mello agreed. "So, have you got any plans for tomorrow?" he asked. He left the shirt off oblivious to the fact that it upset Matt.

"No." Matt hesitated. "Well actually yeah, I was planning on going out. Why?" he asked. "You said I could come and go as I liked. You're busy with the president or something?"

"Oh. No reason." Mello paused for a breath. "Yeah I guess. Something like that."

"God are lives are messed up." Commented Matt.

"Breathing's meant to be so easy isn't it? Every fucking one can do it." Mello said.

"What?" Matt's eyes were crossed. "What are you on about?"

"Babies can do it from the minute they're born. So why the hell can't I do it? I find it so hard to breathe Matt. After nineteen years I should be able to do it. I should be able to do so many things, but I can't. It's so stupid."

"Mello don't be thick. You're running the fucking mafia. I mean come on." Matt boasted, sounding as proud as a parent saying their son had come first in their year in the exams.

"It's true. If you asked me when I was ten when we met I would have called you so many names. But it's true. Breathing's just like inhaling air isn't it? But it's a gift. It keeps us from dying. I always wanted so much. I wanted to know so much. But now I do. I know too much, and it's killing me Matt."

Matt sighed and put his arm around Mello's topless shoulders. "I know Mello. I know." He soothed in his sweet voice, like silky chocolate running down Mello's throat.

"So what the fuck am I going to do? I'm going to solve this damn case and then I'm stopping fighting Gods plan. He wants me to die. I'll go wherever everyone else like me goes. Heaven or hell? Or nowhere at all? Where ever the hell it is it's better than here. One friend. In the whole world. One fucking friend, who I love. Mail Jeevas I've always loved you. I've always, loved you. Ever since we met, I knew it."

"So I'm not good enough to live for?" asked Matt.

Mello shook his head. "I'd die for you."

"That's not what I'm asking for." Objected Matt.

"Mattie you don't love me though do you? You love me like a brother. You made a promise to Linda. You're keeping it."

"I promised we'd both come back."

"Mattie I'd die for you. But you wouldn't for me. After this whole Kira case is over I will be dead. But not before winning. I will win. It's all down to me. After this chaos is over, no one will forget Mihael Keehl. Covered in scars, so deep and purifying that no one will forget. But they'll also remember Mail Jeevas, the one who helped. You are the survivor Mattie. Because you don't love me. Anyone who does ends up dead."

"Then I'm destined to die."

"Aren't we all?" asked Mello. He snuggled his head onto Matt, and lay there silently. "So Matt if you know everything. Why the fuck am I standing by the edge? Why am I here? What the hell put me here, preparing to kill myself?" 


	9. Chapter 9

**AN: Happy Birthday to Brattyteenagewerewolf! Thank you all for reviewing. I'm so sorry that my grammar and spelling are so bad. Guess you're one of the first to tell me that. Ah well. Thanks to the rest of you guys too! I wasn't going to update tonight..but I did. Because of your reviews. It made me happy!**

The next day, Matt slipped out easily. Mello was too busy ordering some raid or other to notice he was leaving. Perhaps this was due to the fact that he had a lot on his mind, or maybe he was just losing his observance slowly. Usually there would have been a _where the hell are you going? _But he said nothing.

Matt felt like he was doing something illegal. Or at least he felt what he thought you should feel if you were doing something illegal. He felt that he regretted arranging to meet Near already. It was something you just didn't do. If you were worried about your best friend you didn't arrange to meet his arch enemy. But that was something that Mello didn't realise, thought Matt. Near would always be an ally. Kira was an enemy. But Mello treated everyone as if they were against him. It was as if he preferred to work alone than to work with someone. No matter how harder it made everything for him.

It was still raining when Matt left the hideout. He walked to the town, which took him about half an hour. It was more of a speed walk than a wander, because today he wanted to get to Bell before Near. Near was always early. Finally he reached the outskirts of the actual town, and headed towards a bus shelter. It was a Wednesday, and there were a group of kids that looked that they should be in school. They were all fumbling around with a lighter, trying to hide that they were smoking. They jeered at Matt when he sat down, the eldest looked about eighteen, the youngest about twelve.

"Freak with the goggles!" Called one. He had spiked blonde hair, and wore an outfit that looked like his mother had dressed him. "You got a light?"

Matt shook his head. "Shouldn't you be in school?" he asked.

The kid laughed. "Bet you should be too. How old ya, seventeen?"

Matt frowned. "Nineteen."

"Wicked."

An elderly woman and a man stood next to the bus shelter. They hadn't ventured inside, because of the children that were already there. One of the boys was inking his name onto the wall. Matt stood up. "Have my seat." He smiled at the woman. She carefully made her way over to where Matt had sat.

"Thank you dear." Her face cracked into a smile, letting laughter lines spread across. Her eyes were tired and old, but they fitted her face. "Come stand by me Mathew."

Matt looked at her, but soon realised she was referring to the man. A golden ring on his withered hand indicated that they were married. "Stand up." Commanded Matt.

The youth looked up at Matt. "What?"

"Get up."

The kid looked at Matt, and put his hands into his tracksuit pockets. His trainers had neon laces and they looked like an expensive brand. "Why?" he asked.

"Because this man needs to sit down." Stated Matt.

"So?" the boys tone didn't please Matt.

"So you can move."

The boy stood up, his full height was at least a foot taller than Matt. Perhaps it was his age, but he wasn't intimidating. He put his hands on Matt's chest and shoved. "What's it your business? The guy can stand."

Matt didn't budge. "You do not speak to people like that. I bet your mother never taught you to show so little respect."

The boy laughed a harsh laugh that Matt had grown to recognise. "Don't have parents. Do we?"

"Nope." Spat one of the boys. Matt took in that there was seven of them.

The woman backed away to the end of the bench so she was barely sitting on it. She looked worried. The man used his stick for support. "Look lad," he tapped Matt's shoulder. "It's fine. I don't need to sit."

"See! The old guy don't need to sit." Pointed out the one who had been asked to move.

"Everyone has parents." Matt said.

The kid sighed. "Yeah well not as if we see them is it? Don't need freaks like you who think they're all that starting on us do we?"

"I don't like the way you're speaking."

"So? No one does. We're kids in care yeah. So we're disadvantaged. Never been taught stuff no? So why don't you go run off back to your rich daddy and mummy. The ones that taught you to be polite." The taller boy gave Matt another shove, he stumbled into the elderly woman.

Matt stood back up apologising to the woman. "You should be in school." He said. "At least you four." He gestured to the younger few.

"Listen dude." Said one boy, he looked very young. His face wasn't tired and still held the chubby boyishness cheeks that only young boys had. "You don't know nothin' about being in care right. It's who we are yeah? We ain't gonna become anythin' are we?"

"Yeah. We don't have parents." Echoed another.

"I grew up in care. Moving from home to home, then I ran away from an orphanage when I was fifteen. Never went back."

"You shoulda been in school." Pointed out the one who had been asked to move. He was now standing. "Look the dude can have the seat, alright?"

The man called Mathew thanked Matt. But Matt continued to talk to the boys. "You're not as thick as you look." He commented. "Hell yeah I should've been in school. But I wasn't, and I can't change it. But I made something of myself."

"It's what we're doing though isn't it?" asked the twelve year old.

"What is?" demanded Matt.

"Running away." Repeated the eldest.

"Then why are you hanging about in a bus stop doing nothing?" asked Matt.

"Don't know where we're going yet yeah." Shrugged one of the youths.

The elderly couple stood up as their bus pulled in. They had several bags of shopping with them, which Matt and the eldest boy helped to pack onto the bus. "You've run away then?" asked Matt.

The kids nodded. "Going to the cops on us or somethin'?"

"Where are you from?"

The boys shrugged. But the eldest spoke for them again. "Gonna report us?" he demanded.

"Depends." Matt smiled.

The eldest returned it. "You're a care kid right? Well we stick up for each other where we're from."

"I used that line a while ago. Didn't work then doesn't work now. But no, I'm not reporting you."

"Good." The kid gave him a crooked yellow teeth smile. "Phoenix."

Matt had never been good at geography. But he was sure it was quite far away, then again LA was very far from Winchester. "How long you've been gone?" he asked.

"Just over a year."

"What do you intend to do?" asked Matt.

"Dunno." The kid shrugged. "No change of getting jobs. Never was."

"Then what was the point running away without a plan?" demanded Matt. "That was stupid."

"Did you have a plan?" countered one boy. He smoothed his hair out.

"Yes. I was going to find my friend. He ran away before me."

"We was going to find Luke's brother. But Luke's brother didn't want us staying with him."

"Do you have any talents?" The kids shook their heads. "None at all?" asked Matt.

"Well Steve here's good with computers, cracks any code. Luke can build stuff. Aaron's good at logic stuff. You know? The rest of us, well we can do carrying and stuff."

Matt sighed. "I am going to regret this. But can I give you this address?" He recited it from the top of his head. It was a mafia contact that Mello had given him. They always needed messengers, besides better to have them catch up with the kids now than never. "Do you think you can remember that?"

"Nathan here's got a photographic memory!" Said Luke. Nathan smiled. Then blushed. "Doesn't talk a lot mind."

"Tell them that Mello sent you."

"Mello?" asked one of the kids. "That's a weird name."

"It's a code name duh." Pointed out Nathan.

"Oh." He hesitated. "Still weird."

"Yes." Laughed Matt. "You can get the bus to Bell with me, then change there. Understood?"

"Yes sir!" Shouted one of the kids. He pointed to a poster of Misa Amane on a bus that drove by. "That girl is fit." He commented.

"Yes she is." Agreed Matt.

"She'd never date someone like you!" Joked Luke.

Pete sighed. "I know."

When the bus finally pulled up Matt didn't board alone.


	10. Chapter 10

**AN: Thank you for all your reviews! It makes me feel loved! Anyway..here you go. Remember if I get three+ reviews, I update faster and more. This is a large chapter because I'm in a good mood. I'm meeting a friend tomorrow really looking forward..so I wrote a load! Anyway..review please!**

The bus journey was hell. Every time it stopped Matt wanted to scream, he knew that a bus would take longer than a car. But he also knew that Near was probably already there, waiting to meet him. Every now and then at the stops someone would get on, wandering casually along, Matt felt as if he were bouncing up and down with anxiety.

They got to the stop where the boys were going to change. "Thanks dude."

They patted his shoulder as they left. Matt knew Mello would be pissed because he'd recruited under his name, but Mello was already as far as the edge could go. So it didn't make much of a difference. Matt nodded to them, wishing the machine would move faster. At last they rolled lazily into Matt's stop.

He got off the bus, and the cold air hit him like a brick. He wished he'd worn something warmer. Meeting Near felt like meeting new foster parents. The anxiety, the wandering whether or not they'd like you. But Matt couldn't care less if Near liked him or not, it was just stupid. He felt Jose's phone vibrate in his pocket, as he walked around trying to find some kind of street sign

_Where the fuck are you?_ Was the question that had been sent. It came from a contact that was named Mello. He'd forgotten he still had Jose's phone. He didn't reply. Suddenly it started to vibrate again, an incoming call. From none other than Mello. He sent him to voice mail.

Matt had to walk around for quite a while, before he found the disorderly house that Near had asked him to come to. It was an ivory colour, very tidy. It didn't look like somewhere you'd rent a room. A long lawn led up to it, as if it was trying to be a big house but not quite succeeding. The flowers and grass were very tidy, and the porch had neatly trimmed ivy around it. Large iron gates protected it, along with the high hedges. Matt wasn't sure what he was supposed to do. Just go up and knock on the door? He supposed so.

But first he had to get past the gates. There was a buzzer, where you would ring for attention. And a tiny metal box, with numbers that Matt assumed you had to key in a correct order to gain entry. He looked at the box for a second, then pressed four single numbers. The gates beeped, then swung open. Matt smiled to himself as he walked up toward the door. There was a large black car already outside, with it's windows tinted. Matt was ninety eight percent certain it was Near's. It was barely ten o clock, but that didn't mean Near wouldn't be there.

He knocked on the door, three times. From inside the house he heard footsteps, and a speaker by the door buzzed. "Hello?" asked a voice, sickly sweet. So heavily accented, like the purring of a cat. Beautiful as if it belonged to a magnificent woman.

"Urm.." hesitated Matt. "I'm here to see Near." He finally managed.

"Well why didn't you say so darling?" demanded the voice. The buzzer buzzed off, and then the footsteps returned. There was a sliding of bolts, a click of a lock. And finally a woman answered the door. She wore a long velvety dress, with a slit up her thigh. She wasn't Matt's type, yet there was no denying she was attractive. Her hair was up in a bun, and it curled down around her ears in little wispy strands. It was obvious that she was middle aged, but she smiled. A cigarette was held loftily in her hand. But it didn't look like a habit simply a way to be even more attractive than ever. She inhaled and then exhaled blowing smoke into Matt's face. "Well?" she asked.

Matt noticed that she held the cigarette between two fingers like one would with a biro. "Wow." He gasped. Then realised he'd said it out loud.

"That's what they all say." Winked the woman. "You're here to see Near are you?"

Matt nodded. "Mhm." His eyes were still wide.

She leaned close to him, her chest so close that he was almost afraid of the v neck that her dress held. "Follow me then." She whispered in his ear. She grabbed his hand and led him inside.

Inside of the house was not so different to the outside, it looked clean and tidy. But smoke was everywhere, distant sophisticated smoke. A beaded curtain prevented one from being able to see into another room. Matt took a quick glance into one room as they passed it along the magnificent corridor and noticed that there was a pole there. A young woman stood by it, she was talking to another. "Ladies!" called the woman.

"Yeah Bella?" asked the darker skinned one. She dressed to emphasize her beauty, amazingly long legs were darkened by tights, but visible under the tightest shortest of miniskirts. Her top was long sleeved, and the neck was high, but it was incredibly close fitting. Long blonde hair was curled perfectly flowing, and her eyes were the most contrasting black.

"We have a show at two and again at five." Reminded Bella. "Where are the others?"

The other girl answered this. She looked exactly like the other, even though they were completely different. It was her beauty that made her similar. Her makeup was perfect, making her small eyes look bambi like. Lips were pouting the most perfect pout, she flicked a strand of red hair out of her green eyes. She smiled, and her teeth were a perfect white. Tight leather trousers outlined her legs making them appear even longer than they actually were. Her corset top was strapless and Matt was afraid that if she moved her breasts would fall out of it. "Candy's getting changed. Don't know about Kate, but the others are all ready."

"Good girls." Commented Bella, she continued walking through the labyrinth of a house. Matt hurried to keep up with her. "My name is Isabella by the way. How rude of me!"

"Matt." Matt gestured to himself.

A woman in tight denim jeans, with slits that were laced with ribbon hurried by. Her heels clicked on the corridor floor, Matt was amazed that she could see in the dark of the house. She held a tray of glasses. "Oh!" she said when she saw him, she smiled and licked her lips. Her cat like eyes flashed. "I didn't expect a customer this early in the day." She winked at him.

"He's not paying." Smiled Bella, for someone her age her smile was incredibly mischievous. "But if you're willing for free Sophia?"

"You've been keeping him for yourself." She winked, and stroked Matt's face. "Not a bad catch." She laughed at Matt's scared expression. "Don't worry darling. I'm a good girl." She wore a tie around her neck, and loosened it slightly.

"Behave." Scolded Bella mockingly. The girl nodded, and carried on walking. Finally they came to the room where Near sat.

Matt first saw him when he had entered the room, he hesitated in the door way but Bella crossed straight over to him. There was a cage in the middle of the room, but dragged in front of it was a chair. Purple curtains hung around the cage, and a hanging chair hung from the ceiling. Near sat, swinging back and forth. Two men stood behind him, dressed completely in black they blended into the background. Their arms were crossed behind their backs.

"Are you sure I can't interest you in a drink dear?" Bella asked Near in her most seductive voice. The boy didn't blush, or even smile. He simply shook his head. "Are you going to stay for the show?" she asked.

"I am not..interested in that kind of thing Isabella." He corrected. "Thank you for the offer."

"Anything darling." She smiled, and kissed his cheek leaning in so her breasts were a mere centimetre from his face. "I'll leave you boys alone now. Behave." She waggled her finger, before walking out of the room. Her walk was as seductive as the rest of her. She closed the door with a click after her.

Near nodded to Matt. "Please sit down Matt." Matt obliged, sitting in the hard uncomfortable chair. "I must warn you not to try anything. My men are armed."

"Wouldn't dream of it." Smiled Matt. "By the way you never told me we were meeting in a brothel." He shook his head.

"I didn't think it was important." Commented Near.

Matt sighed. There were lots of things Near didn't think were important. "Are you ok?" asked Matt, out of politeness more than anything.

"No." Replied Near casually. "Are you?"

"Nope." Matt shook his head, letting himself sink into the chair. "Why are you here Near?"

"To speak to you." Countered Near.

"But why?" demanded Matt. "Why do you want to talk to Mello?"

"Because you do." Matt knew Near liked puzzles, but it did help if he made sense sometimes.

"You're early." Commented Matt.

"I am always early." Elated Near. "You are too. Now, to business. I believe you have some questions for me?"

The presence of the security guards was awkward. Matt could feel their very essence hang in the air. "Can we talk alone?" he asked Near.

"Alone.." it sounded as if he were pondering the meaning of the word. "Oh..." He realised. "In private?" Matt nodded. Near seemed to deliberate for a second, curling a thin strand of thick white hair. It matched his pale skin, and the darkness of the room made him seem almost transparent. Like a ghost. "Ok. Please wait for me outside the door." He ordered the men.

"But sir!" Protested one. "He could be armed."

"I have no doubt he is." Assured Near. Smiling slightly in superiority.

"But.." Started the other.

"Trust me. If I die then you will still be paid." Suggested Near. "Please leave me now." He nodded to them gratefully.

"Mello." Said Matt once the men had gone.

"Mello." Echoed Near.

"How do you know his name?" demanded Matt. "He only told the people he trust the most."

"How do you know that he does not trust me?" Near frowned.

Matt paused, he hadn't considered this. "You hate each other."

Near felt a deep, unchangeable sadness. He hardly ever smiled anyway, and never stood up straight. But thinking about Mello's hatred brought an all new level of pain. When Mello had ran away, when he didn't even know if he was alive or not, Near had lost his appetite. He couldn't breath, or sleep. "Mello hates me. I do not hold such a feeling for Mello."

"What do you mean?" demanded Matt.

"There was a time, at Wammy's. When Mello was..when Mello was sad. His life held, no light. No sound. The only thing that accompanied him was darkness and empty rooms. He didn't do anything, didn't say anything." Near started.

"I remember." Matt spoke softly. "How bad was it?"

"I think you had left. You had a placement somewhere. If I am correct, which I usually am." Near sighed.

"Please tell me." Matt begged. Near paused, Matt cringed at the silence. "Please?"

"I don't think anyone at Wammy's ever felt so helpless. Mello did nothing. He just sat there, knees pressed against his chest, reading, writing. Doing anything. But it was obvious he just didn't want to be doing it. When you talked to him, his eyes fixated on nothingness. It was as if he saw nothing. But he didn't realise that any pain he felt was probably felt by the rest of us too. For a week he hardly ate or drink or even move. I think Watari was afraid we'd have a repeat of what happened to A."

"But he was fine after that right?"

"I'm not sure what snapped him out of it. He used to say it felt like part of him died. But then he started trying, really trying. He pushed straight into first place. And I'd always been a strange child. We were pushed to be friends by the likes of Watari. But I was never his friend. Even if I was always there, always there to talk to him. But he studied hard, barely speaking to anyone. And it worked for a while." Near trailed off.

"Then what?" prompted Matt.

"Then I was tested." Near shuddered. But it wasn't cold. "And I beat him. I didn't try, and I took his place. Mello saw it as theft of course. No matter what he hit, or threw, or destroyed he couldn't deny that I beat him. Every heart beat in his chest made him want to die. He was second, never first. After that he tried so hard, so very very hard. But he could never quite catch up."

"Do you blame him for hating you?"

Near shrugged. "I do not hold him to blame. But I see no reason for him to."

Matt swore. "Dude you took his place. He worked so hard for it. It was his only fucking purpose in life, and you stole it."

"I guess I did." Near's voice was soft. "But after that he saw no reason or purpose in life. Why should he bother trying if nothing was ever going to get better?" Asked Near. "And that changed to Why should I try if he's better? And then Why should I try? Then why should I even live..?"

"You mean-?" asked Matt.

Near nodded. "His thoughts, grew more and more morbid. He would shut himself away from everyone else. Even me. Wammy's had thought I was strange, with my prone to being inside. But Mello was worse. His time that used to be dedicated for studying turned to time where he thought about how useless he was."

"But he snapped out of it. When I came back he talked down to you, always seeing himself as ten times better. He knocked your towers down, messed your puzzles up."

"But I didn't react like he wanted me to. I don't think he ever told you the extent of his feelings."

"Too fucking right he didn't!" Swore Matt. "Why didn't he?"

"Ask him." Said Near. "But then one day, he decided it was enough."

"No." Matt shook his head. "I would have noticed."

"You were caught up with Linda. You didn't notice." Near assured. "You didn't notice him withdrawing from the group. But Watari did, and Watari talked to me. Perhaps it's because I'm number one."

"I'm not that fucking heartless." Shouted Matt. But he remained sitting. One of the guards stuck his head around the door.

"It's fine." Near said calmly. "My friend simply raised his voice."

"I'm not your friend Near." Spat Matt.

"Where you even Mello's?" asked Near. "The pain of being number two, after number one ate him. He failed every single day. It ate him inside, and I did nothing about it. But neither did you. The hole that it left behind was always ready to cave in, but since then he's patched it up. You being here just opened it up again. But Mello decided he was of no use anymore. He thought he knew it, and he thought everyone else knew too."

"He was in hospital." Remembered Matt. He stuttered slightly. "H-he said he was..just a routine thing..something to do with some illness his family had..but then he came back..he had that accident with the mirror..."

"Watari made the excuse for being hospitalised." Near informed Matt. "Mello took a long time deciding how to do it. Hanging, pills everything. In the end he decided that severing veins would be a good idea."

"Then-?" asked Matt.

"You walked in on him Matt. And even then you didn't realise what was happening." Near stated. He was so calm, so gentle. So damn perfect.

"He, he hadn't turned up to the lesson. He-he was skipping. Dodging." Matt spat. He frowned. "I-I walked into his room. The glass was shattered, all over the tiny bathroom floor. It was the bathroom all the boys shared. Mello was lying on the floor. I thought he'd just punched the mirror. Been angry, like he used to be."

"You were ignorant." Near said. His pale face seemed even paler than usual. The trade mark dark circles that Mello was starting to wear were forming around his eyes.

"The glass had broken. He-he...why?" asked Matt. "Why?"

"He used the glass, to cut his wrists. Ripping the fibbers of his flesh apart, raking the silver down his arm. Slashing vertically. Pain throbbing through him. And you. Didn't. Notice."

"I-How was I meant to know?" demanded Matt.

"Because you did similar."

"I never used a fucking mirror." Matt's face was etched with anger.

"You were his friend Matt." Near sounded like L. "But Mello has always been second. Second best, and second to try and kill himself. Second to you even." He paused. "Am I right?"

"I-I..no." Matt hated the way the younger boy could twist words for his advantage.

"He couldn't do it though. He kept trying, but then you walked in. Thought he'd punched a mirror. Something stupid. And you panicked, fetched Watari. Fetched the psychiatrist. And when he told you that it hurt, that it wouldn't stop, he didn't mean the cuts or the bleeding. But being a child you did not notice it, did you?"

"N-Near.." gasped Matt.

"Shall I continue?" asked Near. He continued. "I was there when he woke up. You weren't, because you did not know. You were ignorant, and innocent. But it made sense to me, and I suppose it did in a way to you. Mello had been angry for a long time, and as one would assume he decided to attack the mirror. (Which sounds like something he would do.) But when he woke up, he seemed refreshed. He didn't want to die anymore. He decided that he hated me. Because if I hadn't suggested going looking he wouldn't have been found. He would have won. But he didn't. He failed. He failed to end his own life."

Matt shut his eyes, imagining it. Then opened them again. "Mello.." he whispered.

"I am sorry. I never meant for it to happen." Near fiddled with his ears. "I talked to Mello. But he hated me. I do not dislike him, though I do not like him. Simply human life is precious. Supposedly."

The hatred that Mello held built up in Matt's chest again, but he pushed it back. "So that's why." He muttered to himself. "It's happening again." Matt groaned. "I don't understand." He put his head in his hand.

Near swung back and forth. "Matt.." He tried.

Matt shook his head. "No. He can't have. I..what do I do?"

"Nothing." Said Near, in a toneless voice.

"I can't do that." Matt said. "Does he really mean that little to you? You could at least pretend to care. He's worthless to you?"

Near shook his head. "He means..he means a lot to me. I..I was scared when I saw him like that.."

"How the fuck do you think I feel?" Accused Matt. He stood up, pushing himself forward. Near simply looked up at him. "I'm scared all the time. What happens if I go back, and find him hanging. You want me to stand by and do nothing?"

"Matt.." Near tried to put a hand on Matt's shoulder. But he ripped it away. "Matt! Listen to me." Near clenched the lock of his hair in his fist tightly. "Kira is more important at the moment."

"But.." Matt started.

"Don't worry. Mello can be a tad dramatic, but he won't kill himself. He wants to beat me too much." A bucket of ice water flooded over Matt's mind. He tried to find a word to say. But he couldn't. He heard a knock on the door. One of the men. "Yes?" asked Near.

"A call for you Near." A gruff voice said, it was accompanied by the taller man walking through the door, handing the phone to him.

"Thank you." Said Near. He picked up the phone. "This is N...I understand..Are you sure it was him?..Understood..My apologies..I have no control over him..He doesn't work for me..Thank you Mr President." He turned to Matt. "I have to go. It seems that your _friend_ has been busy."


	11. Chapter 11

When Matt got back to the hideout he had four angry voice messages from Mello. Apparently he knew that Matt had the phone. The first message was an angry one, telling him to get back to the hideout asap. The second one was nicely asking. The third was begging, telling him that he was needed. The fourth almost deafened him.

_"Mail Jeevas!"_ Screeched the voice of Mello from the phone. "_Don't dare send me to voice mail. Dammit how the fuck does this work? Can you even hear me? You better! I want you back here as soon as you listen to this. You had fucking hell better not have met Near. If that's true I am going to murder you myself you back stabbing freak of a traitor. Love you. Mello."_

He finally arrived back, and at the front door Mello stood as if he'd been waiting. "How'd you know I'd be back this time?" asked Matt, casually.

"I didn't." Commented Mello, folding his arms. The trousers he wore reminded Matt of one of the girls at the 'disorderly house'.

"Then how come you're out here? You like standing outside your hideout, just standing around. Casually. Letting anyone see you? Your security doesn't see that far, even then it'd take a while to reach the door."

"We have a new security system." Commented Mello. He spat on the dusty ground. "Come on, I need to talk to you." He pinned in a new code, that Matt didn't recognise. "By the way, I've had the code changed. You can probably work it out, but I don't want you in here anymore. I've found you a hotel in LA. Don't worry." He hesitated as he led Matt along the corridor. "I still want you working for me. I will...pay you."

"What do you mean?" demanded Matt.

"I'll explain later, first we have some developments." Mello spoke calmly, not looking into Matt's eyes. Or goggles even.

"Ok." Matt had to quicken his pace to catch up.

"By the way," Mello turned to Matt. "Those kids you sent Frank are a good catch. Misfits of a care home much?" He laughed a hollow laugh. Finally, through the dark concrete corridor they reached the living area. The corridor smelt damp and dusty. All but the sofas in the living area had been packed up.

"What happened here?" demanded Matt.

"We're moving to a ware house. We need somewhere new." Confirmed Mello.

"Why?" asked Matt.

"We've stayed here too long." Said Jose. He smiled at Matt, a cruel cold smile. "Can I have my phone back?" he asked icily.

Matt nodded. "Sure thing." He tossed the useless machine to the man holding his hands out. The others seemed to be talking to someone that Matt couldn't see. They were standing in a semi circle. The notebook of death sat on the sofa, as if it had been casually left lying around. "Mello what's going on?" demanded Matt again. He repeated the question, because he needed to know.

Mello flicked a piece of hair out of his eyes. He was confused, he couldn't feel. He couldn't even think. It was as if his soul had left him. He just didn't want to be there, just wanting to fall asleep. He just wasn't in the mood. "Matt we've met the Shinigami that owns this notebook. He's here now." He gestured to the notebook.

"Shinigami?" asked Matt. "Let me touch it."

He reached forward, but Mello stopped him. "No." He shook his head. "Matt this isn't your fight."

"But Mello-?"

"Mattie, we're moving on now. We need to get out of here, before something bad happens. We always move every few months. We have a new location, but I can't tell you the address. It's still near here though." He paused. "I've got some work for you."

"I need to be with you." The others turned to look at the two. "Mello I need you."

Mello shook his head. "Matt, I can't trust you. Not anymore. I'm sorry. You don't understand."

Matt shook his head. His jeans were damp from the rain, he saw his backpack on the floor, already packed. Mello was kicking him out. "Mello you're leaving me?" He stuttered at last.

"Don't be over dramatic." Scolded Mello. He frowned. "You're leaving me."

"You don't want to know me anymore?" Matt's eyes widened.

"Matt one of us needs to be alive to stop Kira." Mello spoke calmly. "Besides, these guys..." he gestured to the men chattering away behind him. "..have jobs. They're the mafia for Christ's sake. They don't stop just because of me, or you or Kira."

"You're the only reason they're alive!" Hissed Matt ferociously.

"They don't know that!" Spat Mello. He licked his lips.

"Give me a chance to explain." Begged Matt.

"You have five minutes." Mello's eyes were like a snakes.

"Fine." Matt dragged Mello out into the corridor.

"Be ready to rock in ten men!" called Mello. He shut the door behind them. "Right, five minutes."

"Mello..I-I.."

"Did you go and talk to Near?" demanded Mello.

"I-I'm sorry." Matt managed.

"Matt I trusted you. I trusted you. You're my best friend. Hell you're more than that. But you really don't love me do you?" he asked. Matt crushed Mello in a hug, almost breaking his ribs. Mello froze for a second, then smacked Matt directly in the jaw. "Matt you don't even care that it hurts me every time you touch me? That the hole in my chest.." he thumped his chest to prove it."..doesn't ever fill up, and each time you touch me it forces more and more emptiness into my mind? Do you not fucking care?"

"I-I..Mello I love you." Matt whispered out, rubbing his jaw. "When will that get into your head?"

Mello shook his head, pacing the corridor once more. He rubbed his head to. "No you don't. There's no reason for you to. And I don't want you to. I'm a bad person Mattie. I'm sorry I dragged you into this. Because now Kira is after both of us. If something happens you can't be with me." _Matt,_ Mello thought. _Why the hell did you agree to help me?_

"What does it take for me to prove to you, that I love you? If I'm anywhere I want to be with you." Matt promised.

Mello shook his head. "Do you realise how fucking insincere that sounds? You sound like something out of a chick flick. Seriously." His voice mocked. But he couldn't find it in his heart to insult him. He always wanted to insult Matt, he was always doing it. But now when Matt really did deserve insulting he couldn't do it. But who could blame Matt for doing what he did? He hated Mello, he knew it. That was why he was sneaking about behind his back. Matt really did hate him.

"Mello I'm sorry. But I think you need help." Matt's voice tore Mello from his trance. He stared at Matt for a short moment, then continued to pace. "Mello, I think you should get help."

"You hate me." Accused Mello. He tauntingly pulled his gun out, spinning it slowly on one finger. "You really do hate me."

"Mate, you're not right at the moment. I know Kira is important, he needs to be stopped. But people have to sleep, people have to live a little. Even Near takes breaks mate." Matt put his arm on Mello's shoulder. "Near told me what happened. Mate is that why you were speaking to the shrink?"

Mello shook the arm off. "It's none of your business." Why was Matt calling him mate? He kept saying it. Matt wasn't his friend, he only cared about stopping Kira. But that didn't matter, because with Matt not around, the only thing Mello would care about was stopping Kira. "Matt you're not my friend. You don't even like me like that. I'm another tool. You went to Near behind my back."

Matt shook his head. "Mello you honestly don't get it do you?" he demanded. "Mello I love you. I went to Near because he knows you. He knows you better than me."

"My worst enemy knows me better than you? Thanks." Nodded Mello curtly. "Matt I don't think you get it. I'm not your type of guy, you don't love me. Not even as a brother."

"Mello, this isn't you talking." Matt protested. "Life's just bad at the moment. Just stuff going on. If you were actually thinking straight you'd be fine."

"Matt I haven't been thinking straight for a long time." Corrected Mello. "I can't do this. When you're here it's like I'm distracted. I love you. But you don't love me."

Matt shook his head. "For fuck's sake." He slammed his fist into the wall. "Can't you get it into that head of yours that I love you? I went to Near, because I was worried. He told me everything. He told me about what happened. What really happened. Mello you need help."

Now Mello walked towards Matt, with slow deliberate paces. Matt was scared now, Mello could see the pupils through the tinted lenses moving in the tiniest amount. "Why don't I shove Prozac down my neck and get done with it. It doesn't fucking work Matt! It's never worked!"

"Mello I can't live without you. I love you, I'd die for you." Matt swore, he promised. As if it was an oath that his life depended on, and in some ways it did. He was scared now. Very scared.

"You're lying!" Screeched Mello. He pushed Matt back onto the wall. So that he all but lay on top of him. "I'm a fucking monster Matt! I hurt everyone I meet. I'm a time bomb." He shook his head, pushing himself away from him. "Do you know how hard it is not to kiss you right now? How hard it is to pretend that I don't linger on every single word you say? Each and every time you mention one of your exes, and how stupid they were, I wish I was that person. Because at least you loved them for a while."

Matt protested. "Then kiss me. Baiser moi. I want you to kiss me. I want you to love me. Mello I love you. I love you more than anything. Mello I'm worried about you. I know what you've been through, I lived through it too. I know how you feel."

"No you fucking don't."

"Yes I do." Matt sighed. "Mello life is shit. But it doesn't get any better. At least, with you in it I can still smile. Mello I love you."

"You just don't want me killing myself." Swore Mello. "You don't know how long this has been happening. Ever since I realised that I loved you, ever since I realised that you didn't love me. I'm standing by that edge, and I'm ready to jump. I'm hanging by a thread, that won't break and no one wants to save me. This gun is by my head, and I'm ready to pull the trigger. Matt you're the reason I live, and you're the reason I'm going to die. Because I'd die for you, but you won't die for me. Let me get a bite out of Kira's ego first."

Matt protested. "I'm your best friend."

"Yes." Sighed Mello. "But nothing more."

"I want to be more." Mat said.

Mello shook his head, and a tiny lock of blonde hair fell into his eyes. Matt pushed it away. "No you don't. Matt I need to go now, it was nice of you to work for me. Your efforts will be commended. The only way to bring down Kira is to die, I'm almost sure of this. But you made Linda a promise. You're going back in one piece."

Matt slept badly for the first time in a week. He'd had weeks on the run, and now finally he had found Mello. To mess it up again. And for the first time in a while Mello went to bed alone. Truly alone, not just in his mind.

"..I abandon myself into your hands; do with me what you will. Whatever you may do, I thank you: I am ready.." Mello pushed a tear away from the corner of his eye. Finally he finished the prayer. "Let him forgive me." He begged. "Please let him forgive me..."


	12. Chapter 12

Mello could hear ringing. In his ears, and in his mind. It echoed, like church bells. Like school bells. Almost like the bells of Wammy's house. He paced the new base, watching several monitors at once. It was a job Matt should have been doing, but Matt couldn't multi task in two locations. Even if he was capable of doing so in one. They monitors always made him dizzy, but lately they were just ten times worse. He always felt dizzy, disorientated. Slightly queasy, as if he were going to throw up. The feeling he felt constantly around Matt, but this was different. This was bad.

A train rumbled by in the darkness, causing the whole place to shake. But everywhere was shaking these days, and everywhere was dark. Trains in LA ran almost on schedule, constantly. Unlike the trains in Winchester. They'd run when the drivers had finished a cup of tea and a biscuit. Not that he could stereotype, that would be wrong. But in this country the trains ran almost on schedule, like the bells at Wammy's. Almost right, but not quite. As the trains ran back and forth they ran in time with the bells. But like the bells they didn't know how much they could hurt you.

The trains were almost always on time. Mello had learnt that quickly. It would be so easy to let them rip him apart, tearing his body into pieces. He put his head in his hands. It hurt to think about it. The squealing of wheels on a track, the screech of breaks. It would be so easy to step in front of them. And the Mafia, they'd watch his body being torn to shreds, they'd be amused. Or maybe disgusted? Probably a mixture of both. And slowly they'd forget about him, raids and missions would carry on as usual. But they'd forget about some blonde kid who'd shown up for a while saved their butts for a while then disappeared. Or died.

People died all the time. It wasn't something strange. He ran a pale hand through his hair, and wondered what the fuck he was going to do. Matt had finally left him. They'd dropped Matt off at the hotel and he hadn't even looked back at Mello. He really didn't care. Mello was glad. Matt had always been his best friend, but some things needed to be stronger than that. Mello loved Matt, and Matt said that he loved him back. But why should Mello believe him? What was the point?

Mello didn't like being over emotional, but he ended up doing it a lot. But he knew the difference between reality, and a dream world. The fine line between real and fake was something he not only knew, he worshiped. He knew that the only sound was the trains and the men talking, he knew that there were no bells. There never had been any bells, but ever since he'd left Wammy's. Ever since Watari and L's death he heard them. There were never any bells near, and he assumed he was either hearing things or it was a simple build up of fluid in his ears. But he was always hearing things, and these included the bells.

It didn't matter, because he could explain them well if he wanted to. But it wasn't as if he was about to go and tell Matt or one of the men that he was hearing things. They already thought he was mad, didn't need to give them yet another excuse. Mello laid back, and indulged in the hallucination. Closing his eyes he turned slowly in his place, listening to the ringing. The slow ringing that existed in his imagination, and his alone. It was as if they existed in the past, maybe that's why he kept imagining them. In the past, yes that would be a good excuse. A good explanation. He counted the bells now, but he couldn't keep count properly. He kept repeating himself.

There had been plenty of ringing bells. The bells of Wammy's house, and the other bells. He couldn't remember exactly what had happened, but he remembered the dreadful bells that signified when he last saw his parents. His parents friends had carried the boxes, down past Mello. And Mello hadn't cried, he'd been clutching the hand of a friendly woman. His social worker. She had assured him everything was going to be alright. But the bells had rung seven times, to signify the seven days of creation. The first was light, but the last was rest. And that meant that his parents were being laid to rest. Forever.

The day his parents had died, there had been bells. Dreadful church bells. His parents had always lived close to a church. But when he was told, there were those horrible bells. Bells that kept following him everywhere. They just wouldn't leave him alone. But he couldn't make any image out, and he knew the symptoms of post traumatic stress disorder. It wasn't that. The church bells had run at Mason's funeral too. And at Watari's, and at L's. Not that he'd actually been there. He'd watched from afar. He was so tired now. So very very tired. But he needed to stay awake to remember the bells. He never heard the bells when he slept, only in his nightmares.

He focused on the bells once more, remembering himself as a child holding Watari's hand. He'd been wrapped up in a dark duffel coat, and his Sunday best trousers and shoes. He'd been clutching the man's old wrinkled hand so tight. He'd been so very scared, and the towering gate that he'd been led towards. He felt like a lamb to slaughter. As if he was being taken away from everything he'd ever known. The gate of Wammy's house had separated him from the world. He wished he'd asked L or Watari at the time. Perhaps the bells had just been in his mind once more. The bells that were so very sad.

No! Mello didn't want to remember them. He didn't want to remember facts. He wanted to lay back and sleep, but still listening to the bells. The lovely dreadful bells. Slow and melancholy, seeming to make his body shake. They drowned out almost everything if he let them. Like white noise. He could drown everything out, the Mafia, Matt, the Death Note. Kira even. Listening to the bells got rid of Kira. It got rid of L and Near. It covered the fact that he had been betrayed by so many people. But he hated listening to the bells and knowing that no one else in the world would ever and had ever heard them. This would be why he had never gone to Watari about it, the man would have sooner have him hospitalised than finding some rational solution.

Mello wondered what time it was, it could be hours later or not. Because the bells always drowned out time. This time there was something else, that the bells couldn't drown out. He recognised L's eyes curious and kind of sad. Mello didn't want to look L in the eye, he was purely ashamed of himself. He wanted to stay with the bells, he didn't want to look at L. Not L. And even though he knew that neither existed he didn't want to admit it.

"_Mello kun, look at me."_ Whispered the hallucination.

Mello lifted his head from the bed, eyes foggy and muscles unusually sore and stiff. His throat was dry, and he didn't want to speak. Not that he would need to. His blonde hair dropped into his eyes and he looked around him. He shared the room with an angel. But it wasn't the redheaded angel, it was a dark tired angel.

"_Mihael Keehl!" _Ordered the voice. "_You will open your eyes properly and you will look at me."_

Mello shook his head. "Go away!" he shouted. "Leave me alone!"

"_Mello kun knows perfectly well that I won't do that." _Stated the detective. He folded his arms. His voice was a sick sweet sound, and Mello was sure this was a hallucination. L had never spoken like that alive.

"You're dead." Accused Mello. His eyes stung. Finally he let them open fully, and stared at the detective. The dark circles under his eyes were ever prominent. "You're in my mind and I'm hallucinating. You're not _real."_

L shook his head. "_Correct Mello. To some extent."_ He paused. "_I am dead. I am also in your mind, and I am ninety eight percent sure that you are hallucinating. However that does not prove that I am not real."_

"If you're in my head then I'm making you happen." Stated Mello, shaking his head. "You're too perfect. Too like Near."

The hallucination smiled a cruel smile. It's face twisted, until it's eyes were empty sockets. Blood seeped from the corners, and then it's hair turned white. It's eyes were there once more. "Hello _Mello._" Smiled the hallucination of Near.

"Leave me alone!" Mello commanded. Afraid to raise his voice. He wasn't talking to Near, even if he was just a figment of his imagination.

_"Why, does it scare little Mello?"_ asked the hallucination. It shrieked in laughter, as it's distorted face changed again. Now it had dark raven like hair again, and milky skin. But it was covered in burns. "_This isn't how I look. You know that right Mello? It's just how you think a burnt victim should look."_

"I want L back." Said Mello like a sulking child.

The hallucination laughed. And slowly L returned. "_I'm an angel Mello_."

"No you're not." Said Mello. "You can't be. Angels..angels have wings..angels they're the most beautiful creatures alive..angels..you can't see them with human eyes..they scare you..angels..angels are god's messengers."

"_And how do you know that I am not an angel?_" asked the hallucination.

"Because I-I..." Started Mello.

"_You know that angels come in many form."_ Commented the angel. "_Doubting me will only lead to misery. Mello do not be afraid._"

"I-I'm not afraid." Mello said.

"_I'm your angel. In your mind. I know that you're afraid." _The face was still L's, or what Mello thought L looked like.

"Why would an angel visit me?" demanded Mello. "I'm evil. I've betrayed everything good I've been given. Mason, Matt. L Watari, and now the Kira investigation. I'm messing it up. I don't deserve to live.." he sobbed.

"_You've done bad things."_ Admitted the hallucination. "_We've done bad things. But we can't take them back now."_

_"_Why not?" asked Mello. He turned so that he didn't have to look at the hallucination. But the creature reappeared in front of him. It's long dainty finger nails traced his neckline.

"_Because what's done is done Mello. We can't take it back. Matt hates us, and Matt always will. But that saves his life."_ The hallucination assured.

"What?" asked Mello, he looked up. "What do you mean? Matt-Matt's not going to die?" He smiled. "Thank you! Thank you Lord!" He screamed, pounding the wall. "Thank you!"

_"Good. Because Matt doesn't love us anymore. But we love him. As long as he doesn't love us. He's safe."_ It smiled.

"It's..it's better than nothing." Admitted Mello. "Where are you going?" he demanded.

_"Nowhere." _Said the voice. "_I was never here to start with."_


	13. Chapter 13

**AN: This chapter really sucks..sorry. But I wanted these for later, and you need this meeting to understand. Besides, a soon update was wanted, so for once it was given.**

Mello had arranged a meeting for Matt with an FBI agent in the psychology department. Apparently he was a good one, but Mello didn't know his name. But the meeting was important, because Mello needed information given to the agent, and the agent had information for him. Mello had text Matt ten minutes earlier. Saying it was urgent, he was now ten minutes late because he'd spent ten minutes finding his shoes. He didn't think Mello would appreciate him meeting an important person without shoes on.

He understood why Mello had text him instead of phoning. But he would have liked a phone call better. When the Mafia had dropped him off, Mello had handed him a cell phone. Something to keep in contact, and Matt had spent a day and a half downloading secret information onto it. It was easier than carrying his computer around with him. But now little microchips were attached to it, with wires sticking out in random like directions.

He strolled down the corridor, casually. Whoever that was so important could wait for him. He wasn't rushing anywhere, especially not if that person wasn't Mello. Who would be so important to want his attention at..he checked his watch..one in the afternoon? A mad person, that's who. He wondered why the person was staying in the hotel, probably a reason that Mello had organised. Meeting in the hotel was easier than not, that way he had less to actually walk. How far was it from room 074 to 257? Exactly.

He took the stairs, and ran a hand through his hair as he walked. He looked presentable..ish. Pulling his goggles tight to his face he checked his reflection in the mirror. Trying not to think of Mello and failing miserably. Finally he reached the right floor, and headed along a corridor. He knocked on the pale crème door half heartedly. Then without waiting for an answer he ambled in.

Behind a desk sat three people. Two women and a man. The blond woman looked elegant, even though only her upper half was visible. She smiled, and laughed slightly as he stared at her. The dark haired girl beside her looked intelligent even in the shadow of the blonde's beauty. The man looked grim, but barely out of his twenties, he had the same familiar dark hair as ever. Two security guards stood beside the door, they barred his entry.

"Nothing personal Matt." Said the blonde, as the taller broader security guard started to pat him down. He found nothing but a packet of cigarettes a phone and a gun. He started to pull them away, but Matt stopped him.

"I think I'd like to keep them." He said nicely. Smiling in an innocent sort of way.

Linda laughed again. "I think, it would be best if you put them to one side Andrew." She addressed the guard. "Thank you. As I said Matt, nothing personal. But you see, when you are in our situation as it could be said, we must be careful."

"Long time no see Linds." Said Matt. "Sara, and Rhys am I right?" he asked.

"Mr and Mrs Smith to you, but Sara's still looking, aren't cha?" joked Linda.

"You and Rhys are-?" asked Matt incredulously.

"Ever since last year. After Linda's birthday." Confirmed Rhys. "Eighteen years old, and Roger gave her away." He smiled, giving her a kiss on the lips. "We wanted you to do it, and Mello as best man. But you were off the grid at the time. Still we had Sara as maid of honour."

"I would think, that after being summoned here you would have come on time." Linda said, in the air of someone who knew more than him.

"I would think, that after knowing me so long, you would have summoned me earlier." Notified Matt. He flicked a piece of red hair out of his eye.

"I thought you'd want to meet us again." Said Sara. "We were friends."

"Mello didn't tell me who I was meeting." Informed Matt.

"Really?" asked Rhys. "He didn't bother telling us who he was sending. Said he'd send his hacker, we never thought it was you."

"Hrm." Matt sighed. "So Linda, what can I do for you?"

"You're not here to see me." Winked Linda. "Rhys is the FBI agent, aren't you darling?"

Rhys nodded. "My Linda here's an artist through and through."

Linda sighed. "Not a good one."

"The best." Scolded Rhys, giving her a gently kiss on the neck. "So where's Mello?" he asked.

"I-I don't know." Admitted Matt. "I'm here in his place. So why are you here?" he directed the rude question to Sara.

"I-I'm here to back up Linda. We were meeting anyway, but then when I heard Mello would be here. Not that I didn't mind seeing you!" she finished.

Matt nodded. "So what are you up to then?" He slouched down in the chair.

"I'm a Doctor, and I did a degree in psychology." She said, slowly. Matt liked the way she tied her hair back now, instead of hiding behind it. She had the same looks as she had when she was younger but she looked more mature now. As if she'd grown up and embraced her looks. She really did look pretty.

"Well what was I called down here for?" demanded Matt.

"Here." Rhys slid a folder across the table. "Mello needs to know that the SPK are planning a raid, if he wants to do something to stop that. Also, there's a less important drug raid happening. They think Mello has connections with the Police so he needs to be able to warn the rest of the Mafia."

Matt flicked through it, not even glancing at some of the contents. They looked about right, some of the codes made sense. Some didn't. "Right." He patted them. "I'll make sure Mello gets these." He choked slightly on Mello's name.

"Is there something wrong Matt?" asked Sara pausing slightly. "Is Mello ok?"

"Wha-?" asked Matt. "Yeah, Mello. He's..Mello's good." He ran a hand through his hair.

"So, Mr Smith!" He gestured to Rhys, in fake happiness. "Right yer..Mr Smith..hrmph! Do you want my information or what?"

"It would help now wouldn't it." Rhys pointed out.

Matt laughed. "Heck yeah it would." He placed his cigarette in his mouth, but didn't light it. "Anyone got a lighter?" he asked.

Rhys shook his head, but Linda nodded. She tossed him an ornamental lighter. "It's yours." She smiled.

"You shouldn't smoke around Linda." Scolded Rhys.

"What do you mean? You don't mind do you Linds?" asked Matt. He hated being corrected by Rhys.

"I-I..I'm just going to pop out for a while. Alright?" she asked, and as she stood up Sara stood with her. She looked painful when she looked at Matt, but he noticed that the skin was tight and streched taunt over a bump on her stomach. She held her hands around it, cradling like she would the baby within.

"Sure thing Linds." Rhys said. He stood to go with her, but she shook her head.

"I'll leave you and Matt alone to chat. Sara and the guards will come with me." She smiled, leaning down to give him a kiss on the lips. He blushed slightly, and held onto her hand before letting it go.

"What the hell does Mello think he's playing at sending you here?" demanded Rhys.

"What the fuck?" asked Matt.

"You know full well what I mean. When you two fucked off together, you and Linda. You were close."

"Hell yeah, but we were nothing but friends." Corrected Matt.

"Exactly. So I don't know exactly what you think you're doing turning up again out of the blue. But when Mello left she hurt a lot. Sara and I and you both saw that. But you, you gave her false hope."

"She knew we were just friends." Said Matt slowly. He blinked slightly, wishing he could just leave.

"Like fuck she did." Shouted Rhys. His eyes flashed furiously. "When you left she was depressed, but me and her. We had something better than that. You are not messing that up for us."

"I-I would never. You know I don't love Linda like that." Said Matt. "She's like my little sister."

"She better be." Scowled Rhys. "Mello was my best friend. But you and Mello you're more than that?"

"Not anymore."

"Linda is my wife. You leave her alone, understand? I don't care if it's just like a friend. You hurt her so much when you left. You know on our wedding day she actually cried because you weren't there. Not because you weren't the man beside her, but because Roger gave her away. Not you. She wanted you to give her away. To give her to me. We're friends, but I will never forgive you for what you did to her."

Matt shook his head. "Man that was never intended. I never meant to do that."

"Good." Said Rhys. "I love her so much." He sat down, his head in his hands. "I can't lose her. She's four months pregnant. My baby's inside her, four months old. And do you know what she wants to call him if he's a boy? Matt. You mean that much to her."

"Wow." Said Matt. "A baby."

"All I'm saying is you're not hurting her any more than you already have. Understand?" Demanded Rhys.

"I understand." Admitted Matt.

"Good, because if you or Mello get yourself killed before this baby has it's head wetted I will personally murder you."

"You do realise that makes no sense." Commented Matt.

Rhys smirked. "Good seeing you again."

Matt leaned over, embracing Rhys in a hug. "Same."

"Now I think you should leave. And please, look after Mello. Promise me that? Because I think Linda will kill someone if anything happens to either of you."

"Understood."

"Matt?" asked Rhys as Matt reached the door.

"What?" demanded Matt.

"Remember your gun." Rhys nodded to the weapon.

"Thanks." Smiled Matt.

"And good luck." He added, choking on the words.

"Same to you mate." I'm going to need it, he thought, as he walked from the room.


	14. Chapter 14

Matt had faxed the information to Mello. But he hadn't bothered to include any details of the meeting. Mello felt nothing and everything all at the same time. He should have known, that everything had been in front of him all along. Hanging by such a delicate lace that it would snap at any moment. Glaring him in the face like a mirror. It had been screaming at him for attention more than the thoughts in his head were.

Mello hated being dependent on others. It made him weak. He hated it, but he'd always needed someone to talk to. He always had, and always would. Even though he hated it, and cursed it and everything that came with it. He just couldn't stand depending on other people. It hurt, every single second of it. And the little good that trust of life brought, was never worth the pain that always fucking followed.

Mello had remember his parents death vividly. He remembered himself that night, and blaming himself every single time he thought of it. He still did. If he hadn't been crying, if he hadn't winged. If he hadn't told them to go away, if he hadn't cried. But there was nothing he could have done to stop it happening. If only he had known earlier he wouldn't have shouted at them.

And then he came to Wammy's house. He was sent there when some man had found him. Watari met him, and walked him there. To the sound of those dreadful bells. Always. The bells that echoed in his mind. Now he wished they would stop. He was trying to concentrate, trying to work. If they would just stop for a second he would be able to do it. He'd be able to work out what the hell they were going to do next. Because he'd kidnapped the Yagami bitch, and the girl's father and brother were both cops. Or at least ex ones. Both working on the Kira case none the less.

Wammy's had been very good to him. Like a high before a low. The silence before a storm. They had been lovely, they really had. Linda and her bubbly noise. Never ever sad, even if it was a sad occasion. And Sara always rational. Then there was the idiot Nate River. Mello didn't know why he didn't just write the name in the death note that instance. But that would be cheating. If you were going to kill someone you had to do it properly. But yes, Wammy's had been very good to him. Until Nate River had turned up.

Matt had been his best friend. And he hadn't posed a threat to him until the idiot Near had scored higher than him on a stupid entrance exam. But it didn't matter, not just a one off. One offs could happen to anyone. But then Near had gone and scored higher over and over again. Week after miserable week. Month after month, which turned to year after year. It was as if he did it to spite him.

And Mello had found his only interest in beating Near. While Matt had still been his best friend, he drifted away like a third wheel. He was number three, and settled down to be a third wheel. But he fitted in fine with Linda and the others. It was only Mello who had strived to beat Near. But then Mello had realised that he never would beat Near. The events of that day had not been spoken of by Mello. And he never intended to do so.

But so soon after that, after Mason had died. After everything Mello had been through, his hero died because a bored student got his hands on a killing note book. It was stupid, utterly ridiculous, but something so stupid had killed L. And that scared Mello. Kira caused L's death, something that could kill one of the greatest men alive was truly terrifying. And ever since L died, the bells became louder and louder.

He'd heard the bells when Roger informed them of the deaths. And Near hadn't even cared. He hadn't even looked up from his puzzle. It was as if he didn't care that L was dead. That Watari the man who had raised them was dead. Roger had suggested they could work as a team. But that would never happen. Mello hated Near with every inch of his soul, that now he assumed he no longer had. It hadn't been tinted with murder and violence then. But now it was twisted and warped and stained. There was no way he was going to heaven. Not now.

And Mello had told Matt to stay where he was. And Matt had listened, but after a while he'd come after him. Had Mello ever expected him to stay away so long? Mello shook his head, he didn't think he had. Mello wanted a lot of things when he first ran away. But the strongest was to beat Near, and to avenge the panda eyes detective that he loved.

He'd had the best times of his life when he'd first had to fend for himself. He'd been on the streets but he'd met people. It had been amazing. He'd run from anyone who came near him, and finally found what he wanted. Fending for himself was easy when he knew what he was doing. Found drugs, abuse, more drugs, pain and even more drugs. Decided a nearly deadly overdose was in order, that part had never been a good idea. But finally he'd found the mafia, and slowly began climbing through their ranks. He'd even managed to install a good security system for the base, before Matt had turned up.

But by now he was leading the mafia. Hell yeah, he'd made something of himself. But whoever had said death never hurt had lied. He swallowed another tablet, just for good measure. He swallowed another. And then another. His body started to feel heavy. But he shouldn't really be feeling heavy at all. He started to move slightly holding his head in a groggy fashion. He dragged the blade he had prepared along his arm once more, smiling slightly. He could hear someone talking, it sounded like Matt. Probably because Matt was the only person who could intrude on his thoughts. But Matt never had needed him, besides he'd prepared paper work to be sent to the others at Wammy's. The final plan to bring down Kira.

He shut his eyes carefully, laying back. It was weird how things seemed to be around him even though there was just darkness. He kept telling himself it was another hallucination, but he felt as if he couldn't believe himself. The ringing had left now, and it felt like someone was shaking him. Screaming at him. Pressing something warm to his forehead. And now someone was pressing something on his arm, where the cut was. There was a sharp pain, as if someone was sowing into his skin.

Slowly his mind seemed to become more and more aware. Active almost, as if a haze of mist and clouds was lifting through his thoughts. Allowing him to register pain, the worst hangover ever. Or something that felt like it. His chest heaved as he tried to breathe, causing his arms to twitch. They ached, like they hadn't been used in days. He wasn't sure whether he should be glad that someone was caring for him even in death, or miserable that someone was stopping him from leaving. He tried to concentrate all his energy on opening his very heavy eyes.

Nothing happened, but after trying twice he managed a third time to find emerald eyes staring down at him. He blinked as everything appeared in blear big shapes. Nothing held a real form. It shifted shapes like a citadel built on sand. His blue eyes struggled to focus in the dim light. Eventually making out one incredibly familiar figure sitting beside him.

"Swallow this." Commanded Sara.

"M-Matt?" gasped Mello. He swallowed and realised how weak and raspy his voice sounded out loud.

"Who the hell else would it be?" demanded Matt.

"Why am I awake?" asked Mello. "I'm not awake am I. I'm in heaven. I never thought I'd get here." He smiled and tried to sit up.

"He's a bit..off." Explained Sara. "The anaesthetic I gave him is wearing off. I shouldn't even be here." She gestured to the room that she'd set up. The bedroom had been converted into a mini hospital.

"I couldn't take him to the local hospital could I?" asked Matt.

"I understand." Admitted Sara.

"It hurts." Mello complained, coughing.

"Try to relax alright?" asked Sara. "I need to get out of here, before they notice I'm missing." She turned to Mello. "Mells you're my friend, but I'd love to see you on a better way next time. Under different circumstances." She turned once more as she reached the door. "By the way, Matt's been at your bedside for the past week. He's only left for five minutes at a time. It was hard to even get him to eat while here."

"You're an angel." Muttered Mello, trying to run his fingers through Matt's hair.

Matt nodded to Sara. "Yes Mello." He finally said. "I'm an angel."

The mafia leader sighed, pushing himself up and hugging Matt in a tight embrace. "I'm sorry Matt. I'm so sorry."

"What for?" asked Matt weakly.

"I-I..I'm sorry. For doing this..I'm so sorry."

"Don't be. You're delusional." Corrected Matt, smiling. "I nearly lost you Mells. And I'm not letting that happen again."

Without thinking Mello pulled himself up, and pressed his lips softly to those of his nicotine addict friend, in a loving but short kiss. He wished it had lasted longer, but his body gave up with such quick movement, and he realised what he was doing. He looked at Matt, but Matt didn't look angry. Instead he looked sad.

"Why did you do that?" he asked quietly. Mello was about to reply, but he felt sleep begging him to join it.

"I'm sorry..." echoed Mello. Matt kissed Mello stopping him from finishing the sentence. "Why the hell did you do that?" demanded Mello.

"Because I'm your broken angel." Replied Matt. "I love you Mihael." Matt whispered as Mello closed his eyes. "..**Lord ease their pain. Give them hope. Give them comfort. Give them guidance. Help them heal.."**

Matt had never been a religious person, but as he spoke the prayer for Mello he felt that someone or something was watching him, and smiling. Mello fell asleep in happiness, he was in heaven with his angel. He didn't care if his wings were broken.


	15. Chapter 15

**Authors Note: To iatethecookie I have read of Mice and Men and I too got really emotional. However I did agree with what George did. I think it was much kinder than what could have happened. Lenny was just too kind, too good and too simple. ILuvYa44 Mello over dosed. He wakes up and knows he should be dead, Sara (Dr) saved him. Now he's taking drugs for depression, but he still hasn't told anyone about hallucinating. Plus he thinks Matt's an angel. Sorry for such a short chapter..but it'll be better!**

Mello paced the room. He knew that there were people outside. People with things that sure did look like big guns. Their faces were masked, so it wasn't as if anyone was capable of writing their names in the notebook. He shivered. "Right, guys we know what we're doing don't we?" he demanded.

"Sit tight and they'll go away." Joked one.

"Pretty much." Agreed Mello. "We can hold them out. If they storm we run. It's not worth it."

No one had ever seen Mello this, relaxed. He didn't seem angry, or happy. Just cool. Like he was high or something. He brushed a bit of hair from his eyes, which promptly fell back. He puffed it away, then smiled. Then frowned as if he were testing the capability of his face. He flipped open his phone. "Matt?" he demanded.

"Who else?" asked Matt. "When are you getting to the new apartment?"

"When we get out of here." Replied Mello. "We're surrounded. That's why I told you to get out of here."

"You're an idiot. You do realise that don't you?"

"Of course." Answered Mello. "Shit, it looks like they're ready to get in. I need to go."

"Mello?" asked Matt.

"Yeah?"

"Good luck.."

"And?" Mello demanded, he was shaking from adrenalin.

"I love you." Matt's voice was quiet.

"Same to you." Answered Mello. Suddenly the mafia members started dropping. Like flies, they fell. And then the gunshots started.

"Mello?" shouted Matt. "Mello are you ok?"

Mello dropped the phone. "Roy, Skyer come on. Jose grab the notebook. We need to get out of here."

"Shit." Swore Jose. He stuck his head around the door of one room. All the men in that room were dead.

"We need to get out of here." Commanded Mello. He grabbed his mask, and threw it over his face. It covered most of his face catching his dirty hair in it's straps.

"Agreed." Called Jose.

A gun shot was heard, and Mello could hear the sound of feet. Heavily clad feet, with heavy shields carried above them. He recognised the noise. He'd heard it hundreds of times before when he'd stormed somewhere. Except this time he wasn't the uninvited guest.

"We know you're in there." He heard a voice call.

It was a stupid thing to say. Because if they thought the place was abandoned then they wouldn't have such high level protection. Mello sprinted to where he knew he'd be safe. He felt his head pounding. He saw out of the corner of his eye, Roy being handcuffed by a buff man. His hands behind his back. He could see almost everything from where he stood, and he knew he would hear people coming. He saw the men, like ants running in all directions. Trying to find their honey.

"In here." He suggested to Jose. The man nodded. There was a dead body on the floor of the room. His hands were on his chest, as if he'd been trying to pull his heart out. "It's Jordan."

"Oh god." Whispered Jose.

"Yep." Replied Mello.

"We're stuck."

"We can get out."

"How?" demanded Jose.

"I have my methods. Trust me." He pulled the mask up, so that he could breathe the fresh air.

Jose fell to the floor. Not dead, not in pain. Simply sagging. "I thought we were safe when we were with you."

"We are." Replied Mello.

"It's because they knew their names." Jose figured correctly. "I never told anyone my name."

"Wish I could say the same." Answered Mello. He felt a bead of sweat run down his neck. "I can hear footsteps." He stood in the centre of the room. Jose cowered on the floor, his hand clutching his gun.

The old man entered the room. He reminded Mello of Watari. He looked like someone's father. It was true, that the laugh lines and worry lines across his face proved it. He held the gun in one hand, and the notebook in another. "You're name." His hand shook. "Is Mihael Keehl."

"How the fuck do you know that?" demanded Mello.

"I can see it." Answered Sochiro calmly. Mello shook his head, still holding the gun. The man was the Yagami girl's father. And when you hurt the offspring the parent came looking. It was always the way in nature. "Put down the gun."

"No." Answered Mello. He felt like he was defying Watari or a school teacher.

"I do not want to hurt you." Commented Sochiro. "However I will have to use this notebook if you do not put the gun" down." He paused. "No one wants to hurt you Mihael.."

Mello gasped, how dare the man use his name. How dare he? Names were something that only trusted people could use. He readied the gun to shoot, he trusted his shot. "Mr Yagami the same is said for you."

"I have warned you." Sochiro started to write the name. Jose pulled the trigger.

A deafening shot echoed through the room. Mello stood frozen to the spot. Then he rushed forward, trying to drag the notebook out of his hand. He couldn't do it. Suddenly footsteps echoed on the metal stairs. Jose sighed.

"They're coming." He said.

"Come on then." Mello ordered.

"I'm staying."

"Jose-" protested Mello.

"No. All of my friends are dead Mello. And besides it's not Jose. It's James Linn." Said Jose, or James.

"Thanks." Said Mello. "Nice knowing you James."

"Same Mihael." Jose stood, and Mello noticed there was a cut on his leg. It looked as if a bullet had grazed it.

He started to run, as he heard the men approaching. There were gun shots, and then more gun shots. He didn't bother to look back. Because he could make a good guess at who had been hurt. He started to sprint, and pulled the mask over his face. Seconds later.

_BANG_

Mello felt the world explode.


	16. Chapter 16

Burning and smoke were the only things that Mello could smell. Why the fuck did he hit the detonator? Especially while he was still inside. He remembered now. The idea was to take as many of them out as he could. Besides, he had his mask. He'd be fine. He felt so much pain, yet as if he could rule the world. As if if he stepped off a building he could fly, sore through the clouds. But now he was falling.

He couldn't lose now, not when he'd come this far. He could beat Near, and Kira. That's right, the Yagami father knew his name. It didn't matter. Jose-James had shot the fool. He hoped the man's death was painless. Someone who cared so much for his family deserved to go to heaven. Oh he didn't want to die. It hurt so much. More than when he'd broken his arm. More than when he'd felt all the blood he had pouring from his body. More than the burning his throat had felt when he'd vomited. And much worse than any hangover he'd ever had.

Oh Lord, have mercy on me. He begged. I've done some terrible things, but it hurts so bad. I am going to die. I can not die yet. I did it for a good reason. I have killed many men. All for a good reason. To murder the evil ones. I was a merciful angel. Not a bad one. Not a demon. Please spare me. He didn't mind waiting in Purgatory for a thousand years. It was simply hell that he was afraid to go to. I can not let the albino win, he muttered to himself.

He knew how close he had come. So close, so very very close. He apologised in his mind to L. For failing, for being weak. He apologised to Matt, for every single thing he had done everything he had put him through. Mello promised, that if he ever got through this he would confess to every sin he had committed. Because sin was evil, and the good Father would be the one to get him through it.

He choked back a sob. The sent of burning flesh filled his nostrils causing a deep nausea to rise in his throat. He wanted to scream out but he couldn't. His face, oh God his face was burning. He felt the blood oozing, and sizzling. Nothing but blackness filled his head. Like a boat lost in a colourless storm. Sinking, and sailing. He wanted to let himself slip away. The weight of living pressed on his shoulders, the weight that had always been there. He was ready to die, to relinquish all pain all sin. Banish all of the sin he had committed. To die, to join a better world. If he proved worthy.

But there was too much to do. Too much needed doing. Unfinished business, so many things he had to do. He grasped for an escape, yet he didn't want to find it. He was surfacing, somehow from a pit that he had lost all memory of falling into. There were so many things he needed to do. He needed to catch Kira. He needed to make Matt happy. James! He wondered if James; Jose had had parents. Would they be looking for their son who ran away from home? Would they remember him? Would they miss him? Mello had to find them. He had to find the parents, he had to find Matt. Matt needed him.

He broke lose, and his world exploded again. Pain. A crushing force from all sides appeared almost instantly. It caused a pain that was so fierce, Mello could never describe it. He felt so unsure. So disorientated. He wondered if this was hell. If the burning feeling was all his sins being washed away. He knew it was where he would end up if he died. A wave of pain shot through his nerves, bringing him back. He was perfectly sure that this was flesh and bone. If it wasn't it was something incredibly similar. He could hear the blank noise he often heard in his ears. Still the stench of smoke and scorched flesh found it's way into his nostrils. Finally he could see again, slightly blurred at first. But then he could focus, and he could see the blood seeping into the soil beneath his head. He had a face. He had limbs and he could move. He was still on earth.

He had never felt so alive before. He gasped, allowing himself to breathe freely, and he realised he was already restrained. His lungs burned, he pushed himself up slightly in an attempt to free his lungs. Pushing with his hands he managed to turn over. He found that it wasn't something on his lungs that was stopping him from breathing freely, it was the mask. He had fallen, and the debris had fallen against him. They'd bruised him, he hadn't managed to time it perfectly. But the mask, the mask had melted slightly and cracked. He managed to pull it over his face, casting it aside.

He turned and laughed. He was alive. But the act of laughing caused blood to well in his throat. He coughed, and spat it out into the dirt. It joined the first pool of blood. He curled up, and then stretched out. As if he were waking up. Perhaps this was what it was, he was waking up. He was waking up and starting again. Like a do over. A stupid reset button that Matt always had in his games.

He curled his fingers, and stretched them again. He felt his legs, leather was what people rode bikes with right? It had to be quite strong. They didn't feel broken. There was definitely no bits of bone sticking out. He was sure of that much. He guessed that he'd be able to feel it if he bones really were sticking out. He thought one of his ankles might be sprained, or maybe twisted. But it wasn't bad so far, he was alive. He pushed himself to his feet and inched forward slowly. He forced himself to move clear of the rubble that was so burning hot. He managed to move himself from the room, and tasted blood in his throat. Metal and wood and rock scraped his arms, sharp shards of glass stuck into his face. Tiny cinders glowed orange, Mello could see far in front of him.

He pushed forward again, and tried to lift himself up. He would force himself to do it. He had to do it. Just press up a little bit. Once he had crawled out of where he was laying, dragging himself he managed to get to his knees. His right arm was slick and greased with blood. A hot pain from his elbow to shoulder burnt him. He tried to look at it, to see if he could make it any better but lifting it caused the pain to flare worse. His neck burnt, his face burnt. He couldn't bare to bring his hands to his face. He felt the burning come to his face, building up. He choked back tears and gasps of agony. He continued to crawl, there wasn't enough room to stand. Besides he didn't want to trust his legs to support him.

The Japanese police could and would be there any moment. If any of them survived they would be looking around now. They'd all been covered up and wearing all that armour. He couldn't give them the chance to survive. They'd been inside when the building had exploded. But they had been dressed in more..suitable clothing. He couldn't let them go looking for him. He hoped he'd killed a good few though, otherwise it wouldn't make half of what he'd gone through worth it.

He crawled a little further. Over the ground, over scorched bits of building. Shards of broken glass that pierced him. He crawled and moved until his lungs raged and his head span. And then he stood, wobbling slightly but managed to stand. He was afraid that he would collapse, but he didn't. He staggered out, over the hurled debris. There was part of the building that hadn't fully caved in. But it didn't look safe, so he didn't bother to return. He staggered further, until he reached the tiny crook in the dusty ground, where he'd kept a mobile phone always charged. It was their emergency phone call.

He worked up his energy, and managed to flip open the box. He managed to grab the phone, and taking a couple of incredibly deep breaths he gritted his teeth and opened it. He collapsed to the floor out of exhaustion. His ankle did sting now, but not as much as his blood soaked arm. He still couldn't bare to touch his face. He felt dizzy, the vision leaving his left eye. If he stayed where he was the SPK or the NPA or some other three initialled organization would find him. The FBI would probably be after him now. They had asked him for his service beforehand.

Mello laughed, feeling the blood pooling again. He was thinking about the FBI at this time. All of his Mafia associates had been blown to hell and back. Hopefully, because if this was life they didn't deserve to be in it. Kira was still alive. Near was still winning. This wasn't a time to be celebrating or laughing. He needed somewhere to go. But he wasn't sure how to phrase it.

He groaned and grabbed the phone. He dialled the numbers he had had memorised. He brought the phone to his ear, and listened to it ringing. Finally Matt picked up, his voice was certainly lacking enthusiasm. "Who is this?"

"Matt?" choked Mello.

"Mello?" asked Matt. His voice was now concerned. He sighed, and breathed out. Mello could almost imagine that Matt was smoking right now. He'd always smoked. It was like an annoying habit it had. No, change that-thought Mello- it was an annoying habit he had.

"Matt.." Whispered Mello. He slumped. He was so pleased to be talking to him.

"Mello?" demanded Matt.

"I-I need you to meet me." He bit his lip, and tasted blood. "M-Matt..I..I..need you.."

"Where Mello?" asked Matt. His tone was caring, the opposite of what it had been earlier.

"C-can you get Sara there for me? I-I think I messed up a bit." Mello smiled, letting a tiny drop of saliva mixed with blood run down from his cheek. Christ, he was dribbling.

"Why?" asked Matt. Mello imagined his childlike face twisted in passion and concern.

"My lips taste like blood Matt."

"Mello where are you?" demanded Matt. "Please tell me. Are you at the base?" Mello couldn't bring the sound to his voice. "Mello?"

"I-I'm at the base." Answered Mello. "But I think the NPA are here too. It's not as if I can hop in a taxi looking like this." He laughed, and spat blood to the ground again.

"Right I'm on my way." Said Matt. "I'll call Sara while I drive."

"No!" protested Mello. "The NPA are still here. I'm sure of it."

Matt hesitated. "Right. Mello hold on." The buzzing tone returned. "Mello?" asked Matt.

"M-Matt?"

"Rhys is on his way to pick you up." Answered Matt.

"_Rhys_." Whispered Mello.

"Oh. And he says don't die before he gets there."

Mello smiled. "I'm not going anywhere."

"Better not." Smiled Matt. "I love you Mello."

"I lo-" the phone died. Matt was left shouting down his phone trying for a reaction, before the dialling tone returned.

Mello threw the phone so that it hit the stone, the screen cracked. He sighed and stared at the sky. It didn't last long, so he looked back to the phone. He had wanted to continue talking to Matt. Matt's voice had been soothing. Mello heard the car engine roar, and he noticed that he'd been close to sleep. He wished Rhys hadn't actually turned up. That would have allowed him to sleep longer. Mello had never been good with cars, but he knew an expensive one when he saw it. The black sleek thing that Rhys drove was obviously expensive. It was quite small, and looked as if it could carry five people. Mello blinked, heart and head pounding and as his vision unblurred he spotted Rhys, standing beside the vehicle.

"Mello?" asked Rhys.

"Y-yes." Replied Mello. He forced himself to his feet feeling the pain that had been subdued rush through him again. "Long time no see."

"You look like hell." Commented Rhys.

"Thanks." Answered Mello. He felt weak, and dizzy. He wasn't sure of the extent of his injuries.

Rhys stooped down, and put an arm around Mello's waist. "You're lucky Linda isn't jealous." He joked. Mello deposited his arm around Rhys's neck. "Shit you're bleeding a lot."

"I didn't notice." Commented Mello sarcastically. "I can walk by myself."

Rhys didn't seem to hear him. He opened the passengers side, but paused. Then heading for the boot deposited a towel over the seat. "Try not to bleed all over the car."

"Will do." Said Mello. He clambered in, and sank into the seat. It was soft and plush.

"Here." Rhys draped the blanket around Mello. "Wow your face is..wow..what happened?" he asked as he got into the car. "Where are we going to?"

"Matt's place." Answered Mello. He shivered. He didn't want to talk. The car drove for a long time, and Mello was unable to keep track of things. He could tell that Rhys was looking at his injuries, but he didn't dare to it himself. If he did he felt sure that he would pass out. He wasn't sure how bad he was, and he was scared that if he fell asleep he wouldn't wake up.

His eyelids felt heavy. He gripped the chair slightly, and shook. He felt as if his face didn't exist anymore. He hoped that it was too dark for Rhys to see completely what his face looked like. "Mello," repeated Rhys. "What the hell did you do to yourself?"

"I fucked up." Repeated Mello. He let his head flop back against the head rest. "The Mafia ain't gonna be happy with me. I blew up their base."

Rhys whistled. "That was..clever?"

"Yeah." Nodded Mello.

Rhys ran a hand through his dark hair. "Mello-" His eyes widened as he stopped for traffic lights. He seemed to have realised the true extent of what had happened. "Why the hell did you go and do that while you were still inside? You could have killed yourself!"

"But I didn't!" Pointed out Mello.

"Jeez Mello." Rhys shook his head. "We're almost there."

"Why is my face wet?" asked Mello.

"You're bleeding like hell." Commented Rhys. "Me and Linds have found an apartment. It's about twenty minutes from Matt's."

"Matt'?"

"That's where we're going now." Said Rhys. "Not in LA any more." He pulled up into the parking lot. Mello struggled to his feet.

"I'm taking you up to Matt. Linda would kill me if anything happened to you."

"Linda." Smiled Mello. "Oh I just blew up a Mafia hide out." Despite being nineteen he had a good deal of lee way when it came to them. He just hoped they'd understand.

When they reached the apartment, Mello managed to take the copy of the key he had out of his pocket. He fumbled with the lock, eventually Rhys did it for him. He bit his lip to stop his tears from flowing. Finally he slumped through the doorway, using Rhys for support.

"Oh Jesus Christ Mello!" Said Sara. "Can I not leave you or him alone for five seconds?" She rushed to Mello's other side, and helped him to the sofa.

"B-bad?" asked Mello. He found his eyes shutting.

"That's going to be a bad scar." Commented Sara, the last thing he heard before he passed out.


	17. Chapter 17

Matt sat on the sofa, in front of the television but his eyes weren't on it. Mello's body was limp on the floor, and Sara was still kneeling over it.

"We should have taken him to hospital." She commented. She dragged her hand over her forehead.

"We could never have done that." Matt said. He was practically bouncing up and down on his seat. The phone rang, which gave him a perfect excuse to get up and fetch a cigarette. "Hello?" he answered. He grabbed one of his cancer giving lung corrupting sticks.

"Can I have my husband back please?" asked Linda. She sounded nervous. "He left three hours ago. I thought you said he was only giving someone a lift."

Matt hesitated. "Of course. I'll send him home to you now." He hadn't had to ask who was calling, even though he didn't have caller id. Her voice had changed so much since Wammy's, and even though he'd heard it recently he would always recognise it anywhere. He clicked the phone off. "Rhys?" he called to the small kitchen.

Rhys stuck his head around the door and smiled. "What is it?" he asked. He'd been boiling a kettle. For some medical thing but also to make Sara a cup of tea. His eyes were tired. Matt hopped this wasn't what he'd look like when the child was born.

"Linda wants you back. I think she reckons I've kidnapped you."

"Right." Rhys shook his head, bags were starting to form around his eyes. He carefully carried a mug from the kitchen to Sara. "Here you go." He handed it to her. She took it gratefully. "Did you explain what was going on?"

"I left that for you." Smiled Matt. He brought his knees up to his chest, so he was sitting in an uncomfortable position. But he felt safe.

"I-I should stay." Rhys ran a hand through his dark greasy hair.

"You're no use here mate." Corrected Matt. "Go home, get a shower. Linda's waiting for you."

Rhys nodded slowly. Indecision was clear on his face. It was easy to forget that they were the same age sometimes. Nineteen and a bit. So young. "Right. Yeah." He looked scared. "Yeah. Linda." He grabbed his keys, and hurried to the door. He slung his jacket on. "Call me if anything happens."

"Will do." Replied Matt.

"Promise?" demanded Rhys, holding the door open.

"Sure." Matt replied feeling a lot calmer than he actually was. "Hold on!" He called. He grabbed a sweatshirt. "Stick this on." He didn't think Linda would appreciate Rhys returning covered with blood. The man had carried Mello up the stairs bridal style, before depositing him down. Mello had made it up a few steps and finally the last one, but he'd needed a lot of help. A lot of Mello's blood had covered Rhys.

"Thanks." Rhys answered. He let the door swing shut, you could hear his footsteps echoing in the empty corridor as he hurried down the stairs.

"I was never specialised in this type of thing!" Cried Sara. "I'm a shrink. I can do midwife duty, and sprained ankles. I've never done anything like this!" Matt glared at her. He wondered whether or not he should slap her. Her hands were shaking. The first aid kit he'd collected had hardly anything useful in it. Sara had only just managed to remove the mask from his skin, but there was obviously going to be a scar there. "Don't you have anything stronger?" she asked.

Matt shook his head, then paused. "Morphine." He suggested.

"Why the fuck-?" Demanded Sara. She shook her head. "Right." She'd never thought that Matt was law abiding. And it was the thing she would suggest. She carefully injected the Catholic with a healthy amount. She could feel his body relax, as the pain subsided. "I need to get these clothes off him." She insisted.

They started the dreadful task of bandaging. Mello felt the hands soft on his burning painful skin. "Worth it." He whispered. "Sochiro Yagami dead." He bit his lip as he felt what seemed like his skin being pulled away.

"The leather protected most of his body." Commented Sara. "Do you have something we can get him into?"

Matt nodded. He left the little living room and returned a moment later with a pare of jogging trousers that Mello would never have been seen dead in otherwise. They were grey, and had navy stripes down the edges. Sara cut the leather away from him, and Matt cringed at the thought of Mello's face when he realised she'd shredded his leathers. "I'll get you some new ones." He promised quietly.

He helped Sara support the man, as he slid him into the lose trackies. They looked out of place on the boy, making him seem younger thinner and smaller than he actually was. "They suit you." Commented Matt. Mello managed to roll his eyes.

Sara applied a stinging ointment to Mello's face. She rubbed the same stuff across his torso. Mello was slowly regaining consciousness. Sara managed to pull the vest fully off him. His face was the only thing damaged badly. "This is going to hurt." She warned.

She took the needle, and Mello felt it pierce his skin. His hand shot out, and grabbed what was certainly not Matt's hand. He squeezed for about eight seconds, before letting go, as Matt's eyes widened and he whimpered. "Sorry." Mello gasped. "What have you done to my leather?" He demanded catching site of the leather on the floor. He tried to sit up but his body refused to let him. He collapsed down again.

"Don't get up." Commented Sara. "And I'll get you something leather. Alright?"

"Long time no see." Managed Mello. "You look good." He smiled, and winced because Sara was still sowing.

Sara rolled her eyes, but she could never be offended. At least he was still being himself, he was still being Mello. "What the hell did you do?" she asked.

"Building blew up." Muttered Mello. He couldn't meet Matt's eye.

"Where you in said building?" asked Sara. She raised her eyebrows in a superior way. "Strolling by, and it happened to blow up. You're hurt a bit much for that. Why the hell did you wear a mask?"

"Water?" asked Mello. Sara nodded, so Matt hurried to the kitchen to fetch it. He returned with a glass full, which Mello swallowed gladly. Wincing every now and then. "My mouth tastes like blood." He muttered.

"Should do." Said Sara. "What are you two up to then?" She paused. "If you don't tell me Matt will. I wasn't at Wammy's for no reason.

Mello sighed, and stared at her as she continued with the stitches. Six. Apparently the they would dissolve. "We left to work on the-ouch- Kira case." He managed. "I-I was cornered. I-I b-blew up the building I was in to escape. To kill the members of the Japanese Task Force."He lH

Sara shook her head slightly. "Didn't you think of trying to get out of the building?"

"I didn't time it right." Confessed Mello. "That's why I was running."

Sara smiled at this. What a Mello thing to say. Trust Mello to be inside a building when it exploded. "Right. Not one of your best ideas. You're not stupid Mello. Didn't you think that you'd get hurt?"

"Duh." Said Mello. "I'm not thick."

Matt looked at the ground. "Or fast." He commented. Mello laughed, slightly pained. Sara smiled.

"Did you ever think about me after you left?" she asked suddenly. Mello paused. The truthful answer was no. He'd thought a lot about Linda. He'd thought about Matt constantly. But never had he thought about Sara. He could see out of the corner of his eye, her face drooping slowly. "It's always going to be Linda isn't it?" she asked.

"What?"

"Linda's the pretty one, the successful one. The one with the baby and the husband. I'm just sad old Sara." She wiped a small tear away from her eye.

"Of course I thought about you." Lied Mello. "When I walked out of Wammy's, when I was hunting the mafia down. When I was leading those stupid men, those good stupid men, when I killed people. When I was getting my face blown up you, Matt and Linda never left my mind. You've been my friend for so long, and you've saved my life so many times."

"This'll be the second?" asked Sara.

"The third. And last." Promised Mello.

"Next time I won't be able to save you." Said Sara sadly. "You and Matt are a couple?" she asked wiping his face. Mello couldn't nod.

"Yes." Said Matt.

"Hrm." Commened Sara. "It's as if all the Wammy's kids have stuck together. You and Mello. Linda and Rhys. No one who wasn't a Wammy's kid gets another Wammy's kid."

"Oh the Mafia would just love you." Commented Mello. He winced at the disinfectant stung his face once more.

"Sorry." Apologised Sara. "But I don't look that good in leather do I!" she joked. "Besides, I'm always going to be an ugly duckling right Matt?"

"I'm sorry." Said Matt.

"Did I miss something?" asked Mello. He felt the tears unwillingly pooling in his eyes. He hated it, the feeling of no control.

"You remember that weekend we went on? When Mason.." She couldn't find herself to finish the statement.

"She said she'd always hoped she'd grow up into a swan.." Added Matt.

"Yeah." Sara cut the threat off at last. "But he said I was more like a duck." Matt laughed.

Mello started to cry. The tears left his eyes, and fell. "I'm sorry Sara." He managed. "I'm sorry Matt."

"It's ok." Matt said, he rubbed the cloth that Sara handed him over Mello's back. He tilted Mello's chin up. "We're not worth crying over."

"Never have been." Added Sara. "I understand why you left. Why you both left."

Mello felt a singe of guilt rush through him. It combined with the pain, causing his head to ring. "I'm sorry." He repeated.

"You were my only friends." She said sadly. She sounded like a little girl.

"What happened to Jonathan?" asked Matt.

She shook her head. "He wasn't worth my time."

"You'll find someone." Said Matt. He noticed that Mello's eyes were starting to close. "Is he allowed to sleep?"

"Should be." Nodded Sara. She leaned back, letting her head fall against the sofa. "I need to sleep."

"Don't we all?"

"I've got a meeting tomorrow. With a Touta Matsuda."

"Do you have your own apartment?" Asked Matt.

"Been living in hotels." She said. "Mind if I sleep here tonight? Or this morning."

"No problem." Answered Matt. He lay back on the sofa.

"Thanks. And Matt?"

"Yeah?"

"Don't let him hurt himself any worse."

Matt nodded as he let exhaustion take him. It sounded more like an order than anything.


	18. Chapter 18

"I think the second L is Kira." Announced Mello. He was reading the files that Matt had obtained for him.

"Go figure." Said Matt frowning. "And the second L is?" he asked.

"They wouldn't be that stupid to actually put his name on file would they?" asked Mello.

Mello not being able to move about a lot really got on his nerves. And the more it got on his nerves the snappier he got, and the snappier he got the more he got on Matt's nerve. "So-?" prompted Matt.

"Well, I have a theory." Said Mello. He frowned and winced. "When will these stitches fade?" he asked. "And when will this scar disappear?"

Matt hesitated. "It won't?" he asked, or rather said.

"Right. Of course." He said. He sighed. He wanted to be doing a lot of things. But sitting around an apartment doing what Matt always did was just boring. He liked to be out, hands on doing things. Not just sitting about looking up information. "Do you think Kira has the eyes?"

"It's a possibility." Said Matt. But he didn't look certain of it. "I don't think so though."

"How come?" asked Mello. He ran a hand through his dirty hair. He hadn't been able to wash it because it would get the cuts wet.

"Well he wants to be god right?" asked Matt.

"There is but one God." Answered Mello, he wished he had been able to keep the aggression out of his voice.

Matt slung his feet onto the sofa. He was used to Mello's Catholicism. Yes Matt had found out it was an actual word. "I didn't disagree with you." Said Matt though he actually didn't believe in God.

"Right." Nodded Mello.

"Kira wants to be god. He, and I assume the second L-not Near- is a male. And he'd probably think he's too good to give up half his life."

"Fair enough." Thought Mello. "If I were going to create a better world I'd want to be around to appreciate it." He nodded. "Yeah, that makes sense."

"I know!" Smiled Matt. "Isn't that awesome?" He laughed, even though it was fake.

"Why are you so happy?" demanded Mello.

"Have you taken that medication Sara gave you? Not the pain one, the other one she got for you." Matt prompted. He didn't want to say _the one for depression._

"It gave me a high the first time. But I really don't want it." Replied Mello.

"Mello.." Muttered Matt.

"Fine." Scowled Mello. He took a sip of coffee even though it hurt when he swallowed.

"Is that coffee?" asked Matt. "You're not meant to have caffeine."

"So?" asked Mello. "You're not meant to smoke. You're not meant to do a lot of things."

"Mello!" Frowned Matt. "Right." He pushed himself up off the sofa and hurried to the kitchen. The packet of tablets was still unopened. "I thought you took them for a week!"

"I forgot?"

"That sounded like a question!"

"Oops?" asked Mello again.

"You're such an idiot genius sometimes Mihael Keehl." Frowned Matt. He found himself acting incredibly motherly towards Mello.

"Just give me the stupid tablet." Ordered Mello. He didn't like the use of his real name.

Matt silently handed him the tablet. Watching as Mello put it into his mouth, and winced as he swallowed. "Open your mouth." Said Matt.

"Why?" asked Mello.

"Do it." ordered Matt. Mello unused to the orders coming from Matt opened his mouth like a child for the dentist. Matt pushed himself over Mello, so that his hands were on either side of Mello's shoulders. "Move your tongue."

"Ok." Mello's tangled response as he moved his tongue.

"Good boy." Smiled Matt. He leaned in with his mouth this time, allowing their lips to collide gracefully. Tongues collided as Matt slipped his arm around Mello's waist. The gentle taste of coffee was still bright on Mello's lips, and a mixture of dried blood came with it. But Matt didn't mind. Mello and everything around Mello mesmerized him, transporting him to another world. The ragged breathing and dancing tongues brought fire to his heart, and ice to his mind. The complete cliché contradiction. With just Mello in the room the whole world would disappear.

Mello pushed him away slowly. "You shouldn't do that." He corrected. "If you don't mean it."

Matt frowned, how could he ever prove to the stubborn idiotic blonde that he really did mean it. He struggled for words. But then he found them. "You're like ecstasy." He said. "You make me feel so happy, all of the time. When I'm with you, when you smile I feel like nothing could go wrong. I feel like I could fly. When I kiss you desire ignites the whole world around us, and I get lost in a sea of lust and love."

"You've always been good with words." Said Mello.

"Don't you get it?" asked Matt. He pushed the laptop off Mello, so that nothing but clothing lay between him and Mello's flesh. "The rest of the world is engulfed by the flames in my mind when I'm with you. I need you Mello. You're my best friend. You're my brother. But more than that, you are my lover. You are my purpose. You are my everything. I would die for you, but I would also live for you. I live for you and you alone. When we're apart the flames extinguish and the desperate heat leaves. You asked me how I survived in this world, remember? You asked me how on earth I managed to live in this dreadful world. The world I hated so much. I never answered. But the way I live in this stupid place is you. I live for you."

"You're that dedicated?" asked Mello. "Really?"

"Yes." Matt shook his head. "Yes I am."

"Back to shinigami eyes." Said Mello.

"Right.." Matt felt awkward now. He let his arm hang around Mello's bandaged shoulder.

"So you were saying? He'd think he was too good to make the deal?" Mello prompted Matt now. _Dedication_ he thought to himself.

"Yeah. Plus L proved that the first Kira- the original one, who is now the second L- needed a face and a name to kill someone. But the second Kira needed only a face."

"Because with the eyes the second Kira wouldn't need a name!" finished Mello. "How the hell do you know all this?"

"I do read what I send you." Matt pointed out.

"And the second Kira according to Near and L..was.." Mello swore. "The files were deleted."

"But Near knew who the second Kira was." Matt promised.

"Right." He scrolled down. "What's the code?" he asked.

Matt translated it quickly enough. "Press control now." He offered. "There you go."

"Misa Amane." Whispered Mello. "She's an idiot."

"I know." Agreed Matt. "Which is why she would need to be in contact with the first Kira. The actual Kira. Because she could never work alone."

"Mhm." Nodded Mello. "The one's she was close to." He looked through a list of names. "It would have had to have been someone important to the case. Someone L worked with closely. Probably someone L worked with. Shit!"

"What is it?" asked Matt.

"L detained Misa Amane for a set amount of time." Said Mello. "Near has it on his file. He also detained a high school student called Light Yagami."

"Sayu's brother?" Asked Matt. "I'm running a search now." He frowned at the results. "Grade A student. Good brother. Won lots of prizes. Never in trouble. Lots of mentions in the local news paper- he got a lot of mentions for getting best grades."

"Sounds like Near." Mello commented. "Yep he was a member of the task force working with L."

"He sounds like that kind of guy doesn't he?" asked Matt. "So L detained him. Along with the second Kira. Meaning he must be Kira. He is the new L."

"We beat Near." Smiled Mello. "Light Yagami is Kira."

"How come he wasn't caught?" demanded Matt.

"Because L died. And Near plays by the rules."

"We need to play by the rules at the moment." Answered Matt.

"No we don't." Snapped Mello.

"I think we do." Replied Matt. "Don't get bickering. We can't do much about Light Yagami with no proof. But I know someone who can."

"We're not telling Near." Swore Mello. "Don't you dare."

"I always dare." Countered Matt. "Besides, you're in no position to do much are you?"

"Fine. But make sure he knows we've beat him to this."

"We don't have proof though." Matt said slowly.

"Neither does he." Mello paused, flicking a bit of red hair out of Matt's eyes. "But he can't be killing now."

"Then we have as Near would say- X kira. Kira has a load of spokes persons. It'll be one of them."

"Then that's what we're concentrating on." Mello leaned back, so that his head rested into Matt's neck. Then he stood up. "Stand up." He told Matt.

"What?" asked Matt.

"Did you really mean what you said about dedication?" he asked Matt.

"Of course." Assured Matt. "Why?"

"Stand up." Mello pulled Matt up into the standing position.

"Fine." Pouted Matt. Mello pushed Matt's hair so that it didn't hang over his eyes. He slowly removed the goggles. "What are you doing?" demanded Matt.

"Trust me." Answered Mello. Matt's eyes were slightly blood shot, as they had been ever since he was thirteen. He pushed the laptop out of the way. "Stay there." He ordered. "Where did you put my box of stuff?" he asked.

"In the kitchen." Answered Matt hesitantly.

"Good. Be right back!" Mello darted away. His new leather squeaked slightly. It was laced up at the front. He wore a red hood that was bordered with fur. He returned quickly. And knelt down to the floor.

"What are you doing?" giggled Matt nervously as Mello took his hand.

"Did you mean what you said?" asked Mello.

"Yes." Promised Matt.

"Good." Mello smiled. "Mail Jeevas I love you. I have always loved you." He stared contentedly into Matt's eyes. "I can not imagine living in a world without you. I need you to survive. You are the only way I can breathe."

"No I'm not." Matt shook his head, still standing.

"Shut up." Mello ordered. "Mail I love you. I love you so much more than words can describe. And I hope that you love me back. I want to dedicate myself to you. To love and to hold. To cherish every single day. And to obey. I would gladly go to hell for you. I want and need you. Mail please, will you please marry me?"

Matt dragged Mello to his feet. He pulled the hood off Mello, and started to undo his leather. Mello reacted to Matt the same way. He pulled the shirt over Matt's head. Stripping each other in a quick, mad and hurried way. As if their lives depended on it. Matt kicked Mello down, pushing him to the floor. The sofa would go un slept on that night. He pushed his lips to Mello's first. Pulling the boys head so close to his own he could smell the apple shampoo that Linda had provided for him.

He violently forced himself onto Mello. His lips spoke for love, but Mello's spoke forever. It was as if he was trying to push his soul closer to Mello's. To Mello's very pure heart. He grew more and more gentle, until he was simply kissing him. He felt the wetness of Mello's tongue on his lips, and nibbled Mello back. He knew how Mello liked to be bitten. He breathed out, letting their breath collide causing an explosion within his soul.

His fingers fumbled through Mello's hair, not caring that it hadn't been washed recently. He scraped his nails along Mello's head, still passionately sucking his face. As if his life really did depend on it. Mello was his one and only lifeline. The kiss that was so magical that made every single moment of his life pointless, yet gave them so much point all at once. Dizziness struck him, but he wasn't about to pull away. He never wanted to stop, or to change. All those times he'd told Mello he loved him, as a friend, jokingly, as a brother, but now. He felt so happy, so over whelmed. He wanted to live for him, and he wanted them to share their breath for ever.

He kissed Mello harshly again once more, as Mello stayed frozen in the grasp. He closed his eyes, begging for Matt to never stop. The fantasy, the dream it was real. Bitter memories flooded his mind, but they weren't all that bad. He honestly wouldn't care if he died, because hell wouldn't be that bad if Matt was with him. And heaven would be even better. Even nothingness wasn't that bad. Because Matt was kissing him. Finally Matt found the need to breathe again, he pulled away for a second and Mello spoke. "So is that a yes?" he asked.

"What do you think genius?" asked Matt. He pushed Mello back down.


	19. Chapter 19

"Did you find out if the eyes can be used on photographs?" asked Matt. He was typing. Mello was eating chocolate. Nothing seemed wrong with the scene.

"If the photograph shows the right amount of face then yes." Answered Mello.

"Which means that the second Kira can see your name if she had your photo." Matt figured.

"We can't rule out that the accomplices do not have the eyes." Mello pointed out.

"Then that makes it easier to kill you." Matt frowned.

"I hated having my picture taken."

"Why?" demanded Matt.

"Because." Scowled Mello like a small child.

"Still. There must be photos of you at Wammy's." Matt said slowly.

"There was only ever one left." Mello said. "When they wanted to know what I looked like they went to Linda for a picture."

"They asked her to draw one?" Matt's eyes widened. "But she wouldn't!"

"They were the cops. They told her I could be lying dead somewhere, she's always been good hearted. They needed to 'find' me, to 'help' me.." Mello did the quotation marks with his fingers in the air. "..so of course she drew them a picture of me. She also sketched Near."

"Right." Said Matt. "But the eyes wouldn't work on a picture?"

"I didn't ask." Admitted Mello. "However I'm ninety eight percent certain that it wouldn't."

"How come?" asked Matt.

"She gave it to the Japanese police. Kira works with them. As does Sochiro Yagami who was meant to kill me. If the eyes worked on the drawing then I would be dead by now."

"There are a ton of photos of me and the others back at Wammy's. If I remember correctly you took them all didn't you?" Asked Matt. "So how come I'm not dead?"

"No offence.." Mello started. "But you're not that important."

"I'm insulted!" insisted Matt. He flicked the lighter and lit his cigarette. He turned away from Mello ever so slightly.

"Oh I'm sorry Mattie!" Smiled Mello deliciously. He kissed Matt's neck slightly, all the way along his jaw. "Am I forgiven?" he asked in a childish voice.

"Of course." Smiled Matt. "I thought you were working."

"I need to wait for this stupid file thing to actually do something." Mello pointed out. "Besides I'm not meant to be out and about."

"Sara said you can go out tomorrow."

"And leave you alone?" asked Mello.

"You might have to." Matt pointed out. "Now what were you saying about me not being important?"

"You Mail Jeevas, soon to be Keehl are very very important." Promised Mello purring slightly. "But who knows that you are with me?"

"You do." Said Matt. "Linda, Rhys, Sara..Near.."

"And do you think they're going to go tell Kira?" asked Mello. He smiled in confidence.

"What about the police that have seen me with you, near you?" asked Matt. "They'll work it out."

"As far as they're concerned you're another mafia member. I don't think a death note is going to be killing you." Mello said calmly. He stroked Matt's neck. "Don't worry, my Mattie is safe."

"Hrm. So the Death Note isn't going to kill me. Yay." Matt's lack of enthusiasm was certainly obvious. "But blades and bullets will still have effect."

"I would never let anything happen to you. You're not missing the wedding." Mello pointed out. "And if one of us is not around to wet little baby Matt's head then Rhys will murder us."

"Wish him luck with that." Joked Matt.

"Will do." Promised Mello.

"But this photo that was left at Wammy's." Said Matt. "Who has it now?"

"I..have an idea.."

"Who?" repeated Matt.

"Nate River." Said Mello slowly.

"Who?" echoed Matt.

Mello realized he had slipped up. "No one." He muttered. "No one important."

"Someone from Wammy's?" asked Matt again.

"Near." Mello admitted.

"How do you-? Never mind."

"I'm.." Matt stroked Mello's cheek and kissed his lips. Mello was cut off mid sentence as Matt slowly moved his lips on his. Their lips and mouths moved with each other, and Matt raised his hand up to Mello's head. Tangling his fingers in the blonde's hair he licked his lips slowly. His other hand he pulled to Mello's face cupping the cheek in his hand. Mello raised Matt's shirt, only just put on, and slowly started to trace his hands feeling Matt's body. He moved from Matt's lips to his neck, thrusting himself to his thighs. Matt placed his hands on Mello's lower back, slipping one hand down the back of his leathers. Mello was in a daze.

"I-Love-You!" panted Mello, through the kissing and the touching. Matt pushed him over, onto his front. He peeled off the boy's shirt, as he started to remove his own. He pressed his chest against Mello's back, running his hand down the naked body, stroking him. Matt started to kiss Mello's jaw, moving down his neck and then he was kissing Mello's back. He touched his body so gently and passionately, that Mello couldn't help but shudder. He unbuttoned his own jeans pulling them off, then off came his t-shirt. Mello rolled over, pushing Matt down this time. But Matt wasn't slow, he climbed on top of Mello pushing the boy back down, making sure to turn his head slowly to the side. He gently and slowly licked Mello's neck, causing him to moan and smile.

Brushing his fingers across the boys back, he pulled Mello into an embrace. His licks caressed the neck, as the blonde hair was pushed out of the way framing his perfect face. He ran his hands down Mello's body again and blew gently on his neck. "I love you too." He managed.

"Stop it." Mello pushed Matt away from him. "Not now. Later." He started to do up his pants, and reached for his shirt off the carpeted floor.

"I need you." Begged Matt.

"Not now." Mello said. "We have all night."

"Good." Matt pouted again. "Shit!"

"What is it?" demanded Mello.

Matt shook his head. "They can't have done this! This isn't right. No way!"

"What is it?" repeated Mello. Pushing Matt over slightly so that he could see what Matt was reading.

"It's..he wouldn't…"

"Oh come on." Mello frowned.

"The vice president of America has withdrawn all cooperation from the Kira case. Completely. He just announced the disbandment of the SPK. I know you don't like Near.."

"You're right. But I understand." Mello said. "That is not good."

Matt nodded. "Hell no. Sooo what are we going to do about it?" he asked.

"I-I..I don't know." Replied Mello. "Looking for X kira would be a good idea." He said. "But first the photograph. And if what the vice pres' says is true then Near's going to need some help."

"But you don't know where Near is." Matt provided.

"But I will." Mello smiled dangerously. "Because I have you."

"As always." Smiled Matt, in his eye was the dangerous glint he always had. It was a glint that Mello loathed and loved. Like marmite, it was irresistible to him, yet incredibly dreadful.

There was something like diet coke in his return smile. It looked and tasted similar to Matt, yet it wasn't quite right. It wasn't quite the same as a normal smile. But he returned it. "So tomorrow it's Near."

"As soon as I find him." Said Matt. "It shouldn't be too hard…hang on..can you call him?"

"What?" asked Mello. "But he'll find us."

"Nope." Grinned Matt mischievously. "I just need two seconds..but I'll do it..don't worry.." He picked up his phone from where he'd thrown it earlier. He dialed the number. "N this is J." He paused. "Understood… Please don't fool yourself…Mello is alive..sadly..no.." He clicked the phone off.

"That as longer than two seconds." Mello pointed out childishly.

"He had things to say." Matt said smugly.

"Really?" asked Mello wondering what on earth Near could say that would have any importance. "I have a job for you Matt." He informed the redhead.

"Apart from this?" asked Matt lazily.

"Tomorrow I need you to do this." He opened a folder on the laptop. "I also need to find some information for Rhys. He needs some feedback for the agency."

"I'm coming with you though." Matt said.

"Like hell you are."


	20. Chapter 20

**AN: Well..I hope people like Matt/Mello because if you hadn't noticed this is what this is! I loved all of your reviews last chapter..sorry for no lemon..I don't even know how to write it! Please review now..with tips..or with comments!**

Mello left before Matt woke up. He'd managed to somehow sneak past the noisy household objects, and successfully leave without waking his other half. This was unsurprising, seeing as Mello could be quite sneaky when it came to getting what he wanted. And Matt had always, and would always be a very heavy sleeper. Sometimes back at the orphanage Linda had humorously suggested that he would sleep through gunshots and elephants trampeeding the orphans. Matt secretly agreed that he would probably sleep through both, and knowing him he wouldn't ever wake up from the gunshot.

He finally awoke when his alarm was ringing, screaming like a police siren. He dragged himself off the bed and onto the floor. He had barely managed to groggily turn around, when he noticed Mello wasn't there. An adrenalin rush filled him for barely a moment, in which he managed to jump up, pull his clothes on and grab his phone. He hurriedly dialled the number that belonged to Mello. It was immediately sent to voice mail.

"Hey Mello. It's me Matt." He said after the beep. "Well you know it's me Matt, because you have a contact list with my number on it." He ran a hand through his hair feeling the grease in it. "Jeez I need to wash my hair." He commented. "Oh yeah..well I'm phoning you to say good luck. Hope you do what you need to do. And..urm..well I miss you already alright? And urm..don't be late home honey!" He offered. "Well then...goodbye." He smiled. "Lot's of love by the way. Love from Matt. Your Mattie." He clicked off the phone.

Then he reopened it. "N this is J." He spoke softly to the electronic voice.

"J this is N." Confirmed Near. "What is it that you want?"

"Mello is on his way to you. I think he's coming on a bike." Matt attempted.

"I did suspect that he would attempt to make contact." Agreed Near. "Is that all?"

"Yes." Added Matt. "That is all." He felt stupid talking to Near. "Do you think you could trace a man who went by the name Jose?"

"Is that what Mello's put you up to?" asked Near. Matt could almost see him smirking, he did sound amused. "I'm afraid that I can't. But I'm sure you can. Mello doesn't put his faith in just anyone."

"Is that your attempt at a compliment?" asked Matt. Because it did sound like one, sort of.

"Is that your attempt at thanking me?" asked Near. "You are welcome. You and Mello are always welcome. You were my only friends at Wammy's." That was not how Matt remembered it. "Thank you."

"You're welcome." Matt didn't know whether to smile or not. He clicked off the phone. Near hadn't even sounded bothered. Well that registered as normal in Matt's mind, not a lot ever bothered Near. In fact he had not once cried for his mother or father while he was at Wammy's. Matt had found that odd at the time.

It was one of the unwritten rules of Wammy's house. You didn't cry. But everyone did at some point. Whether it was alone in their room, or on the shoulder of their friend. Each child cried. Apart from Nate River. He had arrived at Wammy's and become more and more robotic. Unhuman. He distanced himself, and even Linda couldn't get through to him. But if he was under the impression Matt and Mello had been his friends, Matt wasn't about to change it.

He found the name that Mello had given him. James Linn. He wasn't sure exactly what Mello wanted done. Find him, had been the order. But it was probably the dirty work as usual that Mello wanted doing. Matt was going to have to find James Linn's parents, and inform them that their son was dead. Blown up by his friend. Well that would go down a treat with them. Matt really regretted agreeing to do it. Perhaps Mello wanted it more personal than them finding out on the news. What exactly Matt was meant to say to them he didn't know. Did Mello want him to tell them that their son was a member of the mafia, or would they prefer to hear that he died in an attempt to bring down Kira? The second was probably the kinder.

As Matt mooched around a phone rang. He had just finished brewing a cup of coffee. He sighed. And went to search for it. He could hear it buzzing, and ringing but he knew it wasn't his. Finally after throwing some books onto the floor Mello had tidied the night before he found it. It was a flip phone labelled "FBI" so Mello had a special phone he used for FBI agents. Wow, and Matt had thought Mello was organised before. He flipped it open, and gingerly put it to his ear.

"Mello?" gasped a familiar voice at the other end of the phone. It belonged to a man who sounded out of breath. Matt didn't know that this phone call was going to be changing his life. Matt put down the controller cord that had been tangled around the phone. He wasn't sure who would be calling him, or Mello. But he hoped they had a good reason to.

"This isn't Mello. Can I take a message?" he ventured.

"..Matt?" asked the voice. Now Matt recognised it, he stopped breathing for a second.

"Rhys?" he asked. "Rhys what is it?"

"I…" The voice tried.

"Rhys what is it? Why do you need Mello?" There was a sound like a small sob. Matt dropped some of the spite that had been hiding in his voice, now the old friendship returned stronger than ever. "Rhys what's wrong? Is it Linda?" he asked.

"Linda's fine." Gasped the thin voice. "I-I-Need-Help." The voice sounded terrified. "I need Mello. I need-Please.." The voice stopped, there was a gunshot and the line went dead.

Matt clicked the phone of and threw it at the wall. "For fucks sake!" he shouted, banging his fist into the wall too. Then picking it up, he opened it and inserted it into the section he had prepared in the computer. It took him three minutes and a half to trace the call. He was already afraid that that was too long.

His lip curled as he grabbed his keys. Then he grabbed his actual phone. He clicked it open and left Mello a message. "Gone to Rhys." He told the voice mail. "If I'm not back by the time you get home trace my phone." He swore and dropped it. Then picked it up and shoved it in his pocket. He grabbed his gun before slamming the door and heading out. He remembered to lock it, as he ran down the stairs two at a time.

When he got to the garage he realised he didn't have a car. He looked around, and found one that looked interesting. He would have to ask Mello to get him one. It looked sweet, he would have to get one and make sure that it remained in one piece and was always his. He glided down the street, tires screeching causing a cloud of churning dust to raise behind him. Rhys had better have a good reason for needing help.

He raced around the corner of another street and toward the motorway. He would have to actually drive sensibly on that. He couldn't risk being stopped. Mafia member, known Mello associate, stolen car, illegal hacker..it didn't sound good. Finally he came off the road, and entered a small town. He parked the car, because he could no longer drive further and started to walk. He had narrowed down the trace to a specific street, but he wasn't sure. He saw it.

There was a phone box that looked as if it had once been red. But on the glass there was a blurry red handprint. Matt half ran half staggered toward it, and looked around in madness for where the caller who had rasped down the phone was. He found an alleyway, where the back entrances to the shops were. He found the man, slumped against a dumpster. He ran towards the body, ignoring the sirens that wailed in the background. He reached out, and turned the man towards him.

It couldn't be Rhys. Rhys was a nineteen year old, who had bright eyes. Who was always so damn clever. Rhys wasn't this person. Rhys was a man who was so painfully innocent and who deserved someone as wonderful as Linda. Rhys was the kind of guy that even Mello found himself painfully attracted to at one point. Who was so bigheaded, and stupid but who knew he was smart and didn't need to tell people that he was. Rhys was Rhys. This wasn't him. The creature wearing jeans and a soaked shirt, this wasn't him. Rhys, it looked like Rhys the same hair the same face. But Rhys didn't have a hole in his chest.

This wasn't Rhys. This wasn't fair. "I can't feel anything." Murmured Rhys, his head bowed. His hair slid into his face, over his eyes that glittered in such a metallic cold way. The thinnest smile that was ever seen clamped his lips stretching them in a grotesque way. "I can't feet it Matt."

Matt swallowed. It was Rhys. It was definitely Rhys. He felt the suns shadow pour down on him, and felt himself starting to sweat. He wasn't sure what to say. Very few words trickled into his mind, but they weren't right. He wasn't sure what to do even. The mans chest heaved, he couldn't breathe. "We need to get an ambulance." Said Matt.

"Too late." Rhys managed, his voice was barely audible. "No time."

"We need to stop the bleeding." Matt insisted. He pulled his own shirt over his head, so that his bare chest was subject to the tormenting wind.

"I-Can't feel." Rhys insisted. His hands were shaking slightly as they pressed to his chest. He couldn't move his head much to look at the wound.

"I'm calling an ambulance." Insisted Matt.

Rhys opened his eyes widely in a terror that mixed with panic. "Mustn't do that Matt." He murmured. "No. You mustn't be here when they come. You mustn't."

Matt was holding the shirt to the other man's chest, when he knew it would make no difference. "You're not dying."

"I-Am." Promised Rhys. "I can't feel it anymore."

"Yes you can." Matt said. "You can." He nodded.

"Linda-" gasped Rhys. "Linda." A tear slid from his eye. He gasped slightly.

"Linda will be fine. I promise."

"You love her don't you?" asked Rhys, his voice choked out.

"I-I used to." Matt said, he smiled through the mask of pain.

"You always loved her." Rhys insisted. "Like a sister?"

"Yes Rhys. I love Linda and always will." Matt promised again.

Rhys smiled. His voice was no longer panicked, his eyes were starting to close. "Linda needs loving." He smiled again. "And so does Matt. Little Matt needs loving. Promise?"

"I-I promise." Matt nodded, he smiled. "But little Matt will have his dad with him."

"No." Rhys choked. "You and Mello will look after Linda and Matt won't you?" he asked.

"We will." Matt said.

"Promise?" asked Rhys.

"I- Rhys?" begged Matt. "Come on Rhys!"

The man said no more. Instead he simply lay still at last, eyes partially open. Matt closed them, because it felt proper. He stood up slowly, and kicked the dumpster. As if that's the thing that shot Rhys. He kicked the dumpster, and then the wall. He slammed his fist into the bricks as he left the alley. He decided to leave the car where it was. No point going home in it. He entered the phone box and made the phone call that he had wanted to make. An anonymous one to the police. It didn't matter if they found him now. He decided to call Mello. Because people often noticed topless men who hopped onto a bus in the winter.

When Mello arrived he got into the car wordlessly. He absentmindedly blew smoke at the window, watching it rebound. Usually Mello would have said something, but he didn't. Finally he asked the question that had been bouncing on his lips. "Was Rhys ok?"

Matt shook his head, putting his hands to it. Looking at the floor of the car. Mello drove faster than Matt did, so the usually long trip took half the time. "No."

"What?" demanded Mello, even though he kept his eyes on the road.

"We need to see Linda." Matt ordered. He wanted to go to sleep, just to sleep and wake up in the morning. Not to be like this. Instead he didn't.

They spent an hour with Linda. Sara agreed to stay at her apartment with her. But Matt and Mello decided it would be kinder to give the women time alone. Linda wasn't one who cried in public, but this time she did. She let out an unearthly sound when they gave her the news. She shook, and she cried. A horrible wailing sound, that was fit for only the darkest of caves. She shook badly, and wouldn't say a word after that.

When they finally arrived back at the apartment, Matt's key seemed to shriek in the lock. As if it was welcoming them into a hell hole. Matt left Mello standing in the doorway for a second because he pushed through to the bathroom. Where he found the firstaid kit that Sara had left him. He threw it at the bed that he seemed unslept in. Mello simply sat on the bed beside it. Matt washed his shaking hands slowly letting the cool water flow over them.

"Come on." Mello ordered.

Matt shook his head sitting down. "It's not fair." He muttered, lighting a new cigarette.

Mello's afflicted face twisted again. Matt's stomach turned, he was glad he hadn't eaten much. "I know it isn't." He put an arm around Matt's shoulders.

"Why does this keep happening to us?" asked Matt. He looked incredibly young as he asked it. "Why does this always happen to me?"

Mello shook his head. "Because we're Wammy's kids. Nothing good happens to us."

"Poor Linda." Matt's face crumpled, he leaned against Mello. "Linda." His face started to shake. "First Mason, now Rhys."

"I know. I know." Mello soothed. He picked some of the golden hairs carefully from his scar.

"It isn't fair."

"Mhm." Mello agreed.

"How does she still smile?" asked Matt. "Linda. Even after Mason died, she was closest to him. But she still smiled. How did she give it another go?"

"I have no clue." Admitted Mello laying back on the bed, dragging Matt with him. "Linda's tougher than she looks."

"It's always Wammy's against the world isn't it?" asked Matt.

"When we were younger we said that." Mello said slowly. "Linda, you and me, Mason, Sara and even Rhys. But it was always you and me special."

"My head.." Matt put his hand to his head, breathing shallowly. "Oh god Mello."

Mello curled his free hand into a tight fist. Watching as Matt drew in a deep nicotine sprayed breath. "It's always you and me Matt. I promise." The half of his face that was not scared was beautiful. His pale blue eyes contrasted perfectly with the angry red of the scar.

Matt shook his head. "What happens when you leave me?" he asked, hugging Mello's chest.

Mello stared at him. "I thought I was the insecure one?" he stroked Matt's hair.

Matt stubbed the cigarette out on the ashtray that he kept beside the bead. "Take that shirt off." He ordered.

"Before we're married?" Mello mocked, in fake shock.

"Hell yeah." Gasped Matt. He pushed himself up on one elbow to gaze directly into Mello's eyes. "Not the first time is it?"

"I love you." Breathed Mello.

"Now take that shirt off or do I have to take it off myself?" demanded Matt.

"No fair, you got a head start." Mello complained.

"My shirts with Rhys." Matt informed him, his stomach turning once more. He started to peel Mello's shirt away from his skin. "Don't wriggle too much." He whispered into Mello's ear as he kneeled over him.

"Spoils the fun." Commented Mello.

"Fuck you." Matt swore.

"Please do." Begged Mello.

"I asked for that didn't I?" he asked.

"I'm the one begging." Smirked Mello. Matt choked back a sob. "Matt?" asked Mello. The bed creaked, as Mello worked his fingers through Matt's hair. "Mattie it's all going to be ok." He whispered, flicking off the light.

"Rhys is gone." Matt whispered back, as the tears burned in his eyes.

"I know." Promised Mello. "I know how you feel."

"Mason died." Matt's tears were furious. "And then you left. You left Wammy's and me. You didn't bother calling, or writing or anything."

Mello was silent. "You wouldn't have known. You left after me."

"But you didn't bother did you?"

"I was with the mafia," he tried to explain. "I couldn't have -"

"Don't give me that shit." Matt felt the anger seething from him. "You could have but you didn't."

Mello's fingers stroked Matt's neck. "Fine." He decided. "I could have written, and I'm sorry that I didn't. Wammy's broke me, so I ran away."

"And I had to put all the pieces back together." Matt came to the conclusion.

Mello followed the cure of Matt's jaw with his finger tip. "I'm sorry." He apologised softly. "I know how hard it was for you. You should I hate me."

"But I don't." Matt said.

"When I ran I didn't think I'd be joining the mafia. I thought I'd be dead within a week. I wanted to be dead within a week."

"I would die for you without a second's decision." Hissed Matt eyes flashing like a serpent. "Don't you trust me?"

"I'm never giving you the change to die for me." Mello promised softly. "I trust you to live for me."

"Not without you." Matt spat. "Never without you." He watched as the car headlights from outside played on the curtains dancing softly to a silent music. "You're an idiot." He didn't look Mello in the eye.

"But I can be your idiot." Mello promised. "I know I asked you before, but I'll ask you again. Do you want me?"

"I have always wanted you." Matt murmured, licking his lips. "I always have, always did. And always will."

Mello smoothed his hand over Matt's chest. He kissed the boys neck. "I'm sorry." He whispered. He settled over Matt, almost like a blanket. The apology didn't help anything. But Mello was actually trying for once, and that helped the pain. Mello was sorry that Rhys was gone. Mello was sorry that Mason was gone, that Matt's parents were gone and that L and Watari were gone. But he was also sorry for leaving himself.

"So am I." Matt whispered back, fingers finding the silken angel hair that belonged to Mello.

"We're both sorry then." Remarked Mello amused. Matt assumed that Mello was smiling in the semi darkness. A shadow fell across the boys face, causing his scar to appear ever more prominent.

"Does it hurt?" asked Matt.

"Always." Replied Mello, though Matt had an idea that Mello was answering a different question. He pushed forward onto Matt, kissing his lips slowly and softly. Rolling so that he was on top of Matt, he ran his cold fingers down Matt's jeans sliding them onto the floor. He unzipped his belt slowly letting Matt pull them off.

Mello kissed Matt's stomach first, as Matt lay back, enjoying the affection. He slowly let Mello lick his body as if it was chocolate. He slid his hands over Matt's body, listening to the redhead purr. "I love you." He managed. His chest ached, not only because of the heaviness of his breathing but because of the mixture of pain and love he felt for Mello. For once he was glad that Mello never wore anything under his leather. He reached down as Mello slithered on top of him, purring again as he heard Mello moan. He dragged his hands along Mello's taunt muscles, enjoying the tension that was building.

Mello stroked Matt's body now, feeling as if the world was his. He forced Matt to roll over, so that his back was to Mello. He moaned as Mello gripped him preciously, sliding his hands up Matt's back, tracing the letter M over his shoulders. Slowly he pushed into Matt, as the boy moaned dissolving into a world of pleasure.


	21. Chapter 21

The redhead really thought his head was going to explode. It sure as hell felt like it was going to. "Y-you still want me to find Jose's family?" he asked. He shook his head slowly feeling like it would fall

"Later." Whispered Mello. He pulled the covers around them, so that they lay there.

"I just want to sleep." Matt murmured.

"You look beautiful when you're tired." Mello pushed his face closer towards Matt. He trapped him by leaning his arms onto either side of him. The distance between them lessened, so that he could see every one of Matt's beautiful features.

"Please don't." Matt breathed out. His words came out sad, inches away from Mello's pale cold skin.

"You don't mean that." Mello's returned words were colder, and smooth. He kissed Matt's neck passionately. "Tell me what's wrong?"

"You know what's wrong." Matt said.

Mello stroked Matt's hair, leaning closer so that his lips touched Matt's ear. "There's lots wrong in this world Mattie. It's corrupt and evil. Tell me please.." He stroked the others hair with a fine thin finger.

Matt tried to turn away from him but Mello's hard grasp was inescapable even if he had truly wanted to move away. "I'm sorry." He said quietly. "I said you hadn't bothered to write. But you would have, wouldn't you?"

"You were right." Mello said slowly. "I didn't bother. I regret that now. Guess I thought ripping the bandage away was kinder than slowly peeling it away."

"Guess you were right." Matt sighed. "I would die for you, you know that right?" he snuggled his head into Mello's neck.

"That's what I'm worried about." Mello admitted voice gentler now. He took one of Matt's hands feeling the burning flesh.

"You proposed to me." Matt whispered choked voice. "But you don't want me to die for you? Would you die for me?" he asked.

Mello wished Matt realised how precious and important he was. Matt seemed to have forgotten completely all he had ever said to him. Was he really that stupid of a genius that he forgot things so easily? "Mail Jeevas, are you stupid?" demanded Mello.

"Yes." Said Matt. He blushed slightly.

"Like hell you are." Mello answered. "Matt I love you. I've always loved you, and I promise that I will never love anyone else. I want to show the rest of this godforsaken world that I love you."

Matt's eyes widened slightly before he relaxed. "Really?"

Mello nodded. "Duh." He smiled. He stroked Matt's bony chin. "We should go out together some time."

"We need to work on bringing Kira down." Matt insisted.

"Kira can wait sometimes." Mello promised. "We should go, on a date!" he pronounced the last word as if it were a sacred one.

"A date?" asked Matt. "We don't do dates." Matt stared at him for a moment. "What are you plotting?" he asked Mello.

Mello giggled slightly. Then leaned in for a passionate kiss, even though Matt refused to open his mouth when Mello's tongue danced. Mello snaked his hand onto Matt's chest again, making the boy shiver. "Nothing bad." He promised.

"I can't wait until this case is over." Said Matt.

"Me too." Agreed Mello. "Because then we can get married. I want to make it a big deal. We're going to invite everyone from Wammy's." He promised. "Everyone. Even Near!"

"Do we have to?" asked Matt. He hated big scenes.

"Yes we do!" insisted Mello. "Because I want the world to know that I love you. We're going to invite everyone. Even the President if I have to!"

"I really don't think you'll convince the president to come to our wedding." Matt mocked.

"He'll do it if he knows it's me calling him." Mello promised.

"Why don't you invite the whole of the Mafia and the FBI?" suggested Matt with sarcasm that traced ferociously.

"Why not?" asked Mello, tickling Matt's spine. "Then there'd be fighting just like the inlaws would. The FBI can be yours and the Mafia can be mine!"

"Right." Matt rolled his eyes. "I don't want the Mafia at our wedding. They'll just start fights!" frowned Matt. His hips were tight barely letting Mello move. He kissed Mello back now, slowly letting him lean in. Mello unbuckled Matt's belt slowly. Matt had insisted putting jeans on again after the night. Mello was slow now, he only pulled the jeans down slightly so that a bare amount of skin was shown. He ran his fingernails down, watching as Matt smiled. "Mello-"

Mello laughed slowly. "What is it Mattie?" He let his hand travel down to the boy's boxers. Why Matt had bothered putting them on he did not know. He tugged at them slightly. Matt breathed heavily now, wrapping his arms around Mello's neck. Mello planted another kiss on his lips, as he continued to roam. He led his hand down inside the boxers, but paused. "Oh Matt?" he asked.

"What?" asked Matt opening his eyes.

"Say my name." He asked, licking his lips. "Beg me." He ordered. "Scream it."

"Not fair.."

"Never have been." Smirked Mello.

"Why should I?" asked Matt, he grinned cockily.

"Then you will have to wait." Smirked Mello again.

"'Till when?" asked Matt curiously.

"Later." Mello breathed across Matt's face. He withdrew his hand and started to get dressed. "Can't have the neighbours wondering what we're up to in the middle of the day now can we?"

"You never complained before." Commented Matt.

Mello got dressed very slowly, as Matt lay back wondering why he bothered to wear clothing if it was going to get taken off anyway. Mello smiled. "Right I'm phoning Near now."

"You what?" demanded Matt, sitting upright.

"You heard me I'm phoning him now." He paused. "You'll make sure he doesn't trace it?"

"Yeah of course." Matt frowned confused.

"Good thing too." Smiled Mello. Matt wondered if he was high, he was never this..this happy. He flipped open the phone. "Ready?"

"Hold on!" begged Matt, trying to keep up. He ran to his laptop and feverishly started typing. "Right..ready.."

"N this is M." Mello spoke calmly. "I have more information for you." He paused while Matt assumed Near was speaking. "You are being invited to the wedding of myself and Matt...there's no date yet..after the Kira case is over..I think I will need some of L's inheritance money..good...I know it's not expected...yes...no!...I'm not stupid..you better not get killed by Kira before this wedding...good.." He hung up.

"Did you just do that?" gasped Matt.

"Hell yeah!" Smiled Mello.

"Jeez..what's up with you?" asked Matt. "Do we have to get married after the Kira case?"

"We can get married now if you want?" asked Mello. "Shall we?"

"That's not what I –"

"We can make it official soon if you want. But I want big things!"

"Right..." Matt trailed off.

"I need to go out!" insisted Mello. "I'll be back later alright?" he asked.

"Ok." Matt said as Mello started putting boots on. His tight leather pants made Matt wish he was screaming his name. "But Mello!"

"What?" demanded Mello, with the door half open.

"Put a shirt on please?" asked Matt.

"Fine!" Mello seemed happy. He put on a jacket, leaving his chest bare.

"Really Mello?" asked Matt.

"Hell yeah!" Smiled Mello. "Just don't get jealous! Oh and we're going out with Linda and Sara tonight."

"Are you serious?" asked Matt, still in bed.

"Yeah!" called Mello as the door slammed.

Moments later Matt's phone rang. It was Mello. "By the way, wear something smexy!" The line went dead.

Matt got dressed properly in jeans and a hoodie. Wondering what the hell Mello was up to. And obviously it was nothing good. He got to work tracing Jose's family, and got ready to make a phone call. Finally he found them.

Jose had grown up with his grandmother. His parents were dead. Matt wondered if Mello would have been a better friend to him if he had known that they were both orphans. Matt dialled the number, and waited for a few seconds for the phone to be answered. Finally a frail voice answered.

"Hello?"

"Is that Mrs Linn?" asked Matt. He sounded calmer than he was.

"Yes" The voice quavered. "Who is this?"

"This is.." Matt tried to think of a name. "..Touta Matsuda of the police force."

"Is it about James?" asked the voice.

"Mrs Linn, do you have an address I can contact you at?" asked Matt. The woman gave the address quickly, Matt thought he had better warn her not to give out details over the phone. He hoped Mello wouldn't mind him borrowing the car.

When he reached the Linn house he found he rather liked it. It was a bungalow that had a pale roof, and cream walls. He knocked on the door. An elderly woman answered. "Mrs Linn?" he asked.

"Who are you?" demanded the woman.

"Touta Matsuda." He flashed his fake badge that he had obtained.

"Come in." She smiled, gliding in. She offered him cookies and milk, which he forced himself to refuse. He'd changed into a suit, because people always trusted a man in a suit. "Have you found James?" she asked. She must have read the look on his face, because she gasped slightly, and sat down suddenly. "He's-He's?"

"I'm afraid your grandson is dead." Admitted Matt. "You are aware of the Kira case?"

"Y-yes? Kira killed him? But James..he was a good boy..always behaved for me...was he really a member of the mafia? Did he..did he kill people?"

"No." Lied Matt. "You're grandson died a hero. He died in the battle to bring down Kira."

"He was one of you?" the old lady's lip shook.

"Yes." Matt informed her.

"Thank you Mr Matsuda." The old lady sad, she smiled showing her laugh lines. "You've made me happy. Now I know he's safe."

"My thoughts are with you." Matt tried.

The woman shook her head, a lock of white hair falling down past her ear from it's tightly locked bun. "Tell me, did he die in pain?"

"No." Lied Matt. "My comrade was with him as he died. I'm sorry for your loss. But I'm afraid his body was destroyed in an explosion."

"Oh the horrible one on the news?" she asked, voice gentle now.

"Yes." Said Matt. "The one in LA."


	22. Chapter 22

**AN: I hope you like..remember to review? A question today, which pairings are the favs of you guys? Matt/Mello..Mello/Near..Near/B, or of course Light/L...even het pairings if they work well...just a question :D Review!**

Mello walked in on the men while they were eating. The woman had been easy to surprise, she wasn't concentrating and it wasn't her guarding the entrance. He'd knocked the gun out of her hand easily, but she'd tried to bite and call for help. Now he held the gun steady to her head. He spat onto the dusty floor. "Why isn't anyone guarding the entrance?" he asked.

The others were quicker to react. He may have caught them off guard but there were four of them in that room, and only one of him. Three guns, against him, whose gun was already being used. In any other situation he wouldn't doubt that they'd out the woman's life first. But right now he didn't reckon they'd hesitate to shoot him.

"Who are you?" demanded the first man, standing.

"I thought you were expecting me." Smirked Mello, confident.

"You're one of Rod's?" asked the man, his grip on the trigger loosened.

"Never let your guard down." Commanded Mello, he held tight to the girl. "Don't struggle darling."

"Are you one of Rod's?" repeated the man.

"Never was." Smiled Mello. "Because," his voice hushed. "Rod was one of mine."

"Code word." Demanded the same man.

"Are you in charge here?" asked Mello.

"Maybe." The man tried to be clever. Mello reckoned it didn't suit him.

"Right I'm giving you five seconds to give me your codeword." Mello countered. "And then, I'll forget about this trigger I'm holding and I'll accidentally pull it."

The men stared at him. They weren't going to react. "You first. You're the guest." Ordered the man.

"Five." Mello counted. "Four." He paused. "Three..two..one.." He pulled the gun away from the woman's head, and pointed it upwards. The echoing raced around the room for a few seconds.

"Why the hell did you do that?" demanded the leader.

"Because we need to talk." Smirked Mello. "Your codeword?" he asked.

"Scarlet Owl." The man muttered. He eyed the woman who whimpered slightly as Mello tightened his grip around her throat.

"Broken angel." Mello said in return. He let go of the woman shoving her over to the men. "Why the hell have you let your guard down?" he demanded.

"We-we—" the man started.

"Mello." Mello didn't put his gun down, simply held it in one hand as he thrust his hand out.

"Pete." The man who had done the talking and given the codeword nodded. "Jude, Daniel and this," he gestured to the woman. "Is Lea."

"She fights well." Commented Mello.

"Sit down, _Mello._" Pete said. He sat back down on the couch. "Do you want a drink?" he asked, lazily. On the small wooden table where what looked like the contents of what had been their dinner. A meal that had been a takeaway.

"I'm not here for pleasure, _Pete." _Mello pronounced the name in the same disgusted manner that Pete had said his.

"Lea fetch me a drink." Commanded Pete. But Mello stopped him.

"Lea go guard the door. And this time make sure you're actually looking the right way. Be a good girl and run along now." He winked, and shooed her away. She paused.

"Pete?" she asked. Obviously unsure of who's orders to follow. "Wait is he _the _Broken Angel?"

"What do you think, little girl?" asked Mello. "Now if you don't listen to people like me you get arrested or killed. Really want that? Didn't think so."

Pete nodded. "Do as the man says Lea." He ordered. "So, what brings you here?"

"As you know, I was in Rod's cell. But now that base has been destroyed, did you here about that?" he asked.

"Yeah. Police storm or something? Never thought Rod would be mad enough to blow himself up though. Shit dude, were you in it?" asked Jude.

"Shut up Jude." Daniel frowned. He looked younger than the other two.

"Where's everyone else?" Mello suddenly seemed to notice the lack of..people.

"Out." Smirked Jude. "You obviously don't know that much about our cell do you?"

"Do you think Rod was mad, to blow himself up?" asked Mello. He stood, pacing the room. The three men looked up at him.

"Fuck yeah." Jude seemed happier now. Pete looked up as if he was analyzing everything Mello said.

"Does he scare you?" asked Mello. He leaned in close to Jude's face. "Does he?"

"Anyone who does that to himself does. Duh.." Daniel rolled his eyes.

"Then be very afraid." Mello hissed. "Because that mad man happens to be me. And, that mad man is very very angry." He loaded his gun, smiling at them in the friendly manner he had entered.

"You destroyed the safe house?" demanded Pete. He stood now. "Why the hell did you do that?"

"The only way out. As your Jude told us, whoever would do something like that is mad. And I am very-very mad." Mello growled. He kicked the table, scattering the aluminium takeaway trays. "Because I do believe that I, Broken Angel sent you a recruit." He hissed, snakelike eyes becoming venomous.

"You mean that Rhys bloke?" asked Pete. "Sit down, relax Jude Daniel."

"Yes Daniel, Jude sit down and behave like good boys." Smiled Mello patronisingly. "Yes, the Rhys bloke."

"He was an undercover agent for the FBI." Jude commented. "He got one of our own caught."

"You mean Adam?" asked Mello. "I said do you mean Adam?" he shouted.

"Yeah." Pete commented. "The man was a good guy. Worked for us for a long time. Rhys and him went on a mission together, Adam got shot and arrested. That's when we found out Rhys was a spy."

"Did you have any proof?" asked Mello.

"He was selling us to the police. We found the phone calls." Pete said, he seemed sure of himself.

"I told you he was working for me." Mello shouted. "Do you know who I am?" he demanded.

"The Broken Angel." Pete muttered. "Men cower when they hear that name." He sounded as if he'd rehearsed it several times.

"Exactly." Mello pointed out. "I told you that man was one of mine. He was working against the FBI. He's who got me info about the police force. Why do you think that it's only Adam who's been caught since I've been working with your division? How many unplanned deaths have there been?"

"None." Pete murmured. "But he was a spy."

The other men remained silent. Mello stared at Pete, absorbing his dark grey lifeless eyes. They were cold, and dead. "How many times do I have to repeat it?" asked Mello. "He worked for me. And me alone. He was one of mine."

"We didn't know that." Muttered Pete. Jude made a small agreeing sound like a frightened child.

"He had a fiancé." Mello bellowed. "He had a fiancé who is almost five months pregnant. There was a woman, waiting at home for him to come back. I only let him take these mafia tasks because I assured her he was safe. And now I find out my own have shot him?"

"We didn't know." Jude echoed. "Dude, chill..we can give her cash..keep her an income.."

"No amount of money can bring back the dead!" Shouted Mello, his skin stretched taunt over his cut. It looked grotesque, as if he had a deformity.

"It was a quick death." Promised Jude.

"No it wasn't." Mello screamed. "It was far from it. You left him, bleeding to death. Even if he was a spy you don't give him the chance to run."

"We're sorry." Jude repeated.

"Jude, short for Judas?" asked Mello. "The one who gave the messiah away?" he asked.

"I'm not my namesake." Jude promised.

"Oh yeah. Which one of you pulled the trigger? Come on. Which one of you? Was it you Daniel in the lions den? Or was it you Peter, the man who denied knowing Christ? Judas, Peter and Daniel. So which one of you pulled the trigger?"

"Sir, Broken Angel..sir.." Jude tried. "It was an order."

"And who gave that order?" demanded Mello.

"I did." Pete squared up to Mello. "Do you have a problem with that?" he asked.

"Yes I do." Mello shook his head. "And it's sir to you. Because if you didn't notice I have a lot of leverage in the ranks. I worked my way up from nothing, to running this organisation. In four years."

"Sir..Please..I pulled the trigger.." Jude admitted.

"Was it your first kill?" asked Mello. "The first time you felt blood on your hands?"

Jude nodded, silently. "We didn't know, alright?" Daniel stood up for him.

"I bet it felt real good though didn't it. Was that why it was an amateur job, am I right? You made a mistake. Didn't shoot quite right. Did he beg for his life, or did he say nothing. But you left him dying in the gutter, and that is something you shouldn't have done." Mello promised, hissing through his teeth. He raised the gun to the boys head, as he felt the body shaking.

"..I'm sorry.." Mello pulled the trigger. He'd known it was a blank, he just wanted to feel the boy wince preparing for pain.

"You're forgiven." Mello promised. "But listen here, does Peter know what happens to men who disobey the angel?"

Pete gritted his teeth. "Jude restrain him please." He ordered. Three against one, he'd be easy to take.

"Jude sit down and stay there." Commanded Mello. "Do not disobey me, as you will see what happens to people who do that."

"Daniel..?" Pete tried, backing away. His gun was on the table, where he'd left it. Out of reach now. He faced Mello refusing to shut his eyes or beg for help. "Give me another chance." He tried.

"You've had three." Mello said, he scowled. "The same number of times you denied knowing Jesus. I am not the messiah. But you have denied my bidding three times. Three times is enough."

"You're fucked up." Pete commented. "Daniel, Jude there are two of you."

Mello clicked the gun. And steadied his already shaking hand, directly to the man's head. "You will not deny the lord a fourth time. I understand you are human, you are afraid. But that is not an excuse. Peter you denied knowledge of the Lord three times, that was unforgivable."

"You're mad!" Pete begged. "This isn't the Bible mate, this is real life!"

"Exactly." Said Mello. "Which is why when I pull the trigger you are going to die."

"You wou—"

The gunshot echoed throughout the room, Lea came running. She stopped and gasped when she saw the body of the man laying slumped on the floor. Blood spattered the wall behind him, the bullet now part of the wall. "Go back to the door!" Shouted Mello.

The men stared at Mello, in awe and in terror. "You ju-"

"You can't do th-"

Mello cut them both off. "I want you and Jude to get out of here. I want you to have a good life, and a good time. The Mafia will not come after you. You're going to take Lea with you, and you're going to deny knowing me. Understand?"

Daniel nodded. "Did Pete have family?" he asked, his eyes wide open. His hands were cupped to his ears slightly. It didn't look like he'd heard a gun go off before.

"Nope. I made sure of that." The Broken Angel promised. "I want you to pack what you need. The police are going to be here soon, after I call them." He smiled at his own intelligence

"What the fuck?" demanded Jude. "Why the hell are you going to call them yourself?"

"So people know, what happens to people who don't obey the Broken Angel." Mello frowned, he seemed almost possessed. "Jude you have your mother, she'll be waiting for you by this train station." He handed him a piece of paper with an address on it.

"I'm nineteen, I haven't spoken to her for four years. Since I ran away." Jude protested.

"And she misses you." The Broken Angel commanded. "She wants you back. She's been waiting at this station every day, for the past two years. Even on Christmas day, at two o clock. Because that's when you first disappeared."

Jude nodded. "Mum.." he breathed, sitting down slowly. He stared at the blood and gore that was splattered across the wall.

"And you!" Mello stopped and turned towards Daniel. "You. No family known of right?" he asked. "You and Lea are a good team, am I correct? Well you will be! This is the address that you are working for. Please remember that Broken Angel sent you. And by the way, no getting involved with the mafia again." He paused. "The Broken Angel has spoken."


	23. Chapter 23

**AN: Quick question..should I up this to M rated? Because yeah it is mature content, but surely teenagers are expected to be somewhat mature..**

When Mello got back Matt was already asleep. Or so he thought, he tried to be as quiet as he could as he slowly stripped and got into bed with him, but he found that Matt rolled over and looked at him for a long moment before speaking. He automatically noticed Mello's grim expression.

"What happened to happy this morning?" murmured Matt.

"Nothing." Mello whispered back, he pulled the covers around him because he found himself shaking.

Matt smiled slightly, he shook his hair, it was damp. Must have showered, thought Mello. He was actually a little jealous that he'd missed it. He'd have to decide later who he was jealous of. "Got to be something." He murmured. It was obvious he was half asleep. "What time is it?" he asked, eyes still half shut.

"Half three." Mello commented as he threw his phone to the floor. "In the morning that is. Not the afternoon."

"I got that." Matt grinned at Mello.

"Oh and it's the twenty third of November." He informed Matt as he settled into the bed. Letting the soft cushion absorb his weight.

"What's up?" asked Matt. Mello stood up, feeling like he had just received the worst hangover in the history of hangovers. And he'd had some pretty bad ones. But he knew he hadn't been drinking. He'd just got back. His head pounded now as he raced for the bathroom. He had to remember where the bathroom in the small apartment was first, finally he found it and emptied the contents of his stomach into the toilet. With the offending contents expelled, he felt a tinsy bit better but he felt drowsy still. He tried to analyse the symptoms but didn't succeed it. He sat back on the bed, after using the antibacterial mouthwash that Matt had insisted buying. He got back into the bedroom, and Matt stared at him.

"Your breath stinks." Matt commented slightly amused. "You eat something bad?" he asked.

Mello sat down, and shook his head. "Do you have any aspirin or anything?" he asked in response. The headache, migraine whatever it was seemed to blow his brain into small pieces.

"Shit Mello, you're bleeding!" Matt drew his hand away from Mello's chest. He had flicked the light on, and now he noticed the blood that seeped from Mello's chest. "Did you get into—?" he didn't finish the sentence, because as he wiped the blood away he saw that the cuts were made in a particular shape.

"Maybe.." Mello paused, looking at his fingers that were coated in crimson. "But the blood on the shirt isn't mine.."

Matt looked alarmed now. "Are you on something?" he demanded.

"It's probably because I'm not on anything." Mello admitted. "I feel sick, I can barely move about."

Matt returned shortly with two aspirins and a bottle of cool spring water. Once Mello had swallowed them he continued to talk. He inspected Mello from face to throat. "What do you mean it's not your blood?" he asked looking at the shirt.

"It's a guy called Pete's." Mello murmured.

Matt was awake now. He looked in horror at Mello's slashed chest. He grabbed his chin looking at Mello's diluted eyes. "Are you sure you haven't took anything?" he demanded. "Who's Pete?" he asked.

"I am the Broken Angel." Mello smiled, he lay back his arms outspread as if he were placed on a cross. "The Broken Angel."

"Mello please let me see your chest." Matt begged. He stared at the gashes trying to estimate how deep they are. "Who's Pete?" he repeated.

"A man I trusted. One of the disciples, he denied knowing Jesus three times. Because he was human, but then he regretted it. Sadly three times were too many. Peter I trusted with a task. The Broken Angel trusted him." He paused as he stared at Matt with bright blue eyes. "And Peter failed three times. He gave the order to kill Rhys Mattie. He had Rhys killed."

"You—?" asked Matt.

Mello nodded. "I killed him." He giggled softly. "I killed him. First I played him, then I beat him, now I've killed him. He didn't do much wrong. Only doing what I'd do. But I had him killed!"

"You didn't pull the trigger though did you?" asked Matt.

"Yes I did." Mello promised. "I made him worship me first. And then, I pulled the trigger. Brains all over the wall." He laughed. "I killed him." He sobbed now.

"Shh.." Matt soothed. He ran his fingers through Mello's hair, massaging the aching scalp in a display of affection. Mello smiled back and leaned into the beautiful caress.

"Did you do what I asked you to do?" Mello's voice choked.

"What?" asked Matt.

Mello seemed impatient now. "I asked you to do a task for me. Find Mrs Linn?"

"Oh yeah." Matt didn't seem focused. "Yes I did that."

"What did you tell her?" demanded Mello.

"I'm a detective called Touta Matsuda. James died in order to bring down Kira."

"That all?" asked Mello. He grinned slightly, feeling a thousand goosebumps forming on his arms.

"What did you do to your chest?" asked Matt. He had worked out that the blood was dried, made hours previously maybe.

"I cut myself." Mello admitted completely. "Accidentally."

"Hrmph!" Matt laughed sadly. "Bull." He murmured, tracing his fingers along Mello's chest. "What is it, a cross?"

"The crucifix." Mello informed Matt.

"And it was an accident?" Matt raised his eyebrows. He continued to run his fingers through Mello's hair. "I'm sorry." He smiled.

"Why are you sorry?" asked Mello, frowning.

"Because you did that to yourself. You're such an idiot, know that?" he asked.

Mello leaned onto Matt, so that his head fit into the perfect crook in his shoulder. "I'm sorry too." He promised.

Matt sighed. "I'm the younger so I'm meant to be the temperamental one." He frowned in an anxious way.

"Hrm?" asked Mello. "Younger, by a month." He stuck his tongue out.

"I love you." Whispered Matt.

Mello shook his head. "Love doesn't exist." He muttered.

"It can." Matt promised in a silky soft voice.

The darkness seemed to engulf them, making them feel incredibly comfortable. The only lights were the headlights of cars that wandered freely around the room every once in a while. They distracted Mello as he followed them. "Love doesn't exist between people like us." He sadly smiled. "It just doesn't work does it?" he asked.

"What do you mean?" asked Matt, he frowned too now. He pulled away from Mello slightly, so that he could look at him.

"I can't wait until we get married." Mello murmured. "I want to prove to you that I do love you as much as humanely possible."

Matt gave him a questioning look. "What do you mean? I thought you said love doesn't exist.."

"Love doesn't. What we have is not love. But it-it.." Mello couldn't finish the sentence.

"This morning I said I wouldn't scream your name." Whispered Matt, in a snake like fashion. "But I'm willing to scream your name now.." He trailed off, his voice lowering so that he was whispering inaudibly into Mello's ear.

Mello turned over. "I honestly can't be bothered tonight." He said. "If you're screaming my name, I won't be listening."

"Then you're going to be uke." Matt promised. "I want you, to whisper my name. Then you're going to shout it, you're going to beg me. Understand?" he asked. He slid his hand up Mello's neck grabbing hold of the gorgeous locks. "You're beautiful." He promised again, pulling away for a second before trailing kisses down the skin.

"I know." Mello returned. He kissed Matt back on the lips, letting their tongues collide. The sweet tingling as their breath mixed joining for a second, then escaping to their lungs. Matt's hands where everywhere, in Mello's hair, on his bum, his chest, everywhere.

Mello pulled off Matt's shirt and threw it to the ground violently. Matt started to undo the pants that Mello always wore. Even if he stripped everything else. The leather pants came off. And then Matt's were unzipped and hit the floor with a thud. Mello stripped Matt until they were both naked, and Mello was shaking. Not because of the cold, but because he was scared. He'd done this a thousand times, yet now he was scared. For some stupid reason. He felt as if this were going to prove something, to prove that Matt loved him.

He smashed his lips against Matt's, as Matt's hands slithered down, squeezing hard as he groaned. The kiss was slow and slightly gentle first, but soon it became needing. They relied on each other to continue living. Matt whispered such words to Mello that he'd never heard the other utter before. They were kissing fast and aggressive, as Mello pulled away tears in eyes. "Did I hurt you?" asked Matt worried. He wasn't sure why, because Mello was used to being uke and they hadn't even started yet. Perhaps he had been to rough.

"No." Mello shook his head. "Please..carry..on.." he begged.

Matt slowly stroked Mello, like a cat he knew how to do it just right. He smiled each time Mello groaned, smirking as Mello moaned. He watched as Mello's back arched, he clasped Mello's sweaty hand in his. "Do you..like this?" he asked Mello moving his hand. Mello nodded, smiling in desire. "Then scream my name."

Mello shook his head lips sealed. It was all part of the game. "Why should I?" he asked.

Matt twisted around, pushing Mello over, so that he almost rolled off the bed. "Because, if you scream I can do more than just this."

"M-Matt!" Mello writhed as Matt's hands wandered furiously.

"Louder than that surely.." Matt's voice was as smooth as his touch. He could hear the clock ticking loudly in the background. As Mello called, Matt smiled. "That's better." He whispered to Mello's ear. Matt felt the pleasure as he bit the boys back. He was in charge and dominant this time, and he wanted to hear Mello beg.

"P-please Matt. I n-neeed you. PLEASE!"

Bruises and bitemarks had always been a tell tale sing. Matt grinned as Mello begged, and finally consented. "Let me know if it's too much for you Mells.." He murmured knowing that nothing would ever be enough.

Mello quivered as Matt pushed himself into him more, and felt his obsession shake with pleasure. Mello whimpered with excitement and moaned. Matt smiled again now. "More.." Was the only word that he murmured.

Matt wanted to scream and pushed himself harder into Mello. Clawing at him, as Mello whimpered in a mixture of pain and pleasure. Mello allowed Matt to have his way, and stayed almost silent apart from the occasional whimper. When Matt licked Mello's ear he had to moan. He'd never loved anyone this much before. But he certainly didn't want to stop.

Matt found the soft spot and Mello all but screamed. Mello refused to open his mouth, until Matt forced him to moan his name. "M-Matt.." Hearing the name uttered, Matt held him tighter. He enjoyed the cries. "MATT!"

Finally Mello's back arched completely off the ground as he reached the climax. He cried for more. Matt wandered whether to give in to Mello's greed. He listened to the moans, better than anything he'd imagined before. Mello wandered why he wasn't uke more often. Mello panted slightly, clawing at the sheets not caring if he ripped them to pieces or shreds. Barely able to remain conscious from the pleasure, barely able to think straight.

Matt stopped for a bare moment as he kissed Mello's body passionately before he thrust himself deeper and harder. Mello screamed louder and more. Matt smiled. As he stopped Mello pushed him over, engaging him in a backward bear hug.

"My turn.." Whispered Mello, biting Matt's neck. He brought his tongue along the red mark, before Matt growled as it slowly turned to a moan.


	24. Chapter 24

It was a week after Rhys's death, when the police let Linda have his body for a burial. They'd taken enough photo's, and enough samples to last them. There really was nothing much more they could do. They suspected it was the mafia that had committed the crime, but Mello had given them an anonymous tip off, telling them it was Pete. He also told them that a man who went by the name of Broken Angel had killed Pete. This didn't really make much difference to him, he was on no one's side. He knew who had killed Rhys, and he'd taken the matter into his own hands. The law just had to deal with the formalities.

The funeral itself was a small affair. Grey clouds scattered across the skies, hiding the sun from view. It wasn't a particularly dark day, but it was dismal, grey and miserable. The perfect atmosphere for a funeral. The funeral was tiny, as Rhys had no family bad Linda there was only four of them and the vicar actually at it. The Police Force and the FBI had decided to stay away. And as Rhys had no partner there wasn't anyone who should have attended or anyone who saw it in their duty to. But as Mello rode back to Linda's tiny house (she had finally brought the place she and Rhys had been looking at) he felt a strange sense of happiness.

When he got there the place was packed. He spotted Linda talking to two men ,who had been on Rhys's team, in a corner. Sara was drifting in between people. It seemed like most of the Mafia members were there, crammed into the small living room, and Linda and Rhys's friends. It seemed odd, because Mello hadn't really thought of them having a social life outside Wammy's. He started to walk towards Linda, he hadn't been able to talk to her much at the funeral. He wanted to know why she hadn't warned him that there'd be so many people there, but perhaps she hadn't thought to. He wandered where the hell Matt was. Suddenly Sara was grabbing him by the arm and dragging him into a backroom. "Stay here." She commanded. He did as he was told.

The room was smaller than the tiny living room. A kitchen, that held a square silver fridge, a gas oven and a small sink. One cupboard for food, and one cupboard for cutlery. The table Mello recognised, he'd been told by Rhys it was a wedding present from Roger. It had the motto of Wammy's house engraved around it's edges. It looked out of place in the plastic filled room. Beside it Matt sat, head in hands.

"Did you know the FBI were going to be here?" he asked shaking his head.

"I don't think Linda knew to be honest." Smiled Mello. "So, we're waiting for them to disappear?" he asked.

"Yep." Matt nodded.

"Do you think they know that they're this close to one of the world's most wanted Mafia bosses?" he asked calmly. "Or one of the greatest illegal hackers of all time?"

Matt smirked. "Rhys would have found that hilarious."

Outside the small kitchen the chatter was unstopping. People had flooded in to pay their respects, saying similar things to Linda. "Terribly young," "And with a baby due as well," "You poor thing," They said the same things over and over. Suddenly the chatter stopped, and Mello looked as alarmed as Matt. He couldn't see through walls, but he could hear that the noise there had been had stopped. An unnatural silence. And then, as if there was need for something to break the silence the shattering of glass.

Mello hushed Matt's gasp, and loaded his gun with a snap. He readied it, and made his way to the wooden door painted white. The paint had peeled off in some places, making it look old. The door was slightly ajar, and Mello pushed it further open.

A scared looking young man stood in the room full of agents and, as Mello noted, some of them were criminals that Wammy's had spawned. All together in one room it looked dangerous. But it was obvious the man was some kind of police agent, he was holding his arms up in some form of admittance. Sara was looking at him.

But Linda marched over to him and gave him a deadly look. "Why are you here?" she demanded.

The man paused, running a hand through his hair. "I-I'm here for the Police force..we thought it would be...they thought...better to come in person..than to send..you know...a card.."

"You shouldn't have come here." Linda frowned. Suddenly drug dealers, gangsters and all over the other 'friends' had become very silent.

"I'm sorry." Matsuda promised. "Rhys Smith was a good man. He did not deserve to die. Our regards are with you."

Sara spoke up, putting a hand onto his chest. "Touta this isn't the time." She smiled sadly as she did.

"Mr Matsuda," Linda addressed him. "I think you should leave." She smiled.

"I worked with Rhys for a month.." Matsuda muttered. "He was a good man."

"That is why I married him." Linda smirked. "Mr Matsuda you need to go."

"But..I..I'm sorry...It could have been me...well it couldn't because I'm not married yet...but I know how it feels to lose someone you love.." Matsuda managed, in one breath even though he did hesitate.

"Mr Matsuda please have a drink for coming, then you need to leave." She smiled.

"If Touta is leaving he should leave now." Sara interrupted. "Please, Touta I don't think it's time now, we have later."

"I'm sorry." Matsuda apologised. "I-I'll go."

"That would be best." Linda smiled, she held the door for him and watched as he left.

Mello reckoned that at least half the population of the room had unloaded their guns one the Police man left. He smiled, thinking about what an idiot the man was. He'd been in a room full of genii and criminals, and hadn't noticed. Well there was also the FBI agents that hadn't noticed, so perhaps he wasn't such an idiot after all.

"Touta's sweet." Protested Sara as Linda turned back.

"His suit probably cost more than this house." She commented. "Besides, where was he when Rhys was shot?" she asked. "Where was the police when that happened? Where were they when my parents died? Where were they for the first seven years of my life 'till I came to Wammy's huh?" she demanded.

Suddenly Mello's phone buzzed, and he knew it couldn't be good. It was the Mafia phone that couldn't be good, or ignored. He paused as he checked it, and nodded to Matt. Pushing the door open he pulled the hood higher onto his face as he located Linda who was still shouting at Sara. He pushed between them. "Linds, I've had a call I need to get going." She looked up at him.

"I understand. I didn't know they'd be here. Come back later, 'right?" she asked, folding her hands across her chest as if she'd caught him staring. Sara stared blankly at the wall.

"I will. When they've all gone, all right?" he asked, he gave her a peck on the cheek she smiled gratefully.

"Matt going with you?" demanded Sara.

"I'm with Mello." He smiled. He gave Linda a peck on the cheek, and attempted to kiss Sara's. She put her hand in the way, withdrawing so that the blouse she wore opened slightly. Her hand flew to the buttons, redoing it so that there was barely anything visible. She gave Matt a look of disgust as if he'd pulled her top down.

"Oh, and sort it out." Mello ordered, he turned for the door giving them one last look as he pulled Matt after him. Very careful not to stand on anyone big who had a gun's feet. Mello reloaded before leaving, with a click he headed out the door and for his bike. Matt had rode with Linda, and now there was the how where they going to position themselves. "Well you'll just have to hold on tight," Mello promised. He handed the helmet to his other half, smiling as Matt's grip tightened around his waist.

They found the place very, very easily. It was made easy to find, and Mello reckoned it was some kind of test. But his theory did have holes in it. Broken Angel was the man that ran the mafia, people cowered when they heard his name. The suicide bomber who'd tried to blow up their base had frozen from a single look from the Broken Angel, and had held his thumb on the detonator until he got out. People wanted to be with Broken Angel or at least on his good side. What he didn't like about the location was that there were easy places to hide. As if they wanted to give you a chance to break in.

Mello had parked in a nearby alleyway. He'd rolled the bike out of reach, and pocketed the keys. He had made sure it had the mark of the Angel on it. He knew he was good at stealth, hell he hadn't been caught before. But he knew that they would also know that Broken Angel was the best. He worried about Matt though, because he wasn't too sure how good the man would be. But that was his benefit, because neither did the opposition. So Mello smiled at the security camera that was in plain sight, then he grinned at the one that was hidden.

He cocked his gun, and nodded for Matt to do the same. He counted down back to the wall, then started firing. The guards weren't trained well, but they suddenly jumped to attention. Probably been expecting to be attacked in stealth. With sneaky people sneaking around. But Mello often found the better way to do things was in a suicidal way. But he wasn't giving Matt a chance to die for him. Besides, the guards were probably wandering who was suicidal enough to march up and start shooting. And if that person wasn't actually crazy, he must have had incredibly skills.

Confusion ran through them and worked for Mello's benefit. Besides, he actually wanted to get caught. That was the point. He didn't bother counting how many there actually were. Simply continued shooting until nobody was left to fire at him. Apart from Matt of course. But he doubted Matt was about to start firing at him. He reloaded his gun, and looked at Matt. "Did you not actually fire that weapon?" he demanded. Seven men lay dead at Mello's feet.

Once they were in the building he found there were no additional guards. He found the right room easily, making sure he entered first not Matt. It could be a trap and he didn't intend for Matt to be blown to smithereens any time soon. He was actually almost disappointed that it hadn't been a booby trap. He was in the mood to do some old fashioned time bomb disarming, excitement was lacking in his life. As they neared the centre of the room, a creak of a floor board made them whip around.

Mello whipped around just in time, firing at the guy who materialised behind him. Just as he raised the gun Mello hit him between the eyes, as he crumpled into a pile onto the floor blood spattering the wall a piece of skull flying out behind him. There were seven other men around now, and this time they were armed.

"Drop your gun." Ordered the one who cocked his own.

Mello swore silently under his breath, bending down and placing the gun on the ground. He smirked slightly through the thick mass of golden hair as he straightened up again. He nodded. "I dropped it, now what?" he asked.

The man doing the ordering sighed, and looked uncomfortable. But he didn't lower his own weapon. Neither did the others. But if Mello had been actually surrounding someone he would have shot the person in the middle, not hung around to talk. "And you." The man waved the gun at Matt.

Matt laughed slightly. He dropped the gun to the floor loaded. The man who was almost hit by the blood from the shot man swore. "Don't just drop it, you could hurt someone!"

"He said drop it." Matt smirked. "And I always follow orders."

They made a circle around the two men. A really stupid move, as Matt knew. Because Mello had explained that a circle made it easier to hit one another than the target. For neither of them had been in the building before, neither of them knew the way out. It was easier to block the exit. But know a circle must have been an idea that they liked. Matt smiled, wandering whether he should remove his goggles. Mello almost laughed, if they knew who they were talking to they'd be grovelling.

"I'm not stupid." Promised the snarling man. "Drop all of your weapons." His face was suitable to play poker. Except that Matt could see through him and his soul.

"Neither am I." Smiled Mello. He toyed with a bit of his hair, in the annoying manner that Near did so often. He chuckled, a sound he wasn't used to hearing. He bent down, almost like a stripper and placed another gun on the floor. Then a knife. He still had his third gun in his boot, and he had the knife that was tight to his belt. It wasn't bad.

"_All of them?"_ asked the man again. He seemed to think his tone was intimidating. It was the opposite.

Matt shook his head. "Oh and me!" he added in the tone a child might request he be allowed to continue colouring. He placed his knife on the floor, knowing full well he had a gun backup.

The guy raised an eyebrows, and Mello raised his arms to show he had nothing hidden. As he did this Matt drew his gun and quite neatly shot the man in the heart. Mello hit the dirt floor as the other men shot each other for them. Mello had to say he loved friendly fire. He casually picked up the guns he'd put on the floor and stashed them back on his person. He stood up slowly, nodding to Matt and walked to the door they had not come in from. He knocked on it.

"That was quick." A voice came from within. "Did you succeed?"

Mello kicked the door open, raising his gun pointing it at the head of a man who simply sat behind the desk looking as if he was enjoying himself. "Oh, it's you." The man frowned.

Mello snorted. "Really?" he asked. "Seven guards, plus seven men. Disposable right?"

"And four cameras." The man pouted slightly. "So look at me, what do you think?" he asked.

The man was blonde, and had a small head compared to his body. His feet rested on the table, and he lay back on the leather chair. He was tall and a big build, with a pointed chin that made him look older than he was. He acted as if nothing had happened as Mello spoke. "Impressive." He frowned.

"Then you should have been ready." The man smirked, as Mello felt a gun being cocked against his own head.

"Let Matt go." Commanded Mello.

"And what, shoot you?" asked the man.

"You could." Mello smiled, breathing sharply.

"Then, tell me..why shouldn't I shoot you?"

"Shoot me now then you son of a bitch." Mello ordered.

Acting like that hadn't happened either he clicked his fingers, and Mello felt the gun being removed from his head. He span around to see that there had only been one other man in the room with him. "I love that." Smiled the man laughing. "Oh, Callum can you go now? Be a good boy."

"What?" demanded Mello. Callum retreated hastily.

"So how'd it go?" asked the man. "How many guards did you get?"

"You tell me." Smirked Mello. "They were yours. And you already know that I passed you're thick test with flying colours." He frowned. "Now I want that file."

"Good lad. What's your name by the way?" asked the man again, he smiled. "I'm the Steward. And I like the likes of you. Cocky beyond belief. Suicidal even. I mean, even to succeed to get in here's quite amazing."

"Broken Angel." Mello informed.

"And you?" asked the Steward.

"Oh..I just tag along.." Matt informed.

"Amazing!" the Steward commented. "I have never heard of anyone who tags along with the Broken Angel." He paused as his eyes widened. "You mean _the _Broken Angel?"

"What do you think?" asked Mello.

"I-I'm sorry!" He uttered the words. "So sorry Sir!"

Mello grabbed the folder, spinning on his heel and walked out. He sent his hair flying in all directions, the golden locks contrasting with his dark leather. He ordered Matt to follow him, they were heading back to the apartment. But he knew they weren't going to do a lot of sleeping that night.


	25. Chapter 25

" Matt!" Mello smiled as he closed the door, surprising his partner as he wrapped his arms around his waist. He kissed the man's neck slowly and carefully.

"Hey Mells," Matt smiled. He leaned back kissing Mello on the lips. "Did you get that task done?"

"That's why there's all that thunder and lightning." Mello smiled. "Nope, I got it done. Who thought the Police Force were this stupid?" he asked.

"I know." Smiled Matt. He'd been watching one of them, and it was obvious the man was an imbecile.

"I need you to start watching Misa Amane tomorrow." Mello commented.

"Why are you wet?" Matt got sidetracked.

"Why the hell do you think?" Asked Mello, pushing away slightly. "Could it be..raining?" he demanded pointing outside.

Matt chuckled slightly, as he turned around so he didn't have to strain his neck. He faced Mello, giving him the smile that he knew Mello had loved since they met. He lifted Mello's chin, so that their noses almost touched, and Mello was looking up slightly. He could feel the warmth of his breath spilling onto his lip, he parted his lips slightly and lent into him. Wielding the soft strength of the kiss, fiery and hard. His tongue struggled in Mello's mouth, he felt their souls becoming attached to another's. Soft lips against soft. Funny thing, Matt had always thought Mello's lips would be rough like his soul. But it turned out they were beautiful and smooth. Matt always wandered whether Mello's soul was softer than it looked too.

Mello started to take Matt's goggles off, but they snapped back to his head. "Don't take them off." Murmured Matt. "Not yet." Mello mumbled something that was impossible to understand before he disappeared into the kitchen. Matt sat back down on the bed, pulling out the game console he'd been working on and soon became engrossed with the addicting colours and flashing sounds. He didn't realise Mello had come back in, until his game was snatched out of his hand.

Mello smiled, an evil smile. "Come and get it, Gamer." He grinned wickedly.

Matt growled. "Give it back!" He ordered stepping up.

Mello smiled. "Are you in the mood?"

"Not for this!" Matt interrupted. "Give it back!"

Mello waved it about. "You said in your message you were bored."

"Then let's do stuff."

Matt kept his face straight trying not to react. "Not with my game."

Mello twirled his gun softly with his fingers. "I could easily pull the trigger." He smiled, jokingly.

"You wouldn't." Matt sagged.

"I know." Mello grinned cheekily. Matt raised an eyebrow at the blonde. Mello frowned in a stern way. "I'm not in the mood tonight."

Matt's eyes were truly like a puppies. Well they would have been if he wasn't wearing goggles. But he had other ways to win over the mafia leader. "Aw, only kissing?" he asked.

"Maybe." Mello lowered his voice, and clicked the safety back onto his gun.

Matt frowned. "No fun." He paused. "Something wrong?" he asked.

"Need my fix." Mello commented.

Matt hesitated again. "Nicotine?" he asked.

"Nah, don't smoke." Mello frowned. "Not chocolate either." Mello stayed silent for a moment, questions that he wanted to ask pouring into his head.

"What's wrong?" asked Matt again. He repeated the question.

"Are you bored of me?" asked Mello suddenly.

"What? Of course not." Matt promised. "Why would I be?"

"No reason." Mello stayed silent after saying that. Afraid that if he opened his mouth he'd say more. He lay back slightly, dragging Matt with him.

"I hope you're ok." Matt told Mello, hair falling into his goggles.

"Tell me why," Mello started "you where those goggles? Tell me again." He murmured softly.

The redhead sighed, using his rough finger to trace the beautiful lips. Wanting so much to be bonded with the other forever. He stroked the man's neck for a second then looked at him. Slowly, he pulled the goggles away. "This is why." He whispered.

Mello turned to face him properly. "I don't understand." The sound barely left his lips.

The ocean like eyes stared back at him. Perfect eyelashes lining them, they stared at him like a tigers from the night. Like flashlights piercing through the darkness in his soul, finding someone who had been lost. Because that truly was what Mello was, a lost child. A bird who broke a wing, and needed help to fly. That's what Matt's eyes did, they launched broken angels back to heaven and taught birds to fly. But he shook his head as he reached for the mirror he liked to keep beside the bed. "Can't you see the colour of my eyes?" he asked.

Mello pulled the duvet around them, so they were spooning like two spoons in a cutlery drawer. He held the mirror for Matt, showing the icy eyes that stared back. "They're green." Mello murmured. "They're so innocent. And very, very beautiful." He smiled, widening his own eyes in the mirror, the blue shining slightly.

Matt shook his head. "They're not green." He objected, his wide lips pouted.

"What are you on about?" The fondness in Mello's voice echoed. "Your eyes, are beautiful."

Matt shook his head again, as Mello let the mirror drop onto the silky sheets. "They're not green." He echoed. "They're grey."

Mello stared at Matt's intense eyes, wandering where the conversation was going. "Your eyes," he murmured slowly, "are your best feature. They're so deep, I get lost in them." He smiled slightly, in a dream like fashion. "They're almost hypnotic." He whispered. "Mail Jeevas, I could stare into your eyes for a thousand years and not get bored. They hypnotise me, but they're soft too. Like a kitten."

"My eyes, are like a kittens?" Matt raised his eyebrow slightly. "Be serious." He begged.

"I am." Mello promised.

"So am I." Matt paused for a second. "My eyes aren't beautiful, they're scary."

"They're not." Mello swore. "They're more like a teddy bears jewels, than a serpents eyes you know."

"Mello they're not green." Matt protested. "They were to start with. But they've changed. They used to be verdant but now they're bad. They're so dark now," he held his hand to his face shuddering slightly. "Can't you see them?"

Mello turned Matt so that he faced him. "There's nothing wrong with your eyes."

Matt shook his head. "I look at them in the mirror, and it's like a murderer's looking back." He frowned. "Mells I've only killed a few people that deserved it. Blood on my hands I'm used to. But only when it's necessary."

"Your eyes do not belong to any murder." Mello smiled reassuringly. "Your eyes are beautiful." He repeated.

"Yeah they do." Matt repeated. He decided he was fighting a losing battle. "I hate them."

"Well I don't." Mello insisted.

"They're bloodshot, and dark. They belong to a demon. They're evil." Matt shook slightly. "It doesn't matter."

Mello held the mirror in one hand and slammed his fist into it with the other. He realised his hands was bleeding, and simply clenched it. "Better?" he demanded.

"Why the fuck did you do that?" asked Matt, cradling Mello's hand gently.

"Sorry Matt." Mello croaked. "But the mirror was telling you lies." He took a piece of the glass slowly, and dragged it along his already blood covered skin.

Matt clenched his fist. "The mirror wouldn't lie to me." He promised. His face crinkled in disgust. "Please don't do that." He asked.

Mello threw the glass shards to the floor as the blood poured from his knuckles and arm. Matt gasped slightly. "I'm sorry." Mello promised.

Matt shook his head. "That was stupid wasn't it?" he asked.

Mello looked up and whispered in a gentle tone. "The mirror can't lie anymore. It'll be fine."

Matt hugged Mello close to him. "Don't do it again. 'k?"

Mello's eyes showed that he understood. "I won't." His voice was slightly weak. "Are you ok?"

"I'm…..fine…" Matt said , shaking his head.

"Na, you're not." Mello corrected.

"Neither are you." Matt countered.

"Agreed." Mello agreed. He stared at the goggles dangling in Matt's hand. "Pass me your goggles."

Matt tilted his head slightly. "Why?" he asked slowly passing the goggles. Mello slipped the tinted plastic over his eyes. "Why are you wearing them?" he laughed a quiet secret laugh.

"What's so good about them?" asked Mello. He turned his head, he looked like a lost mole.

"They hide my eyes." Matt suggested.

"Hrm." Mello scowled. "You remember at Wammy's, right?"

"No Mello, I've forgotten all about being at Wammy's." Matt rolled his eyes. "What about it?" he asked.

Mello shrugged. "Wammy's, I never thought I'd be doing anything after it. You know what I mean?" he asked.

Matt nodded. "Right. You never thought you'd end up in bed with me."

Mello shook his head. "I wished that." He winked, stroking Matt's hair with one hand. "But I never thought I'd end up like this." He gestured around. "With the Mafia. You know. Doing this."

"Hrm." Matt paused. "Those goggles look good on you."

Mello blinked several times, before taking them off and laying them aside. "I don't know why you wear them. Leave them off for now." He paused and before Matt could protest he met the man's lips. "Your eyes are nice." He smiled. "I like your eyes."

"You know I'm following you to my grave." Matt pointed out. "You know that right? Whatever crazy scheme you come up with I'm going to follow you. I'll die, not today or tomorrow, but one day. You know that right?"

"You're not dying for me." Mello promised.

"Yeah right. Can you imagine us getting old together? When we're both eighty, sitting by our little house in our rocking chairs? Me smoking like hell, you and your chocolate? And I'd be knitting a sweatshirt for the adopted child's children. Really?" he asked.

"As long as we're together." Mello promised again. "God that sounds cheesy."

"Just a bit." Matt grinned.

"I'm sorry." Mello spoke softly, twisting Matt's hair.

"Don't be." Breathed Matt, he sighed. "Crap we're messed up."

Mello laughed tiredly. "Fuck yeah."

"Do you love me?" asked Matt. "How many times have we asked each other that recently?"

"No matter what." Mello's breath tingled on Matt's neck. He stroked his neck slowly, gracefully. A movement that had become natural. He gripped the sweating hand tightly.

"I love you too." Matt returned. "I love you more than life."

"I know." Mello smiled. "I love you."

Three little words that meant more than the meaning of life. At least they did to Matt and Mello.


	26. Chapter 26

When Mello got back to the apartment, there was a load of shouting going on. Complete uproar, and what seemed like Sara and Matt with a little of Linda on the sidelines. But for once, the argument was nothing to do with him. Or so he thought. Sara was having some kind of turn, and Matt was being wound up. When Mello stepped through the front door and heard Matt shouting it was slightly surprising but what was worse, was that she was shouting back.

Sara and Matt had always argued. But this seemed to be out of proportion. Sara was shouting back. Sara and Matt, squaring up to each other looking as if they were about to rip the other's throat out. With Linda in the middle, desperately trying to keep them apart and failing miserably. And Matt's lip was bleeding. "I hate you!" Sara screamed at the top of her lungs. "I'm nothing like you. You're just a bastard, and a vulgar one at that!"

"At least I'm not delusional!" Matt shot back.

"And what the fuck's that supposed to mean?" demanded Sara.

"Matt don't. Sara please." Linda wasn't doing much good at all.

Mello slung his helmet onto the couch. He wandered why Linda had let it get this far, but she was quite feeble when it came to arguments. Still usually Matt didn't do as much shouting, and Sara never shouted back. "Linds, what's going on?" he asked tugging on her arm.

Linda shook her head as she turned to shrug Mello off. That was all the time Sara needed. She lashed out at Matt, he hit her straight back. Seconds later Mello raced between them, pushing them apart. He hadn't seen Matt and Sara fight like that since they were about twelve.

"You think you're too fucking good for us?" Matt hissed. "Well I've got some news for you sis, your a Wammy's kid so get over it."

Mello shook his head. "She doesn't think that Matt." He put his hands to the redheads chest.

"Yes she fucking does." Matt swore. "When anyone looks at you Sara, they see a Wammy's freak. So don't go thinking you're any fucking better than us. Because you're not."

"I didn't say that!" Sara protested. "I said that I wasn't like you."

"Yeah fucking law abiding as always ay? But that doesn't mean you go give us a way to the enemy!"

"What the hell Matt?" Mello asked. He shook his head.

Matt pushed past Mello, starting to square up to Sara again. "You're the same as me. As twisted and as clever as me. I'm sick of being looked down on by you. You're pathetic. If you hate who you are so fucking much then just go die or something! And if there's a good god you'll come back as one of those nice clever children with a nice clever mummy and daddy. And then I can stop feeling guilty about hating you so much."

"Matt that's enough!" Linda's voice was high and shrill.

"No it's fucking not Linds. Do you know the reason Mello got himself blown up?" Matt stepped closer to Sara. "Do you know why? Because of your boyfriend as his mates."

"I can have a life outside Wammy's." Sara protested. "You may be running wild with the mafia and Mello, but I've actually got a job. I have a nice job, and just because a guy who happens to be with the police has shown a slight," her voice was strong. "And I repeat, a _slight_ interest in me doesn't mean I'm betraying you."

"See that!" Matt roared. "She's never cared about Wammy's. We're family. Family come first." Matt snapped.

"Mello do something." Linda shouted at him.

Mello frowned what the hell was he supposed to do? Pushing past Mello, Matt grabbed Sara's hands dragging her to the cracked wall mirror behind the couch. He pulled her close to him, cheek against cheek. Sara tried to pull away but Matt was stronger. "Can't you see yet? Your as fucking delusional as the rest of us. Good stuff doesn't happen to Wammy's kids. What's so dreadful about being from Wammy's? If you hate who you are, like you _always _complain then do something a-fucking-bout it. You're pathetic." He pushed her away, she fell against the mirror arms outstretched. Mello thought he heard the cracking of glass.

"Matt that's enough." Mello tried. "Come on."

Matt turned for Mello. "No it's not. It's never going to be enough for her. She needs to hear the truth from someone and no one else will tell her. You? Linda? Well it's going to be me. Who else is going to show her how it really is? Who she is?"

"What gives you the right to show her how it really is?" demanded Mello. "I know you think you're right, but you're not always."

"Matt she isn't the only one who can't stand you sometimes." Linda tried.

"She always does this. She's so pathetic. And guess what, I've had enough. Mello you should be on my side. Mello you're not that week that you actually agree with her? What are you ashamed to come from Wammy's? Is your love life more important than family?"

"What the hell is wrong with you?" Mello shouted at Matt.

Without warning Matt lunged at Mello letting out a howl like an animal in pain. Mello had only stepped back when Matt's head made contact with his stomach knocking the wind out of him and causing him to fall to the ground. He didn't feel fists laying into him, because Matt had had the wind knocked out of him too, pushing his lover backward and up he drew his legs up to knee him in the back. Matt groaned but refused to let the fight be over so suddenly, he drew a fist as Mello covered his face. The next moment Sara was dragging Mello off Matt.

"What the hell is the matter with you Mat?" Linda screeched. Mello leapt to his feet, fist raised ready to fight. Matt tried to turn back, but Linda wasn't having that. "Matt I'm talking to you!" She raged.

"Oh fuck off." Matt had turned for the bedroom, walking away from her.

Linda did something that stunned Mello. She reached out, and slapped him across the face. "Mail Jeevas you will not talk to me like that." Her voice was so quiet it was scary. "I've put up with enough crap from people like you back at Wammy's. Don't you dare judge her. You have no fucking idea what she's been through."

"Yeah right." Matt spat. "What the hell has she been through?" He tried to sound menacing but he sounded like he was nine not nineteen.

"You remember Jonathan she was dating? Just after you two left, she and him were attacked. By two of our kids, and some village boys." Linda's eyes flashed. "Wammy's kids. Remember Matt, when Sara went away for a while? Before you left. Remember at the same time those two got kicked out?"

"You said it was 'cause they did drugs on Wammy's grounds. You said she was doing a course on natural history." Matt whispered the words creeping from his horrified mouth.

"I said what I had to say." Linda frowned. "They hurt Sara so bad she was in hospital for a month. And Jonathan stepped away and let them do it. He let them do it, and watched as they did. Probably joined in too. And I bet they did more than just beat her up. " Linda looked as if she wanted to crush Matt under her heel. "She said she didn't want you two told. Said you'd worry."

"I didn't know—" Matt breathed, he looked shaken.

Linda interrupted him. "Do you two know why they beat her up?" She asked. "Because her boyfriend was from the local school and she was a Wammy's kid. And they're not supposed to mix. So they decided, for Jonathan's own good to beat her up. Stop the freak influencing them. She was beaten and left for dead because she dated the wrong kind of boy. And she didn't actually want you guys to know because she was ashamed. So why do you think she hates being a Wammy's kid?"

"I'm sorry.." Matt tried again.

"No you're fucking not. It's amazing she actually recovered from that. Not that you'd know if she hadn't. Not once have you asked about the kids since you left." She looked scary, even though she was pregnant. Skin stretched taunt over an ever growing bump. "It's a wonder her mind's been right since, 'cause she's still hurting. Each and every day. She's still hurting so much. Leave her alone. Do you hear me? Do you?"

Matt nodded. Mello nodded even though she had not been talking directly to him. "Linda she's bleeding." He pointed out.

Linda moved too fast for a normal human being, by her friends side in a second. The girls palms were bleeding, where she'd banged them into the mirror. She stared down at the crimson patches shuddering slightly. Then looked at her reflection in the cracked mirror more damaged now than ever. "Can you pass me a first aid kit?" she whispered to Linda.

"Matt!" Linda ordered. "It's ok." She put an arm around her friends shoulder.

Sara shook her hair, slightly greasy hair falling into her eyes. "Where's Jonathan? Why didn't he visit me?" she asked. "Where is he Linds?"

"Jonathan?" asked Linda. "Jonathan left a long time ago. Come on, let's clean those hands."

Sara pulled her hands away from Linda, the peaceful expression she usually wore was gone. Now she looked angry. "It's fine." She muttered. She raised her hands to her face, unaware that she was smothering her cheeks with blood. "I'm sorry."

"Saz I didn't know. I'm so sorry.." Matt tried to put his arm around her, she slapped him away.

"Keep your hands away from me!" She shrieked, scrambling out of his reach.

"I didn't mean any of it." Matt promised.

"Yes you fucking did. You've always meant it." Sara swore. "You've always meant it. You've always hated me."

"I never hated you." Matt promised. "You're like a sister."

"Stay away from me." Sara tried again, standing up now.

"Because I'm a Wammy's kid right?" asked Matt.

"You're just like the rest of them." Sara looked down at her hands again. There was silence, then she spoke dignity regained. "You're just like me." Then she turned to Linda. "Linda I can't sleep at your apartment today, I have a date with a guy." She turned to Mello. "Thanks Mells." Then to Matt. "Don't worry, the feeling's mutual." With that she turned and walked head held high to the door letting it swing shut behind her before anyone could speak.

Linda and Matt looked at each other. They both looked confused to Mello, and lost. As he stared at them he felt his eyes sting with water, but he didn't blink. He waited for the feeling to die, or to weaken at the very least. So that he wouldn't look like an idiot, making a complete fool of himself. He turned so that Matt and Linda wouldn't see him, but he caught sight of himself in the mirror. He looked exactly like Matt and Linda.

His expression his lovers. His thoughts and his feelings were all Matt's exact copies. Just as Matt's were his.


	27. Chapter 27

"Don't treat me like an idiot Mello!"

"Then fuck off and drink another bottle or seven!" Mello scowled. "Or smoke a couple or dozen of those cancer sticks you love so much!"

"Oh shut up." Matt shot back, the tone in Mello's voice made him wince. It was one of their very rare arguments. Rare because when Matt was in a bad mood Mello wasn't at home. Rare because when they were together, at night usually Matt was too loved up to say anything.

"Don't deny it." Mello frowned. "Don't you dare deny it, because it's true."

"I'm not stupid. Look, it's a gorgeous day, the birds are singing a nice tune. Well it's not nice here, but it'll be nice somewhere. Don't you think?" He smiled laughing slightly.

Mello's face was confused for a split second then he regained himself. Matt wondered why Mello wasn't laughing too. He wondered why he as laughing, he tried to stop but the look on Mello's face made it harder to stop. Mello leaned forward, sniffing Matt's breath, the look on his face changed and Matt laughed until his eyes watered.

Suddenly Mello had Matt by the shoulders and was shaking him like a dog would a rabbit. "S-stop it.." Matt protested weakly.

"What the fuck do you think you're doing?" Mello demanded.

Mello's expression scared him now. He'd never seen him so furiously angry before. "L-let me go.."

Mello let go almost the second the words left his mouth. Matt stumbled backward, landing in a heap on the carpeted floor of the apartment. He tried to scramble to his feet, but the room swayed slightly. If the room would just stay still for two seconds he'd be fine.

"For fuck's sake Mattie," Mello's voice rung with disgust. "You're drunk."

Matt shook his head. "I am so not." He giggled adding conspiratorially. "I only had a few.."

"Yeah right." Mello rolled his eyes. "You are so stupid!" He roared. Matt wished he'd stop. He was making his head hurt. "You really want to end up like your mum?"

"Don't be thick." Matt finally managed to get to his feet, but the world rocked beneath them like a sinking boat.

"I'm not. I can't see why you're doing this. Right you said some stuff ok, but what's your excuse for drinking? At least your Mum had one. What is it, do I not pay you enough attention? Is poor Mattie said about being an orphan? Or is it because Sara doesn't like you? Boo hoo! You said some stupid stuff, but it's done with. We forgive and forget."

"Stop it!" Matt sobered up slightly. Mello was being horrible, like the dick head he was. "Don't you do the whole high and mighty thing. How dare you judge me?"

"If you act like an idiot people will judge you. Don't be upset if people treat you like one."

"I'm not an idiot."

"No you're a load worse than that!" Mello shouted. He wondered why no one was knocking on the door already telling them to keep it down. "You're a drunk. A pisshead. An alky!"

"Stop it alright?"

"No." Mello protested. "No I won't. Because you're mine Mail Jeevas. I want you, but not like this. So come on, let's have some reasons."

"You don't understand." Matt threw the old cliché line.

"Try me!" Mello offered, angrily.

"I'm tired alright?" Matt shouted, wanting the whole world to hear.

"Tired of what?" Mello demanded.

"Tired of you comparing me to my parents! Parents I never had. Tired of Sara and Linda, and the Kira case and you if you need to know. I'm tired of the way that you lot make me feel. That I need to behave, do this do that. As if we're going to solve this case and live happily ever after. Because the whole situation makes me want to puke. I want to do something with life, you and me. Not just solve this case, carry on with the mafia. We're not going to live to eighty five and have grey hair. I want something in my life, something that means more than you and me.."

"Really? Because in my life there is nothing but you and me! If you think you're going to find that something at the bottom of a bottle of what the hell you've been drinking you are so wrong."

Matt kicked his feet along the carpet, feeling the softness of it under his toes. He sighed. "Where the hell else should I look?" he demanded.

"Just don't do what your Mum did, right?" asked Mello. "She was always headed for a coffin or a mental home. Turned out it was a coffin." Mello said, spitefully. "It's the truth. She was doomed. But you're not."

That made Matt start a little. That couldn't be true. Because his Mum hadn't been all that bad. It was his Dad, who had led to her death. He drank because he lost his job. That was alright. But his Mum, his Mum drank because his Dad got angry with her. He liked them both drunk. But then his Mum had tried to drive home to look after him, and she'd had an accident. His Dad had remarried of course, because that's just the kind of thing he would. His new marriage was crap too, and his new wife a young pretty blonde thing barely Matt's age now (or so she looked) didn't like children. She liked to drink and smoke too though. So of course Matt's dad had found anyway he could to make her like the child, even if that meant beating shit out of it.

Matt didn't want to die like his Mum. Undignified, drunk. He wanted to go out with a bang. Give the world hell first. Is that what Mello saw him as? Some stupid little kid who wanted to drink to grow old? Who had no reason to drink? A way to stop feeling, a way nothing could hurt him anymore? "I'm going to bed." He finally said.

"Mattie, promise you won't be drinking any more." Mello asked. "I know this is a one off.."

"No." Matt snapped. "I won't promise that."

Mello shook his head. He looked hurt and unhappy, but still angry. "You're no good to this case or to me if you're drunk all the time." He said, looking at Matt, waiting for the reaction.

"So?" asked Matt. "You don't need me anyway. You have Linda. Sara doesn't need me. She hates me."

"Please?" Mello asked. His eyes were wide and childlike, he looked about seven. But the scar on his dainty face made it more human and less perfect. He looked almost like he was afraid, like a mask had broken. Half his face looked angry, but the other half looked like the mask had peeled away and cracked.

Spur of the moment decision but Matt leaned forward and gave him a kiss on the lips. Mello moved away though. "What, you don't like to kiss anymore?" Matt quietly pouted.

"You stink." Mello frowned.

Matt's smile vanished. It had appeared quickly and disappeared just as quickly. "You know what, you can be just as cruel as my Dad was to my Mum."

The spiteful sentence hit Mello like a ton of bricks. He turned to Matt who had been about to walk away, and slapped him hard across the face. "Don't you ever, ever say anything like that to me again." He whispered, mouth inches from Matt's. "Don't ever, ever compare me to that monster."

"Why not?" Demanded Matt. He paused "Sorry."

Mello shook his head. "No." He paused, looking at Matt's bedraggled face. " Sorry." He murmured.

Matt shook his head. "Na, you're not."

Mello pulled him back, wanting his apology to be accepted. "Please Matt, I'm sorry."

"Oh leave me be, please?" asked Matt. "Just for tonight. Can't you get lost? Sleep on the couch or something?

"Not without you." Mello tried. He gave a small sad pathetic smile.

"Oh leave me alone!" Screeched Matt, knocking the embracing arm away. "I should've known you'd never understand me! You ran off, you have other fish to fry. I should've realised you're like every other guy and girl I've ever met. You're the head of the fucking mafia now! You go killing people, must be so proud! Besides, why would you care about me? I bet.."

"The mafia aren't important!" Mello denied. "You are." He protested.

"Then why the hell do you do this to me?"

Mello's lips pressed firmly together, then he opened them. "I wish you'd let me die Matt. When I got myself blown up..sometimes I wish you had, you know? Sometimes.."

"Why would you even say that? Do you hate being with me that much?"

Mello kissed him then. Wrapping his arms around him, and kissing him. Matt hadn't thought it was possible to be kissed on the lips without kissing them back. But apparently it was. After a startled second he did the same, kissing Mello back. And to be honest it wasn't a bad kiss.

But a kiss sure as hell wasn't enough. It deepened as they switched spit, and Mello's hands begun to wander. Matt's wandered too. Slowly Matt's lips parted, and Mello mimicked the action. Matt's tongue slipped through the parting exploring the blonde's mouth, brushing against his teeth as their tongues became entwined. Mello felt as if Matt's body was a cookie jar at Wammy's that he wasn't meant to touch, but the more he thought that and the more anyone told him that the more exciting it truly was.

Matt felt electricity fly through his soul as Mello's body became entwined with his. Mello pulled away for just a second, and Matt felt tears spring to his eyes. "You-you don't want to be with me?" he asked.

Mello moved closed to the boy again, looking up at the kind face bathed in the dying sun outside. He felt such a powerful burst of affection overcome him. He reached out placing his hands on his smooth cheeks. Not letting himself resist for long. "I wouldn't care if your face was covered in puke." He promised. "I couldn't care if you stunk of weed, which you have in the past." He felt his heart beating heavily and stared into Matt's slightly distorted eyes. "I will always love you."

And Matt stared back, almost pleadingly trying to tell the blonde so many words. Unable to move his lips for a second frozen in time. He tried to voice his desire to be consumed by him, trying to communicate his desire to be loved by him. Mello seemed to understand the mumble of words, staring back and apparently he understood what Matt was feeling. He drew closer again. Mello closed his eyes, lips parted just the slightest. It was the longest time he could bare not to look or feel the man. It was what he'd longed for.

Matt felt the warm lips brush against his own again. He felt a passion for his lover that coursed through his body, causing him to shake slightly. He raised his hands about his head allowing him to wrap his arms around her waist and hold him tightly as he began to kiss his lips. He moaned softly kissing back with the best force he could muster. Moments later the wet tongue slid in between his lips again, he greeted with his own. The moist breath from Mello's mouth entered his own, as they rubbed the tongues against each other he felt Mello's hand slide down his jeans to his bum. He squirmed slightly as Mello squeezed.

Matt wrapped his arms around Mello's neck. They kissed still ever passionately, holding each other. Expressing love that could never be questioned and could never be spoken in words that would do justice. After what seemed like a mere second and eons combined their mouths parted and their eyes met. Mello continued to hold the redhead as they stared into each others eyes. Matt gave him a watery smile, placing his head against the leather wearer's chest. The beating of his heart was audible, and Matt knew this proved that he felt exactly the same.

Mello planted a kiss on the top of Matt's head, nuzzling his nose against the forelocks. He smiled slightly sad. "Not tonight." He whispered. "It's not as much fun when you're tipsy."

"Tomorrow?" asked Matt as the world swayed slightly again.

"You're a lightweight you know that right?" asked Mello jokingly. "Maybe."

"I'll behave." Matt promised.

"Good boy."


	28. Chapter 28

**AN: A bit of Sara here. It's not really necessary to the story if you don't like het relationships. But if you're sticking with the story then please read and review. I haven't had many reviews of recently. So please do review! Oh I think this chapter is a deffo M.**

Sara frowned as she walked into the small cafe. All she wanted was a drink, but she needed change. They didn't accept anything more than a ten dollar bill for anything under it. And all she wanted was a drink. A tiny drink of something, was that too much to ask? She just needed to sit down. She walked up to the first table where three man sat. It wasn't a crowded day, usually she would have gone up to some people who looked friendlier. But still, the guys at the table couldn't be that bad. There was only one other guy, but his back was bent his face in his newspaper so it looked mean to disturb him.

"Do you have change?" she asked.

The blonde man, clean shaven laughed. "What will you do for it?" he asked, standing up.

Sara figured he was probably trying to be clever in front of his friends. She gave him a questioning look raising her eyebrows. "Excuse me?" she asked.

"I said," he waved the five dollar bill in her face. "What will you do for it?"

She stepped back. "Really?" she asked.

"Come on slut." The man laughed. "Will you dance for it?"

"Who do you think I am?" she asked.

The man at the other table was standing now. He looked worried almost afraid. She recognised him. The man was gripping a badge tightly. "Keep it civilized!" He tried.

She glared at him. The man who'd taken her to dinner once. And only once, and hadn't bothered to call her back. "I've got this." She promised. She turned to the blonde man, and silkily smiled. "What would you like me to do?" she asked.

"Well if the shoe fits.." He murmured.

She slinked up to him, he was quite taller than her his chest being at the top of her head. She'd never been as skinny and as graceful as Linda, but she was certainly a looker. Never quite noticed, never quite the right girl. As Matt had once said more like a duck than a swan, but ducks could be beautiful too. Holding onto his shoulders she smiled at him. "I'll tell you what I'll do.." Her knee came up in a quick motion sending him howling. "Because the shoe certainly fits."

He shouted abuse at her, as his friends laughed. Then lunged for her. Matsuda was in the way already. "Cool it!" He ordered, voice distraught. "I am a police officer, I will have you charged with sexual harassment and you for attacking him if you don't cool it."

"Self defence." Sara prompted. "I can handle this Touta. Get out of the way."

The man she'd kneed was standing again, though still wincing. She hoped she'd done some good damage. "Bitch!" He swore. Grabbing her by the arm, her foot collided with the already delicate and bruised part of his body as he stumbled backward.

"Oh look, the shoe fits again."

A timid looking waiter looked as if he wanted to interfere. But he wasn't sure what to actually say. Matsuda pushed his badge into the man who grabbed Sara's arm. "I am a police officer, and I am in control of the situation." He begged.

The beefy blonde swung for Matsuda's head, as he promptly hit the floor. Sara's foot kicked out again, hitting him in the knee. He fell back against the table. His 'friends' sat laughing, enjoying the scene. Matsuda stood up, shaking his suit off and looked at the sprawled man. He wondered if he should do something. "Come on." He said to Sara.

She blew a piece of hair out of her eyes. "If you're going to say something say it now."

Matsuda turned to the waiter as he put his coat on. "Can I have my bill please?" he asked, gladly receiving it. He gave the waiter dressed in jeans and a scruffy t-shirt the exact change without having to fumble in his pockets. He turned to Sara. "Come on, let's get out of here."

"What do you mean?" she demanded.

"I mean do you want to have dinner with me?" He asked.

She stared at him. She wondered whether he wanted her to answer. Finally she shrugged. "You're paying. You know that right?" she asked.

"Didn't think it'd be any other way." He smiled.

"We should get out of here though." She part prompted part suggested. Her voice had lost some of it's rough edge like glass after being struck by the sea. "The Police will be here soon."

"I'm with the police." He promised.

"That badge's a fake." She smiled. "I know some stuff about them."

"Really?" he asked. They started to walk.

"Mhm." She nodded. She smirked slightly. "I know a lot of stuff."

He took her arm, threading it through his own. "I'm sure you do. And you can enlighten me over dinner."

Sara's smile was small and warm at first, but then it grew. As he drove she laughed at his crap jokes, nodded as he mentioned things he liked about LA. She took interest in what he told her about Japan and how he'd grown up there. Every few minutes he stopped, in a total of four times during the journey. He would pause, as if waiting for her to say something. Then would shut his mouth like a fish gulping in water. Finally he parked in a small gravel lot. Sara tried to open the passenger door, to find it was locked. He blushed a shade that was worthy of Matt's hair and hopped out.

"Something like child lock." He apologised, ushering her out.

"What is this place?" she asked. The building looked like a nice place, white walls with plants growing outside. A garden where there were picnic tables and a large wooden door. It looked too clean though.

"It's a place I heard about." He confessed. "Inside or out?"

"Pardon?" she frowned.

"Where do you want to eat?" he blushed again. The red really didn't go with his hair.

"Inside. It's going to rain." She gestured to the clouds already forming in the murky sky.

"You sure?" he asked. The drizzle started. God he felt stupid. When they got inside the place was full of people. Sara looked around for a table, but couldn't find one. She voiced this to Matsuda. He sighed. "Takeaway?"

"Hrm." Sara smiled slightly. She brushed a piece of wet hair from her eyes again. "Takeaway it is then."

Matsuda managed to push his way to the door, after finding out that the place didn't do takeaways. Finally, after driving around for a while he found a drive through and parked facing the river. It was now dark but Sara didn't wonder about whether or not Linda would be missing her. She'd turned her phone off anyway. Sitting back in the chair she undid her seat belt as he handed her a coffee. "Thanks.." She murmured.

"Sara Jones right?" he asked.

She nodded. "Touta Matsuda right?"

He nodded. "So..I've said _loads_ about myself...what about you?" he asked.

She sat back. "What do you want to know?" she grinned.

"Family, do you have anyone..?" he asked. He ran a nervous hand through his dark hair. He found that he was sweating.

"Nope." She shook her head. "Just me."

"Really?" he sounded quite happy. "No husband or kids?" he asked.

"I'm nineteen!" She all but screeched.

"Wow." He muttered. "Nineteen!" It was as if he had never heard that number before. "Really? You've done a lot with yourself then! Parents?" he asked. He really hoped she didn't say yes, and she was meant home an hour ago. He really didn't want Light being contacted over Sara's kidnapping.

She hesitated. Then shook her head. "Not anymore." She smiled. "They were.." She actually had no clue what they were. "...doctors too. Well my Mum was an actual doctor. My dad was a lawyer see."

"That's..cool." Matsuda tried. "I'm sorry."

"Don't be. It was a long time ago." She smiled, she hated people feeling sorry for her.

"Jeez, what happened to your hand?" he asked, he had been sipping from his coffee nibbling at his food when he'd noticed her hands. It looked as if she'd put them through shredded glass.

"I broke a mirror." She laughed. "And not with my face."

"Did you fall or something?" Matsuda asked.

"Or something."

Hesitation lingered in the air. "So being a doctor..must be really...cool?"

"It is. I'm a shrink Touta." She said. "I do first aid at the most. Not brain surgery."

"I remember." He finished finally. He slurped his coffee surprised at the heat of it causing him to spit it out. Oh Christ, he'd just spat all over her.

Sara giggled, wiping the coffee away from her blue blouse. "Mr Matsuda please keep your fluids away from my top!"

He blushed furiously. If any more blood rose to his face it would surely be coming out of his eyes. "I'm..I'm..sorry!"

She laughed, wiping away at it with a wet wipe she kept in her pocket. "I'm used to kids, I always carry these things!" She laughed.

"Do you deal with kids a lot?" asked Matsuda. He blinked trying to move his fringe without actually touching it. Touching their hair was what women did.

"A bit." She shrugged keeping it vague keeping him keen. "I grew up with a load of kids too. I always had someone painting somewhere, someone getting chocolate finger prints everywhere. Someone leaving toys everywhere."

"Really?" asked Matsuda even though she'd just actually said it. "I was grew up in a kids home. But I always saw my Dad at weekends. Did you grow up in a kids home?" he asked.

"Something like that." She smiled now. "How come you weren't with your Dad?" she asked.

"Oh a ton of different reasons." He shrugged the question away. Perhaps he wasn't as stupid as he appeared. "So, no brother's or sisters?" he asked.

"Kind of. You know what it's like, doncha?" she asked. She smiled, his eyes were warm.

"I know what you mean. Someone's nicking your stuff, or borrowing it! Someone else is leaving stuff everywhere. Someone else accuses you of stuff, and there are so many fights! I always used to miss them. But it's just like having a massive family. Course I never saw half of them after I left. It's how it is right?"

Sara nodded. "Exactly." She paused. "So Mr Matsuda, what brings you to LA?"

"Business." He grinned apologetically. "Unfortunately. I'm really sorry I didn't phone you back, I've been working non stop."

Sara sighed, the atmosphere in the car was way too formal. "Touta we're not at work anymore." She winked. "Most boys don't fall for me anyway."

"Sure they do."Matsuda had no experience in dealing with teenage women. "I'm not a boy!" he objected.

"Really?" She raised an eyebrow. "Then what are you?"

"I used to think I was a man. But now I don't even know if I'm human." He hesitated. "It sure is a murky night."

"It's pretty thought." Sara murmured. "All those lights, like stars. Or eyes glittering. My friend she's an artist she'd love to draw the city at night. It's so beautiful."

"Just like you." Matsuda smiled and leaning in grazed his lips against Sara's. He only brushed them with his own, because he withdrew quickly. "I'm sorry."

"What for?" Sara pouted.

"I kissed you." Matsuda almost trembled. "I wish you'd tell me about yourself."

"I can't." Sara muttered.

"You're English right? You speak Japanese with an accent."

"I can't tell you." She repeated.

"You know how stupid that sounds right?" he asked. "I don't care if you're from some mad experiment, I don't care if you grew up in some wacky orphanage. I wouldn't care if you were an axe murderer...well I would..but you don't need to be mysterious."

"Trust me, you'd care a lot." Sara promised.

"Sara I really, really kinda like you."

Sara found him hilarious. He sounded like a school boy. A geek telling a cheerleader he liked her, almost sure he was going to get rejected but with the tiniest hope that made it worth while. She tried to think of what to say. "I really kinda like you too."

"Really?" he sounded almost shocked.

She hesitated, Matt was a dickhead. He wouldn't accept anything she did. What did he matter? "Kiss me again?" she asked.

"You-really?"

"Shut up." She kissed him lightly, not hot and heavy just light and floating. He seemed to know that that would be enough as something inside him clicked. He pulled back again. "What is it now?" she demanded.

"I-I.." He stared into the dark eyes, waiting for her to say something. But she didn't. He hung his head slightly, waiting for some kind of rejection but there was nothing. Stroking her cheek he slowly leaned in to kiss her again, but gave her time to think. He paused millimetres away from her lips for a second she thought he'd changed his mind. But suddenly his lips touched hers, his hand went to her waist barely touching, he offered her a hand clambering to the back seat moving her to the chairs.

"You sure?" he asked before laying her down, she nodded. Matsuda continued to kiss her slowly and gently, she wanted him to kiss her the way she'd imagined it. Hot and heavy. He let his lips linger longer than time should have allowed, before his tongue rimmed the edge of her mouth seeking entrance. Slowly the soft kisses became more and more passionate.

Sara let down all walls of defence in her mind that had threatened to exterminate him. Matsuda drowned her in lust, desire and love. She ran her fingers through his hair, the locks shimmered under the street lamps. Matsuda's hands slid down her sides, moving back up to her waist as they neared her hips. Suddenly his hands were sliding up her stained blouse, slowly slipping it off. His hands lingered near her breasts for a second, and then slowly but steadily moved back down the back of her jeans. Her hands were as wild as his, dragging his shirt off after loosening the tie. She kicked off her pumps, sliding her hand down Matsuda's front to his belt. She undid it carefully then chucked it to the car floor. They continued to strip each other until they were both naked and shaking. He'd fumbled with her bra, and she wondered how inexperienced he actually was.

Sara brought her hand up and cupped Matsuda's jaw line. He lifted his head slightly from her neck and kissed her roughly now. His hands left her breasts and toyed with her stomach. He sat up directly so he had both arms to use, kicking her underwear away and kissed her stomach going lower and lower. He trailed his tongue near for a moment, repositioning himself and then kissed her lips once more. Leaving her breathless. He might not have been as inexperienced as she thought at first.

Matsuda felt in control seeing as he was on top of her. Slowly Sara began to massage him, working magic. If Matt had any idea of the kind of things she was capable of whispering to Matsuda he would have asked her for advice. Matsuda groaned and let his head fall back slowly. With his head back Sara wrapped her lips around him and began working her magic even more. She looked up at him, and as they're eyes met Matsuda's muscle tightened and his pleasure heightened. He felt the pleasure and the desire run through him, as she worked her way around him.

Using both her hands and her mouth he continued to let out low groans. Gripping her shoulders suddenly he threw her head back against the pillow. Sara kept him entertained as she explored his body, he slid himself inside her as he forced her up. Matsuda didn't gradually pick up pace, he quickly picked it up moving at such a speed was quite difficult while still laying on top of her. So placing his hands on either side of her face. He kissed her very roughly again, and let his head lean down against her collarbone. When he raised his head again Sara noticed small beads of sweat forming on his forehead. She gripped his shoulders moaning loudly. She smiled slightly, eyeing him.

Sara took advantage of Matsuda's sweet vulnerability and flipped them so she was on top. She did so in such a way that Matsuda didn't even need to exit her. Bobbing her body up and down she watched as Matsuda's eyes transfixed on her breasts. Her hands began to trail down his body, but when Matsuda gripped her wrists again he was purely and firmly in control again. Looking down at him Sara smirked without stopping. Matsuda yanked her down as she continued to ride him, pulling her face close to his as he kissed hard almost bruising her lips. He continued to kiss her sliding his body slightly back so it could be supported by the seat. He was growing tired.

Slightly in a sitting position it made it easier to kiss her. Keeping control of the situation, grabbing her hips he let her apply more and more pressure to his body. Once she was doing what he wanted her to do he let his hands roam all over her body. Her beautiful beautiful body, it might not have been graceful but she was definitely a full figured woman. He hungrily leant forward bringing her left breast towards his mouth using his free hand to fondle the other. Sara moaned as she rotated her mothering hips grinding against him. She smiled as he gasped, purring as he moaned.

Letting his body relax, Sara finished the job. As Matsuda now held her hips Sara's hands roamed over her own breasts. His face tightened and he noticed that her face tightened too. He gripped her hips tighter now, and as she continued to ride she began to moan long and loud. Matsuda felt the sweat on his body, as he saw Sara's body glisten too. He groaned as he rolled his head back and closed his eyes. And as quickly as it had started it was over. Too quickly, Matsuda longed for more.

Suddenly Sara pushed away, and started to get dressed. Shaking she recovered her bra and underwear pulling them on almost embarrassed. Matsuda tried to protest, but finally found his underwear and his pants. He retrieved his shirt, and left it unbuttoned. Suddenly he realised that she was shaking, tears pouring from her eyes as she attempted to button her shirt. She'd managed to pull her jeans on, but she was trying and failing to button the blouse. "Why are you crying?" he asked.

She shook, uncontrollably as he tried to put a hand around her shoulders. He attempted to help her button the stained blouse, but she slapped his hand away. "Don't touch me!"

"What?" He pushed himself upright into a full sitting position. "Did I hurt you?" he asked.

"N-No." She shook her head, finally managing to cover herself with the blouse using her trembling fingers. "Keep your hands away from me please."

"I-I.." Matsuda sighed, brushing his hair with his hand. "Fine."

"Please I need to go home." She begged, the tears still streaming from her eyes. Mascara was streaming down her face now. She'd never had the problem when she used the normal stuff, but waterproof always seemed to run. She rubbed them viciously, wishing she would just stop crying.

"Let me drive you!" Matsuda offered, he kicked his shoes on scrambling over the chair so that he was in the front seat. He didn't bother to find his tie from wherever it was on the floor. He wouldn't need it.

"No." She shook her head.

"Oh come off it. You don't know where we are. Let me drop you off at your home, or house or whatever."

Sara shook her head. "I can't tell you where I live."

"If someone's threatening you..." Matsuda tried but didn't succeed, he fumbled with his seat belt. Zipping up his trousers with one hand.

"No. I'm going home." She tried to get out. "Open the door."

"Let me drive you to your street." Matsuda offered, "Come on."

"No." Sara shook her head. "LA isn't that big."

"Come on. Seriously, the place is huge. Look, how about I drop you off somewhere near where you live. How's that?"

She wiped a tear from her eye. "Fine." She told him the name of the large shopping centre three blocks away from Linda's apartment. "Take me there."

"Please can't we talk first?" he begged. He wondered where the girl he'd been with a moment ago had gone. "Sara I really love you. Please can we talk?"

"Touta I just want to go home. Ok?" Her eyes were tear stained.

"Ok." He finally agreed. But he knew it was far from ok.

"And you can't tell anyone this happened. Ok?"

"Fine." He agreed again, secretly disagreeing. "I thought you loved me. But it's obvious you don't. Otherwise you'd actually tell me who you were. Instead you keep secrets from me."

Sara shook her head. "You'd hate me."

"Don't give me that shit." Matsuda shook his head.

"If that's what you think then I can't tell you the truth." She remained defiant and silent throughout the whole journey.


	29. Chapter 29

It was strangely silent the night after Sara and her 'incident' with Matt. Linda had phoned in the morning to tell them that Sara had turned up, and that she had camped on the sofa. She'd called in sick to work, and had asked to be left alone. It was easier for Sara to share her apartment. It meant that she paid half the rent, and it was meant for two. Mello had offered to go around to the house, but by now at ten o clock in the early evening he was just tired. He'd had a long day, and the silence that echoed was beautiful. Street lamps in the streets seemed so dim, and the light pollution seemed toned down for once.

Mello lay back on the bed, his head resting on the pillow huddled against Matt. The boy really was an image of pure perfection in his eyes. Matt was quiet, not his usual silence but it almost seemed like he was sulking. Mello wasn't in the mood to talk, his head pounded as if all the blood in his body was flooding to it. But talking was better than awkward unwanted silence. He hated it. Matt doing the whole secretive thing. But he was shivering in his clean clothing and felt as if he were about to collapse any moment. Luckily he was on the bed already so it wouldn't make much difference.

Soft auburn red hair layered around his head, shielding his goggled eyes from the light. Mello wondered if that image would be burnt into his mind forever more, he wished it was. It was wonderful. He traced his cold ungloved fingers along Matt's jaw. He felt Matt shiver slightly from the stone cold of them, as he brought them to his own face. He traced the infernal scar across his face. He waited for Matt to move, but he didn't. Mello opened his eyes slowly, so that he could look into Matt's. Matt was focusing on the scar, and even through the tinted plastic pain was obvious. They softened, but there was no hiding the feeling behind the orange.

Mello arched his eyebrows, looking away and lifting Matt's hand to the scar he had him trace it. "It doesn't hurt anymore." He promised. Matt's warm skin traced a path, and sadly smiling he continued along the edge of the skin. He looked nervous. "It's numb." Mello repeated.

Gingerly he touched the centre of the scar. The tissue that cloaked almost half of Mello's face left it numb. "It makes your face look so..." He looked to try and find the right word. "..so..so..sad."

Mello raised his eyebrows again. "Maybe I am sad."Matt raked his hands now through Mello's blonde frayed bangs, and around the back of his head. Mello slowly closed his eyes, nudging his nose against Matt's collar bone. The pulsing neck made contact with his forehead causing a sensation of happiness to rush through him. Pulling his arms to his chest Mello huddled closer, he was freezing. He'd spent a good half of the day out in the rain, and his hair was still not quite dry.

"I'm sorry." Matt whispered now. "I shouldn't've said that to Sara." He pulled his arms around Mello and through the slits in Mello's eyes he saw that Matt was almost covering him now.

"You can't undo it Mattie." Murmured Mello. "She'll forgive you."

"But it might be too late then." Matt rested his head on Mello's shoulder. "Did you get the job done today?"

"Bounty hunting?" Mello asked. "Yes." He nodded slightly, dragging the blanket further around him again. "It's freezing!" He commented.

Matt agreed. "But you won't sleep in leather." Which was true. He stood up, pushing the laptop that he'd been semi typing into off his lap and from the floor grabbed a hoodie. "Stick this one." He said. "Do it." He then ordered as Mello hesitated.

Mello pulled the hoodie over his head. "You can't undo what you've done." He muttered pulling the sleeves down over his scarred arms.

"I know." Matt said. "I've always known that. And neither can you."

"This is all Kira's fault." Mello murmured. "I can almost agree with him to some extent. But he killed the only father I ever had." He paused. "And then he killed L. Who's he to choose who dies or who doesn't?"

Matt's claws dug into the warm fabric that clothed Mello's before bare and scarred chest. He said nothing as he did this, simply snuggled his forehead against the boy's firm chest. Grimacing slightly as a sudden regular rush of pain ran through his scar. It lasted for a mere second, but a painful seconds. "He killed so many good people. He did this to your beautiful face."

Mello shook his head slightly. "He didn't." He paused, before adding. "I did. I hit that detonator. I watched as the world exploded. It was me, all me."

"You wouldn't've had to if Kira didn't exist. If some idiot hadn't thought he could change the world." Matt shook his head too. He frowned, a deep thoughtful frown. Unlike Mello's frowns which were usually angry, his was simply thoughtful.

Mello breathed out now. "I honestly don't know Mattie. If I were in his position, perhaps I'd try it too. There are loads of people in this world that society can do without." He paused, as he felt Matt kiss the top of his head. He sighed.

Matt was defiant though. "I know you. And you would never, ever stoop that low. You're stronger than that Mells. You wouldn't hurt someone like that. You wouldn't throw away your family like he's done." He paused, and knew that Mello must be tired because he refused to argue. "I wish I'd been there at the time, I could have helped you."

Mello gritted his teeth. He'd blown himself up, he'd done it. He'd even planted the explosives in the first place. "Mattie you've never been as fast as me at running. It would've happened exactly the same. But you'd've got hurt worse."

Matt shook his head. "Still.." he murmured. He brought his lips against Mello's. It was a quick kiss, just one to say a short message. It didn't relay the message in the way Matt wanted it to, but it would do the job. His body flooded Mello's in the most beautiful way. It was as if they were meant for each other. Best friends forever. His emotions weren't forced into Mello's, like if he was angry. They were shared. He shared the love that belonged to Mello, and Mello each and every day took a little bit of his soul. The quick peck parted although his lips lingered for a second as he gazed at the other. Warm breath slid gliding over his skin, and he thanked the lord that he was able to control himself.

Trailing his fingers on the abdomen of his partner, he felt the flat surface of his stomach. He was still cold, but he reached his arms up and around the redhead's neck and hid his face slightly underneath the chin. He felt like he wanted to scream but couldn't quite manage it. He wanted to cry, but he wasn't going to. Crying was one of the unwritten rules of Wammy's house. You did not cry.

"Matt…" He started. "I-I.." The doorbell rang.

Pushing himself out of bed, he slipped a pair of Matt's jeans on. They were easier than putting his leather's on, besides he was more decent than Matt. He wandered through the apartment, kicking a piece of rubbish here and there underneath the sofa. He finally reached the front door and undid the latch. He caught his reflection in the broken mirror, noticing his nose and eyes were a red colour. Great. "Yes?" he asked swinging the door open.

Sara stood in the doorway to the apartment. She wore skinny blue jeans with an oversized college jumper. Black combat boots that looked rainsoaked covered her feet. She smiled slightly when she saw him, then frowned. Her features were ruined by the fact that her hair covered her face like a mask, plastered to her head by water. She blushed slightly, and shivered. "Hey."

"Hey." Mello said quietly. He leaned back against the doorway feeling it's wooden frame graze his back.

"Is Matt in?" she asked suddenly. Her eyes flashed alert. She blushed a little more crimson, hugging her jumper to herself. He noticed that she had a coat which she must have taken off, that's why her jumper must have been dry.

"Do-do you want to talk to him?" Mello raised his blonde eyebrows.

"No!" She said quickly. "No..that's not it.."

"Right." Mello agreed. "So—"

"So..." She echoed. She sighed, as if her tongue wouldn't allow her to talk.

She heard a movement that caused Mello to turn around. "Who is it Mells?" Matt called from the bedroom.

"It's..it's.." Sara shook her head at him. "It's no one." He finished.

"Can you finish talking to no one and come back into bed with me then?" Matt demanded.

"Give me a sec." Mello called back. He stepped out into the corridor where the stairs joined them to the rest of the building. He put his back against the wall and slid down until he was in a sitting position. "The floor's dirty." He warned.

"I know it is." She replied. Opposite him she slid down the wall too, so that she also sat down on the floor. "It's never stopped you before." She smiled, a tired smile.

"Why are you here?" asked Mello finally. He let his head loll against the corridor's painted wall. Sara ignored the question. "You ok?" he asked.

"No." She shook her head, a lock of the hair fell into her eyes but she didn't bother to move it. "Are you?"

"Same." Mello agreed. "But I'll be ok."

Sara gave him a slightly strange look, then she focused her attention on the faded paint job on the wall behind his head. It might have been pink it might have been blue. It looked like a mixture of both, but it was certainly no shade of purple. Mello wasn't sure what to say, as she started picking at the skin around her thumb. Blood rose to the surface quickly. He didn't know what to say so he said nothing. "How's the Mafia thing going?" she asked.

"It's ok." He replied. "I'm learning more and more every day." He felt as if she'd asked about school. But it was true he was learning a lot about the mafia. She must have realised the tone of his voice said otherwise, because she looked up and smiled dryly.

"Tough?" She asked. "You've always been too kind."

Anyone else that had said that would have got a slap at the very least. But Sara's tone made it something else. "I don't think many would agree with that y'know." He ran a hand through his hair, tired though he was.

"You're at the top. You sticking with it even after the Kira case?" she asked now.

"I'm in now aren't I? Wild horses wouldn't drag me out." He smiled wearily. "I'm in, I can't leave."

"God you're stubborn aren't you?" she smiled, in somewhat admiration.

"Don'cha know it?" he grinned a crooked grin. "Can you really see me in a job behind a desk?"

She raised her eyebrows. "Mello in a suit." She licked her lips. "Might be tasty!"

He winked, rubbing his eyes. "Hell yeah." Pausing he watched her.

"How d'you do it Mells?" she asked finally.

"Do what?" he asked. He had a theory, but he didn't want to answer.

"Keep going." She verified.

"I don't know."

"Yes you do!" She challenged.

He smiled at her honesty and her conviction that he knew what he was doing. He honestly didn't. "Matt didn't mean what he said."

"Sure he did." She admitted. "He always has thought that. He wants your safety first. He keeps you going, right?" she asked.

He smiled again. "I guess I keep going because of him. And now I know what I want. I know what I need."

"What is that?" she enquired.

He shook his head. "I'm going to be with him forever. I'm going to be someone and make a difference."

She frowned. "But what happens if you can't do both?" she asked.

"What?"

"If you can only have one of those which would it be? Be with Matt, or be someone who makes a difference?" He smiled broadly at this unable to help himself. "Are you laughing at me?" she accused making a face.

"I'm not!" He denied. "It just reminds me of back at Wammy's. When you would always debate with me about anything and everything. I've missed those conversations."

She smiled back, but it soon disappeared. "But you haven't answered." She frowned. "Don't try and wriggle out of it! What matters more, changing the world or Matt?"

"I don't know." He admitted. "I-I love Matt. You know?" he asked. "I really do love him. I would never make the choice. It'd be with Matt."

"Even if it meant letting Kira win?" Sara asked.

"I-I don't know. Ok..Yes. Even if it meant that Kira would win."

Sara considered his answer carefully. "Hrm, being with Matt? I would've thought you'd choose the other."

"What's the point in making a difference without anyone to share it with?" he asked finally. Sara shrugged she had a strange expression covering her face like a mask. Almost as if she was sad for him. "What about you Saz?" he asked. "What keeps you going?" Sara smiled knowingly. It was as if she knew a secret that he didn't. She gave him a smile as her thoughts caved in on themselves, leaving him completely excluded. "Sara?" he prompted uncertainly.

She stood up heading for the stairs. She was ending the conversation. "It's been more than a second sorry." She apologised. She turned back, just before she left though. "D'you really want to know what keeps me going Mell?" she sighed. "Lies. Pretending to be someone I'm not. Being completely and utterly insane like that. At least that way I have point."

"Saz don't say that." Mello interrupted. "You've never been insane, and it isn't stupid. We all want to be someone else."

"Really? I feel empty now. After what he said." There was no need to say who he was. "Before you turned up he said a lot of things. And I know it was a fantasy that my life would ever be normal. But at least I was actually somewhere. But now I'm nothing. I'm nowhere."

"That's untrue.."

"It is?" she asked. She looked at him, her eyes empty and now full. "Is it really?"

"Saz, are you ok?" He asked. Even as he asked it he knew it was stupid and she wouldn't answer.

"I'm fine." She sighed deeply again. "I just need to sort myself out a bit." Pausing she added. "Mells doesn't this strike you as pointless sometimes?"

"What do you mean?"

"Just what I said. Being here. We might as well not exist. There's no point."

"Things get better Saz." Mello promised.

"D'you really mean believe that?" she asked.

"Yeah. I'm on my way up in the world, I've got a home. I've got Matt. You'll find someone, find a home. Have a nice family."

"Hrm." She smiled. "Maybe. Just remember Mello, that when you're floating upwards in that bubble of yours you have that bubbles can burst. And when it does the further you'll have to fall."

She left without bothering to shut the door. Mello stood up, and walked over to do it. He was about to slam the door, when he caught her face. She of all people he had expected to share or at least value his dreams. But she didn't. Then he realised it wasn't that, as she hurried down the cold concrete stairs he realised she was hurting. Hurting badly and close to tears. He stepped out, wincing as his foot struck a bit of glass. But by the time he'd rubbed his bare foot she had gone. He sighed, and returned to the apartment.

Matt was still laying in bed. He looked slightly worried. "Who was it?" he asked.

"Oh..just a friend." Mello promised. He looked up and smiled as he slid into bed. He decided to keep Matt's clothing on.

"Are you ok?" Matt raised his eyebrows, noticing the tone of voice.

"Mhm." Mello confirmed.

"What were you about to say then?" asked Matt.

"I love you…" Mello interrupted him before he had finished his sentence. Like a quick outburst. "I love you." He repeated. For once he wanted to bite back the words he found so easy. But Matt hugged him close bringing his face between Mello's chin and neck.

"Mello..I love you too." He whispered lovingly.

Mello nodded. Wishing that someone would be saying that to Sara some time soon. "I love you." He echoed for a third time. This was met by simply silence, as they lay there together. In a comfortable position. He was happy, but also very very sad.


	30. Chapter 30

_**AN: Lousy chapter sorry! But I haven't updated forever! Been doing school work :P Anyway please review! Even if it's a sentence, it will take you a mere second. You don't need an account to review and criticism is welcomed! BTW No one pointed out to me that in the first chapter I've stated that Matt and Mello are seventeen years old going on twenty! Anyway, please read and review! Thanks for reading!**_

Mello had nothing to do. So he and Matt had driven to Sara's to see her. A casual visit, but she hadn't seemed well. Instead she'd retired to the bathroom, leaving them to entertain themselves. She'd said it was a bad time, that she was busy but they'd said that they would wait.

Matt flicked from channel to channel to channel. Searching for anything or something to watch. The atmosphere in the apartment was plain wrong. He looked for something to occupy himself with, nothing on the channel he'd flicked to. Nothing on the next either. He didn't want to put the news on, the news always frustrated Mello.

"For fuck's sake!" Said Mello, snatching the remote from the redhead's hands and throwing it across the room. It skidded and hit the bedside table. The tiny apartment was much smaller than Matt and Mello's. Her bed folded down, and she used it as a sofa as well as somewhere to sleep. Her kitchen took up part of the bedroom, and a door led out to a bathroom. Two rooms were all she lived in.

"What's wrong?" asked Matt

"Doesn't it bother you?" Mello demanded shaking his head.

"Lots of things bother me!" Matt defended. He frowned.

"Nothing you ever lost any sleep over though eh?" Mello ran a hand through his hair the other on his leather clad knee.

"What are you on about?"

"Something's not right with that girl!" He gestured towards the bathroom with his thumb. "She's not right at the moment. Doesn't that mean anything to you?"

"It means a lot to me!" He protested. "I know that she's not right at the moment. Alright? But I don't need that too. She says she's fine leave her be. She's doing the misery thing and you lash out at me because I'm the easiest target! But there's nothing I can do about it is there?"

Mello gave him a look that was worthy of an auditor. He sighed and marched up to the bathroom door knocking lightly. Matt stood up and hunted for Sara's remote, the tiny tv wouldn't be much good without it. He couldn't believe she still had it in black and white. He was annoyed, it wasn't as if it was his fault? Besides what did Mello want from him? If he could have done something for Sara he would. But one person, especially someone like him would never make any difference. At last he found the remote and sat back on the bed growing angrier by the second. Mello was starting to drive him nuts with the mood swings and the sulky behavior.

Mello had pushed open the bathroom door. "Matt can you phone for an ambulance. Quick!"  
>Matt never moved so fast in his short life. He jumped up following the sound of Mello's voice to the tiny bathroom and it was as if he hit an invisible wall. There slumped on the floor a tablet bottle by her side with a few scattered pills on the tiled floor was Sara. Very few pills were actually on the floor. Mello was cradling Sara's head on his lap, stroking her hair slowly and gently. Whispering her name. "An ambulance now!" He repeated, almost screaming.<p>

He grabbed Sara's phone from the bedside, shock freezing his eyes open.

Mello and Mat sat together, Mello's arm over his partners shoulder. "Mello..?" asked Matt.  
>"Shush!" He scolded in a whisper. "Saz will be alright. You'll see. She'll be fine."<p>

Matt looked up and down the tiled corridor. The place looked more like a school than a hospital. But it did actually smell of disinfectant. Still he wondered if they actually knew what they were doing. And where was Sara? They'd only let them both in the ambulance because Mello had insisted and kept his hand in Sara's all the time. And the moment they'd arrived Mello and he had been ushered to a waiting room whilst Sara was put onto a trolley and wheeled off somewhere else.

The minutes ticked by, tick tock, tick tock, and still nothing. No word from anyone, no nurses came, no doctors. Nothing at all. At one point a man looked at Mello, winced and walked off. "You can get rid of the CCTV right?" Mello whispered from the corner of his mouth, he was eyeing a camera.

"Sure thing." Matt whispered back. He excused himself for a moment, to go to the 'toilets' while he downloaded their security.

"Gethin? Jack? Ah here you two are!" A co-worker of Sara's marched up the corridor. They'd seen him vaguely at Rhys's funeral. Mello sprang to his feet first, following his lead Matt did the same."Sara's said so much about you two! It's a shame you didn't have your wits about you!"

Matt was puzzled, he thought he was supposed to be a genius. He looked from the man, to Mello and back to the man. Mello looked just as confused but he was better at hiding his true emotion. "And what's that supposed to mean?" he asked.

"Well honestly!" The co-worker rolled his eyes. Mello almost expected him to flick his hair. "My number is in Sara's phone book! If only you'd phoned me first! Honestly it'll be in the news tomorrow! Psychologist attempts suicide! They won't bother with names of course! But they'll decide that she took an overdose because of this country's medical plan or something stupid like that!" He frowned. "Thankfully I can do something about that."

Mello shook his head, trying to convince himself that his mind was playing tricks. No one in the world was that heartless, especially someone who was meant to be a friend. "Sara tried to kill herself!" He spat.

"Oh she didn't!" The man scoffed, his greasy blonde hair slicked back with an overdose of gel. "Darlings anyone who tries to kill themselves takes a lot more than fifteen sleeping tablets. Ok I know it's probably screwed her body up, but come off it. She of all people should know that twice that much would deffo kill her! She just wants attention and sympathy!" He laughed slightly. Before starting to press the buttons on his phone.

Matt turned to Mello. "Mells, what..?"

"Hi, Rob?" the man's voice cut across. "Listen I'm at the hospital..yes, of course she's fine..it's nothing. But can you stop the papers getting this story?..say it was an accident..it's not a story then..right...Yes..Of course.." Mello smacked the phone out of his hand, throwing it to the ground before grinding it under the hell of his boot. Matt stared at him, heart racing, and eyes alight in some new kind of admiration. "How dare you?" The man demanded.

"Go to hell!" Mello screamed at him. He swung a fist for the man's head, it connected knocking him to the ground. But the man, had obviously been trained in some kind of defence because he kicked back catching Mello's chin. Matt backed away. As a nurse ran closer. The co-worker swung at Mello, who dogged. "Matt get the fuck out of here!" Mello bellowed.

Matt nodded hurrying past a nurse who tried to stop him from leaving. He could always return later. In a blink of an eye another punch came hurling at Mello's face. He didn't have time to doge that time, and hit caught his jaw again. Blocking another punch from the man he grabbed him by the collar headbutting him directly in the mouth. He brought his knee up and smiled as the man winced in pain. He slammed his fist into the man's face hitting his nose until it was bloody.  
>As a frightened nurse tried to end the fight Mello turned his back. The blonde co-worker disregarded the order, and picking up one of the chairs slammed it into Mello's back. Dropping to the floor Mello gasped trying to defend his body as the co-worker kicked him. He flipped the man over and drawing a knife from his boot stabbed the man's leg, causing him to release his grip and fall back slightly. Finally he was pulled off the man without warning.<p>

No warning shout, no nothing. There had been a scream, footsteps charging. A door banging, and a few more footsteps to the floor they were on. "DROP IT! GET DOWN!" A voice, maybe it was more than one voice screamed at him.

Staggering to his feet he turned to the voice only to be pushed down onto his knees then to the floor. Chin hitting the tiles hard he bit his tongue and with a last breath swore. He still gripped the knife hard, his arms were being jerked behind his body forcing him to drop the weapon. Hands bent backwards as cold steel cut into his wrists. He was pulled to his knees and yanked up. Pushed forward as he lowered his head, pulled and tugged and punched toward the exit.

He was marched out, out of the hospital into the cool night time air. He gasped as he was pushed into the back of a car. The car started to move, his hands still restrained behind his back. Whole body hurting now not just his mind.

"Tell me about your partners involvement with the mafia."

"My partner is not in the mafia." Mello denied, the words coming out as a slur. He was tired, and didn't remember how long he'd been answering that question for. One hour? Five hours? Twenty?

Two plain clothed police officers sat at the table opposite him. Only one of them had actually been talking though. "I'll ask you again then. Which squad of the mafia do you belong to?"

Mello shook his head, he looked out from behind his fringe. As soon as he'd realised there was a security camera there he'd been nervous. So he tried to obscure the image of his face as much as possible. From that angle they couldn't see his features anyway. He just made sure to have his fringe shading his eyes. He was about to say the Mafai didn't have 'squads' it had cells, when he thought better of it. "I don't."

"What's your name?"

"James." Mello spat.

"When did you join the mafia James?" the man repeated.

"I didn't."

"When did.." He looked down at his paper. "..Gethin join the mafia?"

"He didn't as far as I know."

"When did your friend Sara join the mafia?"

"She didn't. She hasn't."

"You sound incredibly sure about that." The man raised his eyebrows. Mello spotted a streak of grey in his hair.

"Of course I am." He replied.

"Not so sure about Gethin now are you?" He raised his eyebrows again. "Lots of good lads like you get involved with this kind of thing. But you don't have to be."

"I'm not."

"What squad does Gethin belong to?" asked the officer. "Apparently there's no footage on the CCTV of either of you. However nurses described him as a known mafia associate."

"He doesn't belong to any of the squads."

"Come on. We know all about your involvement with the mafia. Nasty scar." He commented. "Did you get it in an explosion?"

"No." Replied Mello.

"We know already James. We know everything and anything about your involvement."

"Really?" Mello smirked. He ran a hand through his hair lifting his fringe ever so slightly to look them in the eye. "Then what do you need me for?"

The two exchanged a look. He was pissing them off. Good. "If you confirm what we know we'll go easy on you."

"Don't know anything." Mello rested his head onto his arms on the table, but the talkative one pushed him back up again.

"Don't mess about with me mate." The non talkative one spoke. He had dark brown hair, of a similar shade to Sara's.

"I'm not your mate." Mello eyed him up and down. He was getting cockier by the minute.

"I'm not someone you want to make an enemy of _mate." _He raised his eyebrows again.

"Did you explode the warehouse with the police officers in it? Was it your idea or your partner's?"

"Don't you hate all authority figures?"

"Why did you attack the Dr?"

"How old where you when you joined the mafia?"

"Who are you?"

"You'd do whatever it takes to kill as many of us as possible, am I right?"

"What's your real name?"

"Are you American?"

The questions went on and on and on. There was no break, no rest. He found his head spinning after a while. But he knew he'd take it. He let his mind wander slightly so that he was thinking of Matt and Sara. Where were they that moment? Had the police caught up with Matt too? He bit down on his lip slightly in case he voiced his thoughts. He let his mind go to nothingness.

His repeated answers were tired of eventually, and with an arm being slipped under his own he was supported to his feet before being frogmarched out of the interrogation room. He wandered if they knew that they had the Broken Angel there and then. If they had that knowledge perhaps they would have handled things in a very different way. Perhaps they should have been proud of themselves. For this was the first time, that Mello had been caught and for something so petty.

His fingerprints hadn't given them anything, and he'd made the Kira appeal about the photograph. No criminal was forced to be photographed unless they were charged now, any photo evidence had to be deleted. All part of Kira's effect. They'd said if he wasn't guilty why did he worry, he said it was because Kira might kill him anyway.

The station was cold and unfeeling. Each wall carefully designed to hold someone back from a freedom they longer for. A small cell with a barred and bolted door with no window soon confined him. The slamming of the door startled him as he was pushed through it, he sat down on the small metallic frame of a bed, with a worn out mattress and a thin blanket. In the corner of the small inhumane cell there was a toilet bowl, unclean and overused. Mello knew he wouldn't be using it, privacy was non existent. There had been a number outside but he couldn't remember it.

Looking up Mello saw that the security camera was watching him, well it had been already but now he actually noticed it. He eyed it, and dragging the heavy bed towards it used it as a step to reach it. He didn't look directly at it, instead he moved a few of the wires around as he toyed with it. They'd taken his ID away, his false one and they'd taken the knife, two guns and his studded gloves. They'd searched him, which he'd smirked at. He wandered when they would notice that the camera wasn't working. It had of course worked for Matt before.

Putting the batteries down he got to work. They'd taken his belt, and his chains. He couldn't believe it! Well he could, but he wasn't going to admit it. He felt a spark of adrenalin rush through him. Oh it'd been a while since he'd had to break out of somewhere. He grinned, this was going to be fun. He almost forgot about Sara, in a hospital somewhere. Almost..


	31. Chapter 31

Mello decided he might as well lay down. There wasn't much more he could do for the night. He leaned back, head hitting the brick wall. He swore, running a hand through his hair he sighed. He knew they couldn't be watching but he still felt self conscious. Not the moment that he'd fallen to sleep, he heard knocking at the door, more like hammering. He wandered why they bothered because it didn't seem to make a difference. They were going to come in anyway. Sitting up he gave them a groggy grin, wanting them to know he was enjoying each and every moment of it.

A man he didn't recognise opened the door, handcuffing his hands once more. Mello smiled again showing them a toothy grin. "Are you charging me with anything?" he asked pleasantly. It was as if they were talking about the weather.

"Someone higher up wants you." The man smirked leading Mello out. Mello sighed, he'd been looking forward to seeing if his contraption would work. "He goes by the name of.."

"Let me guess, L?" asked Mello. He grinned again lowering his head as they passed the security cameras.

"Pretty boy's intelligent then? No wonder he wants you. But you're wrong." The man pushed harshly now.

"So you're not taking me to L?" Mello raised his eyebrows.

The man frowned but Mello didn't see it. "Of course not. Why would he bother with someone like you? You're going to be observed by C."

"Why would he want that?" demanded Mello. He tried to keep then surprise out of his voice.

"Don't ask me."

"Where are you taking me?" He demanded again.

He was shoved this time. "New York." The man spat. And that was the end of the conversation. Mello was pushed forward and into a car as out of the corner of his eye he caught the eye of a familiar blonde. Of course, if Rhys had worked near here she'd have some reason to be there. Just collecting some things of his, or that's what it looked like. He saw her catch his eye, and as she did so he mouthed the words _New York._ It was where Near was, and where C wanted him. He hoped he'd got her attention before the man who had been joined by another hauled him forward and into a car that took him to an airport.

The jet ride was too long. He was tried, but it had been dreadful trying to sleep, one being the fact that the handcuffs on his wrists were cutting them, and two he felt more uncomfortable that the guards were still watching him. Guess he couldn't blame them, who wouldn't want to stare at such an attractive thing as him?

They'd finally told him that he was being handed over to C in an old building. Apparently C worked for L, but Mello doubted that. He didn't know who C was, and he didn't know why he was being taken there. He had pointed out that it was almost certainly against his human rights but they hadn't paid much attention to that. They were taking him there for some reason and it wasn't good. However as soon as they had told him the address of the building he was quite pleased. It was one of Wammy's, but he wasn't about to give them that pleasure. He'd get out by himself.

He'd researched it for one of Watari's classes before, one of his criminal justice ones. The place had been used to hold criminals for a short amount of time, but he wasn't sure why they were taking him there. Surely even if they did suspect him of being Broken Angel they would charge him? It didn't make sense. But when he'd researched it he'd found out that the guards had to be bilingual, which wasn't a problem for him! He spoke English and nine other languages fluently. But it wasn't as if he wanted to talk anyway.

The plane finally landed in New York, and he was escorted by three officers, giving him approximately ten minutes of looking at the landscape before he was escorted into the building by three officers again. Who would have thought he'd need to be escorted by three large men? They obviously did. He took in the tiny place quickly, but it looked miserable in gray stone bricks. It looked like a smaller version of Wammy's house. Strange really, he'd never intended on going back there. When they finally got passed through the first check he was led into the building by two of the officers and stopped in a tiny room with a chair and a smaller table with a grey white bin on it. The first officer removed Mello's cuffs and stepped away.

"Strip." The man ordered.

Mello hesitated at the command. He smiled slightly licking his lips. "Sorry but I don't for free." He winked.

The guard didn't react to this. "Come on.." He frowned.

"Are there any cameras in this building?"

The guard who's face was hidden shook his head. "Kira can't get you here. We have surveillance but no photographs are taken, none of the angles will see your face. But we will have sketches done by our artists."

Mello glared at the man, and rolled his eyes. He removed his leather vest and placed it in the bin, he decided to demand for it back. Because it honestly had cost a lot of money. He slid his pants off, grinning at the guard, and shaking his hips slightly. The man stared at him with a hardened stare, so Mello cut him some slack and removed the rest of his clothing without much complaint. The guard asked him quite politely to turn around so that he could be searched.

"I'm not in bad shape am I?" He smirked. It was degrading.

The guard then turned him around, and with a gloved hand fiddled inside Mello's mouth. He wandered if he should bite down on the fingers, but as soon as he decided to the fingers left. The man ran a hand through his hair too, as if Mello could hide something there. Well Matt had done that before, and gotten away with it. The man didn't give him his clothing back though, instead he handed him underwear, socks, a plain shirt and a pair of dark trousers. Mello frowned.

"Are you legally allowed to do this?" he demanded.

"What do you think?" He raised his eyebrows and looked slightly away.

Mello slipped the shirt on, pulling the jeans up too. They smelt clean which was odd. Just as quickly as he'd got dressed the cuffs were fastened around his wrists once more and he was being pushed forward again down a corridor. The guard pushed his head so that his face was hidden from the CCTV camera, but as that happened Mello caught a glimpse of the man's. It was ugly, not that he cared for anyone but Matt.

"This is B1." He smirked. "Try not to get too comfortable." As he said this, Mello's hands were released and he was pushed into the cell. He didn't worry much though, it would take only a second or two to get out of it. That was an exaggeration, but he couldn't be bother to worry about that.

The cell was depressing, a dim beam of light from a bulb on the ceiling lit the room. The walls were a yellowish colour, which reminded him of a mental ward he'd once visited. There wasn't a toilet, or a sink, there was nothing. Just a small indestructible bench he took to be his bed. He looked at the blanket and suddenly found himself thinking. He sat down eying the security camera, and deciding to confuse who ever this C was, he lifted his knees to his chest, so that he balanced on his toes. He placed his thumb nail slightly in his mouth, and cleared his throat. He looked out from under his fringe at the camera.

"_This is C." _The voice was changed electronically. "_I can see that you are eyeing my security system." _Mello could almost imagine the owner of the voice smirking. "_Do not be afraid, I am not Kira."_

Mello rolled his eyes. He looked at the floor. "I know that. If you were Kira I would be dead by now."

"_That is correct, _James." He made it sound as if he knew that James wasn't Mello's name. "_Why have your handcuffs been removed?" _He demanded.

"I don't know. Perhaps you trust me?" Mello smirked now, he liked this game.

"_Please do not attempt anything." _The voice sighed. The door was pushed open, and two guards appeared. Mello reckoned he could take the smaller of the two, but with a weapon pointed at him it'd be quite hard to take both. The guard clipped Mello's hands behind his back, tightening it slightly until they cut into his wrists.

"So you can hear him?" Mello asked, neither answered instead both left slamming the door. Mello heard it lock.

"_That's better."_ The voice smiled. "_Now _James _tell me, do you know why you are here?"_

"No." Mello smiled. "Otherwise I wouldn't be. Would I?"

"_Welcome to Wammy's investigation and holding cells. Maximum security of course. Do you know why you're in maximum security_ James?" His tone was so patronising Mello didn't doubt he was related to Near. Mello nodded his head. "_Would you mind speaking?" _The voice presumed C said. "_We don't record tapes you see, but audio's fine. As we know Kira doesn't kill using voice!" _He said it in a cheerful way.

"I have a theory." Was all Mello would say. "However if you are one of those against Kira imprisoning me does nothing."

"_Are you willing to tell me who you are, and what your involvement with the mafia, and the Kira case is?"_

"No."

"_Then I'm afraid you can't be released. _James _did you know that the man you attacked was an agent of mine? Of course as you seem to know L is working on the Kira case, but we have as you would say other fish to fry."_

"He swung for me first." Mello denied.

"_So you admit attacking him?" _

Mello swore in his mind. "I-yes. But attacking someone is not worth this."

"_Of course not. However I too have many many theories. But we shall discuss that another date. That is until I have your cooperation, and your name. I could use someone like you _James. _And that partner of yours. Why, you're both genii. So would you care to tell me the redheads name? I do believe he is a hacker."_

"I don't have a partner. I would like to leave now." He stated clearly and firmly.

"_Then there's no one to notice if you don't leave!" _Mello scowled at this, but refused to look at the camera. "_Really _James _if you're going to be defiant then I'll just talk to you. You'd be a wonderful asset though. Now you're IQ is quite high, and of course if I came to talk to you elsewhere you'd probably find a way out. But believe me I haven't had anyone escape from here before."_

Mello smirked. "That's because I bet you haven't had anyone in here before."

He almost imagined C smiling. "_That may be true." _

Mello grinned, a wonky grin. "Well if you put it that way maybe I'll behave."

"_So tell me _James," the person talking hesitated. "_Are you a troublemaker?"_

"Well it depends on who was asking. My teachers always thought I was, but I wouldn't say so."

"_I grew up knowing that troublemakers would be punished. So you better believe it. I have a nice smooth system and schedule. And don't bother trying to make things difficult. I could do with some excitement. So I really don't think that running will do much good, I'll just have you dragged back. Understood?"_

Mello hesitated. Was he really asking Mihael Keehl, the boy who always got out of tight spaces, the boy who had been locked in a chest at the age of nine and had escaped, to not try and wriggle out of it? He was. "Yes, I do understand you." Mello licked his lips. He was using his arm to support his bodies weight against the cold stone wall. The shackles that felt quite wide to start with on his wrists seemed even tighter.

"_So," _the voice picked up again a small electricity crackle. It sounded almost as if the man was simply trying to make conversation. "_Tell me about Broken Angel. Is it a codename, or a codeword?"_

Mello shrugged. "I don't know."

"_My friend, please do not try to be intelligent I know that you are! Now is Broken Angel a codename, or a codeword?"_ he repeated.

"Yes." Mello answered.

"_Which one?" _

"Yes." Mello echoed.

"_You seem the religious type. Are you a member of Broken Angel? Do you know who Broken Angel is?" _

Mello shrugged, he rocked slightly on his heels. "I seem the religious type?" he asked.

"_Why yes. Along with the belt, the chains and the..spikes," _he said the last word with disapproval. "_But we also confiscated a crucifix and a small pocket Bible."_

"Your point being?" Mello questioned.

"_You fear this world don't you _James_? I've been watching you, and when your fear turns to hate you get dangerous. Now come on, I'm not going to look away and ignore you. Lying is a sin, so please do not lie to me. Now tell me, who is Broken Angel? Or is it a codeword?"_

"Yes." Mello decided he wasn't lying, because it was a codeword and a person. He was also saying yes, that he was Broken Angel. It wasn't as if it was his fault that C whoever he was was too stupid to work that out.

"_Is your partner Broken Angel? Did you come up with the name?" _The voice asked through the speaker.

_"_I do not have a partner. I did not come up with the name_." _Mello shook his head. At least half of that was true.

"_You blew up the warehouse did you not?"_ The voice crackled again. "_That scar of yours is quite dreadful."_

_"_Why don't you give me to Kira then?" demanded Mello. "You see, I'm not going to say much and I already attacked one of your 'agents'" you made quotation marks with his fingers in the air. "And if you've decided I'm a criminal then why am I not dead yet?"

"_Well you see, I do believe that if I give your name to Kira I too will be killed by Kira. Does that make sense?"_

"No."

"_Ah. How about I tell you something, if you tell me something? Is that a deal?" _the voice asked. Mello sat back normally because L's thinking position had just gotten uncomfortable. "_I used to know a man who sat like that. He said it helped him think. But would you mind responding?" _

"It depends."

"_Have you heard of a place called Wammy's house?"_

Mello debated for a split second whether to play stupid or to answer truthfully. He had to remember that there was a camera like a tiny eye watching him. He slammed his fist into the wall, the physical pain coming as a relief. "No. Why?" he asked, frowning slightly in an attempt to look confused.

"_Don't worry not many people have. You see Wammy's house is an orphanage for incredibly intelligent children. Oh and please don't do that."_

Mello wanted to correct him that it was actually an orphanage for children with exceptional intelligence and skill. Instead he simply said; "Uh hu."

"_It was founded after the Second World War, and has not been closed since. It raises children with such intelligence, and trains them."_

This wasn't what Mello thought, but he nodded along to it. "_You know of L? Well L was a child of Wammy's house, and ever since his success the orphanage had been creating copies of him. Children trained as successors for when his death comes about. I was third in line, but now it's too late. I've left and now I run this. But you see, kira knows of Wammy's house. And anyone who is close to catching him, and I have no doubt that a child of Wammy's will, he will not hesitate to have them killed. Therefore I can not risk that, unless it is necessary." _

Mello saw a lot of holes in this idea, but he wasn't about to correct him. As far as he knew it was the only thing keeping him alive. "How do you know that I am not Kira?"

"_Because," _the man sounded tired, "_if you were Kira you would not be caught for something so stupid as fighting."_

"Touché."

"_And also, for fighting apparently to defend the 'honour' of a woman who goes by the name of Sara?"_ Disgust again sounded loud in his voice.

"It was nothing to do with honour."

"_Does Sara know that you are a member of the mafia?"_

_"_I'm not."

"James_ don't kid yourself. It would be so much easier if I could let you out of there. But honestly without knowing who the hell you are it's really quite difficult." _He paused for effect. "_Is Sara Broken Angel?"_

_"_No."

"_You seem sure?"_

"Of course I am!" Mello countered.

"_Does that mean you're Broken Angel?" _C raised his eyebrows and watched the man, who couldn't be older than nineteen rock back and forth.

"No!" The voice came through the speaker that connected the two rooms.

"_Did you know that Sara was originally from Wammy's house?"_

Mello was careful to answer. If he said yes he'd be accused of lying, if he said no it would be a lie. "No." He said slowly. "I didn't know that." He reckoned he had leeway to be confused.

"_Something to consider isn't it. She lied to you about that, maybe she lied to you about Broken Angel. But please remember _James, _Broken Angel is someone we need on our team. We believe that Broken Angel is in the race to catch Kira. Without the Angel we can't do this."_

_"_Why would the Broken Angel work with you?" demanded Mello.

"_It sounds almost as if you know him. However Broken Angel is also a criminal, and eventually must be punished. I am working with L, and I will not hesitate to contact him."_

"But from what you've said," Mello praised his sentence carefully. "You would want to beat L am I right? What good is a copy when the original still exists? I suppose _you _would like to catch Kira first?"

"_As I've said I have bigger better fish to fry. However if we had Broken Angel on our side, or at least with us we would completely eliminate L from the competition. Besides we could help Broken Angel."_

Mello flipped his hair with a finger. "I doubt that."

"_Are you Broken Angel?"_ The voice was tiring now.

"Stupid question." Mello replied. "I'm not Broken Angel."

C cocked his head, and bit the nail of his thumb still staring at the monitor. He seemed incredibly well informed for someone who knew nothing. "_You act as if you are." _He commented.

"I'm not."

"_Who is?" _repeated the voice to Mello. "James _why are you here?"_

Mello shook his head remaining silent.


	32. Chapter 32

**AN: Guess what..it's me again! I bet you're all annoyed that I'm spamming you with my updates! I want to thank SyC0bEar for following me for so long! Check out her stories guys, they are really good. Secondly thank you for reviewing, but please do continue to do so. But the rest of you guys haven't reviewed for ages! What's wrong, do I bore you? if I do please say so..but without reviews I cry! I know it's exam season-I've got over mine! But please whenever you can review. Wait till after the exams but please don't not review! I don't mind '_late' _reviews! Lack of reviews is making me slightly more depressed than usual. Anyway-rant over sorry!**

Sara hesitated for a moment, steeling herself she knocked on the door of the hotel room. It was in her name after all, because Matt wasn't quite meant to be signing anything. Besides it got suspicious if anyone asked. So instead of booking two rooms she'd got one with twin beds. "Leave me alone!"

She walked in, darting slightly to the left as his pillow came hurtling towards her. "Are you deaf?" Matt fumed, he was sitting on the thin bed and scowling. His laptop was balanced on his lap, he seemed to be working. "Oh, it's you." He replied sulkily.

"Have you found out where Mello is yet?" she asked.

"Oh yeah!" Matt raised a sceptical eyebrow. He was getting good at that, perhaps he'd be a complete redheaded clone of Mello by the time he was thirty. "Do you really think I'd be sitting here doing nothing if I knew where he was?"

"I'm thinking of going away."

She instantly gained Matt's attention. "Why? Where?"

"Back to the UK." She said slowly. "After Mello's back of course.

"To Winchester?"

Sara shook her head. She didn't look him in the eye, instead looked directly above his head at the pale cream wall of the hotel room. Matt looked her up and down and she began to feel uncomfortable. "What do you think Mello'll think of it?"

"We don't even know where he is yet." Matt pointed out.

"But you can track him right? With that thingy in his teeth." Sara didn't know the word, so she used her usual substitute.

"It's not a thingy it's a—"

Sara cut him across. "I don't care what it's called!"

"Well I do!" Matt fumed again. "And if I could trace it we would have found him! But it's bouncing like hell."

"He'll be ok." She tried to reach a hand out and put it on Matt's shoulder, but was pushed away.

"He better be! And I think going back is a great idea. Which is why I suggested it to Mello a few weeks ago. We've got more than enough cash in our shares and our..let me say _profits _to be set up for a life time." Matt smiled dryly. "After the Kira case of course."

"You did?" Sara was astounded. "What did he say?"

"You're not the only person in the world who needs to get out of this life. We've both made enough to last a lifetime. You just want to get out of here don't you?"

Sara sat down on the end of the bed. "Is it really that obvious?" she asked.

"Saz, me and you we've never got on. And I'm sorry about that." He sighed. "Maybe if we were able to count on each other we'd have done so much better. Instead we've both tried to get on on our own."

"What are you on?"

"Come off it Sara. You're a mess, and I get bitchy and spiteful. If we worked together the first time we lost him we'd have done it quicker. Instead I ran off and left you t graduate thinking Mello was dead."

Flames shot through Sara's body. "You drink to escape." She raised her eyebrows.

"No I don't." He denied.

"Oh?" Sara rolled her eyes. "You've started wearing cider perfume."

"Cider isn't alcohol duh." Sara started to laugh.

"You're acting like a fifteen year old!" She grinned.

"I'm nineteen." Matt pouted. "Besides it's not like vodka or anything. I just like the taste of it."

Sara shuffled closer to him, squeezing his shoulder. "Trying to convince me or yourself?" she asked quietly.

Matt burst into tears, the last thing either of them expected. Sara reached an arm out and put it around him, allowing his head to rest on her shoulder making him feel worse. "Saz I've been such a twat to you."

"I'm sorry Matt, but I've got to get out of here before my head explodes. After the Kira case of course, after Mello gets back."

"We'll be with you." Matt promised. "I'm working on it with Mello."

"He doesn't control what I do."

Matt raised his eyebrows tear stained cheeks. "Really? But I know you can't bare to be away from him."

"That's not true." Sara's turn to deny.

"Really?" he simply raised his eyebrows.

"Are you getting anywhere?" she asked now, leaning away.

"I think so. I'm wearing him down. When he gets back," for neither had said _if _yet "he'll say yes. I'm sure."

"I hope so." She smiled.

"Don't worry Saz. Come the end of the Kira case, come this time next year you and I and Mello will all be out of the mad house."

"You sure?"

"I promise."

She looked at Matt and he looked at her, all the events of life finally catching up with both. She wanted to say sorry for everything that had happened to him, sorry for everything that was still happening but even when she said this in her mind the words sounded completely inadequate. Better to say nothing than to say anything. It was safer to say nothing. "Is there anything I can do?" she asked. But maybe she had done more than enough. Her and her kind. Bringing Matsuda into everything. It was her fault he was at the hospital in the first place. Matt didn't answer as she risked looking him in the eyes. He just watched her intently. "Are you..?I.."

She wondered whether she should sit or she should stand up now and go to the other bed. She stood up, going to the door and locking it. Sighing with a relief at the click of the lock she turned back and sat on Matt's bed once more. "What's wrong?"

He stared at her for a second, his expression freezing her. "You must be so proud. You and your little attention seeking little methods have landed Mello locked up somewhere rotting."

"It's not going to be like that.." She tried, knowing that that was likely a lie. "It wasn't—"

"I heard what that co-worker of yours said. You take more than a few sleeping pills to kill yourself." She didn't take her eyes of his face, out of the corner of her dark eye she saw his fist clenching and unclenching. She didn't dare move, she didn't dare blink. She hardly dared to breath. Matt was hurting so much, and it was ripping him up inside tearing him to pieces. And he wanted to hurt someone. "What about you Saz?"

"What about me?" she asked whispering.

"You and Mello. No more of that then." Matt spat with contempt. "Don't you love him anymore? Or just can't dare being seen dead with a mafia boss like him?"

"He's not a bad person." She claimed. "He's never been."

"Well everyone knows that. But he's mine. You understand that. Mello belongs to me." His head slumped down in despair.

"Matt I'm so so very sorry.." She touched his cheek.

His head shot upright. He glared at her with white burning hatred, as if she had slapped him. "He loves me. You understand that. I don't _need _your pity!"

"Shush please.." she pleaded glancing at the door.

"Why?" he demanded. "If I don't get him back, it's going to be your fault!" He challenged.

"Mihael Keehl doesn't belong to you." She snapped eyes flashing furiously.

"But he doesn't love you and he never will! He's asked _me _to marry him! But you can't keep your hands off him!"

"Matt don't.." She didn't realise that tears were forming until a tiny salt tear ran into the corner of her mouth.

"I want to kill you. I want to smash you and every other bit of competition that crosses my path. I hate you so much it scares me."

"I-I know that.." She whispered. "You've hated me since you met me, ever since I came to Wammy's." She realised it as she said it. "Because Mello was my friend too. He was kind to me, and he was good to me. And hell yeah I've always loved him. But I could never ever do that to you. I saw what you had and I hated it. But unlike you I give up on things I can't have. I settled for second place with him!" As she said this she realised quite a few things.

"And you've hated me for turning my back on you and for stealing Mello. If I hadn't come to Wammy's perhaps you would have been fine with life. Perhaps Mello would have worked with Near for your sake. I really don't know." He didn't bother to deny it. "So why are you with me?" Matt asked softly to himself. "So why are you here, looking for Mello? Why do I consider you..?"

"As your friend?" Sara supplied. "Because you know that's what I think of you. Because I love Mello, and you love Mello..I think."

The words snapped Matt out of his thinking. A hard mocking look flamed his face, and Sara waited for him to react. To do anything. "I'm damned if I know anymore." He admitted.

Sara had so many things she wanted to tell him, but the jumble of words would not come. She turned to look at him properly and wrapping her arms around him lay on the duvet cover taking him down with her. She kissed him, and he kissed her back. Nothing but comfort kissing, but kissing after all. Looking for some kind of solace, in her mind she kissed Mello and she knew that in Matt's mind he was kissing the blonde too. Bear hugging now, squeezing the life out of one another.

"Turn around." Matt whispered.

Sara didn't question, she just did. He wrapped his strong arms around her, Matt sighed as she shuffled back closer to him. His body warm against hers. "Are you ok?" he repeated.

"Na." She mumbled softly.

"Am I squashing you?" he asked again. He hoped he wasn't.

"Uh-uh!" She answered in a language unknown to man.

"You sure?"

"Matt do me a favour. Shut up." She felt that if she had been looking at him she would have seen a smile crawl across his face. She hoped he'd heard her, because she was quiet now. But then she thought of something else. "Matt I'm sorry I sat by Mello."

"What?"

"By Mello at Wammy's. In science when you weren't there. And I'm so so sorry about Rhys's funeral." She was sorry for the million things that had gone wrong.

"Me too." Matt agreed.

Sara closed her eyes, allowing her mind to wander away. It roamed across the lands of dreams but it kept returning to her anchor. The one person she saw each time she shut her eyes, a blonde whose face was scarred. She breathed out whispering his name, she didn't know if Matt had heard her. If he had he didn't bother to react.


	33. Chapter 33

**AN: It seems I haven't updated in ages! I'm so sorry for that. I've had science work and IT work that I just hadn't done :/ Seems I only do work for English and Welsh. I've had quite a week. A slightly sad one. But I'm happy to be getting reviews! So how is everyone? Which Death Note pairings are the best? Any new opinions? Favourite Death Note quotes? Read and Review!**

Mello knew that today was December the first. He was blinded by the lights in the room. He cocked his head slightly looking at the decor around him. It was obvious that C wanted him to feel unease and discomfort. It would be strange to even think that he would want anything of the opposite. Lifting his bound hands he felt his shoulders click from the sudden use. He moved them again feeling the cracking once more. He wasn't happy with being bound, but he was glad his hands were in front of him. There were many ways it could be worse. He had some control over how he sat, but this was not a battle of positions like chess. But a battle of power.

"Good Morning James." C's electronic voice. "How are you feeling? Did you enjoy supper last night?" His voice penetrated the soothing silence. Mello looked up at the microphone. He'd worked out the night before hand that there was no way yet of getting out of the room, and there wasn't a way he had found of disabling the cameras.

"You know I didn't eat last night." Mello spat, his mouth dry.

"We did offer you food." His voice sounded so superior it reminded Mello of Near. "But it seems you refused it."

Too right, thought Mello. "Are you going to let me go?"

"I have a case I want you to look at first." C paused. "What are you thinking about?"

Mello shook his head, though it meant nothing. "I can be a control freak sometimes." He sighed.

"Oh, how true." C said. "But I've known worse."

"Why are you telling me this?" Mello demanded. Perhaps C was trying to befriend him.

"Could you elaborate?" C asked. He tried to keep the curiosity out of his voice, curling a piece of dark brown hair around his finger. It had grown quite long now.

"No." Mello wandered if he would answer, but he did not. "Why?"

"Curiosity James." The man sighed. "Curiosity."

"Point being?"

"I can not release you until you give me some information. But today, we are going to look at a case today. I believe you could be a fine detective one day."

"If I cooperate will this situation move forward?" Mello demanded staring directly into the camera. His eyes pierced C's, though he did not believe that the boy had xray vision that saw things miles away. The direct video link was the only thing connecting him to the blonde.

"Maybe." C smirked, the smirk visible in his voice. "But maybe not. By the way, I do believe that we have someone hacking our video feed."

Mello's senses became aware. "Really?" he asked, he started to stand to his feet. "Who is it? What are they doing?"

"My technology expert is a child of Wammy's herself. She nine years ago of course, but she's an expert. Whoever is doing this must be incredibly intelligent. It should be impossible."

"Right." Mello frowned. "So it's someone smart?"

"Why of course." C rolled his eyes. "Do you think it might be Broken Angel coming to rescue you? Or is it the partner that we know is so wonderful at hacking? Come now James the quicker you talk the quicker you get out of here."

"I do not know what you are talking about." Mello denied. He hoped it was Matt, he prayed it was Matt.

"He seems to be viewing everything we're seeing. And interfering with the lights. There will be someone there to collect you shortly." The microphone made a buzzing noise as his voice left.

Mello nodded it sounded about right. And then he started to pray. "Oh Glorious St Matthew obtain for us the grace to see Jesus living in his Church. Lead me to him so that I may forever spend my life with thou in heaven. Take me from purgatory so that we may live forever with him in heaven. Amen." A short prayer different to the one he had made last night. But hopefully Matt would understand.

Hopefully. He banged his head against the bed with frustration. He felt so stupid. If he hadn't got caught fighting he wouldn't be here. What if he never saw Matt again? He felt so hopeless, and continued to knock his head against the wall until he became dizzy from his stupidity. Getting up he laid back on the bed. Out of the corner of his eye he noticed the lights flicker slightly, almost like a pattern. -.- Y . E ... S Morse code. But what exactly did "Yes" mean.

"What's to live for in this life?" he asked the ceiling as he stared directly at it. Each and every day I get knocked down Matthew. And each and every day I have to pick myself up. There must be a cost to it all, mustn't there? I trust in you." He paused, knowing that there was bound to be someone listening to him. "Eternal sorrow is always plaguing my soul. Tarnishing my lungs and corrupting my mind. Why do I feel so hopeless?" He shook his head slowly. "Why am I so hopeless? No one would ever look at me twice. Yet the Lord has blessed me with the love of his Saints. How kind. But even they are not faithful to me. Kill me now my Lord."

C's voice boomed over the crackling microphone once more. "Are you ok James?"

Mello laughed cynically. "Does it honestly matter?" He paused. "I don't care."

"It sounds a little over dramatic. Is life hard for you James? Because joining me will make is so very _very _much easier."

"Don't analyse everything. It's a mistake most people make!" Mello snapped he tugged a piece of dirty hair away from his face. "I'm not joining you or telling you anything."

"I see." He said this, indicating the end of the conversation.

The door clicked open and Mello stood up, almost confused. A heavy looking man who had obviously no training in dealing with hostages or prisoners. It seemed that C had only hired him to be buff. Mello rolled his eyes standing up. He knew there was no chance of him jumping the man while he wore handcuffs, the man had a weapon. But if he had use of his hands perhaps he would be able to make a run for it. He could remember the way to the exit and entrance. It would have to be perfectly timed though. The man pulled Mello forward frogmarching him to another room.

The room was small and white. There was a desk in the room and a chair beside that desk. But that was all. In the middle of the desk there was a laptop set up in a way Mello had seen many times before. It was completely white, apart from a large letter C that stood alone in the centre of the screen. There was one guard, slightly taller than Mello standing inside the disinfectant smelling room already. The other joined him locking the door after undoing Mello's hands and handing him a file of paper work. Mello flicked through it slowly, deliberating and licking his lips. He noticed there were two paper clips in the file. Noticing that the guards weren't looking directly at him he slipped it into the cuff of his shirt after realising there were no cameras in the room.

He nodded slowly. "Really?" Mello threw the folder back down onto the desk sighing.

The electronically altered voice broke across him. "Why James, is this mere child's play to you?"

"I solve things like this in my sleep." Mello boasted, raising his eyes. "The blood from the wound that killed him ran from his temple to the back of his head just above his ear, right?"

"..Yes.." C sounded almost curious.

"It should have gone downward. If the car was still it would have flown down." Mello paused slightly eyeing the paper again. "You haven't given me all the information have you?" He raised his eyebrows. "There had to be some kind of force or momentum to make it flow backward."

"What kind of momentum?" C demanded, he found himself leaning nearer the laptop.

Mello sighed. "I don't know. The car being driven?" he asked. "That'd be about right."

"Thank you James." The voice crackled. "Do you think I could talk to you in private? Joe, Lenny please leave."

The men shrugged, leaving the room and locking the door after them. "Why'd you ask them to go?" Mello demanded.

"I wanted to talk to you James. Are you going to give me your real name?" The voice asked again.

"No." Mello frowned. "Are you going to give me your real name?" He countered.

"Good move, James." C's aggravation wasn't shown in his cool calm voice. "To be honest I have never known my _real _name. Do you not like addressing me as C?"

Mello raised his eyebrows crossing his arms. "I don't give a toss what I call you."

"You can call me Kaz." The voice gave permission. Mello said nothing. Simply shook his head. "How did you sleep?"

"Fine." Mello snapped, he knew that he hadn't actually slept much at all.

"And you are ok?" The voice filtered into the room so pure it fitted perfectly with the white and silver room.

"Of course." Mello didn't really want to talk to a person he hardly knew any further than necessary. But it was something to do while he figured out what the hell _he _was going to do.

"Why are you so cold?" C asked, voice seeping into Mello's head. "If you would only cooperate with me then we would be fine here. You helped me with that case, you do know that."

"How do you know that I've been telling the truth? I could have lied." Mello suggested.

"How would I know? Oh James I thought you were meant to be intelligent! Why should I—" The voice was suddenly cut across as a large "M" possessed the screen.

"Mello!" Screamed the voice. "Mihael Keehl are you there?" It sounded panicked and scared.

"Matt?" Mello begged, he put his face closer to the laptop.

"Mello! Where are you?" Matt begged.

"..so how do you feel?" Kaz finished.

Mello sat back, in an attempt to act normal. "How do you think I fucking feel?" The anger in his voice wasn't harsh enough.

"My apologies for the dismality of the condition that you are in. But may I remind you you are being held here for a reason."

Mello rolled his eyes he'd only been there two days. He didn't need reminding. "Point being?"

"That I need you to cooperate. We need people like you. I don't want to be taking away any of your human rights."

Mello almost laughed. "You think this is _not _against my human rights? What kind of freak are you? You're making a mistake! Just let me go."

"I'm sorry James, but I can not do that as you know. So how do you feel?"

"How do I fucking feel?" He paused for a second. If he did this right he might get some pity. "I feel angry because I'm locked up for no reason. I feel I'm being blamed for something I haven't done. I feel hurt." He leaned back in the chair. "I feel sad."

"Mello!" Matt's voice took over again. "Can you here me? C can't here me!" He paused. "I've over ran his program."

"Help me!" Mello begged.

"I can't!" Matt shouted. "Mello? Mello? Are you there..?"

Mello shook his head gripping the chair. "James?" C's voice came through clearly again. "James can you hear me? What can you hear? James why do you need help?" He demanded.

"I want to sleep." Mello said.

"Lenny, Joe!" The voice ordered. Perhaps they had their own microphones they certainly hadn't been listening to the conversation. They came hurrying into the room. "Restrain him and take him back to the cell." Their hesitation seemed to annoy C. "Do it!" He ordered.

Mello smiled as they clicked the cold steel around his wrists once more a hand on his shoulder guiding him back to the small cell. He could feel the paper clip in his cuff, not knowing what he was going to do with it he knew it would be creative. Hell it might even give them all a show. He winked at the security camera once he heard the heavy door slam. He honestly didn't care if it was C or Matt who saw him do it.


	34. Chapter 34

Mello woke up to such serene darkness he almost felt relaxed. He hadn't felt so in such a long time. Sitting up he felt his shoulder click, his muscles stiff so that they ached with each tiny movement he attempted to make. Trying to stretch to no avail he did not mind. He wasn't sure if it was his third day of imprisonment in the dreary place, or the second. He'd gotten there about noon, so it was probably the third. He was almost happy though, the silence made it peaceful. His life had been so very hectic it was almost like a break.

"Good to see you're finally with us again." The voice echoed in the silent room. Blinking Mello confirmed he was in the same room as he had been previously, and that nothing seemed to have changed.

"And?" Mello yawned. What had the man expected? That he wasn't going to wake up?

"How are you?" Mello wandered if C was trying to make conversation. Or if he actually cared.

_He probably doesn't care. _A tiny thought inside of Mello's mind sounded. "But what if he does?" Mello demanded.

"What if who does James?" The electronic voice filtered through again. The question hung in the air like cold ice or the smell of air conditioner. Loitering in the air for a few seconds before departing swiftly back from where it had come.

"How the fuck do you think I am?" Mello demanded angry tone returning. The lights in the room had not been turned on, it was dark. _You feel threatened. "_No I don't!" He argued. _"Help me.."_ He heard he whimper come from his mouth. He hadn't forced himself to speak though, that was odd.

"What is it James?" C found himself peering at the monitor. Who was this man talking to? He dragged a dark painted nail along his chin. He wondered, if only he could learn more about him.

Mello found himself shaking. He felt the paperclip in the cuff of his shirt. The night before hand he had succeeded in straightening it out. He had now a semi sharp bit of metal. "Nothing." Mello shook his head. _I'm something._ "No you're not." He found his lips moving once more.

"I'm not what?" C's voice sounded almost panicked. The confusion did not linger this time.

_Shhh Mihael. Don't worry, a few more seconds..back to Matt._ Soothing from nowhere, but Mello couldn't manage to locate it. Scanning the area for the voice he decided it wasn't there. "I'm fine." He managed to stutter. He fingered the paperclip.

"James I want to make your stay here as comfortable as possible." C assured to Mello's amusement. "But I can not help you unless you talk to me." He figured this was true enough.

_He doesn't really. Otherwise he wouldn't be keeping us here. Tell him that._ "Then let me go." Ordered Mello he couldn't believe he was taking advice from himself. He half blinked as the lights finally came on, bright and blinding above his head. The shadow looked like a figure for a second before disappearing hand outstretched. _Do it now._ Mello shook his head he wouldn't.

"You know I can't do that James." C sighed. "I would love to. But I just can not." Taking a sip of tea he stirred it thoughtfully waiting for the response.

_You know you want to see Mattie. Tell him. _"No!" Mello burst out.

"I'm sorry." C apologised, he actually sounded sorry. _Perhaps he's a good actor._ C wondered if the dirty blonde was delusional.

_You'll have to. Forty seconds left. Tick tock. Tick tock. _"I don't want to die!" Mello begged. He didn't know why he had said that, but it had left his lips like silk. Flowing from his mouth in such a natural way to prevent it would have been cruel.

C stared at the screen blankly for a second. What was the man talking about. "James are you ok? Do you need a particular medication?" He needed this man alive, or at least in good condition. Such a wonderful mind would be a magnificent addition to his team. He'd never met such a young genius that he had not found from Wammy's itself.

Mello shook his head, for a second he clutched his chest feeling pain throb into it. It ran its course through him like poison in a wound. Corrupting his lungs and working its way to his heart. The pulse beating in a rhythmic way that reminded him of bells. He could hear it clearly now, thumping in his chest as if it were about to explode out of him. What was happening? Confusing spread throughout his mind like the venom from the wound. Cursing him and spreading like smoke. Figures without faces grabbed at him. Dragging him into further darkness destroying all hope he'd had left. "I-I'm f-fine." He choked out.

"James!" C shouted. "James can you hear me?" He had had to shout now. The blue eyed man didn't seem to be able to hear him. Perhaps his connection was failing them both.

It was so very cold now to Mello. He needed warmth, he wished there was someone there to hold him still. To stop the swaying even if it was so very gentle. _Why should I help you? Do it now._ Mello shook his head again grabbing at his throat with his chained hands. "Please help me!" He begged. "I made a promise!" He had and intended to keep to it.

"Promise?" C raised his eyebrows. "Was this to the Broken Angel? We will provide you with protection if you do decide to join us." He hoped this would satisfy the man he knew as James. Was that what he was worried about? Being killed by the Broken Angel? C didn't know for sure, but he hoped he soon would.

"I-told-you!" Mello spat. His eyes rolled back slightly as he clutched at his head now. "I don't know the Broken Angel. I don't even know who he or she is." _Time up._ The voice echoed within the citadel he called his mind, bouncing off the walls that protected what was inside.

"James?" The voice asked as Mello fell silent. "James?" Suddenly C's eyes widened with panic as he stared at the body slumping forward in the bright but now dark cramped cell. He couldn't see clearly on the computer monitor but what he saw did not look good. His panic turned to aggression."Stop him!" He all but screeched into the ears of the two untrained unprofessional security guards. "Stop him now!"

Mello staggered up, hurting so very much. It hurt so much. There was black on black layered with black. "Hands where we can see them!" He heard another faceless man shout. He didn't understand why.

He felt the darkness eating at him as the faceless figures grabbed at him again pulling his makeshift blade away. He lashed out at them unknowingly slamming his head into the strong hard wall. The cool stone collided with his head and he felt his scar cry out in pain. Feeling hands grab at him again and bringing his knee up he made one groan in pain. Mello could not feel anything, not that there was anything to feel. Slamming his whole body into the wall again he screamed out something that echoed on the stone walls, C was unable to decipher it. The pain numbed instantly, for he had no body to feel anything for.

He felt dizziness return as he was dragged to his feet. "What's happening?" C demanded. No one answered him, he felt anger rising in his throat.

"_Kill me now!"_ The hiss was unrecognisable. C could not tell from who's mouth it came, but it was certainly a hiss. Like a venomous snake Mello twisted and turned as the two men struggled to restrain him.

"James I need you to calm down." C kept his voice steady. Steadiness was always good. _Lies. All lies._ The voice soothed again. "James please calm down."

Mello lost control of his emotions. His body slumped to the floor, head banging against the stonework. His knees had literally buckled under his weight like a badly constructed bridge. He bit his tongue when his chin collided with the ground, arms landing awkwardly around him. Large sweaty hands restrained him now, the dark began to crumble like pain seeping off an old wall. The world seemed to be shaking.

He tried to stand but heavy hands pushed him down. _Well done._ The voice echoed once more. Mello embraced sleep at last.

"James?" C's voice broke the tension in the air. He clutched the monitor like a mad man. "James?" He shook his head in disbelief. "Is he?" He demanded. The guard holding Mello up looked at the other shaking his head. "What is it?" C begged again.

Matt too stared at his computer screen in disbelief. Mello's seemingly lifeless shell was being supported by two men. He couldn't make out what they were saying, they seemed to be shaking their heads. Blind panic caught him. He had been that close to discovering the location. He had almost got it. He watched as they pulled Mello upright, eyes shut his head lolled forwards. "Mello?" Matt screamed though he knew Mello would not hear him. He pounded his fist into the table. "Mells?" Shaking his head he felt a warm tear slide down his face wetting his cheek. "Mells!" He shook his head wildly now. "Mells please! No..no.." Pounding the table he pushed the laptop away from him.

C let out a tiny gasp. "James?" he asked again. He eyed the blonde's body so still. He couldn't tell if he was breathing or not. "James? No.." He shook his head. "I never thought...please no...Watari no I didn't mean for this to happen...please...oh God...oh God...no..please no..." He shook his head refusing to let tears spill from his crystal like eyes. He let out a tiny hysterical laugh. "This isn't fair! It can't be fair!"

Far away a shingami watching the human realm sighed. Stretching out his wings he made his way back to the game of cards that the others were playing. "Rem was right." It paused. "Humans are truly disgusting."

"Gak!" A spider like one laughed. "But they're amusing."

Shaking his head he watched curiously as the redhead sobbed attempting to link himself with the image of his lover. He flicked to the hostage holder, who appeared to be laughing. "Hrm.."His croaking voice sounded out. "All this because Ryuk dropped a notebook." He sighed a metal crunching noise. "Consequences."

If you threw a stone into water it always created ripples, they got bigger and bigger. But finally returned to their cause.


	35. Chapter 35

Mello stumbled to his feet, looking around he darted toward the road. He was in the middle of nowhere, going nowhere doing nothing. But he was doing something. He was trying to run, to run and to save his own life. He couldn't look back if he did he would fall and if he fell all would be lost. Just keep running. _Keep moving Mello._ He heard Matt's voice. Turning he grinned, but Matt wasn't smiling back. The gravel hit his legs as he managed to throw the shackles to the floor. He sprinted forwards, the stitch in his side was growing. He had to move he had to get out of there. But Matt was behind him, he looked differen't. He was standing right behind him now, like a ghost able to appear and disapear at will.

"Good sneaking." Mello smiled a wry smile. "Matt?" Matt stepped forward kissing him on the lips a brief icy kiss. Pushing him away Matt gestured behind him with his thumb, four men aproached running. Mello's eyes widened in shock. "Matt we have to get out of here!"

"_There's no we_." Matt corrected steel like glint in his eyes. Then they filled with regret. "_Run Mello_."

Four men running towards them, towards him. Mello did not bother waiting to see anymore. Turning he ran, away from them away from where Matt had stood. But he hadn't been there and Mello knew this. He ran away from that spot running for his life. He could hear their voices cast against the evening sky. Knowing they were shouting he didn't bother to decipher the coded words. There were no footsteps heard, just shouts. No lights stood along the road as he raced towards it, slower than he would have liked to, he knew he had no chance. "_Run. RUN!"_

He reminded himself not to look back. If he looked back they'd have their arms around him they would stop him. He was not to look back, he was not to think. Most importantly he refused to think about Matt. Then he realised his mistake. They were in the middle of nowhere. He didn't know where he was meant to be going. He didn't know where he was. And he was running away from the only safe place he knew, with four men after him. _"Head for the road."_

Sprinting toward the welcoming darkness he was grabbed around the stomach before his fourth step. He swung around kicking back with his heels and throwing his head back at exactly the same time. "Fuck!"

The man, Mello assumed it was a man let go slightly and he hit the ground running..straight into a punch to his stomach causing him to double over. "That was for my brother." The voice belonged to the one who had delivered the punch. His stomach felt as if it was on fire. Burning through his skin turning all his bones to ashes. Arms clamped around Mello holding him and without letting him move dragging him back. Mello atempted to slide out of the grasp but he was ready for it. He grabbed his hands before the blonde succeeded in freeing himself. Closing his eyes Mello refused to let tears stain them, he refused to let himself whimper. "_Don't pass out.."_

He opened his eyes long enough to see the glint of steel directly above him before darknes engulfed his head stealing him away into a land of dreamless sleep.

"We did it!" Scott punched the air.

"I'm proud of you baby brother." C clapped him on the shoulder. "Very proud."

Scott squared up to his brother spinning suddenly and slamming him against the wall. "Don't you ever, ever doubt my loyalty to you again."

"Alright." C kept his cool. Out of the corner of his eye he saw two of the men that had helped restraining Mello the second time. They'd simply pushed him into a car and moved him, to the middle of nowhere. It was simple. It was clever. He held his hand up to stop them advancing. Scott didn't care he'd take them all on to get to Cerwyn if he had to.

"Understand?" Scott repeated. The freckles on his face made him look younger than he was. He slammed his brothers head to the wall once more.

"Understood." C smirked. Scott released him at once bright orange hair spiked on his head. "So baby brother you've grown a voice?" he asked.

Scott raised his fists. "Meaning?"

"Peace!" C laughed at the expression on Scott's face, a patronising laugh. One that Mello had become accustomed to the rare occasions when Near laughed. Clenching his fits Scott realised he'd never truly wanted to hurt his brother before, before this day. He unclenched them slowly. "You did good." C complimented gently.

"I know." Scott turned away. He grabbed a can of coke from where it had been sitting and opened it. The new location was hardly adequate but apparently a hacker kid had managed to find a way to trace them. Meaning they'd all had to move. Apparently his stupid brother had wanted to talk to the suspect in person, but now Scott met him he seemed incredibly familiar.

"What's our next move?" Demanded Ben.

"Hold on a second. I need to talk to him when he comes 'round. Understood?" C asked. Ben nodded.

"Why are you even holding him?" Scott rolled his eyes.

"I'll explain in a moment baby brother." C smiled again, he seemed relax. Most people would be able to realise that he and Scott were brothers even if they did not look so similar. They had the same kind of personality, not that Scott would ever admit it. "Come with me."

They headed for their makeshift prison cell. Walking the short but dirty corridor that joinde the four room brick cabin. It wasn't much but it would do. There was a kitchen which was disgusting, neglected for so many years it had been amazing. Thick layers of greese lined each and every surface, they hadn't bothered to use it. C had asked if someone would clean it, but Scott had refused blatantly and had used his fingers to do most of the talking for him. There was a bathroom that couldn't really be called a room. It was more like a cupboard that held a toilet, and a shower and a tiny sink. C had insisted that that room at least had been cleaned. There was a bar of soap, and a bottle of something bubbly that Scott took to be shampoo. Apart from that there was a living room which used to be C's, it now held a few sleeping bags, some food suplies, a couple of weapons, something explosive and a few computer screens. The fourth room was a prison cell.

At the sound of the door unlocking Mello struggled to sit up. The bed here was nicer, he had to admit that. His whole body ached, had someone tried to hang him? It felt like that. The door opened, Mello looked up moving his hands from his face. He wasn't going to show the captators how hurt he was. Then he saw the redhead standing in the doorway, he met his eyes and felt the boy look away. Letting out a tiny gasp before he could help himself he decided to say what he was going to say anyway. "Scott?" He asked.

The boy's eyes widened. He blushed furiously then rushing forward he held Mello's face in his hands. "Mells?" He asked. "Why are you—? Is that you?" He gasped pushing himself away from Mello. "What happened to your face?" He turned to his brother. "Kaz, it's Mello."

Mello's mind was shutting down. He couldn't think, he couldn't stand. Why was Scott here, then he felt his body slumping slightly as he recognised the man's voice. C. "I'm not going to help you." Mello protested.

"Must we break an arm or two to persuade you?" The man behind Scott asked.

Scott turned to face him staring him down. "Don't you trust me to question him? Why is he even here?"

"Nothing like a good kidnapping in the family is there?" Mello rolled his eyes.

"It's not what it seems Mello." Scott protested holding his hands up.

Mello leaned back. "Really Scott? Because I was under the impression taking and holding someone against their will was kidnap. And that's what your brother's been doing?"

"I trust Scott." C raised his dark eyebrows and in the dim lighting he looked almost scary. "I'm just supvervising. But it is odd, because it seems Mello that you've told us some very, very naughty never thought someone would recognise you from Wammy's did you? So tell me _Mello _are you Broken Angel?"

Scott shook his head. "What the hell's going on?"


	36. Chapter 36

There was no warning shout this time either. There was no warning gun shot. Simply the thundering of feet along steely corridors and shouts as the building was attacked. Mello didn't recall what had exactly happened. But he knew that something was going on, for C turned sharply like a vulture and headed out the door. Mello took this oppertunity to shove the boy who used to be his friend, into the man and bolted for the enterance.

Sprinting he heard voices behind him, Scott one of them. And then he felt his eyes sting and his throat burnt . They stung as shouts now sounded, some were familiar from his captators some were familiar in other ways. He staggered to his feet and continued along the corridor trying to push past dark misty figures. Finally his eyes blinded he managed to get outside into the cool refreshing air. He collapsed onto the grass gulping in the cold refreshing air like a man who had been deprived of it for so long. It soaked his lungs cooling the burning in his throat. His throat burned so much, matching the rest of his body, it hurt. It hurt, he gasped.

There were more shouts, he could understand them now. "Get down! All of you! DOWN!" A fierce voice, that sounded as if it was accompanied by a gun. "I said DOWN!"

Mello hadn't been aware he had been standing again, but his knees buckled underneath his weight as he sucked the fresh air in through his mouth. It tasted so good compared to the burning that he had experienced in the corridor. He could sense the confusion in the air. "Which one is him?" Shouted another voice. Mello blinked trying to get the tears to leave his eyes.

"Mello?" Matt's voice now searching wildly. He felt as if he were in complete darkness. He had to find Mello. He had to, if he didn't.."It's him! There!"

Mello felt arms helpind him to his feet, he shielded his face with his arms almost afraid he was going to be hit. Instead the arms guided him into a waiting car pushing his head down so that it did not hit the roof. Mello whole body was hot, he was amazed that he wasn't sweating buckets full of sweat. He was actually shivering, Matt held tight to the blonde trying to get his body to stop shaking. "What's wrong with him?" He demanded angrily.

"Don't ask me Hacker." The man sighed. "We did our part, you done yours?" He asked, he had the remanance of a grey beard on his face his gun was still in his hand. He had it pointed at a cowering man.

"You realise C won't be here, don't you?" Matt raised an eyebrow. The man wouldn't have hanged around, and it was obvious he'd escaped as they lead the remaining group out of the building including Scott.

"What do you want us to do with them?" The man gave the shaking ginger a dirty look. "This one looks younger than you."

"Matt!" He begged as one of Mello's men held a hand on his shoulder. "Please don't let them hurt me! Matt please!"

Matt hesitated as Mello shook. "I-it w-wasn't them." Mello pointed out. "C w-was behind i-it."

"Shush." Matt soothed running a hand through his lovers hair. "Drop them off somewhere."

"Fine." The man paused for a second. He turned to his group of men. "You heard what the Hacker said. Get moving." He turned back to Matt. "Looks like he's about to pass out." Rubbing his forehead from a deep pocket in his denim coat he withdrew a bar of chocolate he tossed it to Matt who's reflexes were faster than you would expect from a man who lived in front of a monitor. "Give that to him when he's awake. And tell him not to say I've never done anything for him. 'Stand?"

"Understood." Matt nodded slipping into the drivers seat as he clicked Mello's seat belt on. Mello was still concious but barely. He pushed the key into the ignition starting the engine before checking the mirror. He didn't know why he did these things in such a robotic way, but it felt right. Grabbing the steering wheel he span the car around.

"Long live Broken Angel!" The man who had thrown the chocolate to him called through his open window. Matt nodded to him waving, it was time to move.

Matt liked the silver car. He liked the way it felt, it was a good car. But it wasn't the right car for him, to pretty. But it sure was fast. It drove like an angel, and as he did so heading back to the hotel room he'd rented for the time being. He gave Mello a small grin as he felt a single tear slide down his face. He wasn't going to cry though. He wouldn't. Pressing the button of the radio he groaned as a crackly FM station came on, then decided against it so he pushed a cd into the slot. It was country western. Who knew the Mafia would like country western? Oh god, he thought letting his head drop into his hands as he slowed for a red light. He was worrying about something so god damn stupid. He turned to look at Mello, the scar ever bright. He looked pale, there was a tiny cut above his left eye.

"Why are you crying?" Mello's voice was hazy.

Matt laughed. "I'm not crying." He assured wiping his eye as he pushed the car forward again.

"You remember that..? I'm not crying _your _crying!" Mello laughed too, head lolling on the seat.

"What are you on about Mells?" Matt demanded. He let his eyes wander from the road for a second then back to the speadometer they were doing eighty. He should slow down just a lit-lot he thought. He didn't want to kill them with his driving.

"Remember we used to say that to each other? I'm not laughing _your _laughing. I'm not crying _your _ crying." Mello's voice was slurred but only just. _Ushed to shay_.. "And Sara did it too!" Sara came out as _Shara_.

Matt shook his head opening the windows slightly. "That was years ago Mells." He grinned.

Mello's eyes did not clear. "Remember Matt?" he asked.

"Yes I remember!" Matt promised he had to swerve when Mello grabbed his arm suddenly. "What is it?" he asked.

"You know I-I love you...right?" Mello asked voice rasping.

"Of course I know that." Matt assured. "Why wouldn't I?"

Mello paused for a second gripping the seat. "You might have...forgotten.." He whispered. "Mattie m-might forget about Mello.."

Matt paused he felt more tears coming. He refused to cry them. "You remember when you left?" He asked Mello.

"Y-yesh." Mello closed his eyes slightly blinking as he forced them open again.

"I cried then." Matt swore keeping his eyes directly on the road, he wanted to curl up in a ball. But he also wanted to hold Mello close to him at the same time. But he was driving. "I was so..so.." He hesitated signalling as he turned. "There isn't a word for it in the English language. "Hiraethu..so many words but none of them fit. Mello I was heart broken. I just didn't know it."

Mello sighed. "Sorry." It came out _Shorry._

"It's ok. And when I found you again. I cried. I cried, but I just didn't show you." He sighed. "I'm sorry. You talk about what you want to talk about. Just don't fall to sleep alright?" He asked. He didn't know why he said this, it just made sense. It made him feel like he was doing something.

"Keep talking." Mello ordered. He let his eyes shut but he opened them once more slowly. The blue pools that were his irisis were no longer bright but dull. As if the fire that had once lit them was going out. "Your voice is nice."

Matt let out a quiet laugh. Not full and joyus but simply a laugh to break the silence. "Ok. When we lost you, when I lost you I cried. I thought I'd lost you forever. And I know that I will one day. But I sure as hell aren't going to be staying long in this place without you."

Matt didn't have to specify what _this place_ was. To Mello it was obvious, but he had to fight hard to keep Matt's voice from fading away. It was getting fainter and fainter. "C-carry on.." He murmured leaning back, sleep was calling him.

Matt didn't know what to say. There were so many things he wanted to say. There always had been, but he just couldn't find his tongue to say them. Each sentence he thought of starting he finished in his mind, but was unable to open his mouth to force out the words. It was as if a thousand snakes were writhing in his throat begging to escape yet they were venomous snakes and if he released them they would kill him and Mello. He wanted to speak, but he simply drove opening and shutting his mouth like a goldfish. "I don't know what to say Mells.." He admitted.

Mello grinned eyes still shut. "You-you.."

"What is it Mells?" Matt's fake confidence fooled no one. His steering was still steady though, and he cursed the fact that C had decided to hide Mello in the middle of fucking nowhere. Then again that was the point. Matt wanted to strangle C with his bare hands. And to find that Scott was working with him? He'd have to ask Mello if he'd been able to talk to Scott. If Mello was ok. _No!_ He scolded himself, he couldn't think about _ifs _if he did he'd have to pull over in fear of crashing the car.

"You f-find out more on the Kira case?" Mello's head pounded. It felt like his heart was in his mind, perhaps that was where it was meant to be. His mind was doing overdrive and he had the odd sucpision that Matt was in the steering wheel. That would be nice, he wanted Matt steering his heart. He wanted to tear his heart from where it felt like it was bleeding in his chest and he wanted to give it to Matt. But he knew that notion was stupid.

"I haven't really been thinking about the Kira case for the past week." Matt informed him he choked slightly. "I've been b-busy." It was his turn to stutter.

"You h-haven't done any work?" Mello asked, he sounded almost..sad? As if he was disapointed in Matt for not doing any work. Matt was used to Mello's moods, and this was a minor example of one. He did not react he simply shrugged trying to keep his cool, and restrain his tears.

"No Mells, I haven't done any work." He sighed as he pulled into the parking lot. "You think you can walk? Oh god if you're going to puke do it outside. This car is borrowed strictly! Gwyn reminded me of that!"

Mello grinned in a melencholy way. "I'm not going to—" He staggered out of the car gripping the bonnet as he made his way around to Matt's side. Matt stowed the silver gun into his jacket. It wasn't the kind he'd usually use, but it'd been the only thing he could get his hands on. He vomited onto the floor, splattering the tires, Matt managed to hold Mello's hair out of the way just in time.

"Oh Christ Mells!" He swore looking at the tires, then he grabbed Mello by the shoulders to prevent him from falling onto the gravel. "It'll be fine, I'll clean it. Believe me mate, you'll thank me for keeping your hair out of the way tomorrow."

He led Mello away from the car and through the lobby. He pressed the remote on the key and heard the car beep, he shook his head. Cars weren't meant to beep, it wasn't proper. The blonde receptionist gave him a strange look as he led Mello through the bright lobby. The doorway was wider than Mello's and Matt's room back at Wammy's. Mello noted this. "My mate's had a bit too much to drink." Matt promised.

"Just make sure he doesn't throw on anything expensive." The woman with the tight bun noted as she picked up the phone. Matt was glad she hadn't said anything else. He wanted to move as fast as he could. Besides he payed a lot of money, stolen money, but money all the same, for somewhere to stay not for someone to ask questions.


	37. Chapter 37

**AN: Hello! I am back! Anywhoo...review please! I'm getting a little disenhearted I honestly am! There are about four people who review on a regular basis. Yet there have been over a thousand visitors. I mean one out of ten of you review ish. Really? That's not very nice! Please review! If you review any chapter of this I will read and review any of yours? I'll write you a one shot? Name your price! But remember...review!**

"Are we there yet?" Matt demanded. "We've used up at least a year's worth of petrol already!"

Mello turned to him peering through the gap between his head rest. "Quit exagarating! I paid for the petrol anyway, and Saz doesn't mind driving."

"Hmph!" Matt grumbled. "Make sure she's careful with my car! Strictly borrowed!" His voice was pained. He didn't care if she sped or broke any laws, but one scratch on that car; that beautiful car and he was dead.

"I can here you two. You do know that right?" Sara questioned. "Anyway it's not far. About five miles or so."

Matt nodded. A clue at last, five miles from the middle of nowhere. Well that made sense to him, he peered out of the foggy window trying to see some sign or landmark that might give him a clue as to where they were. He paused the game he had been playing to try and relax himself. "Ten miles?" He repeated.

Sara cofidentally continued. "Yes Matthew ten miles."

"Jeez and at the speed your driving we'll get there by tomorrow." He countered leaning back and pretending to fall to sleep.

"Shut up or get out and walk." Sara spoke as she drove carefully. The motorway was no way busy, but if Matt was that worried about the car she'd stick to the speed limit. She pootled along the lane watching as a strange shaped red car pootled along behind her.

"I don't see why we really have to go at all." Matt said.

"Don't start again Matt." Sara ordered. "It's now or never ok. It's only one day anyway. Besides you didn't have to come. You could have stayed in New York for the day. But _no_ you couldn't possible let Mello out of your sight."

"Yeah well I'm not losing him again. I just don't like J ok? I don't like the whole idea of going to see him. It's stupid and I don't like it. I don't like him."

"Why?" Sara asked. "He never hurt Mello did he now?"

That was true, there was often in the checkups a moment of pain but that was natural. "Just chill ok?" Mello asked turning around.

"Do you need to see him?" Matt added. "You're fine aren't you? You're not sick right? You're not too thin or anything. I don't reckon you've had a cold for the past seven years!"

"Matt!" Sara pouted. "That is beside the point!"

Matt groaned. "Come on Mello, you're fine. You don't need the stupid head doctor."

Mello sighed, the grey interior of the car was becoming more and more accustomed to him. "Mattie that's not really the point. Besides we're here now."

"Seriously?" Matt was astounded. "Can't we get this over with?"

"Oh just quit making a fuss Matt." Sara interupted. "I have a headache."

"Oh right! One of the famous headaches that come on the moment Sara doesn't want to talk about something!" he mocked.

"Just shut up Matt!" Mello snapped. They had finished a narrow winding lane, and Mello glimpsed out of the window noticing that there were no other cars anywhere near them. They had come to a halt in front of a small forest and to the right of the road set back along a small driveway was a cottage. There was no garage, no car parked outside. J never seemed to have a car, he always went by train. Mello stepped out of the car stretching his legs as Matt and Sara got their stuff out of the boot. They started along the driveway when the door openeed.

J looked no different at thirty than he had at twenty five. His hair was still sleek and cut into the short style it had been in the years before. Skin stretched in a taunt way over his cheek bones, and he smiled. It looked slightly plastic, his unnaturally white teeth shining in the dreary sun. His eyes seemed almost deeper than ever though, leafy almost. He still looked fake. Perhaps he was. "Come on in." It was more of an order than an invite. They went in through the tiny living room and Matt placed his laptop on the glass table, Sara simply sat her handbag beside her. J made conversation asking polite questions, but it was obvious his heart wasn't in it. Within minutes he was leading Mello upstairs and into the rooms that inhabited the second floor.

It seemed that there were two bedrooms but neither had any beds or wardrobes in them. Instead they were filled with odd looking machienes thaat Mello knew had he been a few years younger he would not have been able to resist pushing a few buttons. Gleaming silver and mutli coloured pushable items and pullable plugs lined the upper floor. Mello realised that there was in fact two chairs, comfortable looking ones but still hospital styles one none the less. One reclined slightly but it wasn't the kind of chair you relaxed in, it was the kind that you were examined in. In the purity of the room he felt like a sinner. J asked him to step onto a set of scales, he obliged.

Checking his weight J shook his head slightly. "You're a bit underweight aren't you?" He asked.

Mello shrugged. "I'll put on weight then."

"Hrm." J noted it down. He stared at the scar that lined the man's face. He felt comfortable calling Mello a man now, for he was. It was almost five years since he had seen him, yet it was obviously the same Mello. "How old are you now?" He asked finally.

"Twenty next Monday." He informed the man.

"You've grown up a lot then?" J asked, he measured Mello's height. But measuring didn't just include height it included the length of his fingers and the sapce between his eyes. J watched Mello's reactions as he did this, all the time impassive eyes hard as if he'd closed himself away from the word. As if he'd deliberately closed part of his mind down. They didn't talk a lot while J finished measuring, their talks would come later. For now all he said were things like "that's fine Mello", "Just sit down for a second,". "It must have been dreadful." He paused looking at the confusion on Mello's face. "Being kept by C."

"Oh yeah." Said Mello. "Well you know.." He finished the sentence so abruptly it was almost possible to hear the sound of clogs ticking as the conversation was ended. The conversation was terminated. Now it was time for his temperature, his blood pressure these passed very easily. But then came the bit that Mello had once hated- the blood tests.

He felt himself tense as J held his arm steady raising it. "It's alright Mello." Dr J informed. "Just relax."

"So how's it been goin-ouch! Fucking hell!"

"Sorry." J apologised. "I let the needle slip. Sorry." He repeated. "I'll just- there that's much better."

Mello waited for the blood to be taken and the needle to be removed and put safely out of the way before he asked again. "So how's it been going?"

"What do you mean?" J asked.

"How come you're not still at Wammy's?" He asked. "You know doing the whole 'I'm a good shrink' thing."

"Is that what you thought of me?" J mocked Mello. "That I only cared about my job?" He sat back in his own chair now, letting Mello sit too.

"Hell yeah." Mello agreed. He paused shivering even though the sun shone through the single window. He wanted to ask the question that he'd come here to ask. "Is it something genetic?"

He watched as J twitched slightly almost as if he'd been stabbed between the shoulder blades. He looked away then back again slowly. "What do you mean?" he asked.

"You know- some genetic illness in my family. You said you'd done research. Is there something that gets passed on?"

"Oh. You mean like a weak heart or something?" J asked sounding utterly relieved. "I assure Mello there's nothing like that."

"No." Mello shook his head. "You know that's not what I meant. I meant like a mental illness or something."

J pushed his glassed onto his face, they were new and made him look younger. He shook his head and smiled slightly. "I honestly don't know where you got that idea from Mello."

"I was thinking like my Great Aunt Elisa." Finally he'd said it.

"Oh," he paused slightly "I don't think your Aunty Elly was ill as such. I wouldn't say she ever had a mental _illness._ She was just a little bit eccentric."

A bit eccentric was an understatement. His mother's aunt Elisa had been loopy, of her nut and many other terms Mello would use. She had been totally paranoid and after his parents died she was even more paranoid. For as long as Mello could ever remember, and after the deaths it had gotten worse. The week before she'd died she had claimed that Mello was an imposter and the week before that she'd accusde the vicar or tealing her mail and burying a cat in her garden. How sane was that? Mello voiced this to J.

"Well we're sure that it's not genetic." He assured him. But they wouldn't ever know. Elisa would never see a doctor, she thought nothing was wrong with herself. "What started you thinking about her again?" he asked.

Mello shrugged. It wasn't as if he was going to tell the man anyway. He was just stressed, getting taken hostage wasn't an activity he enjoyed. He was more worked up than usual, and the nightmares were kicking off again. And now, ever since Matt had saved him he was sure someone was following him around. It happened in some of the nightmares but never in real life. Suddenly he realised what J had said, _Justin_ had said _we._ "Who's we?"

"Wow your full of questions. I wished you'd been this willing to talk to me before." J raised his eyebrows. "I wish you could talk to me now too." He informed the blonde. "How did you get that scar?"

It was Mello's turn to raise his eyebrows. "Haven't you worked it out?" he asked.

J shook his head. "It's not my place to make assumptions. But I'm the same age as C, and I know he doesn't act without cause. Or at least without thinking there is cause. So tell me, where did you get that scar?"

"It's old." Mello admitted. "A few weeks old. Believe me. C didn't do it."

"Mello are you part of the mafia?" He asked trying to sound relaxed, but it was hardly informal. Sara stuck her head around the door at that moment, passing J a drink of tea as they moved into the other room far away from where the blood tests had been taken.

Sara disapeared promptly like the ghost she was becoming. Mello sipped the tea she had brought him. "I can't tell you that." He informed.

"You know I won't give out information to Near." J promised.

"It's safer if you don't know." Mello warned.

"Believe me, why am I hiding out here in the middle of nowhere? Instead of staying in the city. This is my holiday Mello."

"Fine. Unofficially yes, I'm running the damn accosiation. Offically hell no."

"Cheers to that." They clinked glasses. "So have you had anymore nightmares?" He asked again attempting and failing to hide the concern in his voice.

There was no point lying to him about what he already knew. "A few. They've started again."

J nodded making a small note. "And can you remember what they're about?"

"No. Like I said before I can never remember." This wasn't the truth, and Mello felt his chest tighten and his hands begin to go clammy and hot. It was almost nice to think there was something he could keep private and secret.

"And how frequent have they been?" Asked J.

Before Mello could answer Sara's voice echoed throughout the building. "You know what Mail Jeevas I hate you! I despise you! You disgust me!"

"Well at least I'm not in love with someone who'll never love me back!" Matt screeched. Mello stood up as did J, rushing downstairs through the white rooms and back into the bit of the building that actually looked like a cottage. "That's right Mello. You might be blind but I'm not. She's practically dribbling just looking at you!"

"I knew Mello before you!" Sara screamed.

"Well he loves _me!_"Matt countered. "Just get over yourself. You're a kid from Wammy's house. Just like me, just like J, just like C, and just like Mello. But at least we admit it."

"I hate you." Sara spat her voice quiet now. "Mail Jeevas you're cruel. Things that you've said to me, I know that you are cruel. But Mello's not. Mello we're going. I hope you and _it _are happy. For your sake. But if you let anything happen to him, and I mean anything I hope you die and rot in hell. I mean it Matt. I honestly mean it."


	38. Chapter 38

Mello wiped a tiny bit of condensation from the window of the car as he peered out at the garage. He blinked, the sun was right in his eyes. It was too early, and the sun should have had no right to be up so early. But there it was as always beaming down on him so bright and happy. He blinked again shielding his eyes with his hands, what the hell was Matt doing, the idiot? He'd dropped his bloody wallet and was now scrambling to pick it up. Drawing a lot of unwanted attention to himself. Mello removed himself from the car and stretched.

They'd slept in the car the night before. They'd both been so nackered they'd pulled over in a lay by and just crashed for the night. They'd checked out of the hotel the previous day and neither had any intention of returning there. It was now Wednesday the tenth of December and aproximately six am. Too god damned early for Mello to be awake. After dropping Sara off at the airport (she had insited on catching the first possible flight) they had started to drive. They intended to get as far as possible away from New York and closer to Los Angeles once more. But they'd had to stop eventually.

Mello had woken kicking and screaming. He reckoned he'd almost given Matt a heart attack. Sweat had poured down his face as he lashed out screaming crying and begging for help. But now Mello reckoned if he didn't get somewhere to shower and something to eat soon he would kill someone. He just felt dirty.

Matt gave him a nervous smile as he stared at the nozzle as if it was a poisonous snake about to leap and bite him. "Are you sure these cards will work?" he asked.

Mello gave him a death like glare. "'Scuse me, but who are you and what have you done with Matt? We've used fakes before."

""It doesn't feel right." Matt protested as he fumbled with his wallet eyeing the garage doorway.

"Oh just go pay." Mello winced as the sun hit his eyes once more. "The woman at the kiosk is looking." Matt grumbled and started toward the shop. "Oh and grab me a bar of chocolate!" Mello comanded. He slipped back in the car. Finally Matt returned with a large bar of chocolate wrapped in silver. "It's not my brand." Mello complained.

"Neither are these." Matt flashed a packet of cigarettes. He slid back into the drivers seat. He insisted on driving ever since Sara had left. He had to admit she'd been an asset for their team, not that he would ever call the pair of them a team. She was good with head stuff, and give him a computer he could do anything. But they didn't need her, she wasn't his friend. Just some stupid little girl who he'd once known.

"They'll do." Mello grinned rewarding Matt with a kiss on the lips. Even though he hadn't brushed his teeth recently it wasn't too bad. He let his hand linger at the nape of Matt's neck just for a second. Then moved it back to where he clicked his seat belt. "And so will you."

Matt nodded. For once he wasn't being pushy, and Mello was grateful. Funny, he usually liked Matt's pushy desperation. But today he just really wasn't in the mood. "So what now?" He asked.

Mello looked at the clock on the dark dashboard again. Still too early. "Now we find somewhere to have breakfast. Then we go and check out the place I was telling you about."

"It's crazy. You do realise that?" Matt said starting the engine. "Which way now?"

"If we move into the parking lot there's a cafe just there." Mello pointed and Matt nodded. As soon as he stoped Mello darted out. "See you in the cafe." He promised.

Matt decided on a pizza for himself and an English breakfast for Mello. He laughed when he ordered drinks and Mello only wanted a water. Mello struggled to eat anything. "I'm sorry." He apologised. "I'm still a bit shaky."

"Understandable." Matt nodded.

"It's just everything." Mello ran a hand through his hair as he clutched his fork. "Are you going to tell me what happened between you and Saz?" He asked finally after slowly chewing for a moment.

"Mhm." Matt shook his head. "Nothing happened."

Taking a sip of his water Mello put the bottle down on the checkered table cloth. Looking around he wandered why he and Matt were getting so many looks. They were doing nothing intement, nothing that could ever be seen as wrong even to the most homophobic person. He was probably just imaging things as usual. "Yeah right." He licked his previously dry lips. "Something had to have happened. She wouldn't just be upset about nothing."

"It's not important." Matt promised. "This is good." He licked the cheese of his teeth.

"Don't try and change the subject!" Mello was offended. "Do you think I'm that thick?"

"No." Matt apologised. "Me and Sara we've never really got on. I don't reckon we ever will."

"She was screaming at you telling you to die. She was seriously pissed off. It must have been something." He raised an eyebrow as he pushed his food from one side of the plate to another.

Mello sat opposite Matt and as he spoke Matt realised the edginess in his voice was higher than usual. Then what would you expect. "Are you alright?" Matt finally asked.

Mello shook his head. "Just leave it please. I just want to know about you and Sara."

Shrugging Matt shivered slightly. "There's nothing to it. We just don't get on."

"Oh come off it!" Mello kept his voice in a bare whisper as he snapped at Matt. "Tell me Mattie."

"She loves you. You know that, and you carry on playing her!" Matt retorted flicking a strand of auburn hair from the edge of his mouth. "She's always loved you. Why the hell do you get that anyway? All the girls and the guys fall for you. They never remember plain old ginger freak. Why the hell are you so lucky? Even with that scar I reckon about three waitresses are already dying for your number!"

Mello's eyes narrowed for a moment then turned puzzled. Finally his face broke into a tense half smile as he tried to look relaxed. "I thought I was meant to be the temprimental one! I've never done any of that on purpose. You do realise that right? Sara's a friend; you're not threatened are you?"

"Me?" Matt raised his eyebrows. "Me? Threatened? By...by.._her_?" Matt didn't actually answer instead he picked up his glass- he'd opted for a soft drink and took a sip.

"I'll take that as a no." Mello laughed. The sickness in his stomach was rising. The atmosphere was dreadful, tension twisted in mid air hanging so solid it was like ice.

Finally Matt spoke. "So what are you planning to do now?" he asked. "Go and see this woman and kidnap her or talk to her?"

"Moi?" Mello asked mouthful. "You had the idea. And we'll talk to her of course."

"We?" Matt demanded. "We're a we now are we?"

Mello narrowed his eyes, his head was starting to pound reminding him of the nightmare he'd been having recently. "You make no sense in the morning."

"You wouldn't like me if I did make sense." Matt promised he stroked Mello's scar outlining it to the tip of his nose.

Mello felt the eyes of onlookers and watchers burning into the back of his neck. He liked Matt touching his face lightly but not in public. It just felt wrong. He shrank away shaking his head slightly. The constant pain had spread to his temples by now. "Not now." He murmured. "Later."

"Are you sure?" Matt pouted. "I don't have a problem with it. I'd be happy to stand up right now and declare my undying love to you." He paused for a second as a waitress passed the table he handed her their plates and shover Mello's drink towards him. Putting one foot on the chair he stood onto the table. He clapped his hands together. "Excuse me!" He called. "I need to say something. This man, this blonde sitting here-" He gestured to Mello. "This wonderful friend of mine, is the most important thing in the world to me." He paused for dramatic effect. "I don't know why but he seems ashamed of this. I want everyone here to witness that I love this man. He is my everything. And if you have a problem with it you can talk to me about it. Understood?" He jumped down from the table and smiled at Mello, who's unscared part of his face had turned a beetroot red. "Are you done?" He asked.

Mello nodded hands shaking still. He'd tell Matt about the nightmare, later. He looked around at the faces who weren't sure whether to smile, gasp or laugh. "I'm done." He agreed.

Matt nodded, smiling around at the cafe which looked even more crowded than ever. A short waitress whose blouse was undone slightly just enough in a provocotive way smiled at them. She handed him a bill and he handed her cash. Telling her to keep it. As she walked back towards her friend she muttered something in his ear. "Why are all the good looking ones taken or gay? Or both?"

Matt smiled. "So where are we off to?" he demanded once they hit the fresh air outside.

"To see someone." Mello answered.

"The wonderful wizard of ozz?" Matt asked winking he tickled Mello's ear slightly feeling a tingle go through his stomach as he did so.

"Not quite." Mello apologised. "Sorry to disapoint. We're off to see a woman who goes by the name of.._Halle._"


	39. Chapter 39

Halle yelled, or more like yelped in surprise as the shower curtain was pulled away. Her automatic reaction was to reach for the gun that wasn't there, she stared at the barrel of the weapon swaying slightly in the scarred blonde's hands. Looking up at his face she gasped slightly, his scar had simply gotten worse. Or perhaps she just hadn't seen it for so long. Mello'd taken of his dark coat and dropped it on the way up the stairs, Matt had hurriedly picked it up and laid it carefully on a stand.

"You can't go in there Mells!" Matt was still shouting outside.

Halle stared at him, not sure what he was going to do. Her gun had sat on the pile of clothes, but now it was in Mello's confident hands, pointed at her. "Put the gun down Mello." She ordered, trying to drag the curtain back around her. She shielded her body with her hands instead.

"Chill out Halle, I've got no intention of shooting." He dropped the gun back to where he had picked it up, he pulled the cord and the shower's water stopped flowing. "Good Lord are you always this jumpy?" He demanded as he let the curtain fall back around her. "Get dressed. I need to talk to you."

He walked from the room not bother to shut the door. Matt covering his eyes with his hand shut the white painted door quietly, and followed Mello downstairs.

She was shaking when as she pulled the jeans onto slightly damp skin, her fingers were uncontrollable as she hooked the hooks on her bra together. It's black material was faded, just like she felt. But she managed a smile when she made her way into the kitchen. Her hair pulled back into a pony tail she felt old looking at Mello and his; the only word suitable was companion. She nodded to Mello, hugging the dressing gown she'd shrugged on around her cold skin. Ignoring the redhead she pushed past the blonde and clicked on her kettle. "Tea?" she asked.

"Two sugars." Mello nodded as he flicked through a file she'd left in her bedroom. "What about you?"

Matt frowned, he felt rude. "No thanks." He paused. "Mind if I smoke?"

"Not at all." She frowned as he lit his cigarette. It had been sarcasm, but it had been lost on deaf ears. Glancing back at Mello she only saw one eye stare back at her from underneath the golden fringe. The other looked on blankly from the scar that covered his previously handsome head. Leather and chains hugged his body, and he stood unlike the other, casually eyeing her. She swalloed as she continued to make the tea, his indifference scared her.

He was eating chocolate. She almost laughed, why was he always eating? Or was that the same as asking, why was he always in a fight? He lifted one of his gloved hands to pull the shiny wrapper off and snapping off a piece threw it at her. "There you go." He nodded to Matt. "You're not getting any."

Matt made a face, but so did Halle. "No thanks." She threw it back. "I'm dieting." It was true, and she proved this by putting what Mello called "Foreign tea" in her cup.

Finally she sat down at the table, in her usual seat and passed the cup of tea to Mello. "What do you two want?" She asked. Then added, "and who are you?"

The grin on Matt's face expanded slightly and he looked at her in amusement. "Mello hasn't told you who I am?" He raised his eyebrows, puffing a ring of smoke into the unpoluted air.

Halle let out a tiny gasp. "Matt?" She asked. "As in the Matt? Well look what the cat dragged in. You didn't make a bad choice Mello. He's not that bad. How old is he? Is he legal? Have you been kidnapping teenage boys?"

"Relax Halle. But apparently you're Hal now. And yes he is legal, he's here by his own choice. Nice looking isn't he." Mello winked. Matt couldn't believe that the blonde had been embarassed beforehand. Mello laughed spinning his own pistol with his hand.

"Please put that thing away."

"You carry too." Mello complained.

Halle shrugged flicking her golden hair out of her mouth. "So?"

Laughing again he tucked the weapon away. "Fair enough."

Halle wanted to know how Mello had found her again. But if what he'd boasted about Matt last time was true there was no question. He'd traced her, she found herself calming down slightly and frowned. She wondered what Near would want her to do. It was obvious that Mello had no intention of harming her, he just wanted something. He always wanted something, he'd never come to her for anything else before.

"Don't look at me with that look." Mello complained, he picked up the spoon from his mug and extended his tongue to lick the edge of it. Eating the sugar.

"Should I just give you a jar of sugar to eat?" She asked, raising her eyebrows.

Mello smirked. "Where would the fun in that be?" His eyes followed her, and he sat down, his heavy leather boots found the table top. Halle wanted to tell him to take the dirty things off and shove his feet off the furniture. But she didn't. He was still watching her, analysing her and following her every move.

"Well why the hell are you here?" She gave him a hard stare.

"Nice house you've got." He commented. "I want the information you promised."

"Why don't you have him go hack Near's data? Or go ask for it from the headquarters?" She asked taking a sip of her tea. "Don't touch that!" She snapped seeing as Mello was eyeing a delicate glass vase and tracing his fingers along it. He pouted and put it back.

Mello sneered. "Don't be stupid Halle."

"It's Hal now." She prompted. "Not Halle."

Mello cocked his head slightly. "Is that what you get Near to call you? Or does he call you Ridner?"

Halle wasn't sure what he meant by that. Had he found some inneundo behind it? Or was he trying to gather some kind of information by asking that? Mello was still chewing on the chocolate, he didn't seem able to shut his mouth while eating. And he was still drinking and talking at the same time. Matt's hands were still occupied with his cigarette. "Yes." She sighed. "I go by the name Ridner."

Mello threw the crumpled wrapper at her, and she caught it before it hit her eye. "Put it in the bin for me Halle." He said gently. "I'm still calling you Halle. That's your name. I'll call you Hal or Halle but not your last name."

"Near's been asking about you." She commented as she tossed the paper into the silver bin.

"Really?" He raised his eyebrows licking his lips where the chocolate had been. "He thinks each person's a puzzle piece to use. But none of us are worth keeping. We're to be used and thrown away, we're dispensable. You do realise that don't you? He won't care if you end up dying for the greater good. If your death stops the Kira case, then so be it." He snarled. "Near won't ever feel human emotion."

"And neither will you Mello." She said quietly. "When you had that killing book, the mafia were experiments. They're all dead because of you." Mello's face twisted. "Just tell me what information you want, and then you can go."

Mello smiled slightly. "They would have died anyway. They died in the aid of Kira, and the only ones that died deserved it." His mind went to James but he blinked the thought away. "I'm not here to talk morality with you." He paused. "Who's gone further in this investigation? Near, or me? Who had the genuine notebook in their hands? Me." He frowned.

"You murdered all but four members of the SPK." She growled. "But you left me alive."

"Don't take it personally." He spat.

"And you go and blow yourself up." She eyed him again.

Standing up Mello leaned closer to her face so that his shredded face was visible in the light. Unbuttoning his shirt he pulled it off, showing the ridges that etched his chest, he showed her his neck with displayed more and more burns. "Am I a monster?" he hissed, eyes flashing like a snake about to attack. "This is what happens to people who risk everything." He snarled now, a tiger ready to jump. "This is dedication. This is determination."

Halle opened her mouth as if about to say something important, then shut it like a goldfish. "He's not a monster." Matt finally spoke, he stubbed his cigarette in one of her favourite china bowls. She'd put it on the table for some stupid reason, and now a stupid redheaded geek had just stubbed a cigarette in it. "He's a lot of things, but evil he's not."

"Shut up Matt." Mello snapped. "I screwed up Halle, and you know that." His eyes burnt through her soul. "But I'm not finished, and you're still helping me."

"What are you planning Mello?" Halle asked.

"Near assumes he knows everything. But he's not going to be able to do this without me. I'm going to catch Kira, and avenge L. And you and Matt are going to help me."

"How?" Halle leaned closer now, interested, she'd averted her eyes from Mello's scars. He shrugged his shirt back over his head not bothering to do the buttons up.

"I want all the information he gets. I want you to give it to me."

Halle wasn't sure who L was, she only knew what every other agent in her place would know. But from what Near had said he and Mello had grown up together training to become someone they never would. The two children had never ever got along, and they'd seen everything as a competition. Mello had never been first, always second and he hated Near for his ability to always come top without trying. "Why me?"

"Because you're reliable darling Halle. Besides, you've helped me in the past."

"You're getting cocky." She commented.

"I couldn't care less about what you say." He responded. "But I'm doing whatever I can to succeed. And you're helpind."

Matt stood up, and Halle was under the impression he was going to hit her. But instead he simply requested to use the rest room. As he walked out she wondered how on earth such a nice polite person ended up with someone like Mello. The redhead smelt of gunpowder and cheap deodrant.

Matt made his way up the stairs to the bathroom, he couldn't take much more of their bickering. Was this what he was like with Sara, but worse? It was horrible. He shut the door once he was in the bathroom and looked around as he unzipped his jeans. They were dirty and ripped. Not brought that way, but naturally just seemed to end up like that. At least they had no blood stains on them this time. Usually his clothes were stained in blood from someone or other. Finishing he washed his hands in cool water eyeing the contents of the room. The walls were white, the mirrors of the cupboard above the sink still covered in condensation from the shower. There was a box of tampons on one of the shelves, some face wipes, and a makeup bag. Two toothbrushes balanced in a pot, and a tube of toothpaste stood by them. There was a small bottle of strawberry handwash, and as Matt returned downstairs he found his hands smelling of fruity goodness.

"I'll contact you at a later date." Mello finished informing Halle.

Halle nodded, more relaxed now. She didn't know what's she'd expected. Perhaps she'd thought Mello would learn some empathy. But he obviously hadn't, still perhaps this Matt would be good for him. She looked at the folder in his hand, he looked more like a college student than someone investigating a serious case. But half his face was now scarred and unmoving, no longer he looked like a young boy than a man who had been through a war. In a way Mello had. He'd blasted himself apart voluntarily just to beat Near. That theory in itself was insane, then again Halle now realised the whole world was turning insane. Mello nodded to her, and turning he led Matt out without saying goodbye. Leaving the woman alone in her home, trying to make a decision that would make some sense to someone other than her.


	40. Chapter 40

Nate River was not one to celebrate Birthdays. At least not his own. Nate River had not celebrated a birthday since he had lost his parents. There hadn't been time, there hadn't been point. More spesifically no one was left to care for Nate, and so he had become Near. No one cared for Near either, but Near didn't need caring for. Because he was one of the many children that had been collect together in the proses to succeed L. But ever since he'd arrived at Wammy's, he'd become more and more robotic until even he did not recognise himself when he looked in the mirror.

But he'd always had one friend. Or so he thought. For even if he did not celebrate birthdays, he would still wish Mello a happy one. However he had not for almost five years. They were not close now. But they once had been. When Wammy's house had lost their first two succesors, Mello and Near had become instant rivals as everyone had expected. Succeeding L was important, being first was most important. The pressure was enormous. But as they got older they became aware of this, and Mello started to hate Near. Near threatened Mello's position daily. Sometimes Near saw it as pointless, he didn't care for competing. And sometimes Mello had wanted it to stop, by any means that were necessary. So Near could only imagine what it must have been like when the first children were there.

Near didn't let his face show what he was thinking. He understood he should be concentrating on the Kira case but some things were important. Twirling a strand of curly white hair on a long dainty finger he nibbled his lip as he often did. He looked at the Christmas tree that stood in one corner. It was exactly a week and five days until Christmas day. Not that Near cared for Christmas either, he did not believe in God. Not so much as it was illogical and unproven, but because if a God existed he would not have been so cruel. He sighed.

"Something wrong Near?" Asked a dark haired man standing by the doorway. Near shook his head, he couldn't even bother to remember the man's name. He was just another pawn on the chess board.

"No." He shook his head. "Nothing is wrong." He kept the calmness of his voice to a minimum he didn't want to seem too cold. "I was wondering, could I possibly have a moment alone. I am in the need to make a call."

The man hesitated. "Are you sure?" He paused, he had just asked a very stupid question. The strange pale boy never asked for anything unless he was sure. It was uncalled for, it was something out of charecter. "Of course you're sure." He admitted. "I'll step outside then." He gestured to the door.

Nate stopped himself from rolling his eyes. The man was quite stupid. What other way was there for him to leave the room without going through the door. "Could you send Ridner in for a moment. I wish to speak to her quickly."

The man nodded and departed he was gone for at least a few minutes before she wandered in aimlessly like a lamb to slaughter. Her head held high and curls of blonde hair hanging down just to her shoulders. Usually she straightened it and she felt almost naked wearing no makeup. She had decided not to today for some reason and was regretting it already. No one would have known that a teenage boy who looked barely old enough to stay home alone would ever be so intimidating. She smiled slightly and nodded. Her top was low cut, and she had brought herself a new bra since meeting with Mello. It was dark with red roses all over it, and although she figured only one or maybe two lucky men would ever see it it made her feel special. It did no good now though, for Near wanted to speak to her three days earlier than they had planned. She was only in the building reviewing some small piece of work. She hadn't finished her report for him and as he sat in front of her she stood awkwardly, like a child in front of an angry headmaster. But even anger would be better with Near, instead he simply sat emotionless. A robot more or less.

"You wanted to see me Sir?" She asked her voice shook slightly. She should be more confident around him, her cool cold expression was gone and she had a dreadful desire to run forward and hug him. He looked so sad as he sat there, even though his face was blank. Why did was it that each added detail to this Kira case was sad, and each tangled web that connected to the house called Wammy's made it worse? As far as she could understand it sounded like a factory to create fake Ls. But apparently that's what it was.

"Please Ridner refrain from calling me sir." Near commented staring at her legs, not even bothering to look up.

"You do realise that when you talk to someone it's accustomed that you look at them." Ridner felt almost like a rebel who answered a teacher back, it was obviously not so.

"Contraire Ridner I am looking at you." Near looked up, his eyes met hers, glazed over as if he were thinking about a better place somewhere far far away. Perhaps he was, Halle thought, perhaps he was. "Please try to keep your mouth closed, you look better that way."

Halle wasn't sure whether this was a compliment, an insult or something else. She nodded in her dignified way. "Of course."

"Please relax. I am not asking for your report on Mello's activities in." He paused looking up at her from his position on the floor, thumb in mouth. Halle wondered if the boy spent so much time on the floor, why his feet and clothing where never dirty. At first one of the men had suggested that she handle the boy's washing, she had replied using her fingers. But now she kept her face calm and seriously responsible. "I want to know if you have had a phone number traced from them. He made contact with you a few days ago. Did he not?"

"He did." She admitted. "However I have not been able to find a contact number for him."

"I sense there is a but? I hope there is." He informed her. He felt like a teacher asking for an excuse from a pupil for not completing an assignment.

"There is." She agreed hurriedly, she fiddled with her hands. "I-I found his companions contact number."

Near hesitated. "Companion?" He attempted to raise an eyebrow and decided he probably failed.

"A man who went by the name Matt?"

Near hid any shock that crossed his face. Why was Matt still with Mello? He had never expected them to stay together that long. However if what he suspected was right, Mello did have someone spying on Misa Amane. And that person was more likely to be Matt than Mello. Still.."And that number would be?" He prompted.

She hesitate and flicker a phone out of her jacket pocket. It was dark and probably an expensive make. But it also had software the FBI could only dream of on it. The only person who could possible do any better was probably the red head who had stolen Mello from Near. "O, Seven, Seven, triple o, nine double o, nine, seven, six." Near said it to himself in his head. _077000900976._ He'd remember it fine. "Would you like me to write it down for you?" She asked to her mistake.

"That won't be necessary Ridner." He informed her. "I memorised it almost instantly. I would ask though, how you came to obtain it?"

She blushed slightly. "We were unable to trace any numbers. But Matt asked to use my bathroom at one point, as I showed him the way I noticed he left his phone on the table. So on the way out as I handed it to him I texted myself from his mobile quickly before deleting the history." She blushed worse. "It was nothing to do with intelligence."

"Oh the opposite!" Near corrected her calmly and serenly. "It was quite ingenius. So simple, yet incredibly effective. That was good thinking Ridner." Halle accepted that this was the most praise she would ever get from Near. So she thanked him justly. "You may go." Near gestured to the door for her, because she did seem the type who needed to be told to walk out of the door. Then again she was more intelligent than some. "I expect you to be here at ten am tomorrow morning, and please don't be late again, and try not to be early for our meeting either, being early is almost as bad as tardyness."

This was obvious dismisall so she departed quickly bowing her head slightly on the way out. Quite relieved to be leaving the presence of the eerie child. His horrible all seeing eyes that were so cold they chilled your soul, and the pale skin made of ice. She sometimes wondered when watching his reactions to murder and such if his heart too was cold. Perhaps there was some lee way given seeing as he had had such a disturbed childhood.

He keyed in the number into the computer system, and waited as the phone rang. It rang three times, he decided to try and trace it even if it was probably going to be impossible. Finally a male voice answered. "Yo."

Near rolled his eyes. "Is that Matt?" He asked quietly.

"Near? What the fuck do you want freak?" Came a shouted response. "I can't believe I'm driving and talking to the likes of you." He spat.

"Could you pass the phone to Mello please?" Near asked.

"Why the fuck would he want to talk to you?" Matt countered. Near could imagine him his bush of red hair and his shoulder holding the phone in place as he drove.

"Well the first that you're driving and talking to me, and the second I think he'll want to talk to me." Near pointed out.

"Look can't you just leave him alone on this day of all days?" Matt asked.

Near wished he could see them, because he was simply staring at a screen listening to a voice coming out from a speaker. "Could you pull over and give the phone to Mello? I wish to speak to him."

"No." Matt sounded as if he were sulking. "I'm not stopping driving for you. I'll put you on speaker."

"Matt, please?" Near had never begged anyone for anything in his entire life. Not that that had been a long life, but still.

It was almost as if Matt could sense what was in Near's voice, the begging question. Because Near was asking permission to talk to Mello, he wanted Matt's permission. "Five minutes." Matt answered sourly. "You have that long. I'm coming in to a service station now. I need something to eat and some cigarettes anyway."

"Those things will kill you." Near warned.

"Nah, Kira will."

Finally Mello's voice appeared on the line. "What do you want?" He demanded.

"Please be calm Mihael." Near said.

"Don't call me that!" Mello snapped. "I don't fucking want to talk to you. So just leave me alone." He exploded.

"Then why don't you hang up?" Near raised an eyebrow although Mello could not see him. "If you truly don't wish to talk to me."

"Matt said you sounded upset." He paused spitting on the gravely ground as he leaned against the car. "Not that you've ever been capable of showing emotion."

This struck Near but he did not let it sink into his mind. It only hit the outer layer. "I wanted to say Happy Birthday." He finally choked out. "I wanted to wish you another year's joy, not that that is likely. But you of all people deserve a good life. I am very sorry that you have not had one."

"That's kind of you." Mello's voice sounded sucpicious, and harsh.

"We're on the same side Mello." Near tried. "We are one and the same. We are L."

"No we're not!" Mello countered. "That's never been it. You don't get that do you?" He asked. "It's not about being L, it's about beating you. We're not L. What we're doing, we were never L's successors." He explained. "We were never destined to become his successor, we became his clones. Or that's what Watari wanted. He wanted another version of the origional, and who could blame him? A was an Alternative. B was a Backup. C a copy. D a duplicate. We're just like them. We're not succesors."

"Why do you bring this up?" Near asked pushing a strand of almost silver hair out of his grey eyes. "To become L's successor was to lose oneself. Was that not what you wanted?"

"Do you think that's what A thought? His mind was no longer his own? How did that feel? How does it feel Near? To have no name, to be only a letter. Because that's what you and your precious toys are. A replication of the great detective L. You're not him Near, so quit trying to be. What would you be outside of Wammy's stupid institution?"

"Mihael please calm yourself.." Near tried.

"Just shut up Near. And don't call me that. Don't you get it? I hate you. What the hell do you want? Considering you're the one phoning me I assume you'd be the one to speak."

Near paused his paper white face creasing. "You do realise what happens when people continue to assume don't you?"

Mello wanted to punch the smirk he imagined off the albino like creatures face. "I haven't got all day. Just tell me what you want."

"I told you. I called you to wish you a Happy Birthday. And.."

"And what?" Mello demanded. "If you want me to work with you you can forget it."

"And I hope that you're ok."

"Why the fuck do you care?" Mello asked. "You just don't get it do you? I hate you. Ever since we started competing, ever since A died, ever since B ran away, ever since Matt arrived, ever since I left. I've always hated you. And any time you thought different you were wrong."

"We were friends." Near stated. He found a wobble in his voice he'd never heard before.

"We've never been friends you freak. You have no emotions, you don't care if someone dies. If I killed myself today you wouldn't even care. If I died you wouldn't care but if you died like hell I would care. Near you used to be my friend but you lost that respect a long time ago."

"You just contradicted yourself." Near started but Mello's voice cut across him.

"Before at Wammy's I used to know a boy called Nate River. He had feelings and he had thoughts and he had dreams. He wanted to become a detective remember? He wanted to help people. He was kind and he cared about what people thought. But then he left and instead a freak called Near came in his place. Near plays with people's feelings, Near uses people as toys, Near doesn't care about anyone."

"I used to know a boy called Mihael Keehl."

"Stop using that name!" Mello shouted over the crackling phone line. Near wished there was a better signal. "Do you want to know what I wish? I wish you'd crawl off and die in some ditch like your mother probably did. The world's better off without scum like you."

The line went dead. And for the first time in a long while, Nate River became Nate River once more. He cried.

Mello slammed the car door shut and locked it before stalking angrily over to where Matt sat eating a cheeseburger. He shrugged of his faux feather coat and summouned a waitress who looked incredibly happy to help him. He ordered the same as Matt and then he slumped in the chair. Matt sent a glance at Mello, but seemed happy to sit in silence. Finally Mello sighed melodramaticaly and slumped.

"He wanted to wish me a happy birthday." He growled.

"Seriously?" Matt didn't seem bothered. He raised an eyebrow. "What did you tell him? You were a long time."

"What do you think I said? I told him to fuck off and die."

"That was a bit much, don't you think? Give the kid a rest, he was wishing you a happy birthday."

"He fuckind deserved it."

Matt held his hands up in surrender, and let a playful smile turn up the corner of his lips. "Don't get that thong in a twist."

Mello rolled his eyes unamused. A moment of silence passed between them, as he let his eyes wander over Matt's body. "You look like you're sweating." He frowned in a slightly wistful tone.

Matt chuckled before carrying on to eat. Finally Mello's food arrived and he started to eat hungrily more to pass the silence than anything. Matt moved his chair to where Mello sat opposite him and wrapped his arms around the man, using one hand to smooth down his hair.

Mello grunted and struggled slightly half heartedly against the grip. "Get off, I'm eating! Can't you tell I'm pissed off?"

"Hrm, looking for later in the car then?" Matt raised an eyebrow. "You're on. I'll make this a birthday to remember."

The tone of the hacker's voice sent a pleasurable shiver down Mello's spine. He looked forward to later, towards the pain, but even more towards the passionate kisses that he could savour for later. But as he took a sip of his cool refreshing drink that soothed his sore throat he felt a pair of lips plant themselves on his own. Hot skin pressed together and tongues collided, Matt nibbled slightly on Mello's upper lip, before withdrawing from the blonde's face.

"Later." He promised in a murmur. He put his head on Mello's thin shoulder. "I promise." He winked as the seductive words left his mouth.


	41. Chapter 41

**AN: Sorry I have been so long! But I feel like writing a little bit of Near for a moment. Mello can be such a jerk! What he said was out of order, and here's Near's thoughts. I hope you enjoy this chapter very very much, and review please!**

Sunlight streamed elegantly through the windows of the room, in the background a computer beeped. It was still snowing, but none of it was sticking, it simply made the ground slippy with grey sludge everywhere. The small pale teenager sat with one knee drawn to his chest, the other folded behind him, he wore white pajamas, and in all honesty really did look as if he had just awoken. He was slowly twirling a lock of whiter than snow hair around his finger. His locks were much purer than snow, and he always hated it when people described their colour in comparison to the stuff. He stared at the blank puzzle that sat in front of him, and was slowly but delicately putting it together using the hand that was free. It was as if his heart wasn't in it, perhaps thought Near, he didn't have a heart any more.

Behind him sat a Christmas tree, but Near still thought it was early for the celebration. Still Wammy's had always had a Christmas tree put up on Mello's birthday. It was a kind of ritual seeing as his Birthday was the only one so soon before Christmas. Mello was always the first to put a piece of decoration on the tree, and then it was a free for all. Of course by the time he was thirteen he stopped bothering, and by the time he was almost fifteen he didn't even bother to watch. There was a soft gentle knock on the door, Near wanted to simply stay silent but he scolded himself, it would be rude not to invite whoever it was to enter.

"Come in," He called. The door swung open, and Halle aproached.

"Aren't you working?" She smiled.

Near raised an eyebrow, he didn't really want to direct his attention towards her. Still, he did so reluctantly. "Why are you still here?" He asked finally.

She ran delicate fingers through her hair. "I wanted to finish my report." She explained.

"But why are you here?" He asked again. He wished that the woman would get to the point.

"I heard you were back here alone." She explained again. "I wanted to know if you were ok."

"Why didn't you say that? It would have saved time." Near pointed out.

"Well are you?" She asked standing in the doorway.

"Am I what?" He asked.

Halle frowned, he was avoiding the question. It was quite obvious to her at least. "Are you ok?"

"Yes of course I am." Near responded, his eyes were still dull, thankfully they were not red. He was not cursed with this like other people, therefore no one could tell if he had been crying. Unless they had seen him.

"Are you sure?" She sounded genuinely concerned, and had adopted a gentle tone.

"If you can't beat the puzzle, and win the game, then you're just a loser." He looked up at her from the floor. "Is that all?"

"Goodbye Near." The blonde spoke softly, as she shut the door with a click.

Near placed another piece of the puzzle into place, it coninsided with the click of the door. He stared at the oak floor, it was cold, not that he felt it. He didn't feel much. He had never cried for his parents. He had been young at the time, his mother and father weren't people in his memory, just photographs. He couldn't remember being kissed by his mother, or being hugged by his father, but apparently it had happened. Near knew what grief was, he simply wasn't sure he how he was meant to feel it. He had lived in various children's homes up until the age of seven, and then he had been spotted by Watari for his high IQ, after that he had been moved to Wammy's house and recognised as a succesor for L. He was happy there, at least he thought he might have been.

Near remembered when he first met Mello. The blonde had arrived about about a year after he did. Mello had been cagey at first, and practically a mute, not talking to anyone, refusing to even recognise some people's existense. But slowly, after a period of eight months he had started to talk. And Near had managed to put together a brief summary of his childhood up until the age of nine and onwards. When Mello had first arrived he had been scared, deffensive, almost like a cornered wild animal. His eyes were red from the thousands of tears he had cried, but he also looked content. Then slowly over those eight months he had began to relax, as if he understood that he wasn't going to be hurt at Wammy's, and that he wasn't going to have to run away from it. For Mello had continued to try to be kicked out, but after Near had explained that Wammy's did not _kick _people out he gave up.

He clicked another piece of the puzzle into place. There was a picture starting to form. Mello never stopped seeming angry and frustrated. Not at anyone in particular, just at the world. In the months he had known Mello only once had he cried in front of the boy. But Mello had cried many times, because when they were younger they did not have rooms, they slept in dormitories. Mello had the bunk above Near's, and he could remember when he had been reading about crime rates, or comunism, or many of the other things he had read about, he would hear Mello's murmurs and sobs from nightmares. He was always too focused to be distracted, therefore he never said anything to his companion. But he had always thought that Mello was probably ashamed of himself. He was always ashamed of himself. But by the time he was eleven and had moved into a room he shared only with Matt, he had stopped crying. Instead he simply tossed and turned as he slept.

Near never understood why Mello was sad, because his own parents had abandoned him. It was not as if he had enough memories to make it painful. Near could understand why it was rumoured that Linda cried each year on the anniversary of her mother's death. Because Linda's mother had died when she herself was eight. It made sense. But Near never had any memories to hold onto, and neither did Mello. Or so Near thought. Perhaps he wasn't crying or having nightmares about his parents. Perhaps it was something else. Near didn't cry for L. Because L's death was never possible to be avoided. That was the whole point of him and Mello. It was his only point- to surpass L. He had known that L's death would mean that either he, Mello or possible Matt would be chose to take his place. However he had not cried for the man's passing. Why should he? It had been coming for a long time. Before L was out of his twenties, there was already worry that he might die untimely. It was regretable, as was A's death, as was B's, but that was all. They could all be replaced by another playing piece. A and B were pawns to be used and thrown away, they were worthless as were he and Mello. But when the queen died, the pawn took his place. When L died, Near took his place. And admitedly after Near died, there would be another to take his place.

Another piece of the puzzle clicked into place. Near wondered if his reaction to the news of L's death had worsened the effect for Mello. L would always be Mello's idol, someone and something he wanted to be. L was dead, and it hadn't been decided on who should take his place. By now Mello hated him, and hated him worse every day. Of course Near understood this to some extent, and now he understood why Mello was so reluctant to work under him, let alone work with him. But he wondered also if Mello had seen that they were finally equal. Because L had chosen both and neither, because L had left them both his title. Or perhaps out of pride Mello had recognised the fact that both of them could not be L. L came only once in the alphabet after all. Which angered Mello, Near reasoned. And now because of that he had cut of his nose to spite his face, which was Near admitted, typical of Mello. If it had meant not letting him win, Mello would do it. Even if it meant them both losing.

On the night his hero died, Near didn't think Mello cried. By this point in life Mello barely spoke a word to Near, and if he did it was never in kindness. They were always spiteful insults that melted from his tongue and froze in Near's mind. But as far as Near could tell, because he did see everything- even if no one else did, he knew that Mello had not cried for quite a long time. Near didn't seem to be listening, Near didn't seem involved with the world. But what Near was good at was observing. He saw the way Matt looked at Mello, he saw the way Mello felt about Matt, probably before they even knew it themselves. But he didn't understand it, because it was one thing to observe, another to understand.

Another piece of the puzzle clicked into it's rightful place. It's tone was sharp, and the clogs that inhabited Near's crowded mind moved faster. He wanted the puzzle's solving to conclude something, anything. By the time they learnt of L's death, Near knew Mello had been unhappy for a long time. Perhaps he had never truly been happy. But he knew that Mello was deeply unhappy. No one else saw this, but Near did. There were dark things on Mello's mind, and for this Near gave Mello lee way. Near knew Mello well, but that night he feared the boys intentions. Afterwards he figured he would find out if Mello was dead soon enough, news travelled fast. Wammy's news and rumours even faster. The morning after they were informed of L's untimely death Near didn't need to be told to know that Mello had ran away. Mello was done being humiliated by him, Mello was done walking in Near's shadow. Near had feared for his intentions, and still did.

Mello had taken his own things without bothering to say goodbye to anyone. He had left Wammy's forever. And still Near hadn't cried. Because no amount of tears would ever bring the dead back to life. If they had Near would never stop crying. But people died all the time. Near himself would die eventually. Kira would die also, just as L had. The world would find ways to go back to it's old self, becoming as evil and corrupted as if had been to start with. Perhaps it would even be worse. There was one person that Near wished would never die, and that was Mello. But he refused to let that thought depress him. He expected his friend's death, because in a case as difficult as the Kira case things like this happened. He just did not want to think about it. Mello would eventually die, but as he placed another piece of the puzzle into place he realised that as long as Mello was happy, he wouldn't mind if he died.

Near looked down at the unfinished puzzle, and slammed his fist into it. Mello was a puzzle he would never solve. He wanted to say it wasn't fair, but it was very much so. He wanted to shout and to scream and to act like a toddler throwing a tantrum, but he refused to let himself stoop that low. He wanted to slam doors, to yell and to blame someone else. But there was no one else to blame.

He cared for Mello, and feared for him, but he decided he wasn't going to cry. If he cried he wouldn't stop. And so through his lips he let a small laugh escape. It wasn't real, it never would be, but it was good enough for him. He would never solve the puzzle of Mello, and if you couldn't solve the puzzle then you were a loser. He retrived the broken mask of emotions in his mind, letting it slip over himself again so that his true thoughts were hidden from the world. He was a loser, the thought came to him once more. He had never thought of himself as not winning before. It was odd. He hoped Mello was happy. He had finally won.


	42. Chapter 42

**AN: Sorry I have been so long! But no one reviewed last chapter and that made me cry! Nah it didn't, it just didn't encourage me..If you do read this fanfiction and have the time to review please do! I'll stop nagging, and I'll update more and faster. So anywhoo...**

Mello felt bad, and he didn't want to feel bad. Especially not on his birthday. He sat, in the run down cafe as an awkward silence spread between himself and the redhead opposit him. He stared across at him, and then back at his drink. This was the second cafe they'd stopped in, and his second meal. After the morning they had gone to a Church. This hadn't quite been Matt's idea of what you should do on a birthday, but Mello had found it important. And now, it seemed darker. And it wasn't just the fact it was later in the day. Because Mello felt bad. He was always so tough, so cruel, so angry, even if truly he wasn't. Now he just seemed to be depressed. Matt stared at him through the orange tinted goggles, and felt uneasy.

Mello seemed to be staring at the drink on the table, as if it was poison. Matt let out a stressed sigh and took another puff of the cigarette. He figured if anyone didn't like him smoking they could come and tell him. He didn't see any no smoking signs around. But now it was running low, he'd finished his meal already. But Mello hadn't. Matt stopped looking out of the window and turned his full attention to Mello. His eyes stared into Mello's, but the gaze wasn't returned. Matt would have given anything to see the world through those icy blue irisis, but sadly he couldn't. After a few more moments he decided he had to be the first to speak.

"Mells..? What's up?"

Mello appeared to be in some kind of trance, or perhaps just a deep sleep. He snapped his head up like a snake awaking, and Matt would have sworn there had been an unfallen uncried tear in his eye. But it was quickly turend to a glare. Matt narrowed his own eyes. "Nothing." Mello replied, biting into the sandwich. He started to eat faster, lookin down at the floor as he did. Unable to look Matt in the eye. His elbows were on the table as he rested his head in his hands eating. Rosary dangled from his neck, as he tried to eat quickly.

Matt leaned back in his own chair and sighed sadly. "You've never been good at lying." He murmured. "Especially to me Mihael Keehl." He would find out what was eating at Mello, he always did. When something upset Mello when they were younger, it upset Matt twice as much. Nothing had changed. He leaned forward again. "So what's up?" He asked.

"'S not important." Mello answered, a voice that was hard and quite cold. There was a certain aquired bitterness in the voice, that seemed to lash through Matt's mind. Matt knew Mello was lying, Mello knew that Matt knew. Matt finished the cigarette snuffing it out in the ash tray. If the cafe put ash trays out surely they expected smokers, he figured. He watched as Mello ate, then put his hands onto Mello's face. Mello tried to turn away, but Matt's grip stopped him from doing so.

"Look at me." Matt murmured silkily. His hair flowed over his scalp, not brushed like Mello's yet it always looked good.

Mello tried to look at the floor, but Matt's gloved hand pulled his face up again. "Matt."

"Mells, look at me." Matt sighed.

Mello frowned. "What do you want?" He asked. Perhaps he had asked slightly louder than he intended to. Because suddenly the very few eyes in the cafe were staring at them. There weren't many people there, due to it being quite late. There was only one woman other than the waitresses and she knew that she was simply considered something to look at. Matt was the only male other than waiters not in leather.

"Please Mello..what's up?" His voice was soothing, and he brushed one thumb across Mello's cheek. He wince as he felt the scarred skin against his thumb. He knew Mello hated the way he looked now, but he shuddered at that feeling. It scared him, how much the blonde could hate. Hate other people, hate Near, hate himself. Matt didn't know what he'd do if Mello hated him.

"It's..it's..nothing.."

Matt cupped Mello's face in his hands, bringing his nose close to his partner's. He nuzzled his face. "Mells, please?"

"This is going to be my last Birthday." Mello finally said. "I'm not living another year. You know that. I know that."

"No we don't." Matt contradicted him, shaking his own head. "We don't know that Mello."

"It's my last Birthday. Because you're going to die next year."

"We don't know that." Matt protested. "We can't be sure."

"Yes we can!" Mello almost shouted but managed to keep his voice down. "Mattie Beyond Birthday may have been a lot of things, but he was never a liar. He knew that A was going to die, and he knew that you were going to die. He was right with A."

"That doesn't mean it's your last Birthday."

"Yes it does. I don't care when I'm going to die, but I'm not living without you."

Matt sighed, shaking his head. "I don't believe B. How could he know?"

"Because he had the eyes Mattie. He had the eyes."

"So? He knew when A was going to die. He knew the date I will die. But you're meant to live long after that. How did you work out this was your last Birthday?"

"Because of the Death Note." Mello gave his reason, and waited for a response. It didn't come, no harsh spoken words, no intake of breath. "The one thing that changes events, the one thing that the eyes effect. The Death Note changes things."

"You think-?"

"I know." Mello cut across him. "So you still want to know what's up? Because I know. And I'm so afraid."

Matt stared at him with somber eyes. "Dying can't hurt that much." He whispered more to himself than anyone else. "Heck, even if it does. We're not going to be alive to appriciate it."

Mello laughed slightly. "Only you would say that." He sniffed. "But that's not what I'm afraid of." He sighed. "I'm afraid that I won't make it up to everyone in time."

"What do you mean?" Matt asked, he didn't cry or breath heavily. He was past crying, or so he thought.

"I mean Near, and Sara, and Linda. Near..I..he..what happens if I don't apologise to him?" Mello asked.

Matt shrugged. "You can always call him."

"And Sara?" Mello asked.  
>"What about her?"<p>

"I never knew." He promised. "I never knew how she felt. How much it hurt her every day to be around me, to be around us. She wanted what you had. She loved what you loved. And neither of us bothered much with her once we left Wammy's."

"She knows you care for her." Matt managed. His heart stung for Sara at that moment, but he gritted his teeth.

"I just wish everything didn't come to this. I honestly do." Mello's shoulders sagged. "And I'm going to hell. Who am I kidding? I'm going to hell. All the things I've done, all the evil sinful things I've done. I'm scared of that Mattie. I'm scared of going to hell. Of burning."

"You're not going to burn." Matt promised, he still held Mello's head in his hands. "I won't let you."

"Mattie there's nothing you can do."

Matt moved around the table, wrapping his arms around Mello as he stood. His strong arms wrapped around Mello's middle, his head rested on Mello's shoulder as he walked behind the blonde. As they walked out of the door, letting the bell ring behind them, Mello turned slightly to look at Matt. The redhead had taken of his goggles, showing the murky green eyes they hid. Like water, incredibly deep water, water that hid monsters. Mello stared at them, as they walked to the car together in the dark. He wrapped his own arms around Matt. Matt dragged his arms away for a second and opened the car door pushing Mello onto the backseat. He leaned in on top, clambering into the veichle as he closed the door behind him. A silent tear crept down Mello's face. "Sorry.." He murmured.

Matt shook his head as he slid his hand down Mello's back, and down the back of his leathers. "Try not to be." He murmured huskily. He continued to hug Mello tightly to him. He shrugged Mello's top off, throwing it casually over the front seat.

"What if someone sees?" Mello asked putting a finger to Matt's lips to push him away.

"You never cared before did you?" Matt asked as he kissed Mello's scarred chest, tracing his lips along the majestic body. He drew in a shaky breath as he kissed Mello on the lips, hugging himself to the muscular chest. He pressed himself against Mello's lips, staring into the eyes that had become grey in the darkness. "Happy Birthday Mihael." He murmured as they continued to kiss. He wasn't in a hurry to get it over with tonight, he wanted to prolong it so that it would last forever. Or at least until someone tapped on the window and told them to move. He was happy to move slowly, to start by kissing passionately and to move on to more. Because kissing Mello was something that couldn't be compared. "Happy Birthday Mihael Jeevas."


	43. Chapter 43

**AN: Oh my goodness! I have now gone over one hundred reviews! Oh my Kira as Misa would say. I'm so pleased, thank you all very much for reviewing. Let's see if we can make it two hundred? I know a lot of people get thousands of reviews, and sadly I'm not one of those people. But I'm still so pleased. So thank you very much to my loyal readers, and my reviewers. And even if you haven't reviewed yet, it's not too late. So please do. I love all reviews and I do read all of them! Anyway I'll shut up now and let you enjoy the story..**

"Mello, wake up." Matt called, he was driving once again. He seemed always to be driving these days. Mello was sleeping in the passanger seat. It was Saturday the Eighteenth of December, and they still hadn't found who they were looking for. Apparently they were looking for someone. He shot a glance at Mello, who's head was lolling slightly to the left. "Mells," He called again. "Wakey wakey."

Mello pushed himself up, slightly groggily. "What time is it?" He asked. Matt shrugged. "I was thinking of stopping somewhere soon. We need somewhere to set all this stuff up. Seriously, it won't work if we keep driving. I need time to set things up, to do things!"

"You don't have time." Mello informed him.

"Oh come on Mells. We have all the time in the world! It's like, December right? And according to BB and his little prophocies we have, I mean I have, until like the end of January. That's almost a whole month."

"That's not a lot of time." Mello told him, the words like an earthquake shaking. They were almost a threat.

"Then let's make the most of it." Matt told him. "Mells, I don't believe BB."

"I do."

"Whatever." Matt told him. "But I need time to set things up properly. Somewhere we can live. I don't want to live in a car for the rest of my life!"

"Which isn't long." Mello told him. "And won't be if you don't keep your eyes on the road!" His restless fingers twitched on his gun. He had a feeling that he would need to use it later. "Have you been watching Amane?" He asked.

"Yes and she is hot." He sighed. "Look I can't watch her and drive ok? So when we swap I'll watch her again. And yes I've been watching her when you've been doing whatever you've been doing!"

"I've been working." Mello informed him. "Take a left here."

"Are you sure?" Matt asked.

"No."

"It's too late anyway. I'll have to turn." Matt informed him.

"I was being sarcastic. Of course I'm sure." Mello grinned, sometimes with Matt's driving he wanted to dig his nails into the seat to feel slightly safer. "Besides, I've been working. You get to watch a super model."

"Who is of course the second Kira."

"Right." Mello nodded. "But don't lie and say you don't enjoy it."

Matt took a drag of the cigarette. He always smoked and drived. Mello didn't know how safe it was. He breathed smoke in Mello's face, and he pretended to cough. "I have to watch that Mogi guy too. How come you don't have to?"

"I have important things to do." He paused. "They do anything yet?" He asked finally.

"Nah, I don't see why I bother." He paused. "Though some of her outfits are-" He didn't finish the sentence.

"Would you like me to dress like that for you?" Mello asked. "Would you like me to-" He whispered into Matt's ear. Matt almost crashed the car.

"If you're going to do that I'll have to stop driving." He paused. "Wouldn't want our lives to end prematurely."

Mello winked. "Later Mattie. Then again, I would like you to try while you drive."

"Fuck no." Matt told him. Mello dragged a delicate fingernail along Matt's chin.

"Fine." Mello said. "Besides, you can pull over here. I have some buisness to deal with."

"We're outside a hotel." Matt told him. It was quite an expensive looking one too. "And it looks busy."

"Exactly." Mello told him. "Less likely to be recognised by anyone in a big crowd. Besides, like you said, we need to stay somewhere for a while. For you to do your computer geeky stuff."

"Right." Matt didn't bother correcting him on his terminology. "Where are you going?" He asked.  
>"Better if you don't know." He leaned over giving Matt a peck on the lips. "I'll walk. There's a car park round the back."<p>

"Be good." Matt said finally as Mello was about to close the car door. He rethought his words. "Just don't get caught." He told his lover.

"Never have been." Mello told him. He shut the door with more care than usual, Matt loved the car too much. Neither wanted to give it back. He put his hands in his jacket pockets, it was freezing. There was ice over the pavement, and he almost slipped. He breathed out and his breath stained like smoke against the air. What an idiot he would have looked had he fallen over. His boots were heavy though, and had quite a good grip. They were knee highs and chunky. He could run in them though, something he had perfected. He didn't need a map to find where he was heading, nor did he need directions. His feet took him the way that he had never walked before, until he came to the building. It was run down, with boards over the windows, and there was a small flight of steps that led up to a locked door. Mello was certain it was locked. He spotted a camera. But again he didn't honestly care. He walked up the steps, and knocked loudly on the door. The best way of surprise, tell them you're already there.

Matt was the best shot, and Mello knew this. He always carried a gun, on his hip, concealed beneath his striped vest. He had another in the collar. These weapons were identical to those that Mello carried. But Mello was a fighter. By nature he was a fighter, and by expertise. He was agile, he could dodge and roll like a dancer. But Matt just didn't need to. Matt never needed to be alert, because his marksmanship was perfect. Now Mello thanked his speed, because just as a blade was pressed against his throat he spun around, knocking the man down. Now he was the one with a gun to the guys head. He knew that Matt could probably have had the man's brain matter splattered across the wall behind him before his body dropped. But Mello didn't think this was called for, not today. The man really hadn't done much wrong.

"No way to treat your guest now is it?" Mello hissed. He felt the man weaken slightly at the knees. They always did. He moved the gun slightly, adjusting it so that it pressed against the mans throat. He put a finger on the trigger. "Now you're not going to do that again are you?" He asked.

The man gulped, the gun pressed further into his throat. "Uhh..." He tried, he was afraid to speak. Mello could feel him shaking.

"I'll take that as a no. Nod if I'm correct. That's right, you're not going to try that again are you?" He asked. "Good lad. Now, I would like you, to turn on some lights. Do that for me? There we go." He loosened the hold slightly so the man could breathe easier, and walked with him over to a light switch. When clicked on it flooded the room brightly.

The room really wasn't that impressive. It was in fact non impressive. There was what looked like a counter, an old shop perhaps, and a lot of dust. It was obvious that no one was using that room, perhaps they were pretending to be abandoned. Mello made a mental note to drop them a note about using electricity and how it wouldn't be used if the place was abandoned. "Good lad." He said again. "Now, could you possibly show me where everyone else is?" He nodded before an answer. "That's good." He told him.

They headed down a flight of stairs, through a dingy concrete corridor until they reached a small room. Mello eyed it as they entered, noting the two sofas and computer screens that littered across it. He noticed the monitors that mimicked Matt's, the numbers flashing across the screens, and he also eyed the people in the room. There were four, he cursed himself. There had to be more than four. It wasn't a good number to have four. He pushed the man away from him, letting him stumble away. He heard a collective gasp, as four guns were drawn against him. But now there was five in the room, the man he had just released had pulled his gun out, rather quickly Mello had to admit. Perhaps he had underestimated the man, he had the surprise factor at the start. He had to admit it.

"Drop your gun." The blonde, Mello knew to be seventeen told him. He sat on one of the sofas, and appeared to be relaxing. Around him, the men had drawn their weapons. They were half standing all of them.

"I don't think so." Mello told him, his own gun was pointed at Liam's head.

"They won't hesitate to shoot."

"But you will." Mello smirked. "Do you want to see who's got the faster hand? Because I reckon I could put a bullet through your head before any of these put one through mine." He wasn't too sure actually, one on one he was pretty sure he'd beat Liam, but there were four other guns trained on him. He reckoned he could just pull the trigger, but he believed what Liam said about the hesitation.

"I wouldn't place a bet." Liam informed him. "But even if a bullets in my head, there'll be one in yours."

Mello shrugged. "Couldn't care less." He lied. "However, what would these guys do without you?" He asked. He kept his eyes on them, for any sudden movement. But he doubted they'd try anything. Not without Liam's orders.

Liam wore dark blue jeans and a t-shirt. He had changed since Mello had last seen him. His face was sharper, his body was toned. He had a horrible cocky look about him that Mello disliked. "What if I asked them to shoot now?"

"Then they would." He paused. "But I don't think you'd do that?"

"Why not?" Liam asked.

"Because," Mello lowered his voice. "Curiosity kills you Liam."

"Mell?" Liam stood up as Mello lowered his gun slightly, embracing him in a hug. Liam was getting tall Mello realised, he had to have grown at least two feet since they'd last met. "What brings you here?" He asked sitting down. "Shit! What happened to your face?" He asked as Mello pulled his hood down.

"What do you think?" Mello asked. Liam really hadn't grown up at all. "Liam, privacy would be much appriciated?"

"Oh. Right!" Liam grinned now, he took another drag of the cancer stick in his hand that he held daintily between his index and middle fingers. Great Mello thought, another smoker. He grinned a crooked smile. "Right Mello, whatever you say." He seemed to know he was in the presence of a proffessional. He made a gesture to the men, and gave them some order quietly that Mello didn't catch. Then he gestured for Mello to follow him, Mello did, at his own risk, into a room that was as cold as a meat refrigerator. It reminded Mello of an unfortunate incident many years ago. "Sorry it's cold man, it has to be for some of the equiptment. Matt would understand. Hey is Mattie with you?" Liam looked around as if Mello was hiding Matt under his jacket.

"Calm down." Mello told him. He was acting like a large puppy dog.

"What are you here for Mello? Need a favour? You need cash? What do you need?" Liam asked. Yes he was sounding more like a dog. Mello sighed.  
>"What are you here for Li?"<p>

"You know." He stuck his hands into his pockets. Then shrugged.

"No I don't. Why aren't you in England?"

"If I was in Englad I wouldn't be much help to you." He told Mello honestly. "How'd you know I was here?"

"I didn't. More of a hunch than anything." Mello sat down on an empty chair. Liam copied him.

"You're with the mafia?" Liam asked.

"Heard of Broken Angel?" Mello asked him.

Liam nodded slowly. "He's in charge." He told Mello. "You want to talk to him or something?" He asked. "I'm running this group here, but I don't think I can do that for you. He doesn't talk to anyone! He just is. He is Broken Angel."

"I don't need you to talk to him for me." Mello told him.

"Mello." Liam suddenly leaned closer, he looked almost scared now. "Are you in trouble? If he wants you then he'll get you. You can't run from him."

"It's not that Liam."

Liam interupted him. "Then are you looking for him? Mello he doesn't make mistakes! He'd never get caught. Even thinking about catching him would get you shot. Near wouldn't stand a chance. L might have."

"Believe me, I know Broken Angel better than you do."

"You mean you're in with him?" Liam asked. "Oh shit I never thought! It's obvious. Broken Angel, is it you and Matt? Or just Matt? Is that why he isn't here? Has something happened?"

"Li!" Mello tried to get his attention. "Liam! Shut up."

"Right."

"I am Broken Angel."

"Wow." He breathed. "Double wow." He paused. "I know when you ran..I thought you might be working with Near.." He didn't finish the sentence but stared at the scarred face. As if it might have changed slightly since he last looked. Broken Angel, he murmured in his mind.

"Seriously?" Mello raised an eyebrow, he immediately felt guilty.

"I know..So you're in the Kira race then?" Liam asked.

A sudden thought crossed Mello's mind. "Exactly what are you doing here?" He demanded. "And how many of you are there?" He paused. "And how old are you again?"

"We're the geeks." Liam informed him. "You know, computers, hacking and such. We're there when you need us. What are we doing here? Oh just waiting. We're moving soon. This is just temp you know? Urm..it varies. People turn up. But they never knock on the front door."  
>"Hacking as in what Matt does?" Mello asked him.<br>"Is Matt with you?"

"He-"

"Of course he is." Liam told him. "Yes, like what Matt does."

"Then you should know that you need to defend your system better." Mello informed him. "We found you easily."

"Didn't you just ask for an adress being Broken Angel?"

Mello shook his head. "It's not how it works Li, not quite. Matt caught you easily enough, I finished it."

"Matt doesn't know you're here?" Liam asked.

Mello didn't answer the question. "How old are you Li?"

"Seventeen."

"Why the hell are you here?"

Liam shrugged. "After Matt and you left, well you became legends. I've always been good with computers, not Matt good, but good enough. I managed to get into the FBI files when I was fifteen. I could give you the personal details of nearly every child at Wammy's, found through the system. I learnt from Matt himself."

Mello sighed. "You've done a job for Near haven't you?" He asked.

Liam looked as if he were about to deny it, then he remembered who he was talking to. "I didn't know." He held his hands up in defence.

"It's fine Li." Mello said. "It was a favour for a friend of a friend right?"

"Something like that."

"I need the name of the man you were finding information about."

"Couldn't Matt find it?" There was some confidence in his voice, mixed with pride. As if he were proud to have outsmarted Matt.

"I'm sure he could. But he's busy."

"Whatever." Liam said. "Sure."

"The name Liam!" Mello snapped. "The name."

"Oh right." Liam paused. "Teru Mikami."

"Are you sure?" Mello asked.

Liam nodded. "That's right."

"Did Near tell you why he was investigating him?"

Liam shook his head. "It wasn't him that asked. Like you said a favour for a friend of a friend. They said Near had a hunch."

"Well I have something more than a hunch, and it's an answer." He paused as he heard a buzzing from a mobile phone in Liam's pocket. He apologised quickly. "Important message?" Mello asked.

Liam half nodded. "My girlfriend." He paused pulling a picture of her onto the screen. He held it up for Mello to see.

"She's pretty." Mello told him.

"She lives in this town. Part of the reason we're stopped here." He said the words like an apology.

"She ok?" Mello asked.

Liam shook his head. "She's ill." He told him.

"Liam, do you carry a gun?" Mello asked. When Liam shook his head Mello was a little surprised. "A blade isn't always good enough Li." He pulled a 38 from his boot where he hid it, and handed it to him. "You know how to shoot?"

"'Course." Liam said.

"Then use this." Mello told him. "And go home."

"I have work to do."

"Not tonight." Mello sighed. "Li you're not going to have a life if you stick with the mafia. It's dangerous. You shouldn't even be here. You don't need cash, you don't even need a job. You're made for life? Does she know that?" Liam shook his head. "Then tell her."

"I can't just do nothing Mell. Why are you here? You're rich. You don't need to be doing this."

"I'm different." Mello paused. "Well work from home then ok? Be a hacker in your spare time." He chewed on his lip slightly. "In fact, it's an order."

"What happens when you're gone though?" Liam finally asked the question he'd been meaning to ask. "Do I carry on doing this or what?"

"You go work for Near. I don't care how or why, but he needs computer geeks. Believe it or not, even he is at a loss sometimes."

"You sound almost as if you like him Mello."

Mello spat on the floor, and Liam wished he wouldn't. "Yeah right." He said. "Just go home. Get her a Christmas present." He hesitated. "Make a good life for yourself Li."

Before he was out of the door Liam called out. "Wait! What about Linda and Sara? Are they ok? Are they with you?"

Mello nodded and then shook his head. "They're fine Li. Linda's expecting a baby."

"Flipping heck." Li ran a hand through his hair. "A baby?" He repeated. "Wow she was a babe."

Mello laughed stiffly. "Right. Sara-"

"She's a shrink now? And Rhys! I heard they got married. That was last time I heard from them."

"Rhys is dead."

"Shit." Liam apologised. "I'm so sorry man. Seriously, I had no idea."

"Of course you didn't."

"I'm glad you and Matt are together."

"Pardon?"

"Together. Oh come off it Mello! It was obvious! He was flipping heart broken by the time he left. We all wanted you to get together. It was just a matter of when. I'm happy for you. Really."

"Thanks Li." Mello smiled. "That's nice of you." He paused scribbling down a telephone number. "This is my number, we're staying at the hotel on the edge of town for now. Don't know how long for mind."

"Thanks. Oh and Mello?"

"What?"

"Merry Christmas."


	44. Chapter 44

**AN: More lovey dovey stuff to come, but this chapter is my idea of Christmas. I think a New Year's party might be nice. I'm not sure. Please tell me what you think as you read, and what you like/dislike..**

"Christmas with my family wasn't really commercial." Mello told Matt. "We never had decorations everywhere or lights or a Christmas tree. We would put white candles throughout the house on Christmas Eve and then we would light them. They were to ward off the darkness, and to remember those who weren't with us. Then we'd pray." He paused for a moment, he lay next to Matt, and ran his hands over the redhead's chest. "After that my Dad used to read to me. Except when he died, that stopped. But when he was with us, we'd get up in the middle of the night to go to midnight Mass."

Matt listened to this like a story. "My Dad didn't really do much for Christmas. I don't think he liked the holiday. My Mum loved it though. She would put beautiful lights and things everywhere. She would find me a lovely gift, no matter how skint we where. She'd find me something small. We wouldn't have good food for a month, but I'd have a Christmas present."

Mello nodded. "I remember you telling me, when you turned up at the Orphanage." He put a hand over Matt's shoulder. "Remember your first Wammy's Christmas? Near used to think his Mother would come and fetch him on Christmas day."

"That was sad." Matt murmured.

"Yes." Mello agreed slowly. "Yes it was." He looked at his watch. "Oh look, it's Christmas Eve."

"Already?" He murmured again, stroking Mello's snuggled his head into Mello's chest, as he dozed off.

Matt was woken slowly when he felt a pair of soft lips against his own. Mello's hand stroked his cheek and he opened his eyes. Mello was kneeling over him, eyes sparkling with warmth. Matt reached up and brushed his hair behind his ear, and Mello smiled. He leant down, lips capturing Matt's once more. "Morning baby." He pulled back then kissed Matt again. Three times for luck."Go shower."

Matt made a face. "Only dirty people need to wash."

"Well you're very dirty." Mello winked. "Just do it. You need to be clean for Church." He rolled off the bed, dragging Matt up. "I'm going to get some food." He looked at the ceiling, there was a tiny piece of mistletoe selotaped there. "Oh look," He told Matt.

Giggling Matt blushed. "Well I don't know. Do you deserve another kiss?"

"I do."

"I think you should work for it.."

Mello's hands wondered, taking Matt slightly by surprise. Their lips embraced, and then Mello pulled away. "You love me really."

"What time is it?" Matt yawned. He looked through his bag, which admitedly contained more electronical equiptment than clothes.

"Four." Mello informed him.

"Seriously?"

"You did such good work last night, and the night before you needed a break. Besides, we're going out tonight."

"It's Christmas Eve." Matt pouted.

"Exactly."

"Where?"

"Church." Mello smirked.  
>"Seriously?"<p>

"You've asked me that twice." Mello said not looking up as Matt began to strip.

"Are you sure you don't want me to come to the store with you?"

"Hell no. Last time you came with me you caused an outrage!" Mello joked grinning.

Matt pouted again. He looked a little like a puppy. "That wasn't my fault." He winked. "You're the one who put your hand-"  
>"You liked it." Mello told him. "And in the shower. The bed. The kitchen table. Next it'll be the train."<p>

"In the car's already happened." Mello threw a pillow at Matt. "Alright! I'll get in the shower. Don't take long ok?" He asked.

Mello promised he wouldn't take long. He didn't. In fact he got around the shop incredibly quickly, and made it back to the hotel room just as Matt was coming out of the bathroom drying his hair. Mello rolled his eyes, Matt always took forever to shower.

"Aw, if I knew you were coming back I wouldn't have dressed." He told Mello.

Mello growled ever so slightly. "Shut up." He told him. "If you act like this you won't be allowed to come to Church with me."

And so it was, at half past eleven that night, they made their way to the Church. Snow was scattered across the ground, and ice was thick. Usually at this time Matt would be doing some kind of work, or some _other _kind of work. Mello would be out doing his Mafia work unless they were driving somewhere. But tonight, wrapped in a dark duffel coat he walked alongside Matt. They passed the cars and their headlights, under the lamps along the street they paced. Until they came to the Church. It was cold inside, colder than perhaps it was outside. But that didn't matter.

They were welcomed in, with a nod of the head as they took seats. Mello had not attended the midnight service for years. But it felt just as good. And as the service was, he saw the families all around happy to celebrate Christmas. Happy just to be alive. He watched the families but also the couples and the people all alone listen to the service. He sang the hymns as he stood beside Matt. He knew he was getting strange looks, he knew the two of them were. The man who had welcomed them into the Church so magnficent had bit down hard on his lip as he noticed Mello's scar but had refrained from saying anything. Mello knew how he amongst the many reacted to homosexuality. He knew how his Father would have reacted.

For a moment as he listened and watched he felt ashamed. When they bent their heads in prayer he felt guilty. Wanting Matt was a sin. Dreaming of Matt and all the things they did together, was sinful. Mello knew this, and so as he prayed he apologised for these things. And finally, once the service was over, they stood together to leave. Thanking people as they went, the Children for their beautiful singing in the choir, the Vicar for giving the service. They got outside and it was colder than before. Matt could see his breath in the air, he could have thought of many ways to spend the night, but if it made Mello happy then what the heck?

"God damn.." He stuttered as he hugged his arms around himself.

"Don't use the Lord's name in vain..especially not here." Mello cringed away. They walked inbetween the trees past the Gravestones outside the Church until they reached the main road. Matt stopped Mello under a streetlight, lifting his chin so that their eyes were locked he pulled his goggles out of his pocket. Mello had insisted he take them off in the Church. He pulled them on so they rested on his forehead. He pulled out a cigarette from his pocket lighting it between cupped hands he inhaled a drag.

"Mells, are you ok?" Matt asked. "Oh shit don't go all religious on me."

"Mattie, I'm sorry. It's just me being stupid. Ok? Let's go back to the room, sleep, and then wake up in the morning."

"It is the morning." Matt stated. "Oh really? Come on Mells, God made love. I don't think He'd have a problem with it."

"You don't understand." Mello lifted his eyes to Matt's, staring into the bottomless pools that made his eyes. Murky green water, that hid secrets unimaginable. "You wouldn't."

Matt took Mello's hand. "I love you." He whispered like a secret, before leaning forward and locking lips with the blonde. He pushed him backward against the wall. He breathed out so that the air in his lungs mixed with Mello's breath, then he leaned in deeper. He swirled his tongue around Mello's mouth, and Mello closed his eyes as he melted. Matt backed away slowly smirking. "Love is pure."

They walked to the hotel room so quickly, that Matt might have said they'd been air born. The worker at the front desk gave them a look of "Shut Up some people are trying to sleep" as they made their way upstairs. Mello unlocked the door, and no sooner had he put the key down on the table he was on the bed before Matt could make another sound. Matt kissed him firmly, unstopping. And Mello kissed him back, in protested worship. Mello could only moan as he felt Matt's fragile hands slip between the laces of his leather pants. He'd worn them as they looked the most normal under a dark coat. He allowed Matt to untie te strings. He made use of his hands once more when Matt had pulled the leather completely away by unzipping Matt's own jeans. Mello pushed Matt down too, biting his neck and watching him squirm.

When Matt awoke it really was Christmas. He was shaken awake by Mello's lips caressing his. He yawned and stretched. He felt sore. But he got up, managed it anyway and succeeded in getting dressed. Mello was already dressed and ready to go. Go where Matt didn't know. But Matt did get up and he did get dressed. Then slowly, he made his way to the bathroom in an attempt to brush his teeth. His lungs were wrecked and Mello's liver probably was but at least he'd have ok teeth.


	45. Chapter 45

**AN: Ok, so how's this? This is Christmas day, for Matt and for Mello. But it's Christmas day for Near too. How do they celebrate? Read and find out. Hope you enoy..and comment if needed..Have fun reading!**

Matt smashed the cigarette into the car ash tray. He remembered Christmas day at Wammy's, when after weeks of decorating and preperation Christmas was upon them. He wondered what Christmas was like at Wammy's now. Did they still celebrate it? Where they sitting around opening presents? Some children might have but one, others would have a few more. He remembered Christmas day, the children were impossible to calm. They'd be wraping that one last gift, or building snow men. Lights used to be hung in garlands upon garlands all around in beautiful patterns. Matt wondered if they still celebrated like this.

"Dark days Mattie." Mello murmured, stroking his hair.

"I'm driving." Matt told him. "Are you sure we need to be out?" He asked. "I could be watching Amane."

"Have a heart Mattie. It's Christmas."

"Still." He said

"I'm filiming it. And besides, you better believe that New Year's won't be as nice as this."

"Of course." He sighed one hand on the steering wheel. He gestured to the cigarette. "You should never smoke those things. They're addictive."

"I know." Mello told him. Silence lapsed in the car.

"Where are we going again?" Matt asked. He fumbled with the radio, and it crackled to life carefully. A stupid song came onto the radio, singing of white Christmasses, it was certainly right about one thing.

Mello laughed a short laugh. "Heck you're the one driving!" He paused. "Take the second exit."

"Why?" Matt asked. He did as told however. "We are going back to the room tonight right?" He asked. "It's just all my equiptment's there."

Mello nodded. "Yeah, yeah, yeah." He agreed.

"Ok." Matt said. "Don't tell me." He made a face. "Just expect me to drive around in circles for a few hours."

"It's alright." Mello rolled his eyes. "Turn at the next left." He told Matt. They had now come into a town. Matt did as he was told once more, and Mello grinned knowing he was as obidient as a dog. "Just ahead." He promised. "Ok. You can park here." He told Matt.

Matt found a space in the relitavely empty parking lot and reversed into it with a skilled hand. "Ok." He unbuckled his seat belt, and clambered out of the car. "So we're here." He squinted up at the sign above the large building they had parked outside. The sun reflected off the snow, blinding innocent passersby.

"Wait a second!" Mello called, he had his door open. "Let's exchange gifts first!"

"Ok." Matt murmured, he searched in the car for a second before finding a small package. He grinned at Mello. "Here you go."

Mello smiled at the sloppy wrapping job, and opened it quickly. Inside he discovered a box of expensive heart chocolates. "Thanks Mattie." He smiled.

"Open them.." He told the blonde.

Mello did as he was told. Sitting inside the box, on top of the chocolate was a small box. He put the chocolate box down on the seat of the car, and opened the small box. Inside the box was a necklace. It was a key, small and golden, engraved with the words _The key to my heart_. Attatched to a leather string he turned it over slowly in his hands, stroking it slightly. He smiled warmly. "Beautiful." He murmured.

Matt smiled. "I thought you'd like it." He blushed slightly. "Here." He took the necklace from him, tying it around his neck. "It looks good with the leather." He commented.

Mello fumbled with his hooded leather jacket to retrieve Matt's gift. He handed it to Matt. It was a small packet, wrapped with care. Matt didn't even know where he'd got the paper from. It was a rich red colour. Matt had wrapped Mello's gift in newspaper. "This is for you."

Matt picked at the wrapping paper, opening it carefully. Inside he found a single feather and a small pendant. Engraved on the silver pendant was an angel wing. He smiled, tracing the outline using his finger. "It's...nice."

Mello nodded. "It's an Angel Wing." He informed the redhead as he fastned it for him. "It's so you know that you're always loved, and always protected."

"Oh.." Matt murmured, he felt a lump rise in his throat as he felt the metal against his skin. "It's.."

"I know it's not your thing. I don't mind if you don't like it. It's just.." Mello started to ramble.

Matt pressed his lips to Mello's, a quick kiss, before drawing away. "I love it." He told Mello.

They stood in silence for a few moments, watching the snow fall around them. Mello coughed. "Well let's go then." He said.

"It's a leisure centre?"Matt asked. He rubbed his hands together, they were cold.

Mello shook his head. "Not just any one." He told Matt. "This one has an ice rink."

"Are you serious?" Matt asked. Mello was serious, and so minutes later they were sitting inside and Mello was taking his boots off. "You ice skate?" Matt asked, watching as two iceskaters obviously a couple left the ice together giggling and holding hands.

Mello nodded. "Do you?" He asked, as he tied his skate.

Matt shook his head. "Never tried it."

"Good." Mello said pulling his other boot off. He pulled the right skate over his foot and started to tie that one. "I can't promise you won't fall. But I'm sure you'll be great." He informed Matt, and reached over clutching Matt's foot.

"What are you doing?" Matt asked.

Mello started to pull off his boots setting them down and he worked his way to the counter that had supplied the skates. He passed both sets of footwear over then made his way back to Matt. "You can't run now!" He told him. "Well you could, but it wouldn't make sense." He told him. He slipped Matt's ice skates over his feet and tied them. "Ready?" He asked.

"Mells..I haven't done this before..I don't know how.."

"Come on Mattie, give it a go!" He stood up and pulled Matt with him again. "Ready?" He repeated.

"No?" Matt asked. Mello thought his hands might be visibly shaking. Under the gloves that was.

"Ah well." Mello grinned rolling his eyes as he gripped the wall tightly getting Matt onto the ice. He held Matt by one hand. "Besides, hardly any one's here. No one will laugh if you fall."

"That makes me feel so much better!" Matt told him, stepping out onto the ice. He stumbled, slipping and Mello grabbed both of his hands.

"Whoa! Carefully!" Mello said. "I'd better hold onto you." Matt nodded. Mello danced backwards as he skated, pulling him gently with him. Matt stumbled once, and beneath his goggles Mello knew his eyes were closed.

"Oh god! I'm going to break my neck!" Matt told him. "B was right, I'm dying young!"

Mello shook his head. "You won't break your neck!" He said gently. "Relax."

"Please don't pull me!" Matt begged.

"Rather I let you go?" Mello raised an eyebrow, letting go of one hand. Matt grabbed his hand again.

"Don't!" Matt begged. "I'll fall!"

"Ha." Mello would never have thought that Matt might be so scared of a little fall. "You talk so hard," he told the redhead as they glided. "So tough, and you're afraid of ice?"

Matt eyed him skeptically. "Promise you won't let me fall?"

"Would I ever?" Mello asked.

Matt shook his head. "I trust you." He admitted. He closed his eyes letting Mello pull him around, knowing that all his trust lay in the blonde's hands. He relaxed slowly listening to Mello talk, murmuring deep into a conversation as they danced. Matt decided it was as good as dancing, just more difficult. Whenever he stopped and started to concentrate he was sure he would fall. But Mello had told him that he would not let him fall, and so he trusted his partner.

"This is nice." Mello spoke into his ear.

"I know." Matt murmured back. "Let me try to skate on my own for a moment."

Mello nodded. "Sure." He said. He let go of Matt's hands, and the man wobbled slightly for a second. "Are you ok?" He asked his hands outreached towards him.

"Yes." Matt said. Mello moved away and Matt followed him too hastily. He slipped on the ice. "No!" He cried, falling backwards and grabbing at Mello's wrists. He pulled the blonde down with him. He landed hard on the ice, Mello on top. He winced trying to move. "I don't think I'm good at skating." He admitted. "Ow." He muttered.

"You're hopeless." Mello muttured as he pushed himself up using a wall for support. "Come on." He reached out a hand.

Matt took it, pulling on it for support. "Ok. I can handle this."

"No you can't." Mello told him. "You need me." He whispered gently.

"I wouldn't deny that." Matt answered, he felt the angel wing necklace around his neck. "Let me try for a second on my own." He let go of Mello's hand, and gripped the hand rail tightly. He tried to walk, but felt his feet slip beneath him.

"Wow." Mello murmured. "Try to glide your feet. Ok? Not lift them." He paused. "Ok reverse that. See if you can march first." He took Matt's hand, not supporting just there if he needed it. "Ok? Lift one foot, and put it forward. Then the other."

"Ok." Matt agreed, he put one foot in front of the other, then slipped slightly grabbing at Mello's hand. He managed to stay upright though, and tried again. "Hey I'm doing it!" He told Mello.

Mello smirked. "Nah you're not. Not yet." He told him. "Ok. I'm letting go of your hand again. Ok?" He asked. Matt nodded enthusiastically. "Keep marching." Matt did as he was told, and Mello glided back and forth as he marched. Matt was uneasy on his feet, slipping slightly every now and then, gripping at the walls and at Mello's hand. But finally he seemed to get it. "Great." Mello told him. "Now try gliding." He put a hand on Matt's shoulder to slow him. "No not on one foot! One foot at a time. Ok?" He asked.

Matt nodded. "I can do this." He told Mello. He put both arms out to either side like a scarecrow. Mello almost caught sight of the gun in his vest but that was just because he knew it was there. He was so sure of himself that as he moved his feet trying to go forward he forgot to hold onto something when his legs slipped from beneath him. Mello found it hard not to laugh, but he failed. "What's funny?" Matt asked as he strugled to sit up. He shivered as he eyed the small crowd milling about on the ice now, skates scratching patterns into its surface. "How'd they do it?"

Mello glided back to him, and showered his face with ice flakes when he stopped. "Mattie you can't understand how funny it is! And they've been doing it longer than you have." He grinned. "How long have you been on the ice?" He asked.

"I've been on it long enough to fall about a hundred times!" Matt frowned. Mello extended a hand to help Matt up, but Matt let go of it too early. The metal blades that were attatched to his feet tilted this way and that, and almost immediately he toppled over again. Mello caught him by the shoulders and held him for a second.

"Ok?" Mello asked. "Let's go round again. I'll hold your hand, and then you can try on your own again."

"Wow." Matt agreed. "I feel like a three year old."

Mello smiled and let Matt go. Matt managed to stand still on his own, he started to slip as he tried to move away from Mello though. Mello placed his gloved hand in Matt's, and stood opposite for a second. "You act it sometimes." Mello smiled sadly.

Matt shook his head. "Why am I doing this?" He asked.

"Because you love me." Mello reminded him knowingly.

"Ok. Instruct me in this art." Matt said.

Mello moved his free hand upward, brushing a stray lock from Matt's face. His own face was slightly shadowed by the hood, he still felt so concious of the scar that disfigured half of his face. He knew people stared at it. "It's no different from walking. One foot then the other. Ok?" He said carefully.

Matt grabbed his other hand, holding both hands tightly. "Ok." He said. He mimicked what Mello did.

"What would you do, if I told Wammy's that you couldn't skate?" Mello joked.

"I'd tell the mafia what you did last night." Matt threatened. "I'd tell them what a wonderful, loving boyfriend you are. Would you like that?" He asked.

Mello shrugged. "You know," he murmured. "I don't really care anymore."

"Don't worry." Matt winked. "Your secrets safe with me."

"I love you too." Mello said. Slowly he inched across the ice, much slower than before. He lead Matt at a speed in which Matt could just about balance on his own. As they went slightly faster Mello felt his body lurch left or right and threaten to collapse but he didn't. As they made their way around the ring, Mello skated backwards for a while, pulling Matt with him. Matt would squeeze his hands, and help would come to him. Support or advice.

"Can I try this on my own now?" Matt asked again.

"You sure?" Mello raised an eyebrow. "You can try." He told him.

"Ok." Matt said. "But don't go too far away!" He warned Mello. Mello undid himself from Matt's grasp slowly, and pushed himself away. Matt stood alone as a two children, one with red mittens one with blue skated around him. They darted past him rounding the corner of the rink at an unnatural speed.

"I'm here if you need me." Mello told him.

Matt moved one foot at a time, feeling like a child taking his first steps. He felt his frown deepen as he slowly made his way around the rink, Mello following. He stuck close to the side but managed to move timidly around hands out for balance. He managed to make his way around the rink once, then slightly faster a second time. "Mells! I can do it!" He announced as he completed his second lap around the rink on his own. "Can I go faster?"

Mello laughed. "I don't know Matt. The laws of nature might not allow it." He paused as if in deep thinking. "Can you go faster?"

Matt wobbled slightly, putting a hand on Mello's shoulder for balance. "I think I can." He told Mello. "Race? Once around. Winner can-"

"Winner can-" Mello leaned in and whispered into Matt's ear. Matt blushed furiously.

"That's not fair!" He told Mello. "I might even loose on purpose now!"

"I thought this was a race?" Mello smirked.

"Fine." Matt agreed. "You're on."

"Not yet I'm not." Mello smiled.

Matt looked flustered. "That's not what I meant." He objected.

"Oh I know." Mello smirked again. "Just don't hurt yourself trying to win."

"Ok. Ready-Go!" Matt shouted. He pushed off, almost slamming into a young woman and her boyfriend. "Sorry!" He called over his shoulder to her/. She simply laughed awkwardly.

"Not fair!" Mello shouted after him. He started to skate. He knew he was the better skater, and so he soon caught up with Matt. Casually he cut in front of him, and laughed as Matt's arms and legs flailed as he fell backward.

"Ah!" Matt tucked his arms in as he fell. Mello rounded back and grinded to a stop. He put his hand out.

"Are you ok?" He asked. Matt grabbed his arm, then pulling himself up used that as a push off. "Cheat!" Mello called. "As in the race!" He informed other skaters. "Not as in he's a cheat in a relationship." He called as he skated onwards.

"Not fair!" Matt wheezed gripping the wall to propel him along. Mello had caught up once more and was ahead of him barely one pace. "Cheat!"

"How am I cheating?" Mello asked. "You're the one with the false start." He weaved ahead then skated backward so he could be just ahead of Matt.

"I'm not going to lose!" Matt told him. He tried to grab onto Mello and Mello let him, only for a second to steady himself. He pulled forward.

"Yeah you are." Mello called over his shoulder. He didn't need to use the railing for support or anyone else. Matt was still unsteady.

Matt charged forward, scrambling. Mello had almost finished his lap, and as he did he stopped. That was when Matt collided with him. He crashed onto the ice, and clutched his head as he managed to sit up. Matt was next to him, on his stomach. Mello swayed slightly as he stood up, giving his hand to Matt. "Sorry Mells." Matt said to him.

"You're not good at stopping are you Mattie?" He asked.  
>Matt looked confused and then laughed. "Yes. I also need to learn how to go around an ice rink without killing myself or my friend."<p>

Mello laughed too, it felt good. "It's ok." He sighed. "I haven't killed you yet, you haven't killed me yet."

"I suppose so." Matt took Mello's hand as they glided from the ice.

Mello chuckled lightly again. "Come on." He helped Matt off of the ice and they headed to get their boots back.

"I just need your help to balance." Matt admitted.

Mello smiled a small smile. "We all need help to balance." He told his friend, and his lover.

The truth in that sentence was perfect. It was pure and true. Mello needed Matt, and Matt needed Mello. In some sences they were the opposites, but opposites attract. Without one there was not the other. Matt could never imagine a world without Mello, ever since he had met him. Mello could not imagine a world without Matt. Since the day he had become friends with him he had never been able to consider life without him. But as the two handed their skates back and wished the girl behind the counter a merry Christmas, there was a young white headed boy, sitting alone by several computer monitors.

Nate River could imagine a world without Mello. He found it quite easy. It was a nightmare. Near had never been loved, and he had seen the pain it caused, so he never wished to love anyone. He imagined a world without Mihael Keehl now, and it filled him with dread. He dreaded the day Mello died, and he knew it was sooner than ever. He didn't have the eyes of a Shinigami, but there was a feeling inside him that told him Mello didn't have long left. He sighed. All that was left was to do his job. To be L, to become L. He wasn't Near any more.

Mello looked up at the doorway of the building. Outside it was snowing again, but over the automatic doors was pinned a single piece of mistletoe. Mello gestured up at it. "What about it?" Matt asked.

"Mistletoe." Mello said slowly.

"That was the first time we kissed." Matt reminded him. "Back at Wammy's. It was a joke, Linda had put it up hadn't she?"

Near remembered the first time Mello had kissed Matt. He had been there. He had seen them. It was Christmas, and that year he had been given two gifts. None of the other children had ever given him a gift. He was Near, he had no friend. But that year Mello had felt sorry for him. And so he had given him a present. It was a bar of chocolate. That was all. But Near had wanted to thank Mello for it. And he had gone to the room Mello shared with Matt. He had seen them kiss, and then Mello had shouted at him. He had run, hid from the blonde, afraid of how angry he would be. Mello had always told him not to come to his room. Near remembered that well. He remembered Mello's angry words from that Christmas so long ago well.

Mello laughed, he felt awkward. "This Christmas has been one of the best Mattie."

"I know." Matt answered, he leaned in and kissed Mello. His hands snaked to the back of Mello's head. Fumbling in the blonde's hair, he withdrew to pull his goggles away from his eyes. He pushed his tongue inbetween Mello's lips, a tingle of excitement as their breath mixed together. Mello's hands wondered over his body as they kissed, and finally he pulled away. "Merry Christmas Mihael."

"Merry Christmas Mail." Mello whispered in reply. He put his arm around Matt's waist as they made their way to the car.

"Merry Christmas Nate." Whispered Near. He blew out the single candle he had lit. A candle to remember the dead, to remember the loved ones that weren't there. No one else would say Merry Christmas to him, so he might as well say it to himself. It wasn't the only time he had been alone on that die, and he guessed it wouldn't be the last. "Merry Christmas L." Whispered the white haired boy, to the air around him, and more to himself. "I miss you."


	46. Chapter 46

**AN: Most of you who are in school/collage/sixthform will be going back tomorrow/this week. So good luck, and I hope your new year is good. This isn't a new year for everyone, but for kids it is a new year of school. So this is a good day to publish this chapter. Today was a bad day for me, which is sad. But hopefully the chapter makes you smile. I love all of your reviews, they make me happy, and your messages of support are appriciated. I know not all of you like to review. But keep reviewing and keep commenting. Thank you..**

This would be their last New Year. This would be the last time they sat in their hotel room together drinking to the New Year as all around in cities across the country people celebrated.

This would be the last one they would ever have. The last time that they would be able to sit together lapsing in silence and enjoy the thought that people were partying everywhere. Shrieking people in a few seconds would be jumping up and down in joy, loving the fact they had surived yet another year. They'd be drinking and laughing, enjoying the New Year with their friends and family. Mello sat on the floor, glaring at a computer screen willing it to do something. He glanced at Matt, smiling weakly as Matt cursed the video game he played.

Twenty five minutes to midnight, new year's eve. Mello willed the new year just to happen already, to stop messing with their heads and to just happen. He'd lived through nineteen of these things, a twentieth made no difference. But this was different, this was the last one. He stared across out of their window, looking at the alley out back. Up in the heavens stars were beggining to be visible at last, in the murky darkness of the city. Matt set the game down as he looked at his phone's clock, and moved over to sit by Mello.

"26 days." He whispered. Mello nodded. He didn't want to say it out loud. "I feel like a charecter in a book." He murmured.

Mello smiled. "Or a video game."

Matt grinned too. "It's cramped in here." He muttered. "Let's go outside. Not anywhere, just outside."

Mello shrugged. "Sure. Whatever. If you want." He agreed finally. He reached out for his coat, leather and black. He slipped his hand through Matt's before leading the way from the hotel room, his key in his pocket, and down the stairs to the street. They had moved most of their things to the car, and were meaning to leave the next day. The roads were busy tonight. Mello walked around to where the car was parked, and leaned against the bonnet.

"I can't breathe in there. You know?" Matt asked. "It's just so closed. It's better out here." He breathed the air in, drinking it as if it were a rich wine. He gulped it.

"I understand." Mello agreed. "So where are we headed? For Takada?"

"For the bitch." He agreed. He sighed. "26 days." He paused. "Doesn't sond like a lot does it?" He asked.

Mello shook his head. "We'll make it count." He promised. "Every single one."

Matt nodded, he felt a lump form in his throat. "Heck Mells, I don't want to die." His face twisted slightly as he fought back tears.

"I know." Mello put his arm on Matt's face. Matt decided he believed in angels to some degree. He couldn't understand why they had lost so much if an angel truly was watching over them. But on the other hand, he thought that Mello was his angel. Not that he'd tell anyone else, not in a thousand years. He wondered if it was possible to corrupt an angel, he deffinetly believed he had. He was closer to Mello than anyone, closer than siblings closer than couples. He didn't care anymore what other people thought. He believed in angels, because he believed in Mello.

"Mello. I'm scared." He whispered, but before he could finish Mello's soft lips were against his own holding the words in his mouth like an animal trapped in a cage. Matt broke from the passionate kiss breathless, he didn't want Mello to slip away from him. "If..if I die..Mello..promise you'll keep fighting?"

Mello shook his head. "How can I do that when you're not around?" He asked.

A breeze whispered through the air. The pub across the road was doing well for buisness, a large tv screen showing New York city was blaring out noise. Matt pulled his goggles into place, readjusting the strap. "Mells..I want to go out with a bang..you know?" He asked.

Mello nodded. "You would." He agreed. He helped Matt's fumbling hands to light a cigarette, which he placed in his mouth quickly.

"Thank you." Matt muttered, puffing out the smoke. "When I die, I'm dying for the Kira case. I am not going without a fight. Understand?"

Mello felt it best to humour him. "Sure." He smiled. "You're going to make a big impression first."

Matt laughed. "Yeah and I'll see Kira in hell."

"No you won't." Mello shook his head. "You're not going to hell." When he spoke he didn't know the truth in which he did.

Matt laughed a weary laugh. "God I sound like I'm sick or something!" He smirked. "Love sick." He made a face.

"Oh that's cheesy." Mello playfully hit him around the back of the head. "Oh that was bad Mail, even for you."

Matt smiled. "I'm serious though." He leaned back yawning. "You can't stop fighting."

"There's nothing worth fighting for without you." Mello murmured, stroking Mello's face, outlining the dreadful scar with one finger.

"Yes there is.." Matt scolded. "There's..there's.." He raided his mind. "Finish the job at least then. Promise me that?"

"Ok." Mello smiled. "I promise you that." He smiled, a light drizzle was starting to come down now. When the water hit the snow it would turn it to slush. It was less a deep purple sky now than a dark grey one. It was depressing. Mello looked up at the sky, now unable to see the moon.

"What are you thinking?" Matt asked, his arm snaking around Mello's neck. He smiled as his skin made contact with Mello's, the prickling sensation he enjoyed.

"The moon's gone." Mello told him.

Matt smiled, Mello often spoke of things that made little to no sense when he was upset. "Yes. Maybe because it was lonely." He said.

Mello frowned deeply. He brushed a piece of the red head's hair from his eyes. "I'm not lonely anymore Mattie." He murmured.

"Me neither." Matt replied.

"You could be so many places right now." Mello told him. "You could have a nice home, somewhere you could live and not have to keep running from. You could have a girl, you could have a future."

Matt shrugged. "It wouldn't be the same one." He murmured. "It wouldn't be with you." He choked the words. "It's getting nearer and nearer isn't it?"

Nodding Mello refused to cry. "I know. I don't want you to die." He whispered. "I need you."

Matt put his head on Mello's shoulder. "Do you think it hurts?"

"Dying?" Mello replied. "I don't know. It's depending on how."

"I'm scared." He buried his head in Mello's jacket, staining his fur vest in tears. He whispered the words making muffled sounds but Mello still heard him. The blonde brushed the gamer's hair out of his face, and pulled the goggles up, revealing his blood shot eyes. "I don't want to hurt.."

Mello shook his head. "I promise you it won't." He told the man. "I won't let it hurt. Ok?" He asked.

Matt nodded like a small child. "Shit I'm scared." He whispered. "It's really going to happen isn't it?" He asked.

"We all die one day." Mello replied.

"Yeah. Just don't expect it no?" He asked. "When we were at Wammy's, it was like, the world was our oyster. We could do anything. If we screwed up we could try again, Watari sorted it for us."

Mello sighed. "I know."

"We're going to die. There's nothing we can do." He paused. "All my life, spent never wanting to grow up, never wanting to get old." He wiped his eyes with a sleeve. "And now it's not ever going to happen." He sighed.

"What you want to be alive when you're like one hundred and have white hair and a walking stick?" Mello asked mockingly.

Matt shook his head. "No. I'd just like the option." He smiled sadly. "Don't you think about it?"

Mello shrugged. "About what? Getting old?" He asked.  
>"No. About the future. Like what could happen." He paused. "Linda's having a baby. She's going to be a mum. Did you ever even consider that when we were at the orphanage?"<p>

Mello shook his head. "I guess not." He paused. "I never thought about her getting married either. I mean, we were kids."

"We can hardly call ourselves grown ups!"

"But not kids either." Mello corrected. "We stopped being kids a long time ago. I don't think we were ever really kids anyway. Not after we got to Wammy's. Wammy's took that away, you know? Training to be L. Training, practising. Every day we worked toward the future, but none of us really thought about it did we?"

"Nope." He agreed. He whimpered slightly like a wounded animal. "I want to be in charge of my life. I wonder sometimes, was that why A did it?"

"Why A did what?" Mello replied.

"Committed suicide." Matt bit his lip, he felt his chest heave. "None of us are in charge of our lives at Wammy's. Neither of us are now are we?"

"What do you mean?" Mello hugged Matt to him. He looked at his phone, five minutes to go.

"We do what we have to do to survive. To catch Kira. Because it's our duty. But come on, when this is over, are we going to be remembered for defeating him?"

Mello shrugged. "Probably not." He admitted.

"People are going to remember what my last words are forever." Matt promised to no one in particular.

Mello was truly amused with this. "If you want." He smiled. He ran a hand through his hair, he watched a girl and a man walking hand in hand down the street toward the open door of the pub. "Wow." He sighed. "I never did imagine that I'd be alive now."

"Me neither." He paused. "And Linda, I mean, getting married. When we were fifteen we thought she'd be with Mason forever. It was set to be."

"But then.." Mello paused. "Mason was my friend too." He managed. "At least he got his wish, he was good looking for eternity."

Matt sighed. "Then with Rhys. Thought that'd last forever too." He licked his lips. "I miss him."

"So do I." Mello said. "Rhys. God it wasn't even that long." He looked over his memories in his mind. "Four years at the most? Four years and I feel like I knew him forever." He felt tears take him again but he knew it wasn't the time. "Wammy's kids are cursed." He muttered. "Rhys didn't deserve to die. Heck there are some guys this world's better without, but who the hell are we to judge?" He demanded. "Kira didn't kill Rhys, but he wouldn't have been in America had it not been for him."

Matt trembled slightly, and Mello wasn't sure if it was the cold or the thoughts that overwhelmed him. "When we met him, we had a choice. We could have abandoned him, but we didn't. He became one of us so quickly. He made Linda so happy. That was all that mattered wasn't it?" He asked.

Mello nodded. "Has Sara tried to get in touch?" He asked.

Matt shook his head. "I'm sorry Mells. I really am." He wiped a tear from his eye. He looked at his phone. "Five."

"Four." Mello replied.

"Three." Came the whisper.

"Two."

"One." Matt said. From the pub came the cheer of Happy New Year and Matt couldn't help himself but smile. "I'm sorry Mello."

"What for?" Mello asked, he closed his eyes slowly resting his forehead against Matt's.

Matt smiled sadly. "Because." He said. "Still Linda's turned out ok. Sara'll be ok. I'm sure she'll be ok. I know you worry about her." He shut his eyes tight, fighting the stinging urge to cry. "I miss Rhys." He paused. "My Mum and Dad. Mells I miss them all. But I don't want to join them."

Mello held him tightly. "It's ok." He whispered. "I won't make you."

"I don't want to die." He whispered as Mello's fingers dragged through his hair, and Mello's lips met his. He pulled away. "I'm so sorry. I'm scared."

Mello coughed. "I'll keep you safe." He murmured. "I won't let anything hurt you."

Matt collapsed into him. "Promise?" He asked.  
>"I promise. You're safe with me." He promised.<p>

"I love you Mello."

"I..I love you too Mattie.." Mello murmured softly. He could hear Matt's words so clearly in his mind, just as loud as the ringing.

"One question." Matt said slowly as he pulled away.

"Anything Matt, what is it?"

"Do you hear the ringing?" The question hung in the air like ice.

Mello nodded slowly. "Why?"

Matt shook his head, he put a hand to his forehead. "I-it doesn't matter. I'm just imagining things."  
>They stood in silence for a few moments before Mello spoke. "Let's go inside. It's bloody freezing out here."<p>

Matt smiled. "Uh yeah. That'd be good." He agreed, he stopped Mello before he moved.

"What is it Mattie?" Mello turned, putting his hands on Matt's face holding Matt's head close to his own.

"I love you Baby." Matt whispered.

Mello smiled. "I love you too." And then he kissed him. There were no words imaginable that you could use to describe it. It was the complete opposite of pure hate, it was pure love. Love that you could get drunk on, love so pure it might cause blindness for anyone to see its true form. The love in that kiss was like the need to breathe, unexplainable except for the fact that if you did not breathe you would die. There was an undying beauty about the kiss, passionate and wet, yet so magnificent. The beauty that is the laugh of a child, the beauty that belongs to so many different things we see every day. Beauty that is all around us, but we hardly ever see each day.

The first day of that year was a beautiful one. It was beautiful, because the sun rose that day and the world continued to exist. No one saw the kiss between Matt and Mello. People didn't see a white haired boy pulling a party popper on his own. Not everyone saw the couples all over the world kiss as the clock struck midnight in their countries. People didn't see individual snow flakes falling. No one saw the crying baby left on the doorstep of Wammy's house. No one sees a lot of things, but that doesn't stop them from happening.

Nothing stopped the kiss from happening. And it was beautiful. Mihael Keehl is beautiful. Mail Jeevas is beautiful. And together they are pure love. That was the day the new year began, the year they met their end.


	47. Chapter 47

Twenty four days left. The countdown had begun.

It was the second of January, Mello fell silent as he continued to go over his reports and updates. He brushed through the pages as he heard the soft click of one of Matt's laptops being closed, the careful steps he took away from his station through the narrow maze of cords and tools. Mello didn't look up as he heard the footsteps thuding, or the furious pacing. He heard a loud thud and realised Matt must have kicked something. He turned the page. He heard a smash, and realised Matt must have knocked something over. "Matt I don't own the dishes! Try not to break anything!" He called as he flicked through the reports, one detailing their flight.

There was a shatter as a dish was thrown. Mello rolled his eyes and returned them to the page. "Don't care!" He shouted. "We're leaving in fifteen minutes for the airport."

"What were you on when you concucted this one?" Matt didn't shout. He hardly matter what he broke he didn't shout.

"I thought you were following me to the end." Mello raised his eyebrows. He flipped through the pages keeping his mind busy.

"Yes. But I didn't know this part of the plan! And I never said I wasn't going to go through with it!"

"Good!" Mello called, even if Matt wasn't shouting he was. "Because we're in this together as always! To beat Kira!"

"When we get there where's my car coming from?" Matt continued pacing. "I'm not having one of those horrible cars that your mafia friends like." He ranted.

Mello smiled chancing a glance at Matt. "The car'll be fine. It's the one you chose anyway."

"Where are yo-never mind." Matt corrected himself. "And my system? How are we transporting all of it this time? Is Liam collecting it right?"

Mello nodded. "Aren't you giving half of this stuff to Liam anyway? What's happening when we get there?"

"Oh I have my resources." Matt winked.

"I still think you could stay here." Mello told him. "It might-change things. If I went through with the plan alone."

"If you did that it wouldn't work." Matt snapped. "Besides, then we'd both be dead."

"We don't know that." Mello told him. "Where's the paranoia you used to have Mattie? But I just have to accept that you're not going to give in are you?" The words had a dangerous chill in them.

"Yep because as always we're Near's pawns." Matt smirked repeating back what Mello had ranted about the night before.

"I know. But I wouldn't say pawns. I'd be a-"

"I'm deffinetly the queen." Matt told him.

"You're Near's queen?" Mello raised an eyebrow.

Matt punched him lightly. "Not like that." He scolded. "But in honesty I think you're the queen. He might be making the moves as king, and if he did die then you'd take his place. But he doesn't have that much power. You're the queen."

Mello sighed. He didn't play chess much, he preffered the Swedish board games. He also enjoyed a game called Thud. "Right. So what are you?"

"I don't know. You ever heard about a Bishop and a Queen falling in love?" He asked.

Mello leaned into the wet kiss. "Lovely." He smiled.

"Besides even if we split up and we both survived." Matt theorised. "You'd disappear and so would I. But this time I wouldn't be able to find you. It took me years to track you down after you ran from Wammy's, and it was only because you had a crap hacker that I found you at all! You'd evaporate and it'd be like you didn't exist any more!" He'd started pacing again then stopped.

Mello looked away from the papers. "I wouldn't do that." He promised. "If we ever get seperated again, I'd come looking for you. I'd be looking for you for the rest of my life.

Matt nodded slowly, taking it in. "Of course." He said, though he half believed him. "We're going to do this. Kira won't win."

"Do really want him to win after all of this?" Mello asked carefully.

Matt shook his head. "He won't win." He promised. He was glad of his orange tinted goggles now. "That is what this is about right?" He asked. "Beating Kira? Or is it about Near?" His expression softened. Neither of them truly wanted Near dead, and Matt had never really disliked Near at all. Now they were to be flying to where they were going to commit a highly dangerous kidnapping where one and probably both would die. Now Matt was slightly worried. If they were doing this they had the right morals.

"It's about Kira." Mello promised. "We can't do this alone. He needs us. Like you said, if the King plays on his own he's not worth it. If the King plays with Queen and Bishop by his side, then he has a chance. He had Wammy's, and part of the US. For Kira to lose, Near has to be the one with the cards. It's either Kira, or the us."

Matt looked down at his phone. It was quarter past four in the morning. "What time does the flight leave again?" He asked.

"Four fourty five."

"Shit."

Rushing through the airport, Matt held his rucksack that held everything he owned. Mello had had the plane delayed slightly, and they'd bluffed their way through security. Matt had to say, he'd thought it would have been harder to get through with half the things that Mello usually carried. Except Mello didn't get searched when he went through secuirty, all he did was flash a badge. They had searched Matt though, and he only had a carry on. He'd been forced to empty his pockets of all coins, gadgets and accesories. Mello had frowned, rolled his eyes and tutted as Matt emptied the contents. Matt felt like slapping him. Finally they'd got through, with little confusion. Matt hadn't even seen his passport before. It was one Mello had obtained, best not to ask questions about where from.

"Remind me..why we're flying...commercial.." Matt puffed as they rushed through the crowded airport towards their departure gate.

"Because. Roger confiscated my plane." Mello pretended to pout as they showed the passports once more. They were being met my some of Mello's associates at their destination.

"Seriously?" Matt gasped.

Mello laughed. "No you idiot. Because it's quick, and it's less hassle than driving for a month. Besides, neither of us are dying before we get there are we?" He demanded.

Matt shook his head. "I guess not." He admitted. The woman smiled at Mello, and Matt felt a tang of jealosuy when he smiled back. Then they were boarding the plane hurriedly. "What seats do we get?" He asked Mello.

"First class." Mello shrugged. "I don't know. Fancy buying a plane?" He asked. He felt self conscious of his scar as a small girl clutching her mother's hand pointed and giggled.

"Don't point Lilly! It's rude." The woman scolded. She murmured an apology to Mello.

They passed a broad shouldered woman who smelt heavily scented and heavy, wearing a feather boa and a faux fur coat. Then Mello squidged past a man in a suit who was rummaging in his brief case. He hurried past a flight attendent who had white hair and reminded him of a certain albino. Finally they sat down, and Mello leant back.

"When are we taking off?" Matt whispered as the flight attendents discussed safety.

Mello shrugged. "We'll get there. Eventually." He replied.

They had two seats together, and there was quite a bit of room around them. "Want to go over the plan?" Matt asked casually.

"For when we land?" Mello returned. The tone of voice was kept noncholent.

"Yeah."

"Don't know who's listening." Mello replied eyeing a man with headphones in who was reading.

"Ok." Matt replied. He went over it in his head. He was going to be a decoy because this was much safer. They'd want to ask him questions, and he wouldn't be charged with anything too serious even if he were charged. Which he doubted, because he could probably escape from holding much quicker than Mello. He'd always been better at lock picking. He knew Beyond Birthday fated his death, but seriously who believed in that stuff? He didn't care about logic. He was convinced he wasn't dying. He just went along with it for Mello's sake.

Mello went over the plan in his own mind as he drowned out the speaking hostess. He would take Takada on the bike, because he was the best rider. Matt was a decoy and would be safer. If they survived, which he prayed they would, though he knew it wasn't going to happen, they would meet again seventy two hours later. They had arranged to meet in one of the mafia houses. Liam would meet them there, and then they were going back to Wammy's. Because they were sure that within seventy two hours Kira aka Light Yagami would be defeated. Mello had however, taken the trouble of setting up the funds. His inheritance was quite a lot, but Wammy's house was caring for most of it. The Keehl fortune.

The plane started to move along the runway, gaining speed until they entered the air. A loud chiming voice rang out over the intercom. "Good morning passangers..."


	48. Chapter 48

Mello's phone buzzed, indicating he had recieved a message. He tried to ignore it, and succeeded quite well as it pulsed against his leg before silently stopping. Then it buzzed again, vibrating fast. He continued to ignore it. They were half an hour into their flight and had quite a good way to go left. He was trying to go through his plan on paper. But he couldn't, because his phone wouldn't shut up. It had stopped now, and he felt slightly angry for wanting to throw it out of a window. He glanced across at Matt, who was dozing lightly, his eyes half open and just out of focus. He looked high. Mello couldn't remember the last time they'd smoked pot. Good times he thought. Good times.

Then his phone for the third time started to buzz, he clamped a hand over it, as if condemning it to silence. It still didn't stop, this time the pulsing device vibrated in his pocket continously. He rolled his eyes. He ignored it, and finally it stopped. No one of importance had this number anyway. There was another buzz-a short one, and two more. Something was up, he had five text messages and one phone call? Not even his mafia associates tried that hard in succesion of each other. It was odd.

Looking up at the flight attendant passing he nodded smiling, then from his pocket slipped the phone. He wasn't meant to have it online in the air, but Matt had done something to it. He didn't care what, but it sure meant he got good signal. He shouldn't have it on, but he did. He broke so many rules and laws already a few more wouldn't do that much harm. He flicked it open his eyes scanning the screen. He was right. Five messages, one phone call. The phone buzzed in his hand and he almost dropped it. Make that six messages.

Mark is trying to get hold of you. He says it's urgent. I think he's in trouble? He's been trying a number you left him. I gave him this one. Are you ok?

Liam.

Mello breathed out slightly. He looked at another message. This one was from Mark.

Please phone me. Need help.

Mark

Mello's heart started to beat slightly faster, his blood moving quickly round his body. He checked the third message, one from Linda.

Mark trying to get hold of you. Something at Wammy's. Something's happened. About Luke.

Mello bit his lip hard, as he shook Matt awake. He looked at the fourth message, another from Linda adding the detail _V Important._ Then the fifth was from Mark again, and so was the sixth. He sounded panicked. The missed call was from him too. Mello hit the dial button, and gave the air hostess a look of 'disturb me I dare you' in return for her disaproving look. She had dark brown hair, and big blue eyes. Unusual combination Mello noted, but it didn't work seeing as her blonde roots were showing.

He nibbled his lip as he waited for Mark to answer. "Mark?" He demanded as the ringing tone stopped. "Mark it's Mello! Are you ok? Are you hurt? What's wrong?"

"It's Luke." He sounded so young, so far away. Mello reasoned he was, back in England. The connection wasn't the best, he almost lost the voice.

"Luke..?" Asked Mello. There had been two Luke's he'd known.

"Ianto. You would have known him as Ianto." Mark said hurriedly. It was almost as if he were afraid. Mello grew slightly panicked, why was Mark scared? How had he found him after all of this.

"What's happened to him?" Mello asked. "A friend of yours right? Would be..fifteen now? Friend of Liam's too? Geeky kind of kid, into politics?" He pictured the boy in his mind, tall slender. Slightly younger than him and Matt. "Is he hurt? Are you hurt?"

"I-he..he was found this morning. D-dead."

Mello swore loudly. Matt was looking concerned now too. He cocked his head slightly, and Mello lowered his voice so that he didn't disturb anyone else. "Killed himself?" He asked.

Mark's voice broke slightly. "They..it looks like it." He paused. "He didn't leave a note though."

Mello held the phone between him and Matt, it was hard to hear but the managed. "Most don't." Matt told the boy. "You'd be surprised."

"I-I just...he was fine the other day.."

Matt swore now too. _That's five suicides at Wammy's in the last twenty years _he murmured to himself quietly. He reached for his lighter, remembered it wasn't there. Then he reached for a cigarette nervously, and slit it into his mouth. "Mark. It's Matt."

"H-hey Matt." Mark said.

"Mark why are you phoning me now?" Mello asked. "What's bothering you?"

"I t-think someone killed him." He spat out.

"What?"

"I..I think somebody killed him." Mark told them. "Ianto..Luke wouldn't do that. Luke isn't that kind of person. He reads people,

he understands people. He wouldn't do that. He's not.."

"Listen, kid, I'm sorry. Really, I am." Matt told him brushing a strand of red hair out of his eyes. "But what do you want Mello to do?"

Mello shushed him slightly. "Mark, are you ok? So you have a theory. Did Ia-Luke did he say anything?"

Mark stuttered and Mello was sure he could hear tears. "We..oh..Ianto was talking about A..But he wouldn't do anything like this!"

Mello looked at the woman in front's watch. It was dreadfully expensive but it could be fake so that'd be fine. He was surprised no one had robbed her already. But it told the time. "Mark..Was he stressed? The kira case is all that's happening at Wammy's right."

"Mello they say Wammy's is going to have to shut down!" Mark blurted. "Mello what'll happen to us?"

Mello's eyebrows crinched together. "If Wammy's did shut down then you'd probably go to another orphanage, the little ones might even be fostered quickly. Mark is that what you're worried about? Wammy's shutting? Or Luke?"

"B-both. Ianto was worried too..he didn't want Wammy's to shut..Wammy's can't shut can it Mello? What'll happen to L?"

Mello bit his lip. "Do you even remember the first L?"

"A little. But no one understands what's going on..who the second L really is..some of the kids are saying that Kira's the second L..Kira can't be the second L! And some say it's you..but other people say it's Near. What happens then if there isn't a Wammy's?"

Mello chewed this over slightly, before laughing a sad laugh. "Then there won't be another L."

"Ianto was number one. After you left and Matt left and Near they started the new race. You were all too old. So now there's us."

"Who's us?" Mello demanded.

"Ianto was in first place. Everyone expected Ianto to take over after Near. Then there was Lucy. Lucy's ok. Then me." He sighed. "Mello what happens if Wammy's gets shut down? Mello..What's going to happen to us? I don't know why Ianto would do this. Why does he care? He never seemed to care. Everyone thinks he's a psychopath..he wasn't. They said he was a sociopath..isn't that the same thing? Mello what's going to happen?...Mello?...Please.." His words were bulberred over the crackling line.

Mello swore. "Mark, listen. It'll be ok. Understand me? Wammy's won't shut down. It'll be fine. Ok? Wammy's can't shut down, you're right. Not because of Kira, not because of anyone. Understand me?" He paused. "And Mark, it'll be ok. Remember that? Keep this number. You can contact me at any time. Understand?"

Mark's tears were stopping slightly. "Mello.." He sniffed. "I have to go now. There's a new person in charge.." He wiped his nose with one sleeve. "His name is Dafydd. Everyone calls him Dafad. He's ok." He sniffed again. "He wants to talk to me about..about.."

"I understand." Mello told him calmly.

"Ianto..he.." He sniffed.

"It's ok." Mello told him. "Take care now. Alright?"

"Thanks Mello."

The line went dead. Silent.

Mello slipped the blue piece of plastic into his pocket. He sighed. "How many suicide's that?"

"At Wammy's in total?" Matt asked. Mello nodded, wiping a bead of sweat from his forehead. "Ten."

Mello breathed out. "That's a lot."

Matt nodded. "A was the first of course. But before L turned up there was none of the heir thing. There were five before. Five after."

"Not counting B?" Mello asked.

"B didn't succeed." Matt told him. "And B wasn't at Wammy's when he actually did it." He sighed. "There was A..Mason..Ianto of course..and remember Gail and there was..Cat."

He didn't list them but Mello found himself putting faces and dates to the names. "Shit." He mouthed. "Mason was never pro-"

Matt shook his head. "Come on Mells..Mason was your..he was our friend. But..I know you don't like it, he did it on purpose."

Mello shook his head and gripped Matt's pale hand until his nails dug into the flesh. He let his head fall back, as he laughed. It wasn't a pure laugh of happiness. It was horrible and mad. Five kids dead because of L. God Mello sometimes hated Wammy's. But Near was now L. Five kids dead because of Near. He knew this was illogical, and he knew the theory behind this was rubish. It just went to show that he sure needed a night's sleep. He leant his head on Matt's shoulder as the plane zoomed through the sky thousands of feet above the ground. Free.


	49. Chapter 49

Matt was exhausted. He hated flying. He hated planes. He didn't like the out of control feeling his feet got from leaving the ground. Except he never remembered it until they landed. Because then he knew the difference between his feet on the ground and off the ground. He could do pot, had done coke, and many other drugs, including mushrooms, but they gave a buzz. Flying, no flying was just strange. It was unnatural. He could understand if he had wings. If he had wings he'd damn well use them. But no, flying in a giant metal bird? Ill-fucking-ogical. That's what it was. He was about to voice this to Mello, then decided not to. The look on Mello's face was a 'don't complain' look.

Running a hand through his hair he ruffled it so strands lay just how he liked. Then he pulled his goggles up a little. He winced at the direct light from the bulbs above their heads. Tiny red lines appeared around his eyes from where the goggles had pinched his skin. He nodded his head at a man in a dark suit who appeared to be waiting for them. "That our ride?" He asked carefully. He was cautious not to stare at the man, or attract attention.

Mello nodded. "Looks like it."

Together they aproached the tall bald man, who's head shone in the fluorescent glow. Mello slipped an ID into Matt's hand. Matt flipped it open, showing it to the man. He had to hold it up, for the man was just taller than Mello. "I'm Mathew Winchester. Crime Investigator."

"I'm Thomas Anderson." Mello smiled. Matt noticed how tired he looked too.

The man nodded. "That all seems in order." He handed the ID back. His vicious green eyes darted around. Mello had explained to Matt that they would know their associate by the name he gave, and how he recognised their fake ID's. Then once they were certain it was him he would take them half way, they would meet another cohort and would end up where they wanted to be. Matt had asked why couldn't they just take a cab. Then he'd sworn as the side of his head began to throb where Mello's fist had collided with it. "Bobby Watson." He didn't flutter an eye lid as he asked. "I suppose you two are working that icecream sirconium case?"

Matt had also been told that this was Mello's choice of codeword. Something to do with the usual ones not worth it. Something stupid was less likely to be guessed, "by who?" Matt had asked. "By Near" Mello had replied. "That's right." Mello's husky voice broke through Matt's wondering thoughts.

"Good." The man looked around, Mello swore silently-if he continued to do that he'd attract unwanted attention. "Let's be going then." He said, indicating for the men to follow him.

Matt looked to Mello for confirmation. Mello nodded. They followed the man from the airport and out into the darkness of the city. The flurescent lights of the large building shone, contrasting perfectly with the curtain of blue they faced. Clouds spread across the sky, hiding each star from sight. Smoke and the sound of horns being slammed flooded into Matt's mind, and a cold wind blew through his hair. He pulled his arms across himself. A slight drizzle started to fall from the heavens, and Mello pulled his hood upwards. He now noticed 'Bobby Watson' was limping slightly, an injury to his left leg. Matt raised an eyebrow at Mello, but Mello didn't look away from 'Bobby'. The man shifted his weight from one leg to another. The roads by the airport were lit with streetlights, and a giant car park that Mello would be was the size of Wammy's was sitting outside. Hundreds of gleaming automobiles sat, and it was all Matt could do to stop his fingers wandering. Somehow he doubted Mello would be happy if they got arrested for car theft on their first night. Then again, Matt hardly got caught.

The car they came to a stop by was a large car. Dark and shiny it was old fashioned, but still more modern than a horse and cart. Matt couldn't name it's make. Which was odd, because he knew every car going. It didn't register in his mind at the time though, he put it down to jet lag and the fact that he was exhausted and stressed and a whole lot of other things. No one expected him to be on the ball constantly. There was a young man sitting in the front behind the driving wheel, another man sat beside him in the passenger seat. That was odd he thought, Mello hadn't mentioned any other guys. Still, they'd known the code, it was fine. The man in the driver's seat nodded to Mello. "Mello? Right?" A light brown fringe fell around his face cut so that it never went into his eyes. He didn't look old enough to be out of college.

Mello nodded in return. "What's up?" He asked.

"Not much, how's Wammy's house now?" The driver replied. As they neared Mello realised the window was rolled down, the glass was darkened and the boy's eyes reflected the light with a steel glint into the darkness.

Matt stepped around to the other side of the car, he opened the swinging door and got in. Mello followed, swinging the door shut behind him. The older man got in on the other side. "Buckled up?" Called the man from the passenger seat. "Can't do without safety ay?" He laughed to himself at some untold joke. His cackle was lost in the night. Matt spotted a ring in his eyebrow. Neither Mello nor Matt fastened seat belts. Mello lent forward.

"Who are you?" He demanded.

"Don't you remember me?" He asked. His friend the driver nodded. "You would've called me Ianto. I ran away near enough the same time as you did. 'Member?"

Mello felt Matt tense beside him. "Yeah, sure I remember. You were a geeky kid right?" The blonde asked. Out of the corner of his eye he saw Matt's hand skirt the door, trying to push it open just slightly. It didn't move. Locked.

The passenger nodded. "Yeah, I got tired of it. Decided what the heck? If you and N were out there why shouldn't I be?"

Mello felt Matt's eyes moving around. He spotted that the passenger was wearing a belt the driver wasn't. The passengers reaction would probably be slower. He didn't know how fast the older man 'Bobby' might be able to move. He'd have to think carefully. They were unarmed. If they'd been in a public place, they could have deffended themselves. But they were in tight room. No room to duck, no room to move. Mello could see the weapon that the passenger was carrying, he wouldn't be surprised if the driver and 'Bobby' were armed. In fact it'd surprise him more if they weren't!

The driver spotted him in the mirror. "So how long you and Matt been working together?" He asked. Deffinetely not a Wammy's kid then, thought Matt. They'd obviously done some homework, they knew a few of the right names. But they didn't know the right details. He wondered who they were. He had theories. He'd been working on a case on the side, it could be that third party. But it didn't matter who they were. All that mattered was what the hell he and Mello were going to do.

Mello gave a grin showing his sparkling white teeth. Matt could see them grinding. He looked out of the window slightly, they were on a busy road. He went over a map of the city in his mind, he'd been staring at it long enough. He was glad his memory was that good, they were heading slightly off, but not into the middle of nowhere. That was good. That gave them some chance. Three against two wasn't bad either. Matt considered that the three were all armed, that was a little worse. But it could work. "For about a year." Mello replied. He kept his voice casual.

"Really that long?" Asked 'Ianto'. His eyes kept flicking onto the road and back. "Wow. What are you planning to do with the notebook now you have it?"

Mello risked a glance at Matt. The notebook. They thought that they still had it? He'd obviously taken in Mello's face, but hadn't connected anything together. Their information was old too, the only new bits they had the codeword and the name. Meaning they probably weren't that clever. They passed a fast food resturant and Mello spotted a sign for services coming up. He nodded to Matt.

"Services." He murmured.

"Really I thought I was the only one who could read Japanese." Matt joked in return.

The two in the front seats laughed. The driver spoke. "Mello's not just a pretty face." He steered expertly with one hand on the wheel alone. Matt spotted an expensive looking watch, with tiny stones around the sides. Probably nicked.

"Hey can we stop in the service station?" Mello asked. Matt was glad he was the one to do it, he reckoned he couldn't make it sound natural.

'Bobby' spoke for the first time, a rough gravelly voice now. He sounded tired. "Aren't you expected? We shouldn't..."

Mello gave him a small glare. "Do you know who I am?" He asked.

The driver gave a small laugh. "Sure Mello. You're the Broken Angel." He didn't sound very scared, though he was obviously trying to look it. He nodded. "Sure, a small stop. You guys not eaten? Besides we're not far from where Liam's lot are."

Mello smiled. "Glad you remember that." He shook his head. "Matt and I haven't eaten for too long."

The car pulled off the road and into the services.


	50. Chapter 50

The two Wammy's boys only managed to talk quickly and quietly during their stop at the service station. Their three 'friends' were not friends. Because Mello knew that Ianto was dead. A dead teenager could not be in Japan, sitting waiting in a car outside the station. The driver, who told them his name was, Nick, had walked in with them, as had Bobby.

Matt reckoned they could take both of them there and then. But Mello had asked what would happen when neither man walked back out. Matt had shrugged. They'd have to try and take out the so called Ianto. Mello had then reminded him that all three men were armed. Matt shrugged again. Then Mello asked him what exactly did he intend on doing after they'd 'taken' the men out. Matt shrugged again.

"Because, we knock two guys out, or potentially kill them," hissed Mello. "Then who looks like the bad guys when the police show up?"

"We'd be long gone by the time the police got here." muttered Matt. He grinned. "Besides, we're not armed they are. We're not the ones who held two people hostage. Come on Mells, we can lie our way out of anything."

"Correct." Mello said. "But it'd be more serious than lying our way out of parking tickets. It'd be easy to lie about why it was done, and if anyone else could lie as well as we do, they'd get away with it." he held up his hands. "These hands are responsible for crimes all over the world. Never hurting anyone who didn't hurt me first. But I somehow don't think the cops will see it that way."

Matt shook his head. "I never leave finger prints." he muttered. Mello rolled his eyes, and Matt shook his head. "Oh I know you don't either!"

"Yeah, ok, but there could be. Plus, your face is known. A certain, Japanese, ex-police chief's daughter?" he raised an eyebrow. "We're wanted everywhere."

"How come no one's stopped us before then? We're smart. We don't do getting caught."

"I don't want to risk it." Mello snapped. He kept his voice low as they browsed over the magazines. How long could they get away with it before Nick came over and demanded they get moving? Bobby was queuing for food.

"We need to contact help then." Matt murmured as he picked up a magazine and turned the pages. Mello frowned.

"Put it down Mattie." he whispered.

Matt glanced at the cover. It was an English copy of a magazine for teenage girls. Apparently on page four you could read about how to find your perfect match. He nodded. "Right." he glanced slyly across at Nick. "Liam's bunch will be expecting us."

Mello nodded. "But they won't panic or send out a search party if we don't turn up. They know us, they know Wammy's. We don't stick to schedule and we don't turn up when expected. Also, if something does happen to us, they won't get involved without our say so. Just like we don't get into Liam's fights for him."

"So we're fucked."

"Nope." Mello glanced up at Nick. "We're not." he tapped his fingers. "Come on Mattie, lets get some cigarettes." he looked up at Nick. "You don't need to stand guard you know," he patted his jacket. "Oh damn, I left my wallet in the car. Can you get it?"

Nick shrugged then nodded. He began to walk away.

"I guess he reckons it'll look more sucpicious if he refused to leave." Matt told Mello quietly.

"Do you think he knows we know that they're not who they say they are?"

Matt raised an eyebrow. "That's quite a mouthfull there." he chuckled. "They underestimate us too much."

After visiting the onsite pharmarcy, the super market, and buying a packet of cigarettes they concealed their purchases and disposed of the packaging. Then met up with Bobby who finally came away from the fast food counter with twp brown bags of food, and a cardboard cup holder with five drinks. Mello grinned as they caught up with him. "Let me carry those for you!" he offered. Bobby began to refuse, but then when Nick (who had returned) shot him a look, be allowed Mello to help.

Mello gave one of the bags to Matt, and grabbed the drinks. He walked ahead of their two imposters, and talked as he did. "Oh it's cold isn't it?" he shivered. "Which ones are the diet ones?" he asked.

"The two with blue straws." Bobby said.

"Right." Mello agreed. As they headed out into the night, he moved the straws into two of the other cups. "Just in case." he murmured. Then clipping the lids off the others he deposited the powder he had created into the drinks. He grinned at Mattie. He stepped back as Nick opened the car door for them, and they clambered in.

Once inside the car Mello took a sip from his own drink, and passed the other to Matt. Then passed out the other drinks. The men, apart from Nick, took them gratefully, sipping happily.

"We can eat when we get to Liam's." Nick said. He started the engine and began to drive.

Bobby was the first to pass out. Matt watched his pupils begin to dilate then he set his drink down as he clutched his head. Nick glanced up off the road and noticed but said nothing. Then the older man slumped forwards, drooling slightly. Mello was fast to act. The cooking knife he'd brought had come in stupid packaging, which was why he'd brought a pair of scissors at the same time. It had a black handle and its blade wobbled like a tooth but it would do the job. He pressed it to Nick's throat.

"Keep on driving." he snarled.

Matt was only slightly behind Mello. Ianto began to move his hand for the gun he not so cleverly concealed under his clothes. Matt wrapped the chain of his angel necklace around the imposter Ianto's throat. He tightened his hold so that the man gasped for breath. "Don't you dare." he whispered. "You move either hand and I will kill you."

He loosened his grip ever so slightly to allow the man to breathe. He gasped. "Why are you doing this Matt? Is this a test Mello?"

His eyes began to dilute, and Matt tightened his choking chain. He watched as the combined effect of the lack of oxigen and the drugs mixed, and the imposter passed out. He removed his chain, didn't bother to check whether the man was even still breathing or not. If he was he wouldn't wake up for a while anyway. If he wasn't, tough.

Nick began to whimper. Matt reclasped the necklace around his neck and searched for the man's gun. They were all, as Mello would say, unfashionable, unsuitable weapons. He took the bullets out of each one. Bobby only carried a '38, Matt liked the way he could hold them. He clicked off the safety.

"You know it's not a fucking test." Mello boomed. Nick winced.

Matt placed two fingers against Ianto's neck. There was a pulse, faint but steady. It was mainly the drugs then. "You try anything, and I will put a bullet through his skull. Then, through his. Then yours. Understand me?" he demanded.

"Yes." Nick whimpered. "Mello, what's going on then? Tell your friend not to hurt Ianto."

"You can stop screwing around now Nick, or I will shoot." Matt growled. "Ianto is dead. Suicide."

"That's not true-he's right there-"

Mello pressed the blade just enough so that it began to be painful. It wasn't sharp but it'd hurt like hell if he shoved it into the guy's throat. It would draw blood and it would certainly, do the job. "Nick, Ianto's dead. Ianto was a good kid. But he's dead. You should do your reasearch better."

Nick shook his head. "Man they said you were smart." they began to draw near to the junction. "W-which er way now?"

"Good man Nick. You're smart. Take the second left by the roundabout." Mello scowled. "Don't mess me about."

"No sir." Nick answered.

"Good." Mello smirked. He glanced across at Matt. "How long until they come 'round?"

"You mean if they come 'round." he grinned. "It depends, how soon Nick boy here gets them to a hospital."

"Then he better answer our questions fast." Mello let the man breathe. "Who are you working for?"

"I told you, man, I'm on your side. Ok, so he lied about his name- I mean, come on man-"

Mello became angry. "Don't lie to me!" he screamed.

Nick swerved to narrowly avoid hitting a car in front of them that had slowed down. "Alright..alright.."

"Who do you work for?" demanded Matt.

"I work for a man called..a man called C." Nick admitted.

"Shit." Mello swore. "Who is C?"

"I don't know!" denied Nick. Matt leant closer pressing the cold steel of a gun barrell to his temple. "I don't know!" he repeated.

"Right." Mello agreed. "What does he want with Matt and me?"

"He-" Nick choked back a sob. "He wants you to lead him to Nate River."

"What?" demanded Mello. "He gave you that name?"

"Beyond Birthday told him it. Before he died. We visited the prison that held him. C, he took me."

"Pull into the carpark that's by the next service station." commanded Mello.

Nick did as he was told. Matt kept the gun pressed to his forehead as he switched places with Mello. It was easier to interrogate this way. "Beyond Birthday, he told us N's name. But he couldn't tell us L's. C was first going to take out L, but then L died and C didn't need to do that anymore. But then there was a new L."

"Carry on." Mello said quietly.

"The imposter and Nate River." Nick said quickly. "We have to find Nate River, and kill him. C wants to do it personally. But if we must, we could pass the name on to Kira." he paused. "Except, we need a photo. Because Kira needs a face." he sighed. "And what does Nate River hold most important to him? Oh I know that one. The answer, is Mihael Keehl."

Matt glanced at the unconscious men. They'd come around within a few hours. "Why does C want to get rid of L?" he managed. He'd been slightly thrown hearing Mello's name used for such a sentence but he kept himself together.

"Why to bring about the downfall of Wammy's house!" Nick laughed. A short laugh, and then again, until he was laughing uncontrollably. "To end Wammy's!"

"Killing L won't do that. C knows that. Up to twenty six children in every generation try to become the next L. The first L is dead, but another child stepped up to replace him. When this L dies, another child will replace him."

Nick wiped a tear from his eye. "But that won't happen." he stuttered. "Because Nate River won't be the first to die! The desciples of C will bring shame to Wammy's house first. Maybe not today, or tomorrow. But just when you think it's safe. When Kira has lost, and the war against evil is over, that's when we will strike. Because the desciples of C are living under the roof of Wammy's right now! Twelve of them! Twelve! Except there is now Iscariot in our world!" he melted into hysterical laughter.

Mello shook his head. Outside the car he watched an elderly couple hand in hand walk from their car towards a large building that he had to assume was a motel. They looked so innocent, and so beloved. He only then realised truly that he would never grow old with Matt like that. The couple had no worries about dying anytime soon, they accepted it would eventually come. Mello felt a pang of jealousy race through him.

"Where did C find you?" Matt hissed.

"Quilish Wammy established many orphanages over the world. But the famously renowned one, is Wammy's house." Nick made a face at them in the mirror. His earlier nervousness and fear had disappeared. "Did you ever bother to find out how many orphanages old Wammy founded?"

"How many?"

"More than two hundred." smiled Nick. He clicked his neck from side to side. "He founded two in England in fact. One that you never even knew about. If you had even searched his name into any search engine, you would have found it. He opened them in so many countries." he became quiet.

"You're from one of those orphanages?" asked Matt.

Nick rolled his eyes. "Of course." he said with a trace of sarcasm. "Wammy's house for intelligent children!" he mimicked. "Did you really think that old Wammy opened only one orphanage for talented children?" he sighed. "Oh you are not as clever as they said you were! How on earth do you think your little L solved all those crimes so easily? Because our orphanage was behind half of them!"

"No." snarled Mello. "You're lying!"

Nick shook his head. "Ok, we got sloppy. We got cocky, and we got caught. But your Wammy was a fraud." he smirked. "He staged crimes, so that the children of Wammy's could solve them."

"You liar."

"Who cares if I'm lying?" smirked Nick. "You're going to kill me anyway."

"Start telling the truth and you might walk out of here alive." snipped Mello. "So Watari had a load of orphanages. What does that have to do-"

"Don't you want me to finnish this story before I die?" asked Nick. "When I was five my father was killed. I was taken to a care home, and then Wammy found me. He took me to one of his orphanages. He had over two hundred, there was one only a few miles from where I lived. But he flew me two hundred miles north, to one of his special orphanages. He called it, Watari's house. Origional wasn't he?" he raised an eyebrow.

"Right. What was special about the orphanage?" asked Mello.

"It was an orphanage, for talented children." he smiled to himself. "But not in the way your talented Mello. No. Because at Watari's house we were trained. He gave you letters? He gave us binary numbers. I am 101."

"Five." muttered Matt. "How many children where at this place?"

"Oh many." Nick grinned. "Thirty or so. We were all codes. Always. We all trained to become 1. Our codes changed each day. Being 1 didn't mean much. But it meant a lot to us. We trained to become spies, to collect information, to work. To be what Wammy might need. We weren't taught facts. We were taught how to fight. Do you think I'd have let you point that gun to my head if I didn't want you to? This is my task. To tell you."

"What do you mean?"

"C turned up one day. Bringing the news that Wammy was dead. And then the secrets unravelled. It turns out, there's another orphanage, for talented Children. In England. Except, those children aren't asked to risk their lives. Those children don't get drugs tested on them, or put into crazy schemes." he glanced up at Mello. "How is that fair?" he demanded. "L gets recognised! You get love, and affection and everything! What do we get? We get trained. We get taught to kill, and we get taught to survive. It's not fair!" he slammed his fists into the dashboard.

"Nick, don't be-"

"Don't be what?" demanded Nick. "Angry?" he swore. "Because there's more! How come he got so many talented children? Do you want to know? My Dad didn't die. Wammy had him killed." he grinned. "How do you feel about him now? There aren't enough talented orphans! C helped us find the files. Wammy had all of our parents killed. He arranged it all. So that started us thinking. Maybe he did that for your house too. Nope."

"Watari wouldn't do something like that!" snarled Mello. "You're lying!"

"He kept us secret! We're Wammy's army. He raised us as an army. We had schedules harsher than you've ever had. Every day up at five to train. Every day. Every day we trained and we learnt. We were drilled with so many codes. We were taught to act. Some of us did try to run, but none of us got far. Because do you know what happened each time we escaped? Do you?"

"Tell me."

"They got hold of Wammy. And he used, his clever little Wammy's children to track us down. Did you ever question the finger prints you were meant to be matching? Or the blood samples you were asked to analyze?"

"Watari never did anything wrong!"

"Wammy was a cold hearted killer! He imprisoned us. He trained us. Once, two girls were given detention for asking to leave. During that detention they were made to fight. Scratching, biting, kicking. I was locked in a room for days once. With two other kids. He arranged for only a small amount of food to be left in that room. Then sat back and watched us fight."

"Even if Watari did that, it's not Near's fault. Or ours."

"But it is!" snarled Nick. "Wammy was an inventor! So he invented tortures! Because he found two types of children. He chose talented children, and made them orphans. And it's your fault! All your fault! All little Wammy's house's fault!"

"Nick-"

"Shoot me now Mello. I know you want to. Go on!"

"I don't want to do that." Mello said slowly.

"Do it now Mello!" he shouted.

Matt shook his head. "I'm the one holding the gun Nick. I don't believe what you say about Wammy is true. But I believe you about the orphanages. I heard about your orphanage once. I remember now. I overheard Roger and Watari before. I know it's hard to be an orphan-"

"Kira is evil, but so is Wammy's house. Wammy knew. L knew. He visited us once. He saw!"

"I'm sure he didn-"

"We killed the man who ran the orphanage for Wammy. When C visited. We killed him. I killed him. Want to know how many exactly of us there are now? Twenty six. Not including me. I'll be dead soon. So will the others. Twenty six children I mean. C won't sacrifice children. We've had a grudge against Wammy's for a long time. The older members of Wammy's knew about us. Why do you think A killed himself? I liked him. He found out too much. You never bothered!"

"Nick-"

"Does it hurt to know you've lost Mello? Does it? Nate River will die. Wammy's House will fall. Twenty six children, against twenty six children. It's a good match yes? The youngest child in our army is seven. The oldest is fourteen." he laughed. "Just remember, that you've lost. C will win. Eventually." he pulled away suddenly, raising his hand to knock away the knife.

Matt pulled the trigger. Mello didn't look as if he were well enough to move. Matt knew they couldn't leave the other two alive. He shot twice more. Then pushed the car door open, pulling Mello behind him.

They walked hurriedly, for both knew never to run from the scene of the crime. It attracted far too much attention. The gun shots were loud, but luckily they were in a carpark full of cars and as they knew, people always confused the direction of a sound. Minutes later they were in the building addressing the guy behind the desk.

The man looked up. "English?" he asked.

Matt glanced at Mello. Still unresponsive. It was easier to pretend to be thick than act intelligent, it drew attention. He looked away hurriedly. No cameras. Good. There were probably some outside, but wouldn't get a good image. Not at this time of night. Mello's face was half covered by a hood anyway. No identifying scar.

"Oh my god! Did you hear that noise? What was it? Should someone phone the police?" he opened his mouth wide in a large O.

"Oh my Kira! No. There's always strange noises around here."

"But it sounded like a gun!" Matt gave Mello a supporting hand on his shoulder. "I mean it's like mega scary! It's really worrying me.."

"It's fine." the guy looked up from his crossword puzzle. "Right, want to book a room? Together or seperate?"

"Can you call us a cab? Name's Todd."

"Sure sure." the guy scowled.

They went to stand outside and wait. Mello was still unresponsive. Matt frowned. "You know, it's not our fault. We didn't know anything about it. I didn't even know Watari had other orphanages." he paused. "And the kid could've been lying. He could've been making it all up just to get to us." he patted Mello on the shoulder. "Even if it is true, nothing will pull Wammy's apart."

Mello blinked.

"We can still warn Near."

Mello breathed.

"He'll be fine."

Mello's chest moved in and out.

"Near's smart. He'll know what to do. And we have a plan to carry out. Kira first remember? We solve this case. We stop Kira. We both probably die during that. But what the hell? Come on Mello."

Mello blinked.

"It's ok." Matt lied. "I promise."


	51. Chapter 51

"You're wrong Mello. You're wrong. You are a liar. A petty liar. You just want to beat me by distracting me. Can't you see people's lives are at risk here?"

"Near!" Mello gasped. "Says the antisocial brat who'd have let the rest of Wammy's house burn to death just so he could finish his puzzle without annoying fire alarms distracting him!"

"If you can't solve the puzzle you're just a loser. But you're still emotional. Unstable." Near rolled his eyes. "You've always been those things Mello. Why should I assume you've changed?"

Mello stared at the computer screen, the giant N floating in the middle of it. He was using one of the two laptops. The other one was being used by Matt. Mello tapped the microphone, causing a screeching noise to pierce through Near's ears.

"Mello! If you have no useful information for me then-"

Mello rolled his eyes and thanked the Lord that Near couldn't see him. He used his teeth to snap off a bit of chocolate and chewed on it loudly. "I have useful information!"

"Don't talk with your mouth full Mello," snapped Matt.

"Shut up Matt!"

"Mello why are you waisting my time? You realise that I am tracing your location as we speak."

Mello nodded, then remembered the white headed freak couldn't see him. He thought it might be harsh calling the boy a freak. But that didn't mean he was getting soft. "I have one of the greatest hackers alive today in the room with me as we speak."

Matt coughed. "Excuse me, not one of. The greatest hacker alive today."

"You're in Japan." Near informed them.

Mello bit back the shock in his voice. "You're bluffing."

"I know. Shall I slow down my thought process for you Mello? Where is the Kira case? Japan. Where am I now? Japan. Where will the Kira case end? Japan. Where did the Kira case start? Japan. Where are

you? Japan."

"Three bodies will be found in a car park tomorrow morning," Mello told him slowly. "Posing as friends of Wammy's house. We think Wammy's house is under threat from other orphanages that Watari founded. He raised other school's of genii."

"Yes, well done Mello. When you called a meeting with me I thought you had something new to tell me. You've discovered something that I've known for about seven years. Watari founded many orphanages it has never been a secret."

"Have you heard of C?"

Near moved the chess piece across the board. He'd set the chess board up his way. Not the way 'normal' people did but the way it was supposed to be. There was his piece, who could move only forward unless reaching the other side of the board in which case he returned to the start. There was L who could move in all direction. Mello and Matt, only moving together which meant they could move slightly less. That was their weakness. And then there was Kira. Who ignored all the rules. But those who did not have rules and regulations did not have theory. Those who did not have theory had nothing. And with nothing you could not win the game.

He reached for a new piece, a white piece and using a black marker pen wrote the letter C on it. "You have my attention Mello. Why are you dragging that name up now?"

The tone change caught Mello's attention instantly. He had been admiring his 38, but he stopped now. Near had ceased to use the irritating voice changer, what did it matter if Mello heard his real voice? Mello knew who he was anyway. Mello could have sold him out to Kira a long time ago. He had the photograph, he had the name. He had everything that would cause Near's downfall but nothing that would let him win.

"The origional C. Not Cerwyn Evans now a lawyer somewhere in France. C as in the first generation, about L's age if he was not dead. A, Almost, B, Backup and C-

"Copy," came Near's solemn voice. "I know. Just like I'm Next, and you're Maybe."

Mello tapped his foot against the floor. "Whatever. I want to know what you know about Copy."

"I can not share that information with you. It's class-"

A tiny bubble burst in Mello's mind. "Don't give me your fucking classified excuse! This C is already plotting your demise. Matt's conducted more research and-"

"I hardly believe that Matt's research is accurate," Near cut across.

"Listen, do you want to hear this or don't you?" snapped Mello. "Think of C like the criminal version of L."

"Beyond Birthday."

"Just listen!" growled Mello. "C is much worse than Beyond Birthday. Do you ever wonder, how B got to LA with no help? From England to America. So easily. WIthout Wammy's house help, without any outside help?"

"Yes. I do know that C is the same age as L, and was living in America at the time B ran away."

"C has taken over orphanages that Watari founded. He is raising them as criminals. But if that was it it wouldn't be important. It wouldn't be a threat. They want revenge. That was why Beyond Birthday was ruthless, that was why K was ruthless. C is far more intelligent than them."

"Get to your point," prompted Near.

"C-C... I think he'll be easier to stop because he's out for revenge as he'll make stupid mistakes. But he'll go down fighting. I don't think you'll stop him alive. Kira isn't out for revenge but I think in a twisted way he's convinced himself he's avenging the world. C is getting his revenge for Watari's actions and he's using children to do it. C doesn't want to see a lot of people dead. But you are one of them. You are L."

"I find it hard to believe that Watari had children's parents murdered."

"It doesn't matter if it's true or not!" boomed Mello. "Watari might have killed our parents!"

Matt removed his headphones and hung them around his neck with his goggles. He sucked in a lungful of smoke. "Near, Mello, I don't want to believe any of it either. I don't want to find out that my parents were bumped off by a guy I would trust my life with. Mello doesn't want to believe it and neither do you. We'll never know the truth. But C's convinced the other children of this. It doesn't matter what we believe, there are children out there who believe Watari is a bad person."

"Children are their greatest weapon."

"The Kira case will take priority," Near begun. He stopped, the screen went all white and then his face appeared. "I have my files on C. I'll have them sent to you."

Mello glanced at Matt. "Web cam?"

Matt nodded, shoving the laptop off his lap and rummaging around. He connected it. "Sure?"

Mello nodded. He focused the camera so that it showed himself and Matt, he beckoned Matt closer as he flicked it on. "I'll pass on the files to Liam."

Near frowned. "The Kira case will be over by February."

"I know that," Mello paused. "Mikami's bluffing. He doesn't have the notebook in his possesion. The one he's using is a fake. Why would he let himself get caught talking to a Shinigami when he knows he might be being watched? Why would he leave it in somewhere anyone could break in to?"

"If you're wrong then even more people will die. I will die."

"I know that," Mello repeated. "We'll prove that it's a fake. We'll force him out from hiding, expose him. We'll take out Takada, remove her from play. Then you eliminate Yagami."

"You speak of it as if it's a video game Mello," Near commented.

Matt gave a smirk, Mello's frown deepened. "Isn't that how you see everything? As a game?"

"Life is a game you can only lose;" Near moved a piece across the board. "You know where I am. Join me and we all live through this. We can defeat Kira together. That's why L didn't choose a successor. In every other generation he chose one by the time they hit twelve. He chose A out of A, B and C. He chose H out of the second generation. He chose a successor each time. But not ours."

"We're working with you Near. As much as we can anyway. But if anyone asks I'll deny it," he let a laugh escape his lips. "We've had our differences but it's been good knowing you. Matt and I have brought four serial killers to justice over the past years. We've solved cases for Wammy's. We'll be tracking down C and his actions until the end. Remember that. We'll go down-"

"What do you mean go down?" Near's voice was controlled, his features relaxed. But there was a slight panic in his eyes.

"Matt and I aren't living through this. We shut down another child porn website today. We've shut down hundreds over the years, as has Liam and his group. Ever since I've taken over the mafia a group of us have seperated from the rest but it's a large group. No one innocent has died for four years. If you ever need anything from us ask for Broken Angel. We'll take out Takada for you, and we''ll bring Mikami out for you. Make sure you get Amane out of the way, or do you want us to remove her?"

"Amane is one of the only innocents still alive involved in this case. Bar the family's of the victims. She may have killed, but it's obvious she was manipulated by Yagami."

"Agreed," Matt nodded.

"Once the Kira case is over, can you get in contact with Liam's group? Confirm it for them. Before returning to Wammy's. If Wammy's falls then half of Britain's secuirty falls. Make sure there is another L to take over after you. If there isn't then Wammy's house can't continue. If Wammy's house falls then C will go on to kill many many more people. Stop him while it's small."

"Mello-"

Mello shook his head. "The next time you see me I'll be dead. Keep Amane out of the way otherwise she will help Yagami. Make sure that none of his pawns are in use. That's all he's good at. He uses other things. If he doesn't have his notebook, if he doesn't have his people, he's nothing."

"Mello I don't need your inspirational speech."

Mello nodded. He ran a hand through his dirty blonde hair. "I know. Near, I-I... You're... Near you're an annoying prick. You're insensitive and you're cruel. You're so clever that you're thick! You miss the obvious."

"I agree," Near clicked another piece forward on his board. "You're emotional and insecure. You're over dramatic and when you were ten people mistook you for a girl."

Matt's grin widened. A sad grin. The kind of grin you grinned when if you didn't grin you'd cry. Once you started crying you wouldn't stop. And crying wasn't what macho mafia hackers did. "And I'm a lazy sod who's incredibly handsome, intelligent and modest," he paused. "Just thought I'd join in."

"I'll miss you," Near murmured. His voice seeped so quietly that Mello almost didn't hear it. Matt didn't. But Mello didn't ask him to repeat it.

"Same," Mello replied. "Keep fighting for what's right."

"I will." Promised Near.

"You'd have done good if you'd stuck with us."

"You'd have murdered me before we solved a single case!" added Near. "If things were different-"

"I thought you thought logically. Things aren't different. The word "if" doesn't involve any numbers!" laughed Mello.

"Mello... I... You said I didn't care when people died...You said I didn't care when L died... I didn't care that... You said I didn't care about my own Mother...But...I..."

Mello shook his head. He almost touched the glass as if expecting to feel the boy's hair in his hands and the softness of his skin. "Shush. It's alright. I get it. I'm sorry."

Matt rolled his eyes, lighting another cigarette. He'd put out the last one as it reached a stub. He placed it between his lips. "That's the first time Mello's apologised to someone. And probably the last."

No one laughed.

"We could have been friend's."

"Nah, we couldn't have. It's a love hate thing," Mello smiled lightly. "This is good bye little brother. Don't let Kira win. Understand?" There was a heavy knock at the door. Mello glanced up.

"Is this the last time I'll speak to you?" Near's words weren't controlled anymore. Now they were fast and slurred. His white skin was ever so slightly flushed. His eyes were wider.

"Good bye Near," Mello whispered.

"Bye Near," Matt called.

The bulled hit the computer screen, another barely missed Mello's head and punctured the wall. Matt was on his feet within miliseconds, launching himself at the first attacker. Mello's foot hit the second square in the chest, the man was too slow to draw her weapon and he hit the wall. The third attacker, a redheaded woman caught the top of Mello's hand with a throwing star, it sliced through his skin and he dropped his gun in surprise. The fourth and final attacker kicked Matt in the knee as Mello struggled to reach for his gun.

Mello groaped around as a bullet hit the wall. It deafened him for a second, he was glad they weren't at a local hotel otherwise someone would have called the police by then. The throwing star had taken off the skin of his knuckles and had cut one of his fingers close to the bone. It was bleeding a lot, he needed to stem it. The fourth attacker slumped forward as Liam's bullet penetrated his skull.

The redheaded woman cursed in words that Mello had to guess were French. She slammed her foot into the side of Mello's head. It made contact and he swore too. Liam used a second shot to exteriminate the second attacker. Matt recovered quick enough to remove the first, and finally it was just the woman left. Two guns pointed at her, both held by two very good shots.

Their hands didn't shake, their eyes didn't waver. The fact that she was female didn't distract them. Her red flowing hair that matched the colour of her lipstick didn't draw their eyes away from the long blade she held tightly in her left fist. Her petite curved frame didn't make them gasp, and her jiggling breats and heaving chest didn't make their eyes widen. Liam saw she was attractive, and he saw the knife, he also saw that she hoped her body would work against them.

Still, he didn't want to shoot her. Something about ehr made him feel that way. She pressed the blade to Mello's throat. "You are L?"

"Put it down!" shouted Liam. Matt couldn't help but roll his eyes at that, did the man really think he was on a television show?

Matt trained his aim. "I will shoot you."

"I die for my people. I die for my leader," she drawled. She blinked her heavily lined green eyes. She was beautiful, underneath the makeup and the scars.

"Don't," Mello muttered. "Who do you work for?" he choaked.

"C is our leader. But I do not work for him. We work for our own good. We spill blood for each other, for the good of our people. C leads us to triumph and to victory. We are all equal."

"Why-?" Mello began to ask but her grip tightened on the blade and she turend it so that the sharp edge was pressed against his bare throat. Her arm tensed as she was about to drag it across his throat. Once he was dead he was out of the way. It didn't matter if she died after that, as long as 'L' was dead. He gave a tiny movement of his head.

The bullet killed her before she even realised what had happened. Her eyes remained opened as she slumped down Mello twisting away so that the blade didn't accidentally pierce his skin.


	52. Chapter 52

Matt rubbed his hands together and dragged the blanket around himself. It was cold in the hotel room even though the heating was on full blast. Mello paced the room, glancing out of the window every now and then. Matt shook his head. "Mello just sit down, no one will follow us here."

Mello shook his head in return, glancing out of the window again. "That's not true," he snapped his fingers together. "They could be here within minutes!"

Matt shrugged. "Don't worry so much. We're ready for them. Who are 'they' by the way?" he fumbled with a lighter, and inhaled a long drag of smoke.

"I don't think this hotel permits smoking," Mello frowned. "Well, there's Kira. Kira could find us, or Kira's supporters. There's the Japanese police, there's other mafia gangs. There's the CIA, the FBI the...the other policing agencies around the world! Near's lot could try hunting us down. C's psychopaths! Everyone's out to get us!" he ranted.

Matt gave him a grin. "I'd say you were paranoid, but you're right."

Mello slumped down on the bed. "Why did we check into here?"

"Because we knew we were being followed. It was your brilliant idea! Liam's waiting for us in the next town. We wait here until they turn up, then we- what do we do then?" he asked, looking up from his mobile phone. His games were with Liam, Mello didn't want to talk about anything interesting, so he'd decided to take his phone to pieces. He had to be doing something with his hands, it didn't feel right otherwise. He just couldn't think.

"We wait and see. But we do need another car. That's the main reason. We wait, and if no one turns up we choose ourselves a nice car. Not too expensive, and not yellow this time."

Matt sighed. "I liked our last car...why'd you make me give it up?"

"Because it's doors had several bullet holes in it, it was wanted by the US marshals," Mello grinned. "Why the hell do you think Mattie?"

Matt held up his hands in protest. "Alright mate! Fair point," he fiddled with a blue wire. Standing he glanced out of the window from behind the curtain. "We have company," he winked.

Mello swore. "Who are they?" he drew his favourite '38 from its place by his ankle, then drew his second favourite from its holster on his belt. He readied both weapons, one in each hand.

"Looks like-FBI- like that Misora woman. But they don't look very friendly," he frowned, flicking his mobile phone open and on.

Mello glanced up at him. "Think they're after us?"

"Could be coincidence?" Matt suggested. "Nice gun," he commented, nodding approvingly. "I reckon we can take them."

Mello shook his head. "I don't want to chance it. Want to know what we do? We're going to walk out of here," he stood up and glanced out of the window. "Looks like it's only them. They're probably waiting for back up."

"So we walk out straight past them?" asked Matt.

Mello rolled his eyes. "Duh no. They look worried, they're waiting for us to make a run for it. They've got vauge descriptions, see, one's aproaching the enterance. Doesn't want to raise alarm. Doesn't want to start a shoot up in this place. Doesn't want any hostages being taken," he put his 38' on safety and slipped it back into his boot, down by his ankle.

Walking over to the DVD player he selected a film that he'd borrowed from Liam earlier that day. Suddenly Matt's phone rang, causing both young men to jump out of their skins. Matt glanced down at it from its nest upon the bed. "Mello?"

"Answer it!" Mello snapped.

"Matt, it's Halle," the woman's voice was steely cold on the other end of the phone. "Mello there with you?"

"Uh huh," Matt nodded.

"Put me on speaker," she ordered. Matt did as he was told. "Mello, it's Halle."

"What is it?" he asked impatiently. "We're kind of busy right now."

"You've got the FBI looking for you. I got through to Liam, the FBI are at your hotel now. They're waiting for word as of what to do next. They're not to let you leave the building, if you do they'll follow you. Apparently-apparently they've had an order from "L" that you are to both to be remanded in custody. I'm-I'm not sure why. This L isn't Near, and it isn't Yagami. Be careful."

"Thanks Halle," Matt smiled. "Are you-"

"I have to go!" her words were fast and incoherent. "I have a situation-" there were three echoing gun shots, and then there was silence.

"Halle?" demanded Mello. "Halle?" there was a buzzing noise as the line indicated there was bad connection. "Shit."

"Is she-?" Matt asked. He held the phone closer to his mouth. "Halle can you hear me?"

"Halle, confirm that the situation is under control!" Mello commanded. "Halle?" he begged.

Matt glanced out of the dusty window once more. They were sitting, watching the building. In a marked car of all things. They even had the matching jackets. How cliche. He had their doubts that they were FBI, but Halle had confirmed it. Now she needed to confirm she was ok.

Halle had to shout to make herself heard. She'd dropped the phone pretty hard when she'd fired her weapon. "Come on Lidner!" gasped Matt.

Her silky voice came through the mobile phone loud, clear and bold over the crackling. "...Uniform. November. Delta. Echo. Rover. Charlie. October. November. Tango. Rover. October. Lima... Situation under control!" she hung up.

Mello breathed out a sigh of relief. "Thank the Lord," he murmured. He removed the disk from it's package, and slipped it into the DVD playing machiene.

Matt frowned at him, watching him in wonder. "No offence Mells, but this is not the time to watch porn."

"I'm not," Mello rolled his eyes. "Are you ready to get going? Why d'you think I chose the bedroom with the shared bathroom? Because it was cheaper?"

"Right," Matt nodded. He was meant to be following some kind of plan Mello had formed in his mind. Mello often forgot not everyone had the same mental process as he did. "We're going to go out through that door?"

"Give the man a cigarette!" Mello put the volume on the porn film up and unlocked the bathroom door from their side. It was true, it was cheaper to get a room with a shared bathroom, or even a communal bathroom at the end of the hall. There was a door on one side of the bathroom that led to their room, and one door on the other side that led to the other room. Both locked, from the inside and out. Not many hotels had them now a days.

"Have you got everything?" he asked Matt. The boy nodded. "Good, come on."

With a heavy boot Mello kicked the door that led to the other room, he kicked it once, then twice and reached through it to turn the lock on the other side. He remembered a murder case that had involved the same kind of hand turn locks. He wished he didn't remember it. A scared young woman sat on the bed in a dressing gown, combing her short blonde hair. She opened her mouth to scream.

"I'm with the FBI!" Mello promised. He flashed his ID so quickly that she couldn't see a word of it. It wasn't an FBI ID, in fact it claimed he was a Doctor Cameron Barnett. But that was that. "I need you to stay quiet Ma'am."

She nodded, lip quavering. "What's going on?"

"We're on a top secret mission Ma'am. As long as you do what we say, our mission won't be comprimised. Do you understand?"

She nodded. "Yes, of course."

"Good." Mello couldn't believe how stupid some people could be, sometimes.

Minutes later Matt and Mello left the hotel room. Mello wore a long dark coat that reached the floor, he wore the woman's dark hat on his head. Half his face was covered by a silk scarf. Matt wore the same clothes as he had walked in wearing, but he'd removed his goggles and was wearing a pair of glasses. He had his arm around Mello's waist and was pulling a suitcase. He glanced at the two men who stood outside their own hotel room, guns pointed at the door.

"Oh my God!" he put a hand to his mouth. "What's going on?"

One of the men flipped open an FBI ID which looked nothing like the fake one Mello had. "Keep moving," he told them. "Don't panic. Just carry on as normal."

"Right," Matt nodded. "Course. Sorry."

They didn't run, they didn't hurry. They waited for the lift, they walked calmly towards a blue, normal looking car. It was old, it looked like it wouldn't do seventy, and had seen better days. But its conditon wasn't the worst, and it would do. Mello managed to unlock it using a fifty pence coin and a credit card. Moments later they were zooming along the moterway.

Matt glanced out of the window. "We did it," he commented.

"That's right..." Mello replied, he was driving. He'd bagsied that. They sat in silence for a few miles. Mello kept his eyes focused on the road. He only glanced up as he heard Matt's voice. "What d'you say?"

"If we're doing this succesfully I want to go over the plan again," Matt frowned. "Earth calling Mello. Earth to Mello. Can you hear me?"

Mello shrugged, blinking sleep out of his eyes. He didn't want to end up killing them, or landing them in hospital/jail before they completed their destinies. "Sorry."

"Right. We kidnap Takada. Kira kills her and you. Want to be buried or cremated?" Matt asked bitterly.

Mello frowned. He wanted to dump the car before they got to Liam's new location. Just parking it outside the place would be like placing a target right above the man's head. The porn film would keep the guy's entertained for a while, he'd already hung a "Don't distrub sign", and he was sure he'd delt with those particular agents before. Or L had. When their backup arrived they'd break down the door or get the key and find them long gone.

"You know, I like this coat." Mello told Matt.

Matt swore at him with a vulgar gesture. He felt bitter. He was slightly angry with Mello, he looked down at his lap. "Mello," he growled.

"Matt I- it has to happen like that. It's not like we can just turn up and shoot them," Mello said patiently.

Matt shrugged the goggles up and onto his forehead. He pulled the cigarette box from his pocket and swore. He had two left. He lit one and took a long peaceful drag. He knew he had to die, and decided he wanted to die like this. With a cigarette in his mouth. "Why not?" he asked. "We know who Kira is. We know who his supporters are. Why don't we, track them down, shoot them, then spend our last days together."

Mello shrugged. "You know what I keep thinking, why am I not dead yet? Surely I should be. You know Sochiro Yagami? He knew my name. I don't see why he didn't inform his son of that. He's had an oppertunity to kill me. What stopped the older Yagami from giving my name?"

Matt turned one of the dials on the radio. "Your plan doesn't make sense to me."

Mello was a little agitated. Little being the understatement of the century. Matt was actually glad he was showing some emotion, he didn't want the blonde doing a Near on him. "I've explained it many times. Why are you questioning it now? You helped come up with it."

"So I distract the guards, you take Takada. You know, knowing that I'm going to die, I reckon I should have some pretty awesome last words. I want to go out with a bang. I'll say something really really cool. Something like-"

"I don't want you to die," Mello's words sounded acidid more than sad.

"How should I do the distracting? I was thinking go in guns blazing."

Mello nodded, biting his lips. "Good."

"Smokebomb?" Matt asked.

"Sure," Mello agreed. The atmosphere inside the car was tense. They shared ideas and thoughts, responding with single words and short grunts. Their plan was concrete, and though Mello looked on the verge of tears all was fine. "I can probably get her to the warehouse and you-" he stopped mid sentence and said no more.

Matt gave him a youthful grin. "You know one thing that's good about dying young? We'll never get old. Smoking won't kill me," his eyebrows formed a sharp v. "Mells, you're usually laughing in the face of death."

"It's different. It's you as well."

Matt shrugged. "I was thinking of saying something like, 'viva la revolution'. Or maybe I could say 'Luke, I am your father' or maybe, 'You'll never find where I hid the gold!'."

"I'm worried for you," Mello addmitted. "I'm almost afraid."

Matt sighed. "I'm afraid for you too," he promised. "Do you remember when B said that he wished he could see the day the world died? He couldn't. Meaning the world will never die, not truly. There will always be some kind of life out there. Sidoh said that there is no heaven or hell, but there must be something right? We'll meet in that somewhere."

Mello shook his head. "Heaven is real, as is hell. Heaven is when I am with you. Hell is when you're gone."

Matt's mobile phone rang. He clicked it onto speaker phone immediately. "This is Near," the young voice broke through.

"What d'you want?" demanded Mello.

"I've arranged a meeting with the man we believe to be Kira. We have the date confirmed," Near informed them. "I heard a rumour that you escaped from the FBI wearing a woman's coat Mello. Do tell, is that true?"

Mello felt a smile form on his lips. "Wouldn't you like to know," he winked knowing that the boy couldn't see him.

The next few days went by quickly. Mello and Matt prepared, and prepared and prepared. The checked equiptment, they found a suitable car that Matt liked. He chose red because he liked the colour red and it would match the blood stains. Liam dropped several other assignments to research C for Matt and Mello. But the main focus was the Kira case. Emotion was pushed from their minds, as Near had done those many years ago. Finally Mello understood why Near behaved the way he did.

Now, two days before _the _day, Mello flopped down onto the bed. "Do you believe in heaven?"

Matt looked up from his laptop. "Why?"

"Just asking," Mello swallowed the lump in his throat.

Matt shrugged. "The Shinigami said-"

"But he could have been lying!" Mello snarled.

Matt pushed the laptop away from him, and clasped Mello's hands. "Mells, it doesn't matter what I believe."

"I-I just don't want there to be nothing. You know?" Mello prompted. "I don't want there to be nothing. I can't imagine nothing. I'm afraid Mattie, I'm afraid it'll hurt and afraid there'll be nothing after."

Matt sighed. "Mells, I'm afraid too. We all are. Hell, I've taken a load of lives in my time. So have you. But we both knew, that it could happen to us."

"You're right," Mello for once was glad to agree.

"But-" Matt hesitated. "This is different. This is choice. It's different than dying in a fight, or getting hit by a bus, it's different to being shot in the back by an unseen attacker. This is walking into it. It feels unnatural. But Mells, you can be scared and brave at the same time. Didn't you prove that all those years ago?"

Mello closed his eyes tightly. There had been so much work in the past few days. So much work and work and work. Looking at case files, moving every so often. Watching computer screens, being on deffence mode constantly. Jumping every time someone made a noise. He was tense, his whole body was tense.

Matt gave his hand a squeeze. "Mello, you know I love you."

"I-I love you too," Mello croaked. "I just need to not think for a minute," he began to hum. Murmuring to himself. Blurting out random facts as Matt joined in. Speaking in mere whispers, words slurred into long sentence without breaths in between. He counted numbers, matched numbers in his mind. Searched through his memories for something non important he could occupy his mind with. He performed his own mental sort out.

Sadness overwhelmed both men, neither moved from their positions. They sat in this condition for over an hour, thinking, musing, considering. When Liam returned he decided not to disturb them. They had both zoned out, their eyes were open, they were breathing, but they looked asleep. The lights were on but no one was home. Liam decided they had a right to be like that, after so much stress no wonder they were.

Back at Wammy's he'd seen similar things many times. Children's brains going into overload. They sat in silence or talking to themselves for hours. Some looked like they were having fits, others passed out. Liam set the coffee cups beside them, and left them to it. They both needed sleep, they were looking more and more like L every day. They were speaking like him too. Liam had to wonder if that was a good thing.


	53. Chapter 53

"January the twenty fifth. One day left Mattie, one day," Mello's mouth remained in a straight line. No smile, no frown, just pure concentration. "Get dressed," he ordered. He barely looked at his partner, partner in crime, partner in life. He drifted into the kitchen of the apartment. It was a nice place Liam had found at such short notice.

"You don't look too good," Matt commented. "It's me who's going to be dying for sure. You've got some kind of chance."

"The only thing that changes your destined death is the notebook," Mello chewed the inside of his cheek. The pressure was stifiling.

Matt smiled. "I'm the one who's got a death sentence hanging above my head, I'm meant to be moody. Not you."

Mello nodded absent mindedly as he leaned against the kitchen counter. He reached for a chocolate bar, peeling the wrapper away he realised he didn't want it. He bit in to it, but it wasn't sweet in his mouth, it couldn't rid the bitter thoughts from his mind. He put the chocolate bar, a chunk missing, down on the counter top. They had just over twenty four hours. The seconds were ticking down now. Dread filled his stomach slightly.

"It'll be fine," he told himself. "Matt are you getting dressed or not?" he snapped.

Shrugging Matt wandered towards the bathroom. "I've got all the time in the world," he laughed.

Mello had given up carrying a mobile phone in December, he reached for Matt's where it lounged on the bed. Flicking it open he dialled one of the numbers he would always remember. The phone rang three times before someone answered.

"Wammy's house. How can we help you?"

Mello sighed, and explained the events that would begin as soon as he died. He could hear the man at the end of the phone taking notes, keeping calm, ever so Wammy's style. Finally Mello hung up. The next number he dialled was Linda. He didn't get her, only her voice mail. He wished her luck, said his goodbyes. He dialled in a third number. He waited, and waited as the phone rung. He thought it wasn't going to be picked up. Finally, she answered.

"Listen Matt," growled Sara. "Unless you want to be singing sopranno for the rest of your life you better start explaining. You promised-"

Mello chuckled softly. "That's no way to greet an old friend Sara," he tutted.

"Mello!" he could practically hear her blushing. "Mello, are you ok?"

"It's good to hear your voice Saz," Mello smiled. "I-I haven't got much time left."

Sara's eyes widened. "What do you need? I can get us money, is Matt ok? I can get someone there. I'll get on a flight right now to wherever the hell you are. Mells, tell me what do you need?"

"It's ok Sara. I just-I just need to talk," he let the smile ghost across his lips. "Is that ok?"

Sara nodded frantically. "Yeah, yes, of course, sure!" she paused. "Mells, what's wrong?"

Mello walked over to the single chair that Liam had provided for the kitchen, and sat on it. He brought his knees up to his chest and proped himself up on the balls of his feet. He considered his words carefully. When Beyond Birthday had been arrested and detained, Mello had gone to see him. L too had gone to see him, a friendly visit he had called it. L visited B out of curiosity, duty, and responsibility. Mello visited out of pity. But Beyond Birthday had been spiteful, bitter and cruel. He had lost the battle against L, and so he punished L's disciple. He gave Mello four names.

Alice Beeby, Lucy Jones, Nate River and Mail Jeevas. Beyond Birthday had laughed at him, and told him they were all children of Wammy's house. For Nate River he'd given only the date and the month. Mail Jeevas and Alice Beeby had the full dates, and Lucy Jones only had the year. Mello hadn't told Matt. He hadn't told anyone. He continued to visit and write letters, but B disclosed no more information. _How does it feel? To see nothing but death Mihael Keehl?_

Beyond Birthday's parting gift to Matt was his date of death, but he knew that to hurt Mello more would be to not tell him his own. Instead he gave Mello three more dates, in whispers. They might not even be true.

"Mello?" asked Sara. "Are you ok?"

Mello bowed his head onto his chest. "Course I am Saz. Why d'you ask?"

"Mello don't you dare lie to me. I am not Linda," he heard her scowl.

"Sara, what's your real name?" he tried to control the tone of his voice so not to cause panic.

She hesitated in answering. "W-why?"

"Please," he stuttered. "You know my name," he prompted.

She lowered her voice as if afraid of being overheard. "I started as Alice. Alice Beeby. But- I stopped being that girl a long time ago."

"Oh," he gasped. B's words were almost a dream. "I was- I was remembering something. I thought it was a dream before... but it wasn't. Do- do you remember when B told Mason he had a year left? We all thought he was messing about. He-"

"B hurt us Mells. It wasn't his fault," she protested. "You- you think you're going to die?"

He breathed a sigh of relief. He could have told her, he knew when she would die and it broke his heart. But what good would that do? He'd cause panic and pain and he loved her too much to do that. "Saz, there's a seventy five percent chance I will die within twenty four hours."

"No-" she moaned. "No, please..."

"I believe Matt will die also," Mello stated.

Sara let out a tiny gasp. "Mells, what's going on?"

"I'm sorry Saz, I'm really sorry," he bowed his head. "You're beautiful, and talented you deserve better than this."

"You're planning something!" her voice rose several octaves. "Mells, please don't do anything stupid."

"Too late," Mello smiled sadly. "Sara, you're one of my two best friends. And I-I know that you-"

Sara felt a sob rising in her throat. "Mello, please don't. Not now."

"Sara you're going to receive a set of files, d'you remember Liam?"

Sara, or Alice nodded out of habit. "Yeah, I never talked to him much."

"In the event of my death he'll send you those files. If I live past tomorrow I'll send them myself. They have instructions in them. Can you follow them for me, as one last favour?"

"Mello..." she growled. "It depends."

"I- I have this case. It's- it's something I need only the best to investigate. You're one of them. I want Liam on it too. I've written up the people I want involved, you can involve those you want after that. I want you, Liam and..." he trailed off. "It doesn't matter their on the list. But, I want you to get in touch with that Matsuda guy. Matt gave you a hard time over him, but- you like him. I want you to be happy, even if that's with some cop."

"Mells, I-"

"Sara I'm sorry. I love you, I'll always love you. But I love Matt too- he's...he's the one I love. You're like my sister. Saz I-" his words became garbled. "Saz, I'm sorry. Good bye."

He flicked the phone shut and put it down. He glanced up as he heard Matt give a small cough. "If you wanted to borrow my phone you could've just asked."

Mello sighed steadily. "My hair's getting long," he complained. "I can't believe we're helping Near."

"Near's won," Matt agreed. "But...you don't care anymore do you?"

Mello shook his head. "If somehow we survive this, we meet Near, and we go back to Wammy's."

Liam set down two shopping bags on the counter top as he brushed past them. "Honestly, you two are bloody depressing," he rolled his big childish eyes.

"You still haven't done your part," Mello commented. "You remember what you have to do?"

"Excuse me, but I'm one of the world's greatest hackers second only to the man standing in front of me. My intelligence is far above average and I was accepted into NASA and then Wammy's house! Mello I am not an idiot!" Liam paused for a breath. "I've prepared everything. I've set up the hacking group, and following your last wishes I'm going to get out of the Mafia buisness. Tomorrow I'm flying back to England."

"Good," Mello smiled. "I also think I have a right to be depressed."

Matt nodded his agreement. "At least the kid listens to half of what we say!"

Liam gave a small pout. "I know why you don't want me around," he told them. "You know that Kira's followers are likely to come after me if they think I have anything to do with this. So you're getting me out of the country."

"Liam," Mello said slowly. "I've made a lot of enemies, Kira is only one of them. There are lots of people who'll want you dead if they ever find out your part in all of this. You've helped so much, but you're young, so tomorrow morning you're getting on a flight and you're lying low at Wammy's. Trust me, your new task will be hard enough."

Matt managed a small smile, he didn't want to die, he really didn't want to. But he also wished it'd just happen. What would happen when he died? Sidoh had said there was nothing, neither heaven nor hell, there was mu. But mu meant there was something, nothingness was something. He widened his smile letting the mask covered his face. "Mells, I don't want it to hurt. I really don't want it to hurt."

Liam shook his head. "You know I'm not happy about this," he protested. "I can't leave you. How can I leave you, knowing you're going to die?"

"Even if I, Broken Angel, hadn't ordered you to leave, there's no place for you in the plan. There's Matt and there's me. Liam-" protested Mello.

Liam slammed his fist into the counter top. "Mello! I can't just say good bye to you knowing I'll never see you again. Let me stay- to help. Anything!"

Matt nibbled his lip. Mello spoke before he had the chance. "We're setting out at three, me on the bike, you in the car. We get to Takada's location- which Liam kindly found, you distract the guards. I take Takada, you if- if you- if...you go to base two once you lose the guards. Understand?"

Matt rolled his eyes. "Yes sir, after that if I'm not dead I meet you back in Winchester after the Kira case. You will take Takada to the van and remove all clothing from her, to ensure she has none of the notebook with her."

Liam nodded, following the plan. "Make sure you check her bra, she may not expect you to," he smiled encouragingly. "You'll both meet me in Winchester when this is over right? You're- you're not really going to...to..." pain blossomed in his eyes as he searched to make eye contact with the two. Matt looked a little desperate now, avoiding his glance by looking down. Mello simply turned his head partly away.

"You can't!" Liam protested. "Matt's part comes first, and if he died, Mello you're just going to let Takada kill you!" he shook his head in disbelief. "You can't! I'll...I'll take your place Mello, and you can take Matt's."

Mello rolled his eyes. "Nice sentiment, but kid, I don't drive like Matt does. I don't have a chance in hell of losing the guards and you don't know my part of the plan. Besides- Matt's going to die tomorrow. It's almost certain."

Frustration was clear in his eyes. "That's not fair!" protested Liam. He cradled his bleeding fist in one hand. "Just because Matt's dead it doesn't mean you have to die!"

"Liam, you can't understand-" Matt tried gently.

Liam's voice shook as he cut across him. He closed his eyes for a second, opened them and slammed his hand down on the table. "I-I'll do both parts!" he suggested, looking at Mello eagerly. "I heard you talking about Beyond Birthday before. But if you don't do the plan then you can't die right? I drive like Matt, I can take her, loose the guards, and then I'll kill her like you were planning to!"

Mello shook his head glancing at the boy's hand. "Liam...kid...that isn't going to work-"

"I'm not a kid!" he protested. "You weren't even fifteen when you left Wammy's! I'm older than that! I am not letting you die!"

Matt shook his head, he could see that Mello was getting angry and Liam was getting upset. They were exchanging angry words and glances now, but if they weren't stopped soon those words and glances would turn into fists and bullets."We need to get out of here, let's just go out. Get something to eat. Act like normal people. Pretend to be normal."

"Then..." Liam blinked back tears. "Let's make another plan! There's time!" his voice broke.

"There is not time!" snapped Mello.

Matt shook his head, he clapsed his phone tightly in his hands and shoved it into his jean pocket. He pushed past Liam and searched through the shopping bags, finally he found the cigarettes, though not the Superkings he usually smoked. He tore the pack open as he felt a tingling sensation in his fingers, and lit one, stufffing it into his mouth. "We're going out!" he announced again.

Mello ran both hands through his hair, throwing his head back in despair at Liam's idiocity. Liam's fists were clenched tightly by his sides as if it were taking all of his might not to knock sense into the blonde. Mello breathed in deeply and breathed out again, chest rising and falling heavily. "No-"

"Yes!" growled Matt. He pranced into the sitting room, and grabbed Mello's dark military coat. He tossed it at him. "Get it on, get your scarf to cover your scars if you really must, but I am not suffering from the atmosphere in this place a moment longer!" he glanced at Liam. "Come on."

"Isn't today beautiful Mello?" Matt smiled, looking around him. His game had run out of batteries. So he had to look at his surroundings, and they were quite nice. The sun shone high in the sky, and the clourds were white and puffy. Mello, Matt and Liam sat on an oustretched blanket, a basket inbetween them.

Mello shut his eyes. He didn't want today to be beautiful. He didn't want tomorrow to be beautiful, because inside he was dark and depressed and the world shouldn't be happy while he was feeling like that. He had his hood up as he lay back and a pair of sunglasses over his eyes. Liam sat, cross legged, feeling out of place. But at least he was making an effort, thought Matt. The child was obviously and understandably upset, but he was being more mature than Mello.

"What's in the basket Matt?"

Matt grinned. "I have sandwiches, and a few drinks. And fruit. Which do you like, strawberries or grapes?"

Mello rolled over so that he wasn't facing them. "I'm a mafia boss!" he grumbled. "I don't do picnics."

Rolling his eyes Matt tried to be diplomatic. "Liam?"

"Strawberries," smiled Liam.

Matt nodded. "I love them too," he agreed.

"Well I hate them!" snapped Mello.

Matt reached into the basket, pulling out a bag of strawberries and a bag of grapes. He threw the grapes at Mello's head. Then he withdrew a bag of sandwiches. "Remember at Wammy's where we'd make every single bit ourselves? What'd Roger say now if he saw us buying food from shops?" he gave a fake gasp. "And bottled water. Do you remember?"

Liam smiled a crooked smile. "I'm not paying extra for water to come from some spring in North Wales when it's perfectly fine coming from the tap! I pay my bills already!" he opened his mouth wide. "Remember when Linda wanted that special tea as well? Green tea because it was 'good for the soul!"

Matt began to laugh with a bit of bread in his mouth. "Oh that was funny! Roger's face!" he frowned glancing at Mello. "Oh come on Mells," he rubbed the man's back. "Please?" he pulled the basket towards himself and dug through it once more. He grinned triumphantly as he found what he was looking for. A large bar of chocolate, Mello's preffered brand of course couldn't be brought in Japan only shipped in especially. So Matt had settled for second best- what they had in the off licence.

"Oh Mello," sang Matt. Mello sighed and glomped onto Matt, sending the bar flying from his hands. Matt laughed and wrapped his arms around the young blonde. They rolled slightly, Matt frowned. "Excuse me good Sir, but do you realise that you're laying on me?"

Mello looked up into his eyes and nodded. "Yes good Sir, that was my intention!"

Matt shook his head, hugging her to him. Liam coughed and Mello pulled away, grabbing the chocolate bar. Matt smiled. "I remember the cook at Wammy's used to give out chocolate to the kids when we first got there. Do you think she still does?"

Liam sighed. "She died last year."

Mello felt a lump form in his throat as he swallowed down a bite. "I wasn't allowed chocolate until then..." he shook his head, banishing the dreadful thought from his mind, because of the memories it sturred up about the true reasons he loved chocolate so much, and the fact that yet another Mother figure to him was dead. "The first person I met at Wammy's was Near."

Matt shook his head. "Mello, have a strawberry. I know you love strawberries," Matt snatched one from the packet and held it out to Mello. Mello tried to take it, but Matt pulled it away.

"Mattie!" protested Mello, grabbing for it. Matt took a bite of it, Mello frowned at him trying to look defiant but Matt wasn't going to fall for that one. With one arm he dragged Mello closer to him, arm around his waist and pulled him down so his pouting lips were near his own. Holding the stalk he pressed the rest of the bitten strawberry into Mello's mouth.

Rolling his eyes Liam helped himself to a strawberry. "This is good," he smiled. "Hey Matt, I've quit smoking."

Matt looked up. "No you haven't!"

"I honestly have," he informed Matt. "What am I meant to do about the murder of the girl I solved? And, what I don't know, is if she was killed there why did he dump her body so far away?"

Mello frowned. Tempted to join the conversation. He did so. "Have you dealt with him?"

Liam bit his lip. "I do cases with hacking officially but I still do the stuff L taught us to do, usually I just leave tip offs anon, you know?"

"Yeah, being in the mafia stops direct police work. You are getting out of it though right?" Mello nodded impatiently and gestured with his hand for Liam to continue. "Yes?"

"But the cops still take ages to catch them, even when I give direct instructions," he frowned. "I just want this one dealt with quickly. Quicker than going through the stages of the courts. He's a horrible guy Mells, he messed that kid up so much."

"Police caught him yet?" Matt enquired.

Liam nodded. "Yeah, the footballer."

"Ahh," Matt said. "Yes, that is awkward."

"He's going to get off," Liam shook his head lunging for the cigarette. "I just know it," he lit it with Matt's lighter and inhaled the smoke like an addict.

Mello pondered for a second. Liam had left the hacker group now. He supposed that was a good thing. Wammy's kids moved to different things. Some did hacking, Linda had apparently organized the artists to do profile sketches for victims of different crimes. Two of them were helping run the Britsh gouvernment and a few others dealt with people.

"Sometimes I understand why Kira does what he does," Liam told Mello.

They sat in silence. Finally Mello spoke, he fought for anything, something that made them different to Kira. "But Kira doesn't know if they're guilty or not. And he kills them gently. He's letting them go unpunished for their crimes. Death for them is a release."

Matt frowned. "We kill in deffence, and we kill when we catch them ourselves. You can't trust other people's judgement."

"Apart from L's," protested Liam.

"Apart from L's," echoed Mello. He sighed. "Give me a cigarette Matt," he ordered.

Matt fingered the delicate packet. "You don't smoke," he frowned deeply.

Shrugging Mello squinted as the sun came out from behind the cloud it was hiding behind. "I don't care, I need something. I can not die drunk but I can smoke."

Matt shook his head. "Mells, you gave up ages ago..." he protested.

When they got back to the appartment Liam headed almost instantly out. He returned half an hour later with a bag of powder and his own gear. Liam preffered needles, but they'd been scarce and he didn't think Mello'd appriciate it. Mello didn't do syringes. An eight ball it was for them. He'd do lines tonight and inject the next day. He trusted the dealer, he didn't do bad cuts.

He threw the bag towards Mello and Matt. "It'll give you focus," he promised.

Mello shook his head. "I want to get some sleep tonight," he told him.

Matt winked. "I doubt you'll sleep much."

Liam shrugged. "Tomorrow then," he suggested.

Mello shrugged in return. _Why not? _He'd done other stuff before. What was wrong with it? It'd be his last chance. His last day. Wow. Did Christ feel like this knowing he was about to die? No. Be brave. Even upon the cross he did not shed a tear. He forgave those who had done it to him, and took their sins with him. He made the world a better place. Mello shut his eyes for a second, forgiving Kira. Forgiving Mikami, forgiving Takada. He forgave Near. He forgave C. He forgave Light Yagami, the Kira who had started it all.

I forgive you Light.

He squeezed Matt's hand. "Tomorrow," he agreed.

"Tomorrow," Matt echoed.

Later on, after passionate kissing they lay beside each other. "I know," whispered Matt. "I know..." he rubbed Mello's back in deep beautiful circles. "I lost you before, that hurt. But it hurts more now. I love you."

Mello felt him taking ragged breaths. "Matt, I will never stop loving you," he promised.

Burying his face in Mello's hair, grown since the last time it was cut Matt felt the cold skin of the scars press against his face. Hideous twisted scars that made Mello more handsome than ever. "I-I love you more than life," he whispered.

Mello murmured his love back to Matt. They lay together for hours, half asleep and half not. Each time one or the other woke they proclaimed their love further. Liam popped his head around the door at one point and wished that Mello loved him that much. Liam didn't _love _Mello, not in that way. But he could see the romantic love and the brotherly love they shared. Liam wished Mello felt half as much for him as he did for Matt, and he felt guilty that he felt jealous.

When the sun finally began to rise in the sky Liam realised that by the time it set, his best friends would be dead.

Mello kissed Matt lightly to wake him. "Let's go," he murmured with false courage.

Matt nodded, kissing him one final time.

Matt, Mello and Liam did lines. They lost count of how many they did.

It was as they were leaving Liam's phone rang. He flicked it open immediately, hushing Mello and Matt. "Hello?" he called.

"This is C,"

came the crackling voice everyone recognised before as L's. _"Mello, Matt, you were told I would step in and stop Kira if I had to. Or at least I would send you help if you were incompetent. Intelligence you have, but no man power. It seems you won't need it. But I have a warning for you, beware of Hideko Akino. I know of your plan Mello. As soon as Takada gets on the bike Akino will know that something is wrong. Takada gave her knowledge of the notebook as insurance, if Kira ever killed her then Akino would kill Kira. If anything happens to Takada Akino will take her place and kill those who have taken her immediately. Akino has already infilirated Near's inner circle. If anything happens to Takada or Kira then Akino will take action. She has the eyes. If you do anything, then Near dies. But first, Near sends all details of his future succesors to Akino. Akino will kill Wammy's house. Akino will kill Nate River. Kira will know. He does not know of Akino's existence yet, Akino does not know of the importance of what she knows yet. But she will soon."_

"How the hell do you know this?" demanded Mello.

"_Because Akino is working for me."_

"Then tell her not to-"

"She is a double agent. She is meant to be spying for me on Takada. But she is treachorous."

Matt swore as he understood. "So you want us to do your dirty work? Get rid of her?"

C smirked. "_She is no longer a remember of my army. She and those with her are outcasts. She has two body guards. If you take Takada while she is alive then you will not defeat Kira."_

Mello shook his head in disbelief. "What do you suggest we do?" he demanded.

"_Your plan involves two people. But there are three of you. Matt is a distraction. Mello takes the woman. And the owner of the phone, the one who goes by the name Liam, he takes out Akino."_

"C, why can't you-"

"_Hopefully only two of you will die today," _C chuckled. "_Sadly I think I will have three funerals to attend."_

"It's a game!" hissed Mello under his breath. "To that idiot, it's a game. How the hell is he-"

"_Good luck." _

The line went dead as C threw the phone into a dustbin after taking out the battery and sim card. He boarded the train that arrived, removing his hood and smiling at the woman next to him. She trusted a well dressed, smart, polite, clean shaven young man. _She shouldn't _smirked C. He picked up the dummy her baby threw onto the floor and handed it back to her as she smiled gratefuly.

Liam faked a smile. "Well then, I think you'll need me."

C withdrew another phone from his pocket and texted the details to the number he'd contacted earlier. He didn't intend to step in if Kira got out of control. Kira was Wammy's problem. C just liked to play games. He liked what he'd found out about the one called Liam. Liam would be lots of fun later. He had the perfect murder planned out, see if Liam could solve that one.

Three men left the appartment, high, focused, and ready to die. None of them returned. They said their goodbyes, Liam hugged Mello and Matt. The couple kissed one last time. Then they headed in their seperate directions. Liam had to take out the woman first, but not too soon before Takada. He was going to pick up a car and a friend on the way. Mello needed to get the bike.

As Matt drove Mello prayed. He prayed that there would only be three funerals in order. For Akino. For Takada. And for him. He hoped, he prayed, he begged that Matt go unharmed. But somehow he knew that wouldn't happen. Liam. It was all down to Liam now. Liam had to be ok. He had to survive.

Liam wasn't even meant to be there. Liam wasn't part of the plan. Liam wasn't involved with Kira or the mafia or anything out of choice. Mello shook his head in despair, he'd killed another of his friends.

Poor Liam.

Blessed be thy soul.

He'd caused the death of another friend. Wasn't it bad enough that he was condemning Matt to hell? Did he have to take Liam down with him?

It was the only way. To save Near's life. For the greated good.

Matt's phone flickered to life as it began to ring. Mello reached for it and flicked it open.

"This is N," Near introduced himself. "I wanted to say...good luck."

"Near, I need you to do something. You need to find Liam."

Near shut his eyes tightly. "I know what he's planning. He's- he's defeating Kira with us. He's brave."

Mello shook his head as anger rose through him. "Matt and I are going to die, but we don't care if no one remembers us. But if Liam dies, promise me, that you'll remember him. You understand? Promise me you'll give him credit for defeating Kira!"

"Of course-"

"And Near, promise me, that you get him what he needs. Get him to hospital, get him help. He's going to need help. When you find him, take him back to England with you, he'll be on the C task force. But first get him help. Get him clean. Near, please, please, do this for me?" he begged.

Near swallowed. "Do you think I would leave him dying?" he demanded.

Mello ran a hand through his hair. "If he survives this he'll probably get drunk, or high or both. Please, find him. Bury him. Give him a funeral?"

"Mello!" snapped Near. He schooled his anger and returned to his usual calm self. "Do you really think so little of me?"

"Just look after him. Ok?" asked Mello.

"Of course."

"Then this is good bye," Mello told him.

Near twirled a thin strand of white hair between his fingers. "Good bye," he murmured.


	54. Chapter 54

Liam tapped his hand against his thigh. He glanced up, grinning as Lea Smith approached the car. Her short hair had grown long now, showing off the curved neck and the sharp jaw. It was pulled back, off her skin.

"Long time no see," she commented. Tight black pants, not leather, Liam thanked the Lord, you looked really cool in tight leather; but like hell could you move in them. He needed her able to move.

She wore a tight black vest top, and she sure had matured since last time they'd met. Her breasts were actually full, the dark bra wasn't hanging off her, it was supported by the supple firm- why was he staring at her?

Combat boots, sensible. He couldn't see the gun hidden in the boot, but he knew it was there. He did spot the two knives in the other boot, one gun by the belt, one gun down the back, and he'd bet his soul that she had more illegal weapons concealed elsewhere.

"Get in," he gestured to the car. Nice one too, it would probably pick up a lot of girls.

Sliding into the passenger seat she flashed him a pearly white grin. "I'm honoured you chose me," she commented gracefully.

Shrugging he tried to focus straight ahead. He'd always liked Lea, she'd always been spicy, spikey, completely alive. Brilliant personality. Completely funky. And she could throw a punch, apparently the last guy to try for a grope without her permission left without his teeth. She could fire a weapon too. And Mello trusted her. He wanted her and Daniel on his team, they investigated stuff for him, they planned things for him, and they always did the job right. Luckily enough she was in Japan, Liam wondered where Dan was.

"Happened to Daniel?" he asked aloud.

Her smile faltered, wavering like static on a television set. A cold stony feeling came over him, immediately he realised he'd asked the wrong question. He'd put his foot in it. Had she and Daniel been an item that ended badly? He hoped not. Her smile returned slowly, schooling her features into a mask of calm. She'd been taught well.

"He's gone," she said finally. Her green eyes darted up at him, looking for a reaction.

Oh,

he thought. _Shit. _"When?"

"December," she told him coolly. "We were doing something for Mello, and he...he..." she bit down hard on her lip. "Sorry, let's keep this professional. I'm meant to be a professional."

Liam smiled, a grin cover his face. A fake grin, but a grin all the same. "'S alright. Should've seen Mells this morning. Don't worry about it, it happens."

She nodded, nibbling her lip again. "I got the files, sent from the hacker," her tone was buisness like and formal. They passed buildings, trees, more buildings. She mentally prepared herself for what was to come. Mello had saved her from the mafia, saved her from selling herself on the streets at night and being a sex slave for half the men she met. She and Daniel had been a good team, Mello was right, he'd sent them to the right side. They still broke the law, but they broke the law in a good way. They'd got away, they'd got proper jobs where they did proper things. They were proper detectives, working under Wammy, under Mello. Mello saved them. Mello saved her. She owed him.

"How old are you?" Liam frowned. The question had suddenly sprung to mind. She didn't look that old. To be honest she looked like a very well matured sixteen year old, but he felt a bit weird perving at a sixteen year old. Not that it made it better staring at the breasts' of a twenty year old. But a sixteen year old, wouldn't get into the mafia that easily.

"Eighteen," she frowned. He glanced off the road and onto her face for a second, she wore makeup he noted. Foundation? Hence the smooth creamy skin. He could still see the beauty spots that she tried to hide, he thought they truly were beautiful. Was she wearing lipstick, or were her lips naturally that colour? There was a way he could find out. She was wearing eyeliner, he was pretty sure of that, they were done in that anime eye way. Did she realise that this might be the last day she walked this earth alive?

Eyes on the road! But she had matured well. She sure was pretty. Eyes on the road, don't blus Liam. He thought perhaps his mind wasn't working right, it was shutting down, because he didn't feel afraid. Even though his mind was whizzing at one hundred miles per hour he wasn't afraid. He was buzzed up, and really shouldn't be fantasizing about the young talented woman sitting beside him.

He suddenly wanted to throw up.

"Liam!" called Lea. She stared at him as he coasted along the road. Her carefully styled eyebrows arched into a v. "Li!" she snapped her fingers in front of his face.

"What?" he demanded.

"Turn left now!" she shook her head as he did so, in almost disbelief. "You almost missed the bloody turning! Kill the engine when we get within two hundred yards."

Yes Ma'am.

He said silently. He didn't doubt that she wouldn't appriciate it if he said it aloud.

Liam readied his weapon. He glanced across at Lea, a look of determination covered her face. They had this planned out. There were no other exits, which meant this was the only door. How many people did the target have inside? He couldn't be sure. But the place certainly felt bad. Lea's face was full of determination, Liam concealed a grin. That was the right attitude. You needed it, a cold detachtment. For the job they were doing.

He nodded to her, ready? She returned the nod.

There could be innocent people in the building. Which was little more than a large concrete box. Similar to Mello's mafia hang out. There could be innocent people with the bad guys. Liam had wanted to give them a chance, to leave the building, but as Lea had explained on the way that would mean that the target had warning too. And the first thin that she'd do was bump off everyone on the hit list.

Akino. She'd just kill Near, kill all the other names she had.

They could just blow up the building. But then any innocent person wouldn't be able to escape. And blowing it up would take a lot of force. Besides, Akino probably had the place rigged.

There was also the possibility they were walking into a trap.

C had added more details, claiming that Akino would be there alone.

So all they had to do was walk in, and then- kill her.

Liam pulled the mask down over his face, Lea copied him.

Kicking the door open with one foot he grinned as the lights went off just as he'd planned. He'd looked at the blueprint C had sent, he knew the place inside out. So did Lea. They could do this.

It was only after he stepped through the doorway, that he began to wonder why the building was empty. Why would Akino have the building empty? Why would she be working there alone?

Would Takada really come up with such a plan?

The building was only one room. Lea flicked the light on. A desk sat in the far corner, a red headed woman sat behind it. Cupboards lined one wall and stacks of shelves lined the others. The middle of the room was empty.

Liam neared the desk slowly, not lowering his weapon. He called out to her, threatening, telling her to show her hands. But she wasn't moving. Lea shoved the doors of the cupboards open one by one, securing them.

"Akino?" he demanded. It was then, he noticed a splurge of red poking out of her chest. Staining the front of her jacket, and her hands were, her hands were ductaped together.

"She's dead!" he called to Lea. "Not long," he checked for a pulse, just to make sure. Stranger things had happened. He reached into her jacket pocket, searching for anything. Identification even. He found a card, a warrant card. "She's a cop! Not Akino-" he spotted the notepad in front of her. Just plain paper, not even the right colour.

And you thought I'd ever tell you the truth. Too bad tock. You're dead.

An all too familiar device was taped to the underside of the table. "Shit!" he swore. "Bomb!"

Lea looked up, snapping to attention. She sprinted towards the door, Liam joined her. They'd triggered the timer when they entered, this was just C's plan to get rid of them. He wanted Kira stopped, like the rest of them, he knew Mello would send his finest available. But he wanted them to find the body first. To know they'd been double crossed. To know they'd lost.

How could they be so stupid?

That was when Liam twisted his ankle. He cried out in pain and Lea stopped as she reached the doorway. She turned, and made a split second decision. She turned back, supporting Liam by one arm, half dragging him towards the open door.

Just as they reached the doorway, Liam truly realised how stupid they'd been. They hadn't even checked the place for booby traps. A click above them and Lea looked up.

"Don't-" Liam began.

You hear a click above you, you never look up. It was a rule that she would not forget for the rest of her life. She shoved him through the door as the asid fell, she lowered her head. It still hit her face, burning her skin up immediately. On fire, her face felt as if it were on fire. It hurt. Christ it hurt.

Liam limped onwards, dragging her by the hand. Fire shot through his leg, his ankle stung. Thank God it wasn't broken. She let out a small scream when the asid hit, but they couldn't stop. They had to keep moving. Her face burnt. Her face was on fire.

The car was one hundred and fifty yards away when the building blew.

Just before Liam lost consciousness he flicked his phone open, speed dial. Matt picked up immediately. "Liam?" he demanded an answer.

Liam groaned. "It-it was fake. All of it. C set us up, to kill us or to challenge us."

"Are you ok?" panic rose in his voice.

"I'm...I'm ok...safe. Not sure about Lea...asid...face...I got to away...Lea was closer...hurt..."

Matt swore. "Hang in there, Near's sending help."

Liam managed a small nod. "Then get on with it," he croaked.

Matt gave a tiny shredded smile. "Thanks," he fondly murmured.

"Good luck," Liam managed to spit the words out before his phone died. He rolled over slightly, a piece of brick pinned his leg. Damn that hurt. But it wasn't too bad. He was alive. He was fucking alive!

Lea was only a few feet away from him. The asid had hit his jacket, she'd shoved him far enough away. Her face was swollen. He bet it hurt. She groggily tried to sit up but failed, her arm was bleeding, and looked out of use. Looked like she cut it when she fell. She was trying to say something through her red puffy face. Her eyes were frantic with panic as she tugged at her boot trying to get a gun free.

Lea desperately tried to tug free the concealed weapon with her left hand. She was right handed, but practised with both. She couldn't move her right arm, it didn't hurt, but just wouldn't move. Her other arm burnt, but she had to get the gun.

Lewis Shea had been trained for this moment. By C himself. But his team had heard that there would be far more than these two. Mello's pack seemed incredibly small, as did Wammy's house. They'd origionally believed that L was a team. It turned out he wasn't. Broken Angel was supposed to be a team, he wasn't. Matt was supposed to be a team of hackers, he wasn't. And now, Mello's assault team turned out to be two people.

But they were meant to die inside. He was just there to make sure the job happened. His team consisted of five, a small team, but a team none the less. The girl wouldn't be a challenge, her face was wrecked, and everyone knew women didn't make good soldiers. She looked barely capable of aiming a weapon in any state, let alone pulling the trigger.

He knelt down beside Liam, he'd bagsied this one a while ago. When they first learnt of his existence and assosciation with Mello. He smiled a lopsided grin at the boy. "Game over," he murmured.

Panic filled Liam's eyes, there was no way he could reach the weapon. It was over. All over. He didn't want it to end. Not like this. Lewis Shea clicked the gun off safety, didn't want to shoot himself by accident did he?

He was about to press it against Liam's head, when Lea's bullet soared through the air, embedding itself in his skull. Grey, pink and red matter splattered the ground behind him. Lewis Shea did manage to fire one bullet, after his death, his muscle jerk caused him to pull the trigger, shoving a bullet into Liam's shoulder. Liam roared in pain.

Lea's face hurt, it really really hurt. Her eyes burnt and her vision was bleary. But since she'd started working for Mello properly, her aim had improved a lot. Mello wasn't a sexist pig like the rest of them, he let her carry a weapon all the time. And any man who spoke down to her would often find himself singing soprano for a while. Even with her eyes stinging, her vision clouded, she managed to remove three other men from action.

Her gun was out. Shit.

She arched her back as pain rushed through her, didn't Liam get the idea that you were meant to shoot the bad guys? He seemed to be having trouble reaching his weapon.

She bit down hard to stop herself from crying as she tried to slide the gun out from her belt.

The fifth man stood over her, she tried to kick up, and managed to, but with the same strength as a kitten.

Suddenly a gunshot echoed in the valley, she shut her eyes tight. But her skull hadn't splattered and her body was still in the same way it had been seconds ago. She opened her eyes, the heavy well built man slumped to the floor, red seeping through his chest.

Behind him stood a woman with dark hair, wearing tight black jeans and a tight t-shirt. Her hair was lose, and her nails carefully manicured as she held the gun delicately, her heels were sinking in the mud. She smiled a scarlett smile. Her eyes twinkled.

"We haven't met," she told the injured girl. "But Mello helped me too. That's why I came back to Japan to help Near," she knelt down beside Lea but made no attempt to move her or touch her. "Don't try to move, you're safe now."

Liam looked up. Who was this woman?

She grinned mischeviously. "We got here just as you were taking out those guys, who says a woman can't do just as good as a man? And," she lowered her voice. "We do it in heels."

Pain hit Lea in waves. She was dying. That was the only explanation for it hurting that much. It soared through her, her arm was on fire, the other was like stone at her side. Her face, her face hurt. She almost cried, her face, she'd always loved her face.

When she'd been with the mafia, her face had been gaunt and thin. Bony. She'd seen herself. High a lot of the time, not eating. Stomach lined with vodka and coffee.

But she'd worked hard. Worked for Mello. She'd looked better. She'd felt better. She'd got better. It was all over. What man would ever love her if her face was ruined? Everyone relied on the face.

She clenched one fist, the fist she could move. How could she think about something so trivial? Mello was on a suicide mission. She could be dying for all she knew. So many people were dying all around her and she was worried about her looks? She bit back the heavy tears.

"You're going to be fine," the woman promised.

Lea shut her eyes. Tried to open them, but it took so much effort. It hurt. Her eyes were heavy. She wanted to shut them. Just for a minute.

Or two.

"Will my face be ok?"

The woman almost laughed. "You'll be fine," she promised.

"Not..." gasped Lea. "Not an answer."

"You look beautiful," Liam said hoarsely. He felt heavy arms on him, lifting him. He opened his mouth to say more but it wasn't working. His lips felt numb and large. He knew he was bruised all over. He hurt. He let sweet sleep become his pain killer, taking him into a land far away, a land of dreams. Sweet dreams.

Lea winced as something cold hit her face. Someone was pressing something to her face. It hurt. "Don't leave me," she begged.

The woman shook her head, but Lea didn't see. Her eyes were already shut. "I won't leave you," promised the woman. "Trust me. My name's Sara. I'm a doctor."

* * *

><p>Matt's car screeched alongside the building as he fired wildly. He didn't bother aiming. He didn't bother thinking. He didn't want to think anymore. All of this was instinct. And it sure felt good.<p>

"This'll be the day that I die!" he sang. "This'll be the day that I die..."

Good, he'd got their attention! As he drove away he knew Mello's part of the plan was going right. But he feared it would go too well. He wished now that they hadn't written dying into the plan, then he could ignore it and pretend it wasn't going to happen. But he couldn't. He couldn't ignore it anymore.

He sighed, with one hand placed a cigarette between his lips and lit it. If he was going to die he might as well die happy. On coke, thinking about Mello and smoking.

He blew out a puff of cigarette smoke. Mello always did say that these things would kill him.


	55. Chapter 55

The tires squealed as Matt sped away, leaving the coughing and the confusion behind him. He was young, he was free. He tore away, glad that they were giving chase. Good. That's what they were meant to do. He would lead them away, as far away as possible, and when he was safe, when he was sure he wasn't being followed, he'd meet up in Near's safehouse, with Liam and their friend Lea. Sara, he was told, would be there too. Mello, if all went well, would be there.

But Matt knew the plan wouldn't get that far. It was inevitable. He would never get as far as that safehouse. He would never see Mihael Keehl again. Mello would probably never see him again, unless it was in a morgue.

Halle Lidner wasn't informed of the plan beforehand. But she would recognise that hair, that posture, that ego anywhere. _Mello. _She knew the basics of the plan, she knew they'd been plotting something like this. Of course Takada was at risk of kidnap at all times, popular in the media and known cohort with Kira? Of course she was. While acting as her bodyguard Halle learnt things.

But she hadn't expected to see Mello. Takada went with him, silently, as if she herself was accepted to her fate. But she couldn't know it was Mello, she couldn't know what he planned.

Halle almost forgot that she was in public. She stopped herself from screaming good luck to Mello, good luck, take care, I hope you win. She restrained herself from screaming her best wishes. She kenw better than that of course. But she thought she caught the glint of a smile from under the helmet.

As he screeched away, she watched the few guards that did follow him lose him in the busy street almost immediately. All she could think, was that she hoped he'd take care. Even the best laid plans go wrong, and he knew that well enough. What was he trying to do? Kill himself? She hoped not.

Good luck Mello.

Minutes later a few alleys and the bike plus Takada were secured safely in a cargo truck. Mello was satisfied. He hadn't had a moment to think yet, excitement and adrenalin ran through him. He shoved Takada forward, letting her slump to the floor. Pointing his 9mm at her head, he gave her an order. "Take off everything you're wearing, and put it in the box," he glared at her. Practically daring her to refuse.

But she knew, as well as he did, if he were going to shoot her, he would have done it already. This was all about Mikami.

"You're...you're asking me to strip? Right here?" she gave a slight whimper.

Mello swore mentally, but Watari had brought him up not to swear in front of ladies. Sara didn't count as a lady. Neither did Linda, or Lea. They were women. This mad cow was a real lady, for sure. She was trying to pull the wool over his eyes by pretending to be weak and pathetic and female. But he knew full well that females could be just as vicious as males, and even more talented sometimes.

"Now," he snapped. He knew he was revealing his face to her. But she was going to kill him anyway. It was the only way that Kira would know she could do no more, the only way Kira's pawn would take matters into his own hands, the only way it would work. Not that Matt realised that.

Hesitantly she stripped, depositing the items in the box. She kept shooting him anxious glances, memorizing his face and the spelling of his name. She had to get it right. Had to. "Can I...can I have the blanket, before I take my underwear off?"

No. Say no, he willed himself. You can see this through, beat Near. All he had to do was say no, make her strip fully. Get the note off her, she must be hiding it in her lace panties or the bra. It had to be one or the other. Just stop her. If he did, then he'd live it out. He'd survive the Kira case with Near.

But beating Near wasn't so important anymore. It wasn't the competition, it was Matt. Mello could not live without him. And he knew Matt was going to die. There was nothing he could do to stop it. Even if Matt took no part in the plan, he was still destined to die. No matter how much either one denied it before. Mello was securing his way out. But making sure it happened just after his duties on earth had been carried out.

Forgive me Father...

He couldn't believe he'd almost committed the ultimate sin, despair. He'd not believed God would forgive him. But the good Lord forgave, He is merciful, Mello reminded himself. He would understand that Mihael Keehl had died to bring down a very bad person. Of all the terrible things Mello had done, he had done hundreds of good. He hoped that He would understand.

"Sure," he threw the blanket at her. The plan had to work. It had to go that way.

Matt drew the car into a swerve. The Japanese police were faster than he thought they were. Ah well. Nice cars to, making a road block. Big, black cars. Oh! And it looked like the men in black were there to greet him. He pulled his goggles down over his eyes, making sure they were firmly in place. They were shouting something at him, but he'd let them wait. If they wanted to speak to him they could wait for him to get a cigarette out.

He knew he was going to die. But at the same time he didn't really think he was going to. Matt still believed in being young, being undeffeatable, being indestructable. But that did not mean he was. It was quite cold now, chilly even. He tried to spin round, turn the car, but they were behind him too.

Shit.

He tried to pull another smoke screen, but it wasn't going to work. Oh God, he was going to die.

Turning the key he switched off the radio. _I'd die for you, you know I would. I'd give up all my wealth to buy back the soul you never sold, _he hummed. He'd preffer something more cheerful. _Shut up, and sleep with me- _no that wasn't suitable.

He blew out a lungful of cigarette smoke. The gun concealed on his back was pressing against his spine now. But he couldn't take them all out. They weren't going to shoot him though. Not really.

Pushing the door open he stepped out into the darkness raising his arms. He eyed the men in black, he thought about making an alien joke then decided against it. _ET phone home? _He smirked.

They had their guns raised. Christ those were big guns. Were they really going to shoot him? They wouldn't? Would they?

The suspense was killing him. His knees almost buckled underneath him. Oh no, they were actually going to do it weren't they.

"I give up," he half smiled half joked. "Since when were the Japanese allowed to carry such big guns?" he lifted a thin eyebrow.

None of the Men in Black (none of which looked as good as Will Smith Matt had to say) laughed. Tough crowd thought Matt. They were all pointing their weapons at him. Bad thing. You never circled someone before shooting them, unless they were down. It was generally dangerous, risk of cross fire far more dangerous than the target getting away.

They even had little ear pieces and sun glasses. If he survived this, he was demanding that someone get him one of those ear pieces. And a set of sunglasses to wear over his glasses. That would be so cool. Oh that would be cool. Were they really going to shoot him? Please...

He would not shut his eyes. He would not die a coward. He refused to die scared. _I love you Mello. _He'd thought about his last words. "You're going to have lots of questions to ask me, you're not going to-"

Lea set the alarms in the makeshift medical bay at Near's headquarters several times. The doctors and Sara told her the burns weren't severe, apparently it wasn't even asid. Only scarring would be ouchy for a while. They couldn't risk taking them to an actual hospital, due to the whole wanted criminal thing. But Near's little medical bay seemed to suffice.

First she took her guns away. The alarm still went off. The bandages on her face needed to be cleaned soon, mucus was poolling in her nose. Ugh.

She'd pulled out three knives, one smoke bullet set, two claw knives. Then she'd had to asked the nice man accompanying them to turn away while she pulled up her top, removed two bladed throwing stars from where they were taped to her chest, another knife and finally as the alarms still went off she remembered her bra was underwired.

Sara didn't know whether to be bemused or amused. The girl was eighteen and had enough weapons on her, God knows what kind of poisons she had hidden on her body, but enough to man a small army.

Liam's shoulder was screwed up. He'd need surgery. But that was being sorted out elsewhere. Sara had stayed true to her word, not abandoned Lea.

Lea's face would be scarred, red and blotchy. But there wasn't much they could do. Her ankle was broken, but the bone didn't need to be moved, just set. She insisted to go to where Near was waiting. She wanted to be involved, and Sara had complied, before she ended up shooting one of the doctors.

One of her ribs was probably broken, but there wasn't much you could do about that. More than anything Lea was impatient. She wanted results. She wanted to see if Liam was ok, if the Kira case thing was going to plan. She also wanted to meet this enemy of Mello's.

Near was fixed in front of a small television screen. He looked up as Sara approached him, barely nodded to Lea. "They have Matt surrounded...did you know that Kira actually thinks I'm responsible for this? As if I'd do anything that stupid. It's a suicide mission."

Lea was almost glad the body guard had taken away all her weapons. Not taken away for ever, he'd promised. He'd give them back. Later. She'd asked why he was allowed to carry a gun, he'd said that wasn't important. She found herself staring at the television, when the first shot was fired.

The radio played in the background, Liam tried to focus on it, even though the anasthetic was starting to take effect. Matters were they had to operate on his shoulder, at least remove the bullet. He still couldn't move it, couldn't use it. They weren't sure if he would be able to again. It didn't seem important now.

A news reporter was hurriedly speaking, a live broadcast from where the accomplice was cornered.

At least Lea was ok, Liam reminded himself. She's fine. She's so fine. Her face was hurting, but it would. Broken ankle set in a few hours and the bones over the next six weeks. Broken rib would be fine. Bumps and bruises. She'd be fine. He would never forgive himself if something happened to her.

"_The accomplice in the kidnapping of Kiyomi Takada has surrendered. He has raised his hands and- Oh My God! Did you hear that?"_

The booming noise in the background was a sound Liam was all too familar with. No. Oh God NO!

"_He's been shot. Multiple times. And he's...Oh God...the suspect accomplice is dead."_

Liam was later glad he'd lost consciousness, because it meant he hadn't started to sob choking sobs. Oh no. Matt was dead. Where Matt went Mello would follow. Neither would come back this time. He was gone. Forever. Liam would never understand the amount of strain the human heart could take.

Mello glanced at the television screen. "I'm sorry Matt, I never meant for you to die," no. This wasn't fair. Matt was dead. This wasn't fair.

Matt's body covered in such flimsy clothes, they hadn't protected him when the bullets came. The red and black cloth sleeves hadn't protected his arms from the bullets. The waistcoat hadn't protected his chest or his heart from breaking. The goggles didn't protect his face. The jeans didn't protect his legs.

He died practically naked.

His body fell, cigarette in mouth. It fell from his lips as blood poolled in his mouth. He hit the floor as the men in black turned away, their job was done and nothing mattered to them further. What happened to the body wasn't important.

Matt tried to speak. Why did it hurt so much? "Am I dea-?" he didn't finish the sentence before his heart stopped beating and his mind shut down.

His eyes remained open, staring into the nothingness that was Mu forever. It was over. Everything was over at last.

Had Takada not killed Mello, he would have died the instant Matt died anyway.

Near shut his eyes and pressed the off switch gently. He picked up an ear piece and spoke into it, sending out a message to some minion somewhere, Sara had already zoned out.

"I want the body collected," he stated coolly.

Lea nodded. No wonder Mello hated the man so much. Matt was now 'the body'. The brave man who'd died for what he believed in, was now an 'it'. Dispensable, usable, abusable.

Lea understood all too well why Mello hated Near.

Near murmured something into the black ear piece. "I do not want the Kira worshippers to get hold of it," he informed just another one of his foot soldiers. He didn't even know the man's name. Just some SPK agent, one he was paying. Some guy. Somewhere.

He didn't bother learning names that were unimportant. They cluttered his mind with useless trivia, his mind needed to be coherent and logically ordered. The navigation system that he used to find his way around his brain worked well and easily. He simply selected a piece of information and followed a mental hyperlink towards it. He seldom used alternative pathways, only when completely necessary. He'd always filed and saved information. That was how, back at Wammy's house, he'd studied by simply closing his eyes.

"Remember it needs to be contained..." Near was saying, very slowly. "I don't want the media getting close to it at all. We can't have them identifying the body or placing pictures of it in public access."

Lea shook her head. He was being so cool about this. The television camera was being told to back away. It was already starting to rain, but no one was looking at the body. Nobody even approached it.

"But he was surrendering," Lea pointed out to Sara. "Surely they saw that! He didn't even hurt anyone, even prosecuted he wouldn't have received the death sentence, not for that... only Kira..." she ran a hand through her hair. "Besides...it's Matt, one of Mello's men. They arrest him, he escapes before or after he goes to court...why did they?"

She found herself speechless. The answers to her questions were there all along, hiding inside her own mind. She just could not find them.

Sara put a gentle hand on her arm. "I think you know the answer," her deep eyes warned Lea not to say anything.

The television reported was trying to get the attention of one of the men in black. Trying to get the statement. They weren't calling him the accomplice now he was dead, they weren't calling him the cornered kidnapper, they weren't making suggestions of criminal activity. Now he was dead they were asking for an identification, they were asking if it was a set up by the gouvernement to satisfy Kira. They were asking if he had a family.

The media could be blood sucking parasites sometimes.

Lea nodded. She'd been in many situations where she'd been told to shoot first ask questions later. But those were bad bad bad people. She guessed Mello's private mafia and Kira had a lot in common. But Mello's mafia killed only with proof and only when completely necessary. They did not take life unless it was a must, and they did not take justice into their own hands. She kept reminding herself that they were not like Kira.

Kira killed Mello's friend.

Near twisted a piece of hair around his little finger, resisting the urge to chew on it. Hair wasn't digested. It had to be removed medically. It caused blockages and piled up creating little furballs like felines had.

"Why has the body not been moved yet?" demanded Near. His voice steelly and cold but controlled as always. Almost as if he were dreaming, asleep, his mind somewhere far far away.

The camera man was trying to angle the camera at the scene without getting too close, he and the news reporter had been prohibited from nearing the body. The thin frame was lifeless, soulless. The cigarrette hadn't quite fizzled out yet even though it's raining full on. The sky is grey, blood has seeped through his waistcoat completely.

Sara reasoned that if Matt wasn't lying their dead he'd have killed the guys who ruined his jacket and wasted a cigarette. An amber glow came from it, and slowly but surely as blood and rain water mixed in the road the glow disappeared like the life force that had once sucked on the cancer stick.

The candle inside Matt had been blown out. Lost into the wind.

Mello winced as the pain in his chest tightened. He'd been expecting a heart attack for a while, at first he'd thought it would happen while they were driving. His heart heart, it ached so much, he was surprised it hadn't made a noise when it cracked.

Matt was dead.

Mello had parked the truck. Now he waited. Soon Kira's little whore would come out of his hiding and kill the woman. His and Near's plan would succeed. Kira would be deffeated.

Matt was dead.

His chest hurt. But if it was the note he'd be dead now. Fourty seconds. That's all it took. But he had a horrible thought, did the woman know how to use the notebook? If she did would she put detail?

Mihael Keehl, releases his captive before suffering from a heartattack.

Did she know she could add detail? Would she think to do that?

But no. There was no other way.

Mikami had to be forced to kill her. Kira had to be forced to take action.

He had to be forced.

Matt was dead.

Mello's heart was aching. His chest tightened he couldn't breathe. His chest.

Matt was dead.

His chest. His heart was breaking. Cracking into thousands of pieces. Shattering inside him and the broken pieces were piercing his pink uncorrupted lungs. He didn't smoke as much as Matt did, he bet if they ever cut him open his lungs would look so much better than Matt's.

Matt was dead.

Mello began to hyperventilate. Was it happening yet? His face hurt. The scar ever prominent. Ugly.

Just the other day a small child had shyed away from him, burying her face in her Mother's skirt. She'd let out a cry pointing at him, "Monster!" Yes, Mello could see why some people would call him a monster. But not for his appearance. His face hurt. His chest hurt. His heart hurt.

He was intelligent. He knew full well it was his mind that created feelings of love, his mind told him he loved Matt. His heart was just an organ that pumped blood around his body. But it hurt. Because it was broken. Because Matt was dead.

A heart attack must hurt.

"Does dying hurt?" Mello questioned. "Not the heart attack, of course that's going to hurt. But dying. Is it scary?"

Matt shook his head. "Not at all," he promised. "You know I didn't get a chance to inhale that last lungful of smoke..."

"Did it hurt when you were shot?" Mello whispered, fear prominent in his eyes.

Matt sighed, his goggles lifted. His eyes were for Mello. Beautiful, ghostly eyes. "It was so quick...it...it hurt...but I was lucky."

Mello nodded. He ran a hand through his hair. "You're not really here are you?"

Matt shrugged. "You're meant to believe in angels and ghosts Mello! You're such a cynic," he rolled his sad eyes.

Laughing Mello gave a small grin. "Right," he shook his head. "God you can be cocky."

"You can't say that! I'm dead remember!" Matt tutted he unbuckled his seatbelt in the passenger's seat.

Mello winced, his head hurt. Stress. Probably. "Matt you're not even real...there is no heaven or hell. There's just Mu."

Matt placed a nonexistent hand on Mello's shoulder. "They're trying to make you question your faith...believe me Mells. Listen to me. Just listen to me. If you believe then it's true. Understand?"

Mello nodded calmly. Why was he scared? He hadn't been scared before. He wasn't ready to die. He felt completely awake. _Watari...I don't want to go to sleep. I'm awake!_

Matt gave him a grin. "We should have done coke more often," he commented lightly.

Mello winced as a volt of pain rushed through his head. "Cocaine ruins lives."

"Our lives were ruined already..." Matt raised an eyebrow. "Aw Mells, you're like a dog waiting to be shot."

Mello frowned deeply. "Thanks, that wasn't the comparision I wanted."

His heart skipped a beat, then another. His heart tightened. Suddenly everything made sense. It all made sense. Everything was right. "Matt..you're dead."

"Yep," Matt had a game in his hands now. He didn't even look up from it.

Pain spasmed through him. He didn't want to be angry. He wouldn't be angry. Not as he died. He was going to die.

"Any second now...you're having a heart attack probably," Matt grinned. "You know I was shot! Quit complaining."

Mello tried to roll his eyes. "Thanks..."

"Takada's probably writing your name down, she's written it down. The truck's on fire..."

Mello screwed up his eyes as pain spasmed through him again, his heart contracted again. "Mattie...it hurts...it hurts so much," he hissed.

Matt blew out a puff of smoke. "Have some chocolate..."

"There is no..."

Matt inhaled deeply. "It'll be over soon."

"I'm sorry for hurting you-"

Pain filled Matt's eyes, the reflection of the pain in Mello's chest. "Oh it's not your fault. Now shush...don't talk...not anymore. I love you Mello. I love you so much. Just hold on. All it takes...fourty seconds from her writing the name. Just fourty seconds."

Mello could barely keep his eyes open. "I..."

Matt palced a thin finger on Mello's lips, carressing him gently. His cigarette had disappeared into thin air. "Go to sleep...you're tired. Mello I love you. Remember that? Just a few more seconds. I know it hurts."

Matt leant towards him, kissing him. "I love you Mello."

Darkness drowned him.

Where are you? I can't see you.

But he could not speak. Where was Matt? Matt had left him?

"I love you Mello! I love you!" his voice burst through the darkness.

Mello searched for him mentally. "Stay...with..me?"

Matt sighed, chuckling slightly. "Oh Mells...I'm never going to leave you."

"I-I love you Matt..." croaked Mello.

"I LOVE YOU MIHAEL KEEHL!" Matt screamed.

"I..love you Mail Jee-"

Mello slumped forwards and died. His heart simply stopped. Mihael Keehl was dead. Takada shivered in the back of the truck, she had already called Light, and she knew there was no other way out. She had always been faithful. Now he was going to kill her. She had failed him. She lay down quietly and waited for him to write her name, and for her to die.

Minutes later Kioymi Takada lay dead, the truck engulfed with flames.

Near looked up at Sara and Lea from where he was on the floor. The wheelchair took up too much room. "Is Liam out of surgery yet?"

Sara shook her head. "I don't think so," she let out a quiet sigh.

Near nodded. They had all sat numb for a while. Unspeaking, deep in thought. Paralysed. People had moved around them, short words had been spoken. But none of the trio had since moved.

"Mello and Matt are dead," Near finally said.

"We don't know that-" protested Lea.

Shaking his head Near moved the toy truck he'd abandoned earlier, across the floor. Back and forth. "Matt is dead. Mello has, or is soon to follow."

Lea felt a tear rise in her eye. "No..." she shook her head. "No...Mello..."

Near gave her a quizzical look. "You are constantly ready to die yourself, you know all that Mello risked yet you're surprised?"

"It's...it's different..." she shook her head, screwing up her eyes as pain coarsed through her. Her face still hurt even though they'd put fresh bandages and chemicals on it. "Oh God no...Mello..."

Near looked up at her through intelligent yet niiave eyes. "You think I do not care. That is untrue. Tears and fury will not solve the problem. If you can not solve the puzzle then you are just a loser. You have to realise that, the problem is that Matt's body is going to be violated by Kira worshippers and the media, to stop that happening I will remove it. Puzzle solved."

Lea shook her head. "You couldn't care less about Mello or Matt!"

Near turned away from her. "If you can't solve the puzzle then you're just a loser."

Sara leant down to Lea, brushing her hair out of the way so that she could whisper a gentle word of comfort into her ear. "Don't judge him, he cares more than he seems to."

Near stacked the truck to once side. "Thank you Mello," he murmured, inaudible. "Please forgive me..."

_I forgive you._

"What if I-what if I can't solve the puzzle?"

_Then you're just a loser._

Sara rested a hand on Near's shoulder. She hated the fact that the fate of the case, of a lot of humans was resting on this young boy's shoulders. She hated that this kid was so unemotional, so cold. But she was a psychologist, she knew emotion, she could figure things out. She could figure him out.

Mello was dead.

_Oh my Kira, Mihael Keehl was dead._

Matt was dead.

_Mail Jeevas was dead, and not from lung cancer._

"You're not a loser Nate," Sara promised.

**AN: Thank you for reading! I hope you enjoyed! Please leave your lovely reviews (criticism and all). If you would like to read what happens to C and Near after the Kira case then please do tell me so in your review.**

**Thank you for reading all fifty something chapters! And staying with me this long! I couldn't have done it without you...I'd like to thank every single one of you reviewers! **

**Especially- Glimfire, harlequindreaming and SyC0bEaR **

**To the rest of you- my greatest thanks!**

**Lots of love**

**Natalie River**


	56. The Broken Angels

Nate River lay his head down on the cool bed of snow, waiting for it to drown him. To swollow him.

At Wammy's the children used to reffer to the snow as a blanket. But Near always thought of all those who fell asleep under the blanket. Buried in the snow. Slowly freezing to death. Because the insulation the snow provided would not keep heat in if it had already been lost.

All warmth had left Near a long time ago.

He wanted to fall asleep under the blanket.

The graveyard was quiet. He'd chosen a good day to come. It wasn't a special day to anyone. It wasn't Christmas day. It wasn't Valentine's day or any other special date. But it was to Near.

He'd seen a Mother and her small child. She clutched the boy to her side, he buried his face into her skirt. He'd spotted Near straight away. He'd pointed as his Mother tried to hurry him towards the person they visited.

"Mummy! Mummy, is he a ghost?"

The Mother tutted. But she still glanced at the strange young man, kneeling at the edge of a grave, surrounded by snow. At first glance she'd thought him a statue, unmoving, stone cold, dead. He blended in perfectly well with all the other unmoving, emotionless bodies that resided in the cemetry.

It was a chilly day in Winter. Nate River lay down in the snow, in a grave yard situated just outside of Winchester, on December the thirteenth, and he waited to die.

He lay his head down on the chopping block, and waited for the axe to come down.

He'd asked the task force to wait outside. He'd demanded that Roger leave him for a few moments. But moments had turned to minutes, minutes to an hour. Mr. Matsuda and Halle had approached him after a while, asking if he wanted a blanket, a coat. They told him he should leave. But he shook his head. He did not wish to leave. He did not want to leave.

He had not wanted them to come with him. He wanted to be alone. He deserved to be alone.

But he was L.

"You saved my life," whispered Near.

He'd lied before. The grave yard had never ever been empty, people had come and go. But he'd just let them. He didn't notice people before, why would now be any different? He didn't care about their lives. Or who they were visiting.

"You're more than miles away...I miss you," he finally voiced.

He knew they were going to die. But not like this. Not this way. He'd accepted it, yet when it happened it was unreal.

The grave was black, marbel, it reflected the trees behind him. Mello would have liked it. It was his style.

"There's nothing I can do," he murmured.

Sara was unhappy, he only noticed because she wasn't working as well as she should be. Linda's son had been born, she called him Mathew. Matt for short. Mr. Matsuda agreed to work for him, Sara and Matsuda seemed to be getting quite friendly. Halle was, Mello's death him her hard. But she was ok. Liam and Lea, he had to agree they were good additions to his team. He thanked Mello for that.

But they were no closer to catching C.

They were no closer to bringing him to justice.

His mind started playing tricks on him. It showed him things he didn't want to see.

And he heard the ringing. Such dreadful ringing. Constantly. Like church bells. Constantly. They drowned out the voices, they drowned out the fear, the sadness. Just like the snow would drown him.

"No matter how hard I try, it won't stop," he winced.

He'd solved a few major cases. But none of them were a challenge. None of them were the Kira case. None of them were anything like it, or hardly as important. A child could solve them. A child did solve them.

He'd solved the second Kira case within months, just some loser with a notebook who thought he was all that. He left so many clues it was too easy. He'd caught up with a former member of Wammy's house who'd turned kidnapper. That had been too easy too.

It was all too easy. Just too easy.

What was the point of it all?

"Life goes on," Near offered. He sighed. "What did you do for Matt? What did you two have that I didn't?"

He wanted an answer. Why did he not feel things in the same way other people did? Why was he different? Why was he so cold?

Why did he not care? He should care more. He should feel. But he didn't. He had to force himself to feel. He was different. He'd always been different.

"You healed each other, you cared for each other," Near mused. "But I never could..."

Near stared at the reflection of the trees in the grave stone. "Why was I never good enough?"

The trees swayed in the light breeze that carried the slowly falling snowflakes. The flakes falled to the ground like sillouttes of happy days, before raizing into the mattress of white.

Near could almost feel the world growing around him.

"But the one thing you kept to yourself, was your parents. You never told him what they were like did you? You never told him. But you told me."

A silent tear ran down his face, smearing over his cheek. "I never told you about my parents."

Near's chest heaved. He did not care if he died here. He hated himself, he thought he did. It was only logical. Because he couldn't solve the puzzle. He couldn't bring C to justice, he couldn't sovle the problem that was Mello. Which meant that he was just a loser.

You wanted to die over that?

I still do.

Just a loser. Mello hated him by the end. He wished Mello didn't hate him. Mello was beautiful, broken, but so beautiful. With pale skin and yellow hair. So beautiful, and broken.

But aren't we all just angels with bent wings that are afraid to fly?

Mello flew. Mello fell. Mello smashed as he hit the ground.

"Why?"

He could not move on. He would not move on. Because he had sent Mello to his death. He should have stopped him. But didn't. His hands had Mello's blood on them. And the only suitable punishment for murder, was death. He deserved to die. Just like Kira, just like every other human on the planet. Because they had sent him to his death. He had died for them.

He looked up at the stone and something in the reflection caught his eye. Something moved.

Spinning around he stood knocking his attacker squarely in the chest, the gun fired but it hit the edge of the stone, a tiny chip bouncing off. His deffence had knocked the gun out of the man's hand and it had disappeared into the snow. His foot caught the attacker in the jaw, before he finally slumped forwards as he lost consciousness.

Blood seeped into the snow. Red on white. Roses on a white cloth. Twisting, turning, like a snake, evaporating.

The small group waiting had heard the commotion. Matsuda was the first to arrive, gun in hand. Sara came sprinting after and finally Roger.

But they would have been too late.

"You saved my life again," whispered Near. His voice a mere croak.

He stood and walked away, leaving the others to trail after him as they soon would. He walked away from the grave yard, and away from Mello. He walked away from them and took the first step towards the future.

"You saved my life," he murmured. As he aproached the cars he felt a warm body against his own, the cold from before gone. Vanished. Banished.

"_You saved mine the first time we met."_

"I'm sorry..." Near managed. "I'm so so sorry."

"_You never did anything wrong_," promised Mello.

He was gone. And the ringing returned. But Near realised he could cope with it.

They were Wammy's boys. Just a few children who'd lost their way, angels with broken wings. But all things broken can be mended. All things wrong can be put right. Eventually.

After all, they were just angels who'd forgotten how to fly. A group of broken down angels.

A, B, C, D, E, F, G, H, I, J, K ,L, M, N, O, P, Q, R, S, T, U, V, W, X, Y, generations of twenty six, just broken down angels.

Children who'd lost their way.

Children who were not born to save the world, but children who did.

Mail Jeevas, Mihael Keehl, Nate River.

Broken Angels.


End file.
